Another slice please……..don’t mind if I do.

Trip continued from yesterday……..

The next morning I was like a little kid, hyper and chomping at the bit to get down to the ocean because, well….the water was so close! I have never lost my excitement at getting that first glimpse of the water, it’s tied to so many good memories I have as a kid, and each time is magic, but breakfast was included in our stay and more importantly, I was in dire need of coffee.

As you can see, I fell in love with how the light was streaming in the morning windows…….and the coffee was much to my satisfaction. I had a feeling, since the night before, Nashua had shared with us that she enjoys a good cup of Turkish coffee. Somehow I knew it would be strong enough to stand up to my specifications and I was not disappointed.

We were ushered to a table and given fresh orange juice, and a wonderful frittata filled with cheese and potatoes with a side of sausage and fresh fruit. It was all excellent and it tempered my anxiety about getting on the beach enough that I could sit and enjoy it, as well as take a couple of pictures.

After that, a long walk on the beach was in order. We watched dogs play and collected some interesting rocks along the shore. The weather couldn’t have been better and that added to the almost surreal atmosphere. It was like God’s stamp of approval on the day. Having spent many cold and foggy days at the shore, I was ready for anything.

When we came back we headed up to the rooftop again, since we had only seen it at night before. The view from the rooftop was stunning……….It is definitely yet another selling point to this Hotel. Unfortunately, the only photo I got was with my iPhone and it wasn’t very good, however you can check out the Hotel website, where you may be able to see it.

Another benefit of staying in the smaller Hotels is the people you meet. I have already told you about Nashua, but we also met a very charming young gentleman named Lance who also is employed by the Hotel. He was very well spoken, with an unbridled enthusiasm for life that was catching. He poured us each a glass of wine and the four of us talked together in the lobby for a very enjoyable hour or so and I never got the feeling they were merely being polite, they were really interested.

We also met a couple from Brisbane, Australia, both very friendly, celebrating their anniversary. They asked for a recommendation for dinner and we gave them the name of the place we were going to right down the Pier, the Sandbar Grill, a local hangout which was excellent. We ended up seeing them come in as we were finishing up. As we left they were getting on very well with the couple beside them.

Unfortunately I never knew quite what he said because his accent was so thick and he talked so fast, we never understood a thing he said. He sounded a lot like “Gimli” from Lord of the Rings. We nodded back and forth a lot. Fortunately, we understood his wife quite well so that helped.

We also met a very interesting lady named Rika, who is a film set designer in LA. She talked to Elaine quite a bit, being interested in just about everything. She wanted to know how long she had been driving her motor home.

She had an elegant, yet understated and humble way about her. Graceful in the way that always makes me feel somehow lumberous and awkward, while not meaning to. She is also part owner of two restaurants and I love the name they chose: Can’t Fail Cafe.

We were thinking of heading out after only one night but we were so captivated by Hotel 1110 that we had to stay another night and I am so glad we did. It was a great send-off to the rest of our trip along the coast. We ended up meeting up with Rika again at Phil’s for lunch before we all went our separate ways. Phil is famous for winning a throw-down against Celebrity Chef Bobby Flay for his Cioppino.

Hotel 1110 was a delightful surprise and I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we will be back this way again someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

A Perfect Slice of Time

E. drove furiously into the night as we mapped our way to the exact address of Hotel 1110 on the Pacific coast. We were under the gun. The ad on the internet said the Hotel doors would be locked at 10 and it was fast approaching 9:15 when we finally called to make sure someone would be there to let us in by 9:30. The accented voice on the other line assured us she would be.

I made a couple of mistakes navigating, which made for a few stressful moments, and the first time we drove right past it. We had to drive up quite a few blocks before we were presented with an opportunity for a U turn.

“Is that it?” I said.

“I’m not sure, do you see a place to park?” She asked.

We drove back into a narrow little alley that opened into a few spaces, but we weren’t sure it was the right place so we went back out and found a place on the street. We were beyond ready to settle for the night. Past ready to start a much-needed overdue vacation. Ready to feel once again the healing properties of the ocean.

Despite our initial trepidation at the parking situation, once we entered the foyer of this captivating place, any misgivings we might have had were laid to rest. And when we met the charming innkeeper, who made us feel at home and instantly welcomed we both breathed an inward sigh of relief.

She checked us in and with a charming Lebanese accent introduced herself as Nashua. Gazing around, already eager to run upstairs and let my camera out of its case, I felt like I had stepped into another era. It was part Victorian, part Bohemian with a splash of old west Bordello thrown in, but very tastefully so. We gratefully accepted our keys and stepped up wonderfully creaky stairs to a hallway that I imagined held hidden passageways and doors that led to secret rooms.

We abandoned the elevator after the first time because it was so slow, but to me that only added to the charm. Our room opened with a real key and once inside, we were greeted by Audrey Hepburn who seemed to approve and who could ever argue with her?

“This is awesome,” I said, “Just like one of the places in my dreams!” I often dream of old buildings and long passageways and doors that lead to stairs and narrow alleyways. I instantly yielded to the adventure this was turning into.

The windows cranked out revealing a neighboring view you might see in an old Alfred Hitchcock movie. Amidst the late night traffic noise, we heard the unmistakable sigh of the sea and the barking of seals.

Vacation had truly begun.

Join me tomorrow as I continue our adventure, won’t you?

For Life

We admire the doves because they mate for life……..as do the albatross, the wolf, the puffin, the penguin, the beaver, the swan, as well as the symbol of our nation, the bald eagle. I have seen their nests, they are incredible……..as big as my volkswagen.

In many of these species, the Dad takes an active role in child rearing, egg hatching and food gathering. The Dads are needed as well as the Moms, as an intergral part of the perfect equation.

I look at my Mom and Dad, still together after 60 plus years. In them and so many of their generation, I see the beauty of staying together over the long haul. Most of the time they can still laugh at each other and themselves. They get mad at each other, sometimes really mad, yet through the years they have discovered the beauty of compromise, while somehow managing to keep the integrity of their individuality intact.

Now, I hear so many talk of divorce, even in front of the kids. Before they walk down the aisle it’s already a lurking threat, an unspoken presence in the relationship; a reality looming in the minds and hearts of both parties. If it doesn’t work I’ll just bail out.

If they don’t make me happy, I’m outta there.

If I see someone better, younger, fitter…….I’m gone.

Even if It’s not said out loud, it’s a reality just the same. But do we enter a race without first mentally and physically preparing to win?

Do we do the same with our careers? Our kids? Even our homes? We worked hard for that degree so we stick out the first year or two of being the low person on the totem pole; we stick with that tough adolescent and love them through to the other side, long enough that we don’t want to strangle them anymore; and we take care of our home in hopes of paying off the mortgage someday.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to say that there is never an option for divorce. There is abuse, both physical and emotional…….and unfaithfulness, it happens. Or maybe you didn’t even want a divorce, for you it was forever, but it wasn’t for them. And now you are in a living nightmare you never asked for.

I don’t know much but I do know a few things about God. I know He’s just and He’s true. And I also know that He would never bless something and call it good without giving us the means to do it successfully for life.

Wisdom begins when we start to see things as God sees them and when we realize we have no hope of carrying if our successfully without His help.

And when a society as a whole reduces the physical relationship that should be part of marriage between a woman and a man to nothing more than a physical act, perfectly permissible between anyone, at any time; something to laugh at, joke about, even brag about, that society begins to cave in from the inside out.

And the end result for the individual and for the society as a whole will be despair, emptiness, and a longing for something which can never be satisfied, only perpetuated until someone breaks the pattern.

If you are married today, consider it a gift. If you are single, consider that a gift as well. You can have the assurance of knowing that God will supply you with whatever you need to enjoy whatever state you are in.

Lastly and most importantly, we all live in the state of His grace. If you are suffering through a divorce, or a broken relationship, or the loss of a loved one; if you’re tired of being single, tired of being married, the way of help is always through Jesus. He always stands ready to give you a new start, a new season of hope.

There is always time for a second chance, a new start for each and every season.

God’s Pop Quizzes

There are times when we feel the Lord’s Presence very keenly, and there are those times when we just lean back on our trust because we know He’s there. Sometimes He likes to surprise us. I expect to feel the brush of the Holy Spirit when I am in prayer but I don’t always. And sometimes when I least expect Him, He’s there.

Sometimes He likes to give me a little pop quiz to see what my faith is made of.

There is something about the cloak of early morning blackness that makes God so much nearer. I had five minutes to spare this morning and I took it. Settling on the couch with my coffee, I sighed. “Oh, Lord, where would I be without You?” It was a one-liner prayer. Lately, I have been saying a lot of those.

Sometimes you just don’t want to use that many words so you let the silence say the rest. God knows.

He answered me immediately by filling up the space next to me. I remembered other mornings, other prayers. Prayers without which I never would have gotten up and out the door, said by dear ones all through my life. How have I been so rich? This one I will add to my collection to the others safely tucked away.

I love how God surprises with little times of refreshing. I certainly do nothing to deserve them, it’s always grace, only grace, simply grace…….It’s His unmerited favor that holds me close, that makes each day a gift worth unwrapping.

The Holy Spirit comes as comforter and draws us close to remind us that we are His children, and no matter what else we might feel is so pressing, so serious, so immediate.

It is this that matters most. That you took the time to rend me a little hole in clouds so that the Heavens could reach me. Just because it pleased You to do it.

Thank you, Precious Lord. Even though the CD that I wanted to listen to skipped on every song on my way to work it didn’t matter. Turns out I didn’t need it anyway. I coasted to work on clouds of Your great grace and unending mercy.

Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your justice is as solid as God’s mountains. Your decisions are as full of wisdom as the oceans are with water. You are concernedfor men and animals alike. How precious is your constant love, O God! All humanity takes refuge in the shadow of your wings. You feed them with blessings from your own table and let them drink from your rivers of delight. Psalm 36:5-8

The things we do to ourselves

It’s something I’ve been saying for a while. “We were not meant for this kind of stress.” By “this kind,” I mean the stress involved in simply doing what we have to do everyday. Our original existence in the garden was a far cry from getting on the freeway each day where as my Dad says, “Everyone thinks they’re a Nascar driver.” I would have to agree.

I work in a closed in space without windows for 12 hour shifts. There are about 50 or 60 of us packed in there, all sharing workstations. All talking at once, all coughing at once. We work in tight deadlines involving very expensive product which will result in computer chips; now a part of our every day existence. For my livelihood that is a good thing. For our stress level not so good.

As I said, tight deadlines, minute to minute. The other day I working with someone for 3 hours trying to give a reasonable explanation to the Captain of the Ship, yes that is what his title is, why we were 27 minutes late. 30 minutes and they want a detailed report which is documented with your name on it for all to see. Nobody wants that. With both of us researching, we came up with a reason why which satisfied him and excused the need for the report.

Needless to say, by the time our week is over we are happy just to sit on a bench and stare up at the sky for a while. I think I can speak for us all.

We all have different stresses. No one in this life is exempt. Even if I had a goat farm on a green hilly acre like I sometimes fantasize about, the cheese wouldn’t make itself. And the goats would sometimes get sick and then I would have to give them shots.

We all long for simplicity because deep inside, we know it’s our normal, natural state. It’s what God meant for us in the beginning.

After the long week, we all walked out to the parking lot and took a singular deep breath as if it were synchronized. It had been raining and the earth felt new again. We all had hope of a revitalizing weekend ahead. It was needed.

I have two more days off and I am doing what I can to slow down. I am slowing down with Jesus words in the mornings, and simple chores during the day. I was greedy and got all three books at the library yesterday. That’s my slowing down place. Surrounded by books has always made me feel at peace, what makes you feel peaceful?

Find it, do it. Even if it’s only for a few moments. And do it as if your life, and health and sanity depend on it, because it usually does.

Waiting in Hope, (even when you don’t feel very hopeful)

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

Saturday evening after work, I was drained. I was out of gas. I was trying to get home and traffic was crazy as usual. I left the freeway due to a detour and I was following the detour signs though I didn’t have to, I knew where I was. Sometimes it’s nice when you are forced off four lanes. The tension of the day was still knotted into my shoulders yet as I looked to my left I was hit with a jaw dropping sunset. Then I had one of those really deep theological sounding prayers that goes like this:

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, thank you.

And on the heels of that prayer the quiet thought came to rest deep in my soul, “How can I feel hopeless when I know the originator of that astounding light?”

Yet, we can. The world has a way of sapping our strength.

Yet in those times when the flame of our faith flickers low, we have the assurance of knowing the source behind that flame will never die. Our strength resides in the waiting and the trusting that He’s still there, and that the foundation we stand upon is firm. Our faith carries us even when we are not feeling particularly hopeful because we know our sense of hopelessness is temporary. And in the waiting, we grow stronger.

I took the exit that led me to Wal-Mart because I needed to get some things before I went home, and it was madness. I had forgotten that it was “Lost Dutchman Days” in Apache Junction this weekend. That means 20,000 extra people in our humble town. I think every single one of them was at Wal-Mart, along with me.

I steered through the crowds, weaving in and out like a person possessed. I ran while God whispered. He pointed out the daffodils poking their sunny heads out of the ugly black buckets. He knows they always make me smile. And He elbowed me to see the little stuffed cat that looked just like the one that my niece carried with her from the time she was very small…….it made me think of a sweet time in her life and mine.

The next morning was Sunday, and I still felt hung-over from the work-week. I gave myself a time-out. I tried to go out and pray and my prayers hit a Teflon ceiling. I sat in the silence aware of nothing but my own gloomy disposition. My candle flickered for nothing, it seemed.

Blowing on the embers, I dug out an old Praise CD from 1989, the ones you hardly hear anymore in church. I lit candles, I read and whiled away the day in my sweats. I finished a book and started another. It felt good. But I still didn’t feel hopeful. My Dad called, and told me about a wonderful testimony in church he heard. Three sisters baptized and the oldest girl, 18, had everyone in tears with her words.

He almost didn’t go. In fact, he took my Prayer Closet book out to his swing and out fell the two pages that Elaine found that sad day in the parking lot of the rest home. Those words, still giving him the hope that they gave her when she first found them. Read about it here.

And the angel said unto them, Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all the people: for there is born to you this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10,11

This is what gives us hope even when the world tries its best to snatch it away. This morning, I awoke to hope again. It never really went anywhere. It was just waiting for me to receive it again. Sometimes you just have to wait in the expectation of hope, even when you don’t feel very hopeful.

I Woke to Beauty

Once again, Mama dove is sitting in her place in the spiny cactus waiting for her baby. Seasons are really, renewed hope are they not? That even when life gets scary and you fill fear crawling up your back and life seems unstable that some things will go on as they should. I have been so concerned about my Mom’s health, and yet she is the one who always taught me to look for the beauty no matter what.

To look for the robin after the storm.

So today, I awoke after a fitful night to a world of beauty. The birds were singing, and the weather was glorious despite the fact that we have had almost no rain. Somehow the cactus will still manage to bloom. There is doom and gloom on the news because of the early fire season and while that is a real danger, I will choose today to look at what God wants me to see.

The wondrous cloak of clouds this morning amidst the backdrop of the doves and mockingbirds call……

The freshly tilled earth, seeds waiting to spring.

A best friend who stands behind me no matter what, ready to help, ready to pray, ready to do whatever is necessary in any situation.

Coffee, dark and rich and clouds of foam that cover my top lip as I sip luxurious cup after cup.

Last night I had a dream in which I saw Jesus approach a sick boy and take the sickness from him, I saw it. It was like a brief cameo shot in a movie but it was there just the same, just as real as if I really saw it.

He still rules and reigns and while there is no cure for sickness or aging, there is one for the death that really matters……..thanks to Him. That is why I will rejoice in the midst of sorrow and worry and pain and stress.

Wherefore we faint not; but though our outward man is decaying, yet our inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is for the moment, worketh for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I also invite you to go here to read about a friends beautiful words of awakening to hope. You will be blessed, I promise.

Something about a garden

Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed……Genesis 2:8

There is something about a garden whether big or small, intricate or humble that infuses us with hope. Even the birds seem to know it. Yesterday after E. had restructured the watering system and dug up all the old dirt she sowed the seed that will produce fresh tomatoes and watermelon and fresh spinach and okra. Yes okra. This Yankee girl has fallen in love with the slimy vegetable that seems to be the red-headed stepchild of the vegetable world to hear others talk. I believe it’s all how you cook it. Douse it with a bit of flour and cornmeal and fry it up hot and summer comes to life.

After the bubblers were turned on and everything was in good working order, the dove promptly hopped down between the furrows and started drinking from the fresh drips. It was almost like a confirmation that yes, this is a very good thing.

Gardening in the desert is a particular challenge which makes the victory all that much sweeter when you start to see those shoots pushing up through the ground that you’ve so carefully cultivated. The artichoke plants on the side of the house are flourishing. As of yet, no artichokes…….but if last year is any indication there will be more than we can eat.

This morning I went out and opened up the umbrella and had my coffee at the table. I arranged the gnome in his corner of the garden where he will keep watch….with his surfboard. He has a long wait for waves here in the desert. But he still hopes. A bit of my Aunt Esther also rests there in the form of a garden angel, a duplicate which E. made of the one she always had in her garden, which she loved. When I look at that angel, I think of her coming in after picking tomatoes, sweat rolling down her face which was easily as red as the tomatoes themselves.

When you think about it, gardens are our heritage, handed down to us by God himself, the Master Gardener. Sitting by the garden I feel my roots, it’s a bit like coming home again. I think about my Grandma and Grandpa who could grow anything……I wonder if they ever imagined me as they sowed those seeds. My Grandpa’s favorite hymn was “In the Garden.” I think of him strolling along in the early morning hours, He and Jesus. I like to think he prayed for me. I can see him now, sitting in God’s own garden, surrounded by eternal light.

As I sit here in this place, I feel his prayers. The earth waits in anticipation, now all we need is time. Someday I’ll join him, but until then I will visualize him here in this little place. He, and everyone who has ever planted a seed in hope of a harvest.

A garden is the hope of salvation, a resting place and a promise of better things to come.

The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing. Isaiah 51:3

I had a dream…….

I landed here in this place through no fault of my own, but because my body no longer cooperates with what I want it to do. The only thing is, nobody has told me the rules. There are people who skim in and out briskly. They give me things but they are not my things.

It is morning now and I miss my coffee. My kitchen. I miss having the whole pot if I want it. I am given a plastic cup with coffee but it’s lukewarm. And weak. I have never drank lukewarm in my whole life, and I never drank it from a plastic cup. I can’t heat it so I leave it……but then I think maybe if I don’t drink it now I may not get it again. Grimacing, I drink it down.

I remember the days when I was mobile. I never thought about getting up and walking across the room, I just did it. I try not to be terrified. This feeling of helplessness is new and strange and I feel trapped. Things are in disarray here……plates left on tables, and no one asks me where I want to sit at breakfast they just push me to the table. What’s more, they don’t give us anything to drink with our food. It’s difficult to eat with nothing to wash it down. I ask them, and they bring it but by then my food is no longer hot. I look around and see if everyone looks as bewildered as I feel.

A dish of ice-cream at lunch sits melted. She is sitting too far from the table and she misses her mouth. He is fiddling with his napkin, tearing it into bits like shrapnel it falls to the floor.

Where am I? Where is the place I used to call home?

I miss my dog and cat. I can’t think where they are now, it hurts too much. Tears course down and I wish I had a Kleenex but I use my sleeve. How I would give anything to feel their soft fur under my hand, see the love and loyalty in their eyes. How they would comfort me here.

I told someone I needed to go to the bathroom but that was hours ago. I have been reduced to wearing those adult diapers. The ones I used to see on those awful commercials. I never thought I would have to wear these. They are soaked through. It’s been hours and still they don’t come.

I dread the time I will need a shower. That’s the worst. I try not to think about it much. In my room are things I know. They spark memories, good ones. I surround myself with those now. I say a prayer of thanks for those. They are like pearls on a string and my mind caresses each one. For many here memory draws no comfort. They only have today. In a way, I envy them.

I watch the staff and see their anguished faces. I don’t imagine they make very much money here. I wonder what they go home to. They sit in corners and huddle up in groups peering into their phones. And yet, I find compassion in some of those eyes. They don’t think they will ever have to be in a place like this. And yet in their eyes I see a helplessness also. We are not so different. When it’s all said and done, we are all doing the best we can.

Night is falling and I dream and it’s long ago and my Dad comes and I can walk again. We walk far, past the grounds, through big buildings and streets and I am free again. He is my rescuer again, just like when I was very small.

I awake and I forget where I am. There are shadows in the corners and unfamiliar sounds. Bumps in the night.

I turn over to find my Bible on the nightstand which comes from home and a warmth washes over me. My life lies between the pages and it rushes out to greet me when I open it. I am home. And in my mind flows free with the songs I learned in church so long ago. I am so thankful they have never left me.

I am not alone. My eyes fill with tears at the wealth of this knowledge and my being is flooded with that realization. Joy finds me.

I am not alone. The Holy Spirit whispers and I want to shout it out!

I marvel that it’s possible that I have something to give here. Something to teach them. Something that sorrow and years and weakness can never take away. Someone to introduce them to.

I breathe a prayer. “Make me your instrument, Lord. Even in this place.”

Soon I will be going Home.

A dream I had last night sparked this post, and when I read my Sarah Young devotional today, I was amazed. Here is part of that reading:

Some of the greatest works of my Kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances.

He will give us rest…..it’s a promise.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Yesterday, I found a little island of peace in the middle of the day. I should have been doing things, I had a list after all, and still had several things that hadn’t been checked off. I felt like I was spinning my wheels……

digging a rut in the mud and going nowhere. Sometimes you just have to grab a bit of rest where and when you can. I decided to join the cats, they have perfected the art of relaxation.

Sometimes the cares of the world just become overwhelming and they crowd out the rest, I remembered what Jesus said about the seed that fell among the weeds…..who and what is crowding out your rest today?

“The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced.”

I was forgetting where my seed was planted……I was forgetting the soul rest that Jesus promises for every day.

As I layed there, listening to the sound of two cats breathing heavily in their sleep, I wondered where my own sense of rest had flown to recently. I wanted it back.

It is a promise you know, that rest that Jesus gives…….but sometimes we strive so hard for it that we miss it. Until we remember that all we really have to do is trust Him.

And let go.

By letting go, we open our hands and our hearts to receive it.

Keep trusting my friends. This life is not easy, but it is worth it. The rest will come when you least expect it.

Sometimes it comes in the form of a friend who comes quietly alongside and offers to lift part of the burden. Just a little spark of kindness can put back what everyday stress can so easily take away.

Join me today in expecting that rest at unexpected moments

This morning I wanted nothing better than to climb back in bed…..the sky was dark and the temptation of extra sleep was overwhelming. But as I headed to work, I was given a little unexpected helping of peace when I looked up at the big yellow moon rising on the other side of the world along with the sound of Yo-Yo Ma’s Cello filling the car.

I know where it came from.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 NLT

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6