A New Day

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I stepped outside to a muted world, the kind of silence you get with a quiet snowfall. Everything was cloaked in a damp fog. It was one of the things I missed in Arizona. I crept quietly out to the swing and two ghost cats followed. All I could see of them was the white patches on their fur.

Two owls volleyed back and forth, their calls echoing through the insulated air. I thought of Merton when he says, “The most wonderful moment of the day is that when creation in its innocence asks permission to “be” once again, as it did on the first morning that ever was.”

I juggled coffee as Weigumina settled herself precariously on my lap, as the swing rocked silently back and forth. There is something so Holy about being awake when the world has yet to stir.

I hear the rumble on the tracks, the vibration in the earth before the conductor signals a train is passing through. And I wonder about the person sitting in that seat, what their hopes and dreams are. 

What do they think as they roar through town after town. Is there always just a little fear of who or what might be ahead on the tracks?

The birch trees across the yard stand like sentinels, witnesses to this new morning. A jet passes overhead. The world is beginning to wake and I think about all the lives on that plane. Each life representing a set of hopes, dreams, joys, fears. All wrapped up in a bundle of humanity.

The owls continue their conversation, one tone higher than the other. This one small beauty represents a grand design. There is so much more behind it. A sixteen year old student of astronomy just found another planet much bigger than our earth.

We have barely scraped the surface of God’s creation. And yet He has spoken. He has spoken of His love for us. We can know Him through the blueprint of His nature. 


Happy New Year!

We celebrated it as usual at Moss Landing, a little fishing village on the Pacific Coast. It’s the absolute best place to start fresh in my view. Something about standing on the shore listening, watching with your eyes and ears as well as your heart makes it easier to leave the previous year behind and have hope for the year ahead.

Every year is a bit different, and this year was even more so with the roaring of a bulldozer silhouetted against the sky. Something about taking sand and silt out of the marina. We never quite got a good explanation. We could walk south and still be out of range of the sight and sound of it, and hear the foghorn.

This year it was harder to let my worry go and I never did entirely, but we were blessed with 4 days of great weather and I was so thankful for that. Mom’s health issues right now are tethered to my heart. It’s a learning process, the letting go. I am so very thankful I have a best friend who is so in tune to me and my moods. She understands the emotional roller coaster better than anyone having gone through it with her Mom.

Mr. Briggs was a champ on the road. At 19 he is still a perfect cat. We got him fresh shrimp from Phil’s and once we were settled he was one happy cat. The camp host cats Moxey and Soxie were still there to greet us as well. All in all, it was a wonderful start to 2020.

I continue the battle with extra weight. Last year it was 10 pounds, now it’s 15. I gave up the gym membership due to break-ins at the parking lot there. I am trying to get out and walk more, increase my steps. I have yet to brave the scale, I know that’s what would really give me the impetus I need. Soon.

On school break I acquired piles of books from the library that made me very happy. I heartily recommend the new one by Mitch Albom, “Finding Chika” (have Kleenex handy.) I will continue to write about prayer, which is what started this whole blog way back in 2009. Just keep praying, folks. Even if you aren’t sure anyone is listening.

I was given a gift long ago. I can’t even remember when, but I know my Mom probably had something to do with it. She has prayed for me ever since I was born. I have always known God is listening. What a gift! I don’t ever say it in a boastful way because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. 

He loves you. Whoever you are, whatever you’ve done. Invite Him in to your life and see what happens. Leave your heart, eyes and ears open! And Happy New Year to you faithful souls still hanging in here with me. Bless you.

A Rescue Story

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I’ll never forget the first time I saw him. As we rounded the corner of the medical complex to go in, there he was. The smallest kitten, no bigger than a minute, all alone. He was scared and crouched behind a shrub. A lady in clacking heels was nearby with a small box. She said, “I’ve been trying to catch it for hours.” I looked at Elaine who sighed big time because she knew I could never leave the situation alone. She proceeded to the lab to get her blood work with a sense of foreboding that the day had just taken a turn and somehow she would be involved. I seem to find kittens and cats everywhere. It’s not like I try.

Anyway, this office lady was on her break and clutching this box to put the little guy in. I crouched down quietly and held my hand out for him to smell and he walked right up to me. My heart did a flip as he nuzzled against my neck and purred. She looked on in amazement and said, “I am taking him to the pound to see if they will take him.” I said, “Let me make a call.”

We exchanged phone information and I told her I would wait right there. In a small panic I called one of the patron saints of Animal Friends Connection, Marion. She told me that if I could keep him a few days she would see that he got into the vet. It was no surprise to me when she came back with the little guy in the box to tell me they had no room at the local pound.

I put him in a carrier and off we went to my Mom and Dad’s house where I explained the situation. I was able to keep him there two days. My Mom has some memory issues and she was upset by the little guy’s presence. She kept asking why the cat was here and who it belonged to. The Angels at AFC accepted him into their community. I had named him Stash by that time for his brown mustache. He promptly went to the vet where he was treated for several things. I gave them money to help with his care. I was already hopelessly attached.

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I went to visit him in quarantine after the vet. He was being treated for several things common to kittens left to fend for themselves. He peered out through the cage at me but I couldn’t hold him. My heart ached and ached until finally he was taken out of quarantine and brought into the shelter where I could go and visit. All the shelter workers were sure I would adopt him and in my heart he was already mine. And yet, I had a elder cat at home who had been a faithful friend for 19 years and I didn’t know how he would react to a kitten. I had done that in the past with disastrous results.

When you volunteer at a shelter, this is the risk you take. You wonder when you will meet “The One” who fully captures your heart. You tell yourself the rewards outweigh everything else and really, they do. But now it had happened to me. And every day I wrestled.

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Every time I went to the shelter I wondered if I could resist bring Stashie home. Each time, after I loved on all the other cats, I spent extra time cuddling him and holding him close. Maybe it was my imagination that he remembered me as he nuzzled my ears. But maybe it wasn’t. I cried over him. One particular time coming home from the shelter Elaine had her phone ready to video his homecoming. But in the end, I just couldn’t do it.

Our Briggs has been so loyal for so many years, and his health is not the best. I could not bring myself to subject him to a new cat friend. I know me, if he rejected him and was miserable, I wouldn’t give Stashie back, I would deal with it and it wouldn’t be fair to either one. So for now I go visit, and I’m praying for the best home for him. He is a great cat. He doesn’t try to get away when I pick him up. I can hold his paws and he doesn’t mind.

For now, it’s a rescue story. Soon, I hope it will be an adoption story. Maybe he’ll even get adopted with a special friend to grow up with. The good folks at Animal Friends Connection continue to care for Stash and all the other doggies and kitties who will someday find forever homes. And I am so grateful for all they do.

The Best News Ever

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It’s the same greeting every year and though circumstances change, sometimes greatly and not for the better, it’s always good news. In fact, it’s the best possible news for the human race. Christ came. He shrunk Himself down to our lowly level to this ruined planet to give hope to us all. He grew in wisdom and stature as the Bible says and he proceeded to confound the Religious community of the day as His message went public.

And yet everyone, everywhere was drawn to Him. He lived a flawless life and died the worst kind of death and rose again the third day so that we could be together with the Holy Trinity of Creation in a perfect world…….someday.

No matter what you’re going through right now friends, that is cause for real JOY. Whatever this life hands us, we can succeed, we can persevere, we can hope because of something much better coming.

That’s a promise from God, and God’s word is true. I wonder, so many times, why I pass people by day after day and keep this message from them? How can I keep from telling them? It confounds me about myself. And yet, I can do this, I can write it. And write it I will, and if it resonates with just one person it will be enough.

Merry Christmas from my humble Prayer Closet. Thank you to the faithful who still welcome these words. I pray for you all.

In Jesus name, In Jesus joy, Lori

Extraordinary Grace


This is a thankful post on a day we celebrate things like that. It’s about a regular day, yesterday, which was just about perfect. To start, I was off work and the anticipation of having five days off contributed to a general feeling of well being. That in itself is something to give thanks for. In addition we had a real honest to goodness storm with rain and wind. It wreaked havoc with leaves, branches and debris in its wake, but the air was fresh and clean and I took deep life-giving breaths as I stood on the river bank.

The river rolled by looking so smooth and pure I had to stop and say what I call an “awe” prayer. It’s the kind of prayer that is more just an exclamation of exultant joy at the beauty that God has given us. The yard was a mess. I dragged a few big branches to the river’s edge and threw them in. I took a few photos and then went back up our little hill to the Motorhome.

The floor Elaine put in looks fantastic, gives it a whole new look. It was a real pleasure to see that ugly linoleum gone. I found a classical Christmas station which was very pretty but was a bit melancholy so I switched it to Smooth Jazz Christmas and that added to the general feeling of well-being.

After we got ready to tackle items on our list, we went to breakfast at the Hollywood cafe and as usual the staff was wonderful and the food was excellent. We had Joe’s special which was scrambled eggs with hamburger, cheese, fresh spinach with hash browns and toast. We stopped by the Animal Shelter to measure the shelf for the carpet for Coco. Last time I was there he had a terrible trying to get a grip on the slick shelf.

After that we got all the stuff on our list including baseboards to finish off the floor. We had a great time getting everything on our list. I saw some truly miserable people at the grocery store which made me sad for them. I have been where they are.

There was a time not so long ago where I was unmoved by everything. It was a tough time. I didn’t care about reading, nature, anything that usually lifted my spirits. If not for Elaine (and lots of prayer) I don’t know what I would have done. She patiently told me to snap out of it and that made me laugh despite myself. Seriously though, it took lots of prayer, counseling and “motoring” through it. And the Doctor put me on a low dose of Zoloft, which I still take. There may be a time when it’s right to go off of it, but for now it’s working for me.

I guess that’s why I am so grateful for the good days. I remember the despair. There are many more good days now and I enjoy going to the library once again. People wonder why I go every week, but it’s like a tonic to me, even with all the homeless hanging around there. I am happy books make me happy again.

The end of the day had a bit of drama but nothing that tarnished the day for me. The opportunity presented itself to give Mom a hug and that was appreciated. We ended the day with a bit of Amaretto, a yearly Christmas treat. I fell asleep to the sound of rain again. It was marvelous.

It put me in mind of another day a long time ago when Mom and I had a good day together and we were listening to Susan Boyle sing “A Perfect Day.” Mom said, “This was a perfect day.” I told her, yes indeed, it was. 

It lives in my memory, and so will this day. I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving from my humble Prayer Closet.

Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night. Rainer Maria Rilke

I’m Still Here

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He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4 

I remember the times when remembering brought comfort. Now my memories have turned against me; they remind me of all I have misplaced.  Once they were sweet traveling companions on my journey. The good ones I would turn over and over like a worn river stone, keeping them close.

Hold me like one of those well worn stones, Lord

Once my mind was clear and sure, now it’s a labyrinthian nightmare. I used to know where I was in my world and where I was going, and now the path is hidden from view. I can’t seem to find my way. I’m not myself. I don’t recognize the person I have become and yet I still know who I used to be. That’s the worst part. 

But this I do remember, this thought holds me:

You are all around me on every side; you protect me with your power. Your knowledge of me is too deep; it is beyond my understanding. Psalm 139:5,6

Help me remember who I am in You Lord. Thank you for holding my place in line until I find my way home.

Remember when you loved me? Remember when you didn’t want to escape who I’ve become? I still love, I’m still here, I’m still me. Do you hear me? Do you see my desperation when I try to follow the thread of conversation? I ask questions because I’m trying to find my way back. I’m lost in my own life. It has become easier not to talk, and yet I am so lonesome for the conversations we used to have. I am quiet on the outside and shouting on the inside. 

I feel guilty all the time because I can see you get frustrated and I don’t blame you. That’s why I ask over and over if I said or did something wrong. Because I feel wrong. Everything feels wrong and I feel bad for you. Once I was the one who held our world together, made it all work. I was the encourager, the cheer coach, the mender of clothes and hearts and skinned knees. The engine that could. 

There were days I couldn’t keep from singing. Now I spend my days looking for familiar landmarks. I long for safety. One thing remains the same. Immersed in His Grace, I find comfort knowing that my Father has not left me. He has kept the treasure of who I used to be. He holds me fast even when I can barely hang onto myself. 

“We will too Mom, we will too.”

This is dedicated to you, Mom. You are still our anchor. 

Cherish the firsts and inbetweens my friends, because you never know when they will become the lasts.

Genesis 1:5

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“God called the light “day” and the darkness “night.” And evening passed and morning came, marking the first day.” Genesis 1:5

This morning I awoke surrounded by darkness with only a faint promise of dawn in the sky. I heard two owls calling to each other and recognizing this as a magic moment, I hastily fed cats (first and always first) and then made coffee.

It was chilly so I grabbed “wooly” as I call it. The big guns when it’s cold, the LLBean terry. I fully intended to pray down by the river in the Prayer Closet but as I sat there with my steaming mug I realized the owls were up here, not down there.

I sat on the Motorhome step transfixed and thankful that I could partake of a little miracle. I listened to the symphony as the staccato calls volleyed back and forth, one a slightly higher tone than the other. I thought once again about the dawn of creation and how perfect it all must have been. I sat and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving right there on that little metal retractable step. Holiness happens everywhere. 

I marvel that I even know the One who created all this. It’s nothing I did, and that fills me with an even bigger sense of gratitude. The fact that we love Him only because He first loved us is a testimony to His matchless Grace.

As the light increased, other birds joined in the chorus. A train rolled through town with a melancholy wail. The owl pair dispersed further down by the river and I followed. They settled in the trees across the river and I saw one high up in the trees. The sky was leaking pink from the Heavens. The owl swooped over to a neighboring tree, startling and scattering the vultures gathered there. Then he (or she) flew back over. After that I only heard the one call.

We are witnesses and fellow partakers of all that God has created, my friends. And it’s all a prayer of Praise from the vast storehouse of His nature. As this world gets louder and louder, before the TV and the talking heads, and the traffic and the insanity: 

Turn Him up, and everything else out. Feel problems slip away just for a moment……..throw the door wide open to let the free air of sanity and His peace back in. 

Prayer is what happens when we’re not trying to be eloquent…….just speaking the simple language of thanksgiving for whom we live and move and have our being. 

A bit later I pulled on sweats and drove to the lake and walked along the shore as light filled the sky.

It’s mornings like this I feel blessed beyond measure. It’s not easy living in an RV at times. I feel an ache in my heart when I look at the trailer that holds all the stuff that used to fill our home. Then again, I feel incredibly grateful to be here right now.

And right now this moment? It’s all good.