God’s Pop Quizzes

There are times when we feel the Lord’s Presence very keenly, and there are those times when we just lean back on our trust because we know He’s there. Sometimes He likes to surprise us. I expect to feel the brush of the Holy Spirit when I am in prayer but I don’t always. And sometimes when I least expect Him, He’s there.

Sometimes He likes to give me a little pop quiz to see what my faith is made of.

There is something about the cloak of early morning blackness that makes God so much nearer. I had five minutes to spare this morning and I took it. Settling on the couch with my coffee, I sighed. “Oh, Lord, where would I be without You?” It was a one-liner prayer. Lately, I have been saying a lot of those.

Sometimes you just don’t want to use that many words so you let the silence say the rest. God knows.

He answered me immediately by filling up the space next to me. I remembered other mornings, other prayers. Prayers without which I never would have gotten up and out the door, said by dear ones all through my life. How have I been so rich? This one I will add to my collection to the others safely tucked away.

I love how God surprises with little times of refreshing. I certainly do nothing to deserve them, it’s always grace, only grace, simply grace…….It’s His unmerited favor that holds me close, that makes each day a gift worth unwrapping.

The Holy Spirit comes as comforter and draws us close to remind us that we are His children, and no matter what else we might feel is so pressing, so serious, so immediate.

It is this that matters most. That you took the time to rend me a little hole in clouds so that the Heavens could reach me. Just because it pleased You to do it.

Thank you, Precious Lord. Even though the CD that I wanted to listen to skipped on every song on my way to work it didn’t matter. Turns out I didn’t need it anyway. I coasted to work on clouds of Your great grace and unending mercy.

Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your justice is as solid as God’s mountains. Your decisions are as full of wisdom as the oceans are with water. You are concernedfor men and animals alike. How precious is your constant love, O God! All humanity takes refuge in the shadow of your wings. You feed them with blessings from your own table and let them drink from your rivers of delight. Psalm 36:5-8

The things we do to ourselves

It’s something I’ve been saying for a while. “We were not meant for this kind of stress.” By “this kind,” I mean the stress involved in simply doing what we have to do everyday. Our original existence in the garden was a far cry from getting on the freeway each day where as my Dad says, “Everyone thinks they’re a Nascar driver.” I would have to agree.

I work in a closed in space without windows for 12 hour shifts. There are about 50 or 60 of us packed in there, all sharing workstations. All talking at once, all coughing at once. We work in tight deadlines involving very expensive product which will result in computer chips; now a part of our every day existence. For my livelihood that is a good thing. For our stress level not so good.

As I said, tight deadlines, minute to minute. The other day I working with someone for 3 hours trying to give a reasonable explanation to the Captain of the Ship, yes that is what his title is, why we were 27 minutes late. 30 minutes and they want a detailed report which is documented with your name on it for all to see. Nobody wants that. With both of us researching, we came up with a reason why which satisfied him and excused the need for the report.

Needless to say, by the time our week is over we are happy just to sit on a bench and stare up at the sky for a while. I think I can speak for us all.

We all have different stresses. No one in this life is exempt. Even if I had a goat farm on a green hilly acre like I sometimes fantasize about, the cheese wouldn’t make itself. And the goats would sometimes get sick and then I would have to give them shots.

We all long for simplicity because deep inside, we know it’s our normal, natural state. It’s what God meant for us in the beginning.

After the long week, we all walked out to the parking lot and took a singular deep breath as if it were synchronized. It had been raining and the earth felt new again. We all had hope of a revitalizing weekend ahead. It was needed.

I have two more days off and I am doing what I can to slow down. I am slowing down with Jesus words in the mornings, and simple chores during the day. I was greedy and got all three books at the library yesterday. That’s my slowing down place. Surrounded by books has always made me feel at peace, what makes you feel peaceful?

Find it, do it. Even if it’s only for a few moments. And do it as if your life, and health and sanity depend on it, because it usually does.

Waiting in Hope, (even when you don’t feel very hopeful)

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

Saturday evening after work, I was drained. I was out of gas. I was trying to get home and traffic was crazy as usual. I left the freeway due to a detour and I was following the detour signs though I didn’t have to, I knew where I was. Sometimes it’s nice when you are forced off four lanes. The tension of the day was still knotted into my shoulders yet as I looked to my left I was hit with a jaw dropping sunset. Then I had one of those really deep theological sounding prayers that goes like this:

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, thank you.

And on the heels of that prayer the quiet thought came to rest deep in my soul, “How can I feel hopeless when I know the originator of that astounding light?”

Yet, we can. The world has a way of sapping our strength.

Yet in those times when the flame of our faith flickers low, we have the assurance of knowing the source behind that flame will never die. Our strength resides in the waiting and the trusting that He’s still there, and that the foundation we stand upon is firm. Our faith carries us even when we are not feeling particularly hopeful because we know our sense of hopelessness is temporary. And in the waiting, we grow stronger.

I took the exit that led me to Wal-Mart because I needed to get some things before I went home, and it was madness. I had forgotten that it was “Lost Dutchman Days” in Apache Junction this weekend. That means 20,000 extra people in our humble town. I think every single one of them was at Wal-Mart, along with me.

I steered through the crowds, weaving in and out like a person possessed. I ran while God whispered. He pointed out the daffodils poking their sunny heads out of the ugly black buckets. He knows they always make me smile. And He elbowed me to see the little stuffed cat that looked just like the one that my niece carried with her from the time she was very small…….it made me think of a sweet time in her life and mine.

The next morning was Sunday, and I still felt hung-over from the work-week. I gave myself a time-out. I tried to go out and pray and my prayers hit a Teflon ceiling. I sat in the silence aware of nothing but my own gloomy disposition. My candle flickered for nothing, it seemed.

Blowing on the embers, I dug out an old Praise CD from 1989, the ones you hardly hear anymore in church. I lit candles, I read and whiled away the day in my sweats. I finished a book and started another. It felt good. But I still didn’t feel hopeful. My Dad called, and told me about a wonderful testimony in church he heard. Three sisters baptized and the oldest girl, 18, had everyone in tears with her words.

He almost didn’t go. In fact, he took my Prayer Closet book out to his swing and out fell the two pages that Elaine found that sad day in the parking lot of the rest home. Those words, still giving him the hope that they gave her when she first found them. Read about it here.

And the angel said unto them, Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all the people: for there is born to you this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10,11

This is what gives us hope even when the world tries its best to snatch it away. This morning, I awoke to hope again. It never really went anywhere. It was just waiting for me to receive it again. Sometimes you just have to wait in the expectation of hope, even when you don’t feel very hopeful.

I Woke to Beauty

Once again, Mama dove is sitting in her place in the spiny cactus waiting for her baby. Seasons are really, renewed hope are they not? That even when life gets scary and you fill fear crawling up your back and life seems unstable that some things will go on as they should. I have been so concerned about my Mom’s health, and yet she is the one who always taught me to look for the beauty no matter what.

To look for the robin after the storm.

So today, I awoke after a fitful night to a world of beauty. The birds were singing, and the weather was glorious despite the fact that we have had almost no rain. Somehow the cactus will still manage to bloom. There is doom and gloom on the news because of the early fire season and while that is a real danger, I will choose today to look at what God wants me to see.

The wondrous cloak of clouds this morning amidst the backdrop of the doves and mockingbirds call……

The freshly tilled earth, seeds waiting to spring.

A best friend who stands behind me no matter what, ready to help, ready to pray, ready to do whatever is necessary in any situation.

Coffee, dark and rich and clouds of foam that cover my top lip as I sip luxurious cup after cup.

Last night I had a dream in which I saw Jesus approach a sick boy and take the sickness from him, I saw it. It was like a brief cameo shot in a movie but it was there just the same, just as real as if I really saw it.

He still rules and reigns and while there is no cure for sickness or aging, there is one for the death that really matters……..thanks to Him. That is why I will rejoice in the midst of sorrow and worry and pain and stress.

Wherefore we faint not; but though our outward man is decaying, yet our inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is for the moment, worketh for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I also invite you to go here to read about a friends beautiful words of awakening to hope. You will be blessed, I promise.

Something about a garden

Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed……Genesis 2:8

There is something about a garden whether big or small, intricate or humble that infuses us with hope. Even the birds seem to know it. Yesterday after E. had restructured the watering system and dug up all the old dirt she sowed the seed that will produce fresh tomatoes and watermelon and fresh spinach and okra. Yes okra. This Yankee girl has fallen in love with the slimy vegetable that seems to be the red-headed stepchild of the vegetable world to hear others talk. I believe it’s all how you cook it. Douse it with a bit of flour and cornmeal and fry it up hot and summer comes to life.

After the bubblers were turned on and everything was in good working order, the dove promptly hopped down between the furrows and started drinking from the fresh drips. It was almost like a confirmation that yes, this is a very good thing.

Gardening in the desert is a particular challenge which makes the victory all that much sweeter when you start to see those shoots pushing up through the ground that you’ve so carefully cultivated. The artichoke plants on the side of the house are flourishing. As of yet, no artichokes…….but if last year is any indication there will be more than we can eat.

This morning I went out and opened up the umbrella and had my coffee at the table. I arranged the gnome in his corner of the garden where he will keep watch….with his surfboard. He has a long wait for waves here in the desert. But he still hopes. A bit of my Aunt Esther also rests there in the form of a garden angel, a duplicate which E. made of the one she always had in her garden, which she loved. When I look at that angel, I think of her coming in after picking tomatoes, sweat rolling down her face which was easily as red as the tomatoes themselves.

When you think about it, gardens are our heritage, handed down to us by God himself, the Master Gardener. Sitting by the garden I feel my roots, it’s a bit like coming home again. I think about my Grandma and Grandpa who could grow anything……I wonder if they ever imagined me as they sowed those seeds. My Grandpa’s favorite hymn was “In the Garden.” I think of him strolling along in the early morning hours, He and Jesus. I like to think he prayed for me. I can see him now, sitting in God’s own garden, surrounded by eternal light.

As I sit here in this place, I feel his prayers. The earth waits in anticipation, now all we need is time. Someday I’ll join him, but until then I will visualize him here in this little place. He, and everyone who has ever planted a seed in hope of a harvest.

A garden is the hope of salvation, a resting place and a promise of better things to come.

The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing. Isaiah 51:3

I had a dream…….

I landed here in this place through no fault of my own, but because my body no longer cooperates with what I want it to do. The only thing is, nobody has told me the rules. There are people who skim in and out briskly. They give me things but they are not my things.

It is morning now and I miss my coffee. My kitchen. I miss having the whole pot if I want it. I am given a plastic cup with coffee but it’s lukewarm. And weak. I have never drank lukewarm in my whole life, and I never drank it from a plastic cup. I can’t heat it so I leave it……but then I think maybe if I don’t drink it now I may not get it again. Grimacing, I drink it down.

I remember the days when I was mobile. I never thought about getting up and walking across the room, I just did it. I try not to be terrified. This feeling of helplessness is new and strange and I feel trapped. Things are in disarray here……plates left on tables, and no one asks me where I want to sit at breakfast they just push me to the table. What’s more, they don’t give us anything to drink with our food. It’s difficult to eat with nothing to wash it down. I ask them, and they bring it but by then my food is no longer hot. I look around and see if everyone looks as bewildered as I feel.

A dish of ice-cream at lunch sits melted. She is sitting too far from the table and she misses her mouth. He is fiddling with his napkin, tearing it into bits like shrapnel it falls to the floor.

Where am I? Where is the place I used to call home?

I miss my dog and cat. I can’t think where they are now, it hurts too much. Tears course down and I wish I had a Kleenex but I use my sleeve. How I would give anything to feel their soft fur under my hand, see the love and loyalty in their eyes. How they would comfort me here.

I told someone I needed to go to the bathroom but that was hours ago. I have been reduced to wearing those adult diapers. The ones I used to see on those awful commercials. I never thought I would have to wear these. They are soaked through. It’s been hours and still they don’t come.

I dread the time I will need a shower. That’s the worst. I try not to think about it much. In my room are things I know. They spark memories, good ones. I surround myself with those now. I say a prayer of thanks for those. They are like pearls on a string and my mind caresses each one. For many here memory draws no comfort. They only have today. In a way, I envy them.

I watch the staff and see their anguished faces. I don’t imagine they make very much money here. I wonder what they go home to. They sit in corners and huddle up in groups peering into their phones. And yet, I find compassion in some of those eyes. They don’t think they will ever have to be in a place like this. And yet in their eyes I see a helplessness also. We are not so different. When it’s all said and done, we are all doing the best we can.

Night is falling and I dream and it’s long ago and my Dad comes and I can walk again. We walk far, past the grounds, through big buildings and streets and I am free again. He is my rescuer again, just like when I was very small.

I awake and I forget where I am. There are shadows in the corners and unfamiliar sounds. Bumps in the night.

I turn over to find my Bible on the nightstand which comes from home and a warmth washes over me. My life lies between the pages and it rushes out to greet me when I open it. I am home. And in my mind flows free with the songs I learned in church so long ago. I am so thankful they have never left me.

I am not alone. My eyes fill with tears at the wealth of this knowledge and my being is flooded with that realization. Joy finds me.

I am not alone. The Holy Spirit whispers and I want to shout it out!

I marvel that it’s possible that I have something to give here. Something to teach them. Something that sorrow and years and weakness can never take away. Someone to introduce them to.

I breathe a prayer. “Make me your instrument, Lord. Even in this place.”

Soon I will be going Home.

A dream I had last night sparked this post, and when I read my Sarah Young devotional today, I was amazed. Here is part of that reading:

Some of the greatest works of my Kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances.

He will give us rest…..it’s a promise.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Yesterday, I found a little island of peace in the middle of the day. I should have been doing things, I had a list after all, and still had several things that hadn’t been checked off. I felt like I was spinning my wheels……

digging a rut in the mud and going nowhere. Sometimes you just have to grab a bit of rest where and when you can. I decided to join the cats, they have perfected the art of relaxation.

Sometimes the cares of the world just become overwhelming and they crowd out the rest, I remembered what Jesus said about the seed that fell among the weeds…..who and what is crowding out your rest today?

“The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced.”

I was forgetting where my seed was planted……I was forgetting the soul rest that Jesus promises for every day.

As I layed there, listening to the sound of two cats breathing heavily in their sleep, I wondered where my own sense of rest had flown to recently. I wanted it back.

It is a promise you know, that rest that Jesus gives…….but sometimes we strive so hard for it that we miss it. Until we remember that all we really have to do is trust Him.

And let go.

By letting go, we open our hands and our hearts to receive it.

Keep trusting my friends. This life is not easy, but it is worth it. The rest will come when you least expect it.

Sometimes it comes in the form of a friend who comes quietly alongside and offers to lift part of the burden. Just a little spark of kindness can put back what everyday stress can so easily take away.

Join me today in expecting that rest at unexpected moments

This morning I wanted nothing better than to climb back in bed…..the sky was dark and the temptation of extra sleep was overwhelming. But as I headed to work, I was given a little unexpected helping of peace when I looked up at the big yellow moon rising on the other side of the world along with the sound of Yo-Yo Ma’s Cello filling the car.

I know where it came from.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 NLT

A little bit Mary, a little bit Martha

But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 NLT

I got caught in a “Martha” moment in the middle of prayer this morning. I started praying for my Mom, who has not been feeling well. From that, my mind spun ahead to her Birthday which is next month. I started out a lot like Mary, just sitting at Jesus feet enjoying His presence. Then before I even realized it my mind took off and spiraled into Martha territory. Here’s a bit of how my prayer went:

“Thank you Lord for this moment, these precious times with you. I lift up my Mom today in prayer and ask that you give her strength and healing……” (Mary)

I hope she is well enough for the party. I remember my Aunt Esther dying right after her 80th. I wonder how much longer I have with Mom……I don’t want to think about it. She is 84 after all……I wonder when I can get into the clubhouse to decorate? I wonder what I should put on the tables? I need to send invitations out soon…..Oh, I know just where I will get them. I need to get all the addresses…….what will people want to drink? What about food? Flowers? I hope we can go to church that morning because I hardly ever get to do that with them…..what road was it that I turned on last to get there? Maybe I could print up the story about the red shoes and work that into her party somehow…………(Martha)

Whoa, I just tired myself out. And where did Jesus go anyway?

Over and over again, God uses me to demonstrate that He indeed does have a sense of humor. Thankfully He also has a ready supply of forgiveness. Thank you, Lord…..and:

Forgive me, for my Martha heart. Help me always to choose you, the better part. Though there are times when we need to charge in and get things done, there are also times when it’s just as necessary to be still before you and just enjoy your Presence. And while I am scurrying around like Martha, checking things off my list, help me to have the peace of Mary in my heart. Amen.

While Martha and Mary had different personalities and ways of expressing their love, it’s clear that they both loved Jesus and He loved both of them.

Live in His love today!

When Faith Becomes Real

When life comes crashing down or you come crashing into it, you have to decide that ultimately, Christianity is much more than raising your hand in church “with every eye closed and every head bowed.” It’s much more than inviting Jesus to live in your heart, more than flannel board stories you learned in Sunday School.

Sometimes, the truth is: Jesus is not warm and fuzzy. He is gritty, hard and real, and so is the path He invites us to tread. When you have no strength left and the sun is blocked by a pile of problems that feel like they are stacked as tall as Everest, it is then that your faith becomes real.

Ultimately, you come to the realization that while you did say yes to Him at one point, long before that He made the first move at the dawn of creation when the Trinity formed a huddle and talked about the cross. We didn’t choose Him, He chose us when He decided to come and redeem us.“You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.” John 15:16

If you are like me, you spend lots of time life mulling that over. The rest of your life, really. And hopefully it’s when the light starts to dawn and your life begins to look different. You realize just a little bit of what it really cost Jesus. Just enough that it’s almost paralyzing.

You realize that how you treat people becomes how you treat Jesus and that’s really scary because you, like me, realize how far you still have to go. Sometimes, when I lay awake at night I think that maybe I don’t have what it takes to follow Him, to do whatever He asks.

I wonder why I get to lay in a warm bed when there are people shivering in the streets. The wondering makes me think how sad God must feel to see all the suffering He sees, while He waits to see which one of His kids will step up. I pray, “Bless those that go…..” while being thankful He’s not calling me, or is He?

Far too many times I belly up to the altar of comfort and security. I mix up my own custom batch of pre-packaged Christianity which doesn’t always line up with the Biblical version and hope it’s enough.

Thankfully, He is big enough to handle my cowardly times, which are many. Those times I keep silent when I should speak up. And He’s there for those two in the morning times when I can’t sleep and the cats know I’m restless so they gather close around me and purr. TImes like this morning when for the life of me, I couldn’t remember the next line of the 23rd Psalm, even though I know it by heart.

His love is big enough to handle a person like me who can have a mini crisis of faith at 2 in the morning and forget all about it the next day.

He gets me, because He made me. And nothing I do surprises Him. And He loves me anyway.

Today, I remembered this song we used to sing in church and it fit what I was struggling to put into words today. Maybe you identify with it too. Because it amazes me how His love is big enough to cover everything. Every little part of you and me.

His love is deep, His love is wide
And it covers us
His love is fierce, His love is strong
It’s furious
His love is sweet, His love is wild
And it’s waking hearts to life…….

“Furious” Jeremy Riddle

Do you have a Prayer request?

Imagine, if you will. Sitting quietly in this spot, perhaps in that patch of sunlight.

Now breathe out…….and relax. Let the cares of the world drop off for just this moment.

What would you say if you bowed your head?

What peace would you wish for?

What is stirring in your mind……

Your heart…..

The depths of your soul.

Maybe it’s something you’ve never told anyone else.

Tell God……even though He already knows what it is.

Tell God….even if you are not sure God is.

Or if He even exists.

Trust me, He does.

And He wants to hear everything that’s on your heart.

He will never force His way in.

And He will never beat down the door of your heart,

But He will knock softly and relentlessly……

with love.

Do you have a prayer request today? Please feel free to leave it in the comments. I will put you on my list. I know you are there. I see the messages saying that you just started following my blog. It always makes me happy, knowing you are there. Maybe you have been here awhile now. I just want you to know I appreciate you.

Each and every one of you.

If you don’t want to leave the actual request in the comments. Leave your email in the comments and I will drop you a line.

We all need prayer.

In Him, we live and move and have our being………Lori

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6