Recalculating……..

He whispered, “Remember the miracle.” And just then, I did.

Sometimes, well, all the time, God has to remind me to slow down. My mind leaps ahead to places He never intended it to go and jumps way too far ahead of everything else. I have to recalculate. It’s like when your GPS tells you to go a certain way, but you don’t want to go that way, so you go a different direction and then that voice: “Recalculating, recalculating, recalculating……..” Until it decides, “Hey I guess they really are going to go that way.”

This especially happens to me as it gets closer to Christmas, sometime around the 11th of December. I realize I haven’t checked nearly enough off that list I have in my head. And suddenly, my mind has veered off the path and careening wildly down a slippery slope. Someone somewhere hit a panic button and I find myself in stressful, chaotic, turbulent mode instead of where I was a week ago in quiet, calm, advent reflective mode.

So today, I am recalculating.

I will seek first the Kingdom. I will remember what He whispered about the miracle. Because we tend to forget so quickly.

Thank you, Lord for slowing me down again. Join me in pause mode, here.

I am getting small today again folks.

Take a moment to pray and thank Him for everything He is and everything He has done in your life……just yesterday.

“For a long time I have kept silent,
I have been quiet and held myself back.
But now, like a woman in childbirth,
I cry out, I gasp and pant.
I will lay waste the mountains and hills
and dry up all their vegetation;
I will turn rivers into islands
and dry up the pools.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.

But those who trust in idols: (my words in bold)

(money, possessions, tasks, perfectionism, electronic gadgets, knowledge, power, education, self-reliance)
who say to images, ‘You are our gods,’
will be turned back in utter shame.

Isaiah 42: 14-17

Image from creative commons images, some rights reserved by Gabrielle Ludlow

When you lose a faithful friend

My post today is dedicated to a very special lady whom I met on Facebook. She regularly uplifts me with the things she posts there. She goes by the name “Sam Bobtail” but that is not her real name. It is her dog’s name she uses because she loves him so very much. She lost her faithful friend yesterday and today I am posting this poem I wrote when I lost my cat Buster several years ago. This is for her “Sam” and all other furry friends we lose. Grief and loss look the same and there is no way to measure the sorrow, human or animal, it’s all just sorrow and it was never in God’s original plan. That is why it feels so very wrong…….

Don’t tell me it’s just a cat.

How can you be leaving my life so soon? You’ve been a part of my life for so long now, a little shadow, always beside me.

You were dragged out from under a house with your litter-mates and right away I knew you were the most special. When I picked you up, I knew you were the one.

How could something so small lighten such a load of grief? Your little presence broke through such clouds of sadness in my life. A little dynamo, tearing around the house destroying everything in your path, then settling onto my lap or shoulder when you wanted to be sweet.

Years went by and you remained a faithful friend. Through all the moves, joys and heartaches you were there, never failing to come when I called you. You’d jump up to settle on my lap and settle in just a few inches from my face, purring that rattling purr and doing your best to assure me with your steady gaze that everything would be fine.

It always was, except for now.

The vet says you won’t live much longer. The cancer moves fast to swallow up your little life. I see your size diminish, but not your spirit. How can I say goodbye to such a faithful friend? I gather your little weightless form into my arms and tell you everything will be allright, but I know it won’t.

I can do nothing as you breathe your last breath, my tears falling on the soft coat I have stroked so many times. It’s the least I can do after all you’ve done for me.

So don’t tell me, it’s just a cat.

He was so much more than that. (Born April 1989-went to chase dragonflies in Heaven July 2001)

Dedicated to Buster and Sam Bobtail and all faithful friends we have lost over the years.

A happy addendum to this is that I got Sydney after Buster and he is so like him it is uncanny. The grief does make way for laughter and joy again, but as with all loss, it takes time. While we have to deal with the pain this side of Heaven, there remains the bright light of hope on the other side of the darkness. Jesus hope.

Finding the heartbeat of Christmas

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind…….John 1:4

It’s easy to miss it, amidst the rush and clamor. But the magic is there, underneath it, around it and through it and all over it. It’s life, and that life is why He came.

It’s our life He values…….mine and yours. And it’s every big and little miracle moment of our lives that He was born for.

Those big moments of our lives we tend to capture pretty well. We have diplomas and wedding albums and birth certificates and baby showers. But it’s those small moments He came for too.

Like when I lit the little Christmas tree in the shop where I pray. I think He smiles at those too.

During Christmas, I always feel a pressing need to slow down and capture each moment, kind of like how kids capture fireflies in a jar. My thoughts, like those fireflies, are beating their wings against the glass, hoping to be set free. Sometimes there’s almost a sense of urgency to it.

An urgency born of the realization that all these moments matter.

They do.

Maybe deep within us all there is a fear of losing them forever. Maybe that’s what makes some of us write.

As I shift in my seat, I hear the crinkle of yellow sticky notes in my back pocket. My firefly thoughts.

Those little scribbles I leave all over the house, as well as those that spill out of the pockets of my clothes, are my way of pulling over to the side of the road of my own life in order to let all the rest hurry careen by.

Because this is important, this Advent, and it’s not so much making it magic, but letting it happen.

The magic happens when we let go of unrealistic expectations of what we think Christmas should be so we can make room for what it really is; when we free ourselves and others of things they could never live up to and events what they could never be.

When we realize we are all just imperfect people looking for our particular version of God.

But God usually shows up differently than what we expect, and He always exceeds our expectations.

Stop, and listen to your life. And let Him in this season. You will be amazed at what He does.

Thank you Lord, for the miracle. You know the one I’m talking about. I haven’t stop breathing thanks.

photo credit: creative commons images: flickr: by Wendy. Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs License

Tell me…..

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone—while the morning stars sang together and all the angelsshouted for joy? God speaks, Job 38:4-7

Sometimes in the quiet, I wonder how it would be to stand on the brink of the world, where it’s so cold, to cold even for a tree. To experience that terrible wonder. To observe the creatures that live there, to see how they do it. I think I would be even more in awe of God than I am now.

To see the Northern lights, now that would be some miracle. I think I am almost obsessed with seeing them. To see how God paints the sky that way would leave me dumbstruck with silence like the moon still leaves me sometimes when I see it rise over the Superstitions. I will never lose my capacity to love nature and the God who spoke it all into existence.

And when I went on the Alaskan cruise, the thing that made an indelible mark was not the buffet, though it was incredible. It was not the beauty of the ship, though it was breathtaking. And it wasn’t the luxury of the room or the entertainment on board.

It was going out on the veranda and seeing nothing but water as far as I could see……God was so big there.

It was the light at midnight and the glow on the water……the mysterious silence that took my breath away.

It was an unspoiled land, and eagles nests as big as Volkswagens.

Those are the things I will never forget. This Advent, as always. I will pretend I have a bit of the mystery of Mary. I will treasure all these things up in my heart like she did. Pregnant with God’s Spirit, sealed for the day of redemption, Oh God, may that one thought change everything I do.

Never let it get old. Embrace the miracle you are, and this Christmas season, wait with me.

Along with Mary. With Joseph.

Wait with me here.

God is speaking…….

“Where is the way to the dwelling of light?
And darkness, where is its place,
That you may take it to its territory
And that you may discern the paths to its home?
“You know, for you were born then,
And the number of your days is great!
“Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,
Or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,
Which I have reserved for the time of distress,
For the day of war and battle?
“Where is the way that the light is divided,
Or the east wind scattered on the earth?

Photo from creative commons, flickr: Morten Nelson some rights reserved.

Ushering in Advent

It is December first and I wake early, in the dark. Still trying to shake off remnants of the work week, I get up for a couple of Advil and head back to bed, breathing a still prayer in the silence. The last three hours of work were stressful yesterday and the shadows of it still crouched in my mind, refusing to dislodge. And yet, I have three days off and I am aglow with the ushering in of Advent.

Be still my soul. Prepare ye the way of the Lord, for though He has already come, and gone and come again with the gift of His Spirit, (He never went away) I celebrate His coming all over again.

In these still hours, my mind feels close to You.

Heal it Lord, wrap it in Your balm of peace.

Erase the cares and worries of the week

with Your healing touch.

Prepare me for Your Advent…….

It’s God with us, still.

Always and forever.

Behold, I show you a mystery: We shall not all sleep; but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 1 Corinthians 15:51

Today is a gift. Let the celebrations begin, for it’s time to light the house, play Handel’s Messiah, and do all the things we only do this time of year. For He is worthy of a party. And the miracle just never, ever gets old.

No Soup for You!

Seinfeld reigns supreme as king of comedies in my house. E and I recite lines from the show often, and anyone who has watched it for any length of time knows about the classic “Soup Nazi” episodes. We use the familiar line to describe just about anything, from parking spaces to disappearing leftovers, and various other missed opportunities.

It was especially apropos yesterday when we both realized the leftover turkey carcass had spent the night in the oven. It was one of those, “I thought you put it away,” moments. Suffice it to say, there will be no homemade turkey soup for me. Not from that turkey, anyway.

When you have animals in the house, cats that can jump anywhere, or very tall dogs that can reach to the back of the counter, you just learn you have to put things up. Ovens and microwaves are handy temporary places of storage, however, there is a reason someone coined the term, “out of sight, out of mind.”

There have been many food casualties down through the years, many of them made famous by Tyler, our family dog. I can’t count the leftover roasts, steaks, and turkey carcasses he has stealthily made off with, both at my folk’s and my brother’s house. He is an equal opportunist, that dog.

And If the leftovers didn’t find their way to his stomach, they perished by being left in the microwave or oven, trying to keep them away from him.

My brother brought Tyler home as a pup, an adorable mix of border collie and something else very, very tall.

His only flaw is his begging and extreme love of people food. He will go to any lengths to get it. He used to follow my niece around for hours, waiting for a single cheerio to drop. He has been such a very good dog in every other way though we tend to overlook it. Most of the time.

One of his claims to fame was the Christmas he waited for us all to leave the room so he could get at the cheese ball. We were only gone for less than five minutes and in that time, he had snatched it off the plate and consumed it whole without ever disrupting the perfectly arranged circle of crackers in the middle.

He only missed out on the crackers because we came back in the room.

Opportunity knocked for him a second holiday when he consumed the entire Thanksgiving turkey carcass that was left cooling on the counter. The entire carcass. Bones and all. They were scheduled to leave on vacation the next day and they were terrified the bones would tear his insides to pieces. The vet said to leave him there overnight and see what happened. He was fine. I am convinced his digestive system could handle anything.

That was pretty much verified when he consumed the entire box of baby laxative. And it didn’t faze him. Went right through without a hitch, not even a loose BM.

Food issues aside, he is a very good and loyal dog. You could ask him to do anything and he would do it if he possibly could. He chases the neighbor’s cats, but is a perfect gentlemen with all others in the family. He knows the difference. And like the rest of us, he is getting older. He’s pretty stiff and he hesitates awhile before he gets in the car, sometimes we have to help him in.

When I stay the night at my brothers, he is my morning partner. He goes with me out to the back forty where I drink in the first sounds of the morning with my first cup of coffee.

And when I go for a walk in the orchard across the street, he waits faithfully at the edge of the driveway until I am safely back.

This Christmas we will all spoil him with treats.

Because like us, he isn’t getting any younger and he won’t be around forever.

The Thankful Apostle

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57

Part of my devotional reading was Paul’s conversion today, which I meditated on for the remainder of my prayer time, because once again, I was struck with the power of his story. Paul did not have an easy life once he started following Christ. In fact, Jesus pretty much promised that he wouldn’t as told to Ananias:

But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” Acts 9:15,16

And yet, with all that he indeed did suffer for the sake of the Gospel, the thing that stands out to me about the character of Paul is his overwhelming thankfulness. More verses are attributed to him regarding thankfulness and giving thanks than any other person in the Bible. Anyway, that’s how it seemed to me when I started counting them. Here are just a few:

But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. 2 Corinthians 2:14

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 2 Colossians 2:6,7

…….always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20

…….and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified youto share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, Colossians 1:12,13

When I think about the life of Paul, I am overwhelmed at his capacity to abound in thanksgiving knowing all he had to go through. He never forgot what Jesus had saved him from. He had personally experienced God’s great mercy in sparing him. He never lost that. I hope I never do.

Lord, in the midst of all that I have, I am thankful first and foremost for the cross.

Without it, I would have nothing. Without what Jesus did none of this would mean anything.

You have given me a future and a hope. Help me to be a light to others.

Remove the scales from my heart and eyes so that I can love the way you love.

Amen

Job Changes: Moving out of comfort

It was the year 2003 and I was sitting comfortably at my workstation up on the factory floor at the company where I had worked since 1996. I had settled into a somewhat comfortable groove having been at my current position for a year, but it was pretty stressful so I thought maybe I’d put in for a change.

There was an interest form floating around inviting people to transfer over to the neighboring site to work on a ramp up for a new technology.　I thought maybe I’d fill it out.

After all, it was only an interest form, not a transfer. I filled it out and pushed “send” and off it sailed to the appropriate website for review. I had a momentary sense of unease which I shrugged off…….read the rest of story over here at Devoted Conversations where I have the privilege of sharing today!

Signs of the Times

Well, Costco apologized for the “mistake” that had their Bibles labeled “fiction.” I usually don’t jump too much on the bandwagon on boycotts because sometimes I think they do more harm than good. However, in this case I was ready to go to my local store and see for myself.

I can now buy my Pumpkin Pie with a clear conscience. And no, I don’t bake my own, Costco’s are better, and bigger. A liberal dosing of Whipped Cream and I am good to go. I lay the little Martha Stewart beast within me to rest by making up for it with homemade Christmas cookies.

I tuned in last night and started watching 19 Kids and Counting. I ended up watching the whole show. They really do amaze me. Say what you want, those kids are all beautiful, and talented, and smart. And as uneasy as it made me when she had the last one? I couldn’t look at her last night without thinking that God wanted her here too. She is doing beautifully now.

I have a friend who seethes and almost foams at the mouth when you mention the Duggars. She leans far to the left and I know if she could do it without risking our friendship, she would tell me how hopelessly ignorant, archaic and uneducated and out of touch I am for being a Christian.

But give me a world of Duggars over a world of Kardashians any day.

We certainly are living in troubled times. I talked with a friend the other day who fears for her 13-year-old daughter. Her daughter is involved with a boy who has already been sexually active…..at 13. Her daughter is intimidated by this boy, and my friend is afraid to talk to the boy’s parents for fear of what her daughter will do. She is already cutting herself.

These times, while troubling, should not surprise us. Jesus said there will be perilous times ahead. I am thinking they will get worse before they get better. But there is still plenty of good in the world. People are doing marvelous things all over the world. Helping, loving, supporting.

So what do you think? This?

Or this?

And it’s not just Miley. She is just an easy mark right now. I feel for her, I really do. In fact, I pray for her. I believe there will come a time when she will have many regrets. I lament our American culture that really has failed our girls in many ways.

I am praying for my friend and her 13-year-old daughter. She doesn’t know what to do, and I can’t imagine being in her position. It’s easy for me to say what I would do if she were mine. But she’s not. And I can’t.

But I can listen and be there for her Mom. I pray it all works out.

Images from google

A Home for Adeline

I was in my warm bed when I read the story thumbing through Facebook, first at Sandra’s place, then at Jennifer’s, whose compassionate heart birthed a daring idea. That she could do something out of the ordinary. Something big. Something crazy. Something God-sized. And that maybe we could all join together and help out. I think our best strength as women is how we can be standing in line at the store and make a new friend, just like that.

And when I read about Adeline, I felt like I had met a new friend who I just couldn’t forget. You see, we all know there are millions of people like her, but if no one ever puts a name to a face and tells their story, they all just become something like a great mass of humanity and how in the world can we help them?

As I snuggled inside my big fluffy robe and put off going out to pray in the chilled air, I thought of Adeline again. And as I wandered from room to room in my “down-sized” home, it felt like a mansion. I had rooms…..space. And to be honest, this down-sized place is where I have felt more at home than any other. And this is my fifth. She just wants a room that doesn’t leak.

The custom home was a dream, something I never thought I’d have. Just one decision involved the size and shape of sink-bowls. That alone took up about 30 minutes and a lot of laughter, I might add. I had no idea there were that many colors, shapes, sizes, materials. Of sinks!

As I sat to pray, I lit my candle and looked around at my “little” shop. It is probably bigger than Adeline’s house. The one that’s falling down around her. I looked around and I couldn’t really pray. I just sat there thinking of her smiling face in the picture on Jennifer’s site. With the rain washing away her walls. I wished I could give her a place as solid as the little shop I was sitting in.

So I am going to help, I’m gonna do what I can. It might be small, but I believe when we add all those small things together they become miracles.

My prayers will be going with Jennifer when she goes to Haiti to see Adeline and her family. And I hope she can give her good news. Bless her. Bless them all. And bless you too.

If you want to help, go to ViBella Jewelry and put in the code “newhouse” when you order. Thirty percent of sales will go to a new home for Adeline.

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6