Hope

Been thinking about…..

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Lately I’ve been thinking about those who went to Africa and met so many orphans. Orphans to whom books, shoes, school, soccer balls are treasures. In many cases kids who had to become heads of households. And I use the term “households” loosely, since many have no homes.

I have been wondering how it would feel to have no one to belong to. Having to go from place to place begging for food, searching, hoping for kindness from strangers.

What did I do to deserve living here in this place, with all my relatives trailing behind me on both sides. I know who I am because of all the stories passed down from one to another. Someone decided it was important to remember, so records were kept. Somehow on the dusty prairie of North Dakota, pictures were taken…..and from that, a colorful quilt of heritage was woven warmly around me.

I can scarcely imagine what it took for my Great-great Grandpa Jakob to pack up his family and flee from Russia. I wonder what wonderful things he heard about America. He must have held that dream for a better life until he could hold it no longer and then they all set sail across the water. My Grandmother at six months old almost didn’t make it.

On my Dad’s side they hailed from England close to where Robinhood and his band of merry men hung out. I have seen pictures of Lincolnshire, its stunning. They must have had some motivation to leave and start a Blacksmith shop in America. It couldn’t have been easy.

All this to say that they had a choice. They had somewhere to flee to. Somewhere to go. And as a result, I have a place of belonging. I know who I am and where I come from, it’s humbling. Because others have been robbed of something they never knew they had.

If I had one thing to say to those precious little ones I would say this. Once upon a time you had a Mom and a Dad. And they had stories, talents, things that made them unique in all the world. You had Aunties and Uncles too and they all had gifts which they passed down to you, even though you may not have known them. I am so sorry you never knew them, that you never got to see that tapestry they might have woven into your life.

That you will never have the luxury of complaining about your family and how they drive you crazy.

But here’s the thing. You do have a family. A heritage, and its one with Royal blood lines. And you are part of it. You have a Father in Heaven who loves you even more than your real Mama and Daddy ever could have.

And in the meantime, I hope all the people here and now who are wrapping their arms around you will let a little hope leak through to let you know you are you are very much not alone. And that you can dreams and that maybe they can even come true.

“Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds……rejoice before him—his name is the Lord. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing…….Psalm 68:4-6

Click here to see what some are doing to help give hope (and a place) to some very special kids today. See how you can also help!

Assurance about what we don’t (yet) see

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Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. Hebrews 11:1-3

 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

I can’t think of a better way to bring in the New Year than sitting on this shore watching the New Year roll in along with the tide, but since I can’t I thought I would post this pic and visualize myself there anyway. Yet, sitting here gazing at the lights on the tree that will soon be packed away, I am sipping coffee still snug in my big robe and I find that ain’t too shabby either. There is much to be thankful for.

As I drifted off to sleep last night, I can’t say that I felt all that hopeful about 2014. In the immediate, I will be going back to work on Thursday, and work right now is very stressful. I’d just as soon not go back. As I don’t have that luxury, I will continue to trust God to get me in the door each day. He’s never failed me yet.

It’s easy to get bogged down with unknowns, but thankfully, the knowns and what I know about God far outnumber the unknowns.

For that reason alone, this New Year rings with hope for me. I found myself surprised by joy this morning. I am rich with a heritage of belief in a God that holds me and all those I hold dear close.

God surprises me with His love again and again. No matter how many times I failed myself, others and Him last year, He reminded me this morning that His love for me has no end, it is infinite and unconditional and reaches past eternity.

On the edge of this world is another one shimmering in the light, where He is. That is where all our hope lies. That’s our future, and we carry it with us even now.

There is no room for fear in that kind of hope. It goes along with my new phrase for the year which is:

Faith over Fear.

As I prepare to enjoy this day, Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here with me, with us. I can’t imagine a better way to start the New Year.

As I sit here teary eyed watching the Rose Parade, I remember the year we got to go work on the floats with Home Depot. It was an unbelievable experience to see those huge floats up close. I will never forget it, and now each year I find myself crying when I watch, remembering how beautiful those floats, those flowers were.

As the Marine Marching Band plays, I cry again. I still love my country, despite all I am unhappy with in the current administration. Yes, I am bowled over with the beauty of the world. Amidst the backdrop of so much heartache and strife on the news, there is so much good.

Happy New Year world……Keep looking up, for our redemption draws nigh!

As for me, I am hoping for what I can’t yet fully see. God is working behind the scenes for our good, always. That’s always reason to hope.

They met with Herod, they worshipped Jesus

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On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Matthew 2:11

The three wise men met with Herod, but they worshipped Jesus when they finally saw Him. You meet with dignitaries, you meet with the President, the Queen……your boss. You worship the Lord when you recognize Him for who He is. And when the wise men saw  Him they knew.

They knew what they saw was truth, was real…….was worthy of worship.

Jesus birth was heralded with signs in the Heavens, a choir of angels, and stunned Shepherds………and if you think that was spectacular, just wait until He comes back.

I realize the birth of Christ does not fall on December 25th, and I know that some of the things we do to celebrate His birth are mixed in with other things that may not have anything to do with Jesus.

But God has called it all good, and when we worship with right heart motive God smiles.

And I am not stopping with Christmas, I plan to continue all year long.

I used to be really let down when Christmas was over, but I have learned to enjoy the quiet time right after the rush is through. To sit down and reflect on everything that just happened and to prayerfully contemplate on whatever God has for me in the New Year.

So tonight, I plan to calm down a little and light up every string in the house and sit by the tree……maybe drive around and view some lights.

To savor every moment.

The Lord has come……let earth receive her King again and again.

images from: http://www.freebibleimages.org some rights reserved

Christmas adds burden, Christ relieves them

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It’s as I am taking her clothes out of the dryer that it hits me. How sad it still is.

It’s been a year since Elaine‘s Mom went into Assisted Living. She still comes to visit through her clothes which I lift out of the dryer one after another along with my thoughts. I see her name, Joyce, printed on the inside of the neckline. That’s what you do once you go there. Things sometimes get lost. Clothes get mixed up like the identities, the individuals that reside there.

Will there be a time when I have my name written on my clothes? That’s a tough question that I would rather not answer.

I hope Jesus comes first.

Her Granddaughter offered to decorate her room for Christmas and she said, “I don’t believe in Christmas.” The Granddaughter recoiled……both shocked and saddened. E. was not surprised. The question remains: When do you stop trying to bring color into someone’s world when gray is where they are most comfortable? Celebrations and decorations make her ill at ease, she asks things like, “Who put those there?”

But bringing color is what we try to do because we think it will help.

Yet sometimes the best kind of helping means we meet them in their world, where they live.

I have just been writing a memory for my Dad and it makes me feel like the keeper of the flame, because keeping those memories alive for another is to stand in a place of honor. The thought flows through my mind like a ghost……..how would it be to have your memory wiped clean? No memory of last year, or even 10 minutes before?

As I lift the clothes out, I remember how hard it was when she was here. So hard. And she is happier there. Her version of happy anyway. So E. continues to meet her in her world. She brings her Snickers because she likes those more than anything. She does what needs doing and she brings hope to the nurses and residents there.

You might think there is not much hope residing there, but hope sometimes comes when and where you least expect it. As E. stopped to talk to the lady who knits, she noticed lots of hats. The lady said, “I am knitting these for the kids…..the kids who have cancer. Is there any way you could see that they get there? To the sick children?”

E. said, her mind racing about when but knowing somehow she would find a way. “Yes, I will make sure they get there. And I will see if I can get a picture to bring back.”

Her face lit up. She is one who wants to bring color to others. Even though she can’t take them herself. Even there she carries hope.

Today, as I rush around and feel the stress of Christmas I remember that though Christmas and all that comes with the celebration of it might carry a weight, it’s only one I put on myself. For Christ never adds a burden, He only relieves it.

I suddenly remember why it is I am doing all this. I turn off the Christmas songs and turn up the praise songs. And I kneel on the dirty floor I still haven’t cleaned. And suddenly I am very happy I am making these cookies. I watch as they puff up in the oven. The stars, the angels, the bells, and the boot. I think of how Lauryn and I will decorate them when I see her. I smile.

I may or may not get to the floor. But somehow it no longer matters.

Holding out Hope for Christmas

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I never really understood it until I heard it explained out loud. As I heard them struggling to articulate it, that feeling of wanting to escape every Christmas, something about the way they explained it made sense. It clicked into place for me and I suddenly understood.

I realized that all my life, I hadn’t been sensitive enough to that. I remembered how each year my Dad would say that all he ever wanted to do at Christmas is go up to a quiet little cabin in the snow and decorate a little Christmas tree with pinecones and little red balls and nothing else. We all kind of made fun of him for that. It’s not what we wanted.

That little cabin held out hope for him. It was a way of wishing away all the bad Christmases he had as a child.The ones that always started out pretty good,until the drinking started. After that it turned into a screaming match between his parents. It was slamming doors and chaos and throwing things. And always, someone walking out the door. Hope dashed.

To far too many people, Christmas is a time that evokes very powerful emotions and feelings that they don’t want to bring back. And to be honest, even though I only have happy memories of Christmas, sometimes I want to cower in a corner at the madness it’s become.

It’s like the other day I set out to get gas and a few other items I had on my list. I went all the way to the service station and it was crazy. People were parked every direction and it was packed. And maybe it’s because this year I have made a concerted effort to be calm and slow down to not join in.

Something in me switched off and I just couldn’t do it.

I took a deep breath, turned the car around and headed back to my quiet corner of the world. I went to my little car wash and took my time drying off the car, chatting with the gentleman next to me. Then I took a little scenic drive and on the way home I got gas. My spirit lifted and my heartbeat slowed. I felt myself relax.

I set up the manger scene, and then I went inside to get a few things online. I thought about all the rushing around that was taking place at that very minute. Out in the world.

It was into this chaotic world of dysfunction that Jesus was born. And His earthly parents didn’t have it easy either. Joseph had his perfectly ordered world turned upside down when Mary presented him with the news that she was pregnant. And Mary……she couldn’t hide her condition. I am sure everywhere she went, there were whispers of scandal.

And then she had to have her baby far away from her Mom and sisters, cousins and friends. In a cold stable.

But I think that is precisely why Christmas can hold so much hope for all of us.

I guess you could say that Mary and Joseph’s situation is ours too, for it’s in the middle of all that dysfunction and misery that God shows up. The light of Christ shines all that brighter amidst the backdrop of hopelessness.

That’s the great hope I hold out today. And I want you to know…….

If you are grieving this year, or desperately craving peace. If you are trying to bury pain or battling loneliness, either by yourself or in a crowd. If you are trying to outrun old memories that never seem to go away. If tears are falling. If you are spinning plates in the air trying to get things done, things you will forget about by New Year’s?

Just trust me on this.

Jesus is your answer. Always. He is our hope. Our Christmas.

Mine looked a bit different this year. The lights didn’t go up, but the manger scene did. The house is decorated to the hilt and I enjoyed every minute of it. I got to help some people out who needed it and went to hear the Phoenix Symphony perform Handel’s Messiah. We went to a wonderful High School Christmas play because one of E’s kids asked if she’d be there. What a blessing it was to see those kids perform.

I have slowed down and enjoyed every minute.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:10-11

When you lose a faithful friend

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My post today is dedicated to a very special lady whom I met on Facebook. She regularly uplifts me with the things she posts there. She goes by the name “Sam Bobtail” but that is not her real name. It is her dog’s name she uses because she loves him so very much. She lost her faithful friend yesterday and today I am posting this poem I wrote when I lost my cat Buster several years ago. This is for her “Sam” and all other furry friends we lose. Grief and loss look the same and there is no way to measure the sorrow, human or animal, it’s all just sorrow and it was never in God’s original plan. That is why it feels so very wrong…….

Don’t tell me it’s just a cat.

How can you be leaving my life so soon? You’ve been a part of my life for so long now, a little shadow, always beside me.

You were dragged out from under a house with your litter-mates and right away I knew you were the most special. When I picked you up, I knew you were the one.

How could something so small lighten such a load of grief? Your little presence broke through such clouds of sadness in my life. A little dynamo, tearing around the house destroying everything in your path, then settling onto my lap or shoulder when you wanted to be sweet.

Years went by and you remained a faithful friend. Through all the moves, joys and heartaches you were there, never failing to come when I called you. You’d jump up to settle on my lap and settle in just a few inches from my face, purring that rattling purr and doing your best to assure me with your steady gaze that everything would be fine.

It always was, except for now.

The vet says you won’t live much longer. The cancer moves fast to swallow up your little life. I see your size diminish, but not your spirit. How can I say goodbye to such a faithful friend? I gather your little weightless form into my arms and tell you everything will be allright, but I know it won’t.

I can do nothing as you breathe your last breath, my tears falling on the soft coat I have stroked so many times. It’s the least I can do after all you’ve done for me.

So don’t tell me, it’s just a cat.

He was so much more than that.  (Born April 1989-went to chase dragonflies in Heaven July 2001)

Dedicated to Buster and Sam Bobtail and all faithful friends we have lost over the years.

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A happy addendum to this is that I got Sydney after Buster and he is so like him it is uncanny. The grief does make way for laughter and joy again, but as with all loss, it takes time. While we have to deal with the pain this side of Heaven, there remains the bright light of hope on the other side of the darkness. Jesus hope.

Finding the heartbeat of Christmas

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In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind…….John 1:4

It’s easy to miss it, amidst the rush and clamor. But the magic is there, underneath it, around it and through it and all over it. It’s life, and that life is why He came.

It’s our life He values…….mine and yours. And it’s every big and little miracle moment of our lives that He was born for.

Those big moments of our lives we tend to capture pretty well. We have diplomas and wedding albums and birth certificates and baby showers. But it’s those small moments He came for too.

Like when I lit the little Christmas tree in the shop where I pray. I think He smiles at those too.

During Christmas, I always feel a pressing need to slow down and capture each moment, kind of like how kids capture fireflies in a jar. My thoughts, like those fireflies, are beating their wings against the glass, hoping to be set free. Sometimes there’s almost a sense of urgency to it.

An urgency born of the realization that all these moments matter.

They do.

Maybe deep within us all there is a fear of losing them forever. Maybe that’s what makes some of us write.

As I shift in my seat, I hear the crinkle of yellow sticky notes in my back pocket. My firefly thoughts.

Those little scribbles I leave all over the house, as well as those that spill out of the pockets of my clothes, are my way of pulling over to the side of the road of my own life in order to let all the rest hurry careen by.

Because this is important, this Advent, and it’s not so much making it magic, but letting it happen.

The magic happens when we let go of unrealistic expectations of what we think Christmas should be so we can make room for what it really is; when we free ourselves and others of things they could never live up to and events what they could never be.

When we realize we are all just imperfect people looking for our particular version of God.

But God usually shows up differently than what we expect, and He always exceeds our expectations.

Stop, and listen to your life. And let Him in this season. You will be amazed at what He does.

Thank you Lord, for the miracle. You know the one I’m talking about. I haven’t stop breathing thanks.

 

photo credit: creative commons images: flickr: by Wendy. Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs License

A Home for Adeline

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I was in my warm bed when I read the story thumbing through Facebook,  first at Sandra’s place, then at Jennifer’s, whose compassionate heart birthed a daring idea. That she could do something out of the ordinary. Something big. Something crazy. Something God-sized. And that maybe we could all join together and help out. I think our best strength as women is how we can be standing in line at the store and make a new friend, just like that.

And when I read about Adeline, I felt like I had met a new friend who I just couldn’t forget. You see, we all know there are millions of people like her, but if no one ever puts a name to a face and tells their story, they all just become something like a great mass of humanity and how in the world can we help them?

As I snuggled inside my big fluffy robe and put off going out to pray in the chilled air, I thought of Adeline again. And as I wandered from room to room in my “down-sized” home, it felt like a mansion. I had rooms…..space. And to be honest, this down-sized place is where I have felt more at home than any other. And this is my fifth. She just wants a room that doesn’t leak.

The custom home was a dream, something I never thought I’d have. Just one decision involved the size and shape of sink-bowls. That alone took up about 30 minutes and a lot of laughter, I might add. I had no idea there were that many colors, shapes, sizes, materials. Of sinks!

As I sat to pray, I lit my candle and looked around at my “little” shop. It is probably bigger than Adeline’s house. The one that’s falling down around her. I looked around and I couldn’t really pray. I just sat there thinking of her smiling face in the picture on Jennifer’s site. With the rain washing away her walls. I wished I could give her a place as solid as the little shop I was sitting in.

So I am going to help, I’m gonna do what I can. It might be small, but I believe when we add all those small things together they become miracles.

My prayers will be going with Jennifer when she goes to Haiti to see Adeline and her family. And I hope she can give her good news. Bless her. Bless them all. And bless you too.

If you want to help, go to ViBella Jewelry and put in the code “newhouse” when you order. Thirty percent of sales will go to a new home for Adeline.

We dream of something better because……there is.

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How perfect is that? Even a quote from Robert Frost on the porch!

Against the background of KBAQ classical I listened absently to the rhythmic sound of tires rolling over rubberized asphalt and relaxed into my 35 minute freeway commute this morning. With the moon peeking through clouds overhead, I imagined being in another place. Anywhere but on my way to work. I dreamed up a perfect Pinterest scene.

In my mind, I was carrying my mug of frothe topped coffee over to a perfect writing spot. A freshly baked scone was already there waiting. And Bach Suites played in the background. As I took that first life-giving sip of the day, I settled into a spot with a comfortable table and even more comfortable chair, facing low windows that opened out. You know the kind.

We all have those places we dream about. There is something inside each one of us that reaches for the heights of somewhere else. We were meant for more than this my friends. While we live in a world of wood, plaster, chipping concrete, and graffiti, and time that wears the years out of everything.

Deep inside we know we were meant for marbled halls and vaulted ceilings.

Personally, I’d like a bit of the beauty of Highclere Castle with the warmth of a cottage smack dap in the middle of Midford, right next to Happy Endings bookstore.

Thankfully, I love my home. When I walk in the door, it’s an oasis. It’s a little bit of how it will feel to finally reach those shores of Heaven. And it will never end.

Heaven is what we were all made for. We were made to last for eternity, and we will. But right now I can have a little bit here, for when I sit at home on a day off, I feel much like the scene I created before. And the beauty of it all is that no matter where I am, I carry Him with me.

That’s what Jesus was talking about when He said the kingdom of Heaven is within you. Right here, right now. We can’t manufacture it for ourselves. It’s God’s great gift.

And until I reach those eternal shores? It’s the next best thing.

One day the Pharisees asked Jesus, “When will the Kingdom of God begin?” Jesus replied, “The Kingdom of God isn’t ushered in with visible signs.You won’t be able to say, ‘It has begun here in this place or there in that part of the country.’ For the Kingdom of God is within you.” Luke 17:20,21

Right now I am work. But at the same time, I am touching the edge of Heaven with my toes in the sand of its shore. Selah.

 

picture from my Pinterest board labeled “Dream Home.” via flickr

Pray for Kate

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For far too many people the bulk of their daily lives consists of the inner walls of the waiting rooms of hospitals and doctors offices.  While the rest of us have the luxury of going about our lives celebrating joys and accomplishments, breathing freedom, complaining about everyday things, juggling bills, jobs we might hate, their reality is much different. They live in a sea of uncertainty from one procedure to the next, never knowing what the outcome will be.

I thought of all these people when I went to take Sydney to the vet last week. It was traumatic for him and me. He peed all over the cage and nestled his head in my arm for protection, overwhelmed by all the smells and the ride in the car. By the end of it, I was a nervous wreck. I thought of the little girl, Kate, whose story I have been following ever since 2009, when she was diagnosed with a massive, aggressive brain tumor. They were able to remove only half of it, because of the location in her brain.

Kate’s family has been a source of great inspiration to me and people all over the world as we have watched this brave family deal with this in light of their faith. Their strength and commitment to the Lord throws a light on all the darkness in a way that is simply miraculous. For four years now they have walked through the shadows of death with Kate, and yet remarkably, today, she is cancer free. And yet, the devastating effects of the chemo and massive doses of radiation are a grim reality and reminder of a still uncertain outcome.

Please follow this link, to read Kate’s Mom’s latest journal entry on Caring Bridge here……and join me in prayer for these wonderful people and Kate who is one of the most courageous little girls I know about.