Belief

Why I Believe

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I guess because I’m lazy. You see, when I look at light like this, I am absolutely certain it has a source other than the setting sun. For me, it takes more faith not to believe……..I like to think that nature is God’s looking-glass, others gaze at a sunset, I see His canvas.

And who can fail to see a reflection of Heaven in a newborn’s eyes?

I can explain God in a thousand different ways and yet, even this beauty is but a dim reflection. I guess the best way to explain God is in the unexplainable mysteries we still haven’t figured out. Tell me if you know who holds up the moon? The earth in place? Who could see this moon and not utter a prayer?

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How can I count the ways He speaks? He speaks in the quiet of a church pew, at Holy light filtering through the windows on a Christmas Eve. On a snow filled forest when it’s hushed and the silence is filled with His presence. He speaks in the hope of a loved one’s smile on before death, because they know they are standing on the threshold of Heaven and there is nothing to fear. I have seen it.

And once, He even spoke to me through a painting. When I stood stock-still and speechless before El Greco’s painting “The Tears of St. Peter” and tears sprang from my own eyes because suddenly I understood how it was to see how Holiness could spring from a canvas.

He speaks in the poetry of the way a coyote springs as he walks. And in Chopin’s Concerto number 2 right as the sun comes though the clouds.

And when I open His book I see how it lives and works in the lives of people like you and me. Here, and now.

One thing that puzzles me is how someone who normally doesn’t give God a thought can blame Him for the worst of humanity’s ills. I guess they forget that He gave us clear directions on how to treat one another. We own that. Not Him.

I am thankful because it’s something I don’t struggle with, belief that He is. Though many do.

My prayer today and for all time is to be a conduit of His grace here in my own quiet way. To point the way of Hope, and that this is not all there is. May you be touched by His light today.

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard.Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world. God has made a home in the heavens for the sun. It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding. It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.

The sun rises at one end of the heavens and follows its course to the other end. Nothing can hide from its heat. The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living. Psalm 19:1-8

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Finding the heartbeat of Christmas

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In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind…….John 1:4

It’s easy to miss it, amidst the rush and clamor. But the magic is there, underneath it, around it and through it and all over it. It’s life, and that life is why He came.

It’s our life He values…….mine and yours. And it’s every big and little miracle moment of our lives that He was born for.

Those big moments of our lives we tend to capture pretty well. We have diplomas and wedding albums and birth certificates and baby showers. But it’s those small moments He came for too.

Like when I lit the little Christmas tree in the shop where I pray. I think He smiles at those too.

During Christmas, I always feel a pressing need to slow down and capture each moment, kind of like how kids capture fireflies in a jar. My thoughts, like those fireflies, are beating their wings against the glass, hoping to be set free. Sometimes there’s almost a sense of urgency to it.

An urgency born of the realization that all these moments matter.

They do.

Maybe deep within us all there is a fear of losing them forever. Maybe that’s what makes some of us write.

As I shift in my seat, I hear the crinkle of yellow sticky notes in my back pocket. My firefly thoughts.

Those little scribbles I leave all over the house, as well as those that spill out of the pockets of my clothes, are my way of pulling over to the side of the road of my own life in order to let all the rest hurry careen by.

Because this is important, this Advent, and it’s not so much making it magic, but letting it happen.

The magic happens when we let go of unrealistic expectations of what we think Christmas should be so we can make room for what it really is; when we free ourselves and others of things they could never live up to and events what they could never be.

When we realize we are all just imperfect people looking for our particular version of God.

But God usually shows up differently than what we expect, and He always exceeds our expectations.

Stop, and listen to your life. And let Him in this season. You will be amazed at what He does.

Thank you Lord, for the miracle. You know the one I’m talking about. I haven’t stop breathing thanks.

 

photo credit: creative commons images: flickr: by Wendy. Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs License

Ushering in Advent

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It is December first and I wake early, in the dark. Still trying to shake off remnants of the work week, I get up for a couple of Advil and head back to bed, breathing a still prayer in the silence. The last three hours of work were stressful yesterday and the shadows of it still crouched in my mind, refusing to dislodge. And yet, I have three days off and I am aglow with the ushering in of Advent.

Be still my soul. Prepare ye the way of the Lord, for though He has already come, and gone and come again with the gift of His Spirit, (He never went away) I celebrate His coming all over again.

In these still hours, my mind feels close to You.

Heal it Lord, wrap it in Your balm of peace.

Erase the cares and worries of the week

with Your healing touch.

Prepare me for Your Advent…….

It’s God with us, still.

Always and forever.

Behold, I show you a mystery: We shall not all sleep; but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 1 Corinthians 15:51

Today is a gift. Let the celebrations begin, for it’s time to light the house, play Handel’s Messiah, and do all the things we only do this time of year. For He is worthy of a party. And the miracle just never, ever gets old.

Just As I Am……

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“How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher?” Romans 10:14

I felt like I was time-traveling as I sat and watched the recent Billy Graham telecast, My Hope. It was that voice that brought it all back. Suddenly it was the 1970’s again, and I was in my early teens. Somewhere out there were still hippies and leftover flower children. Nixon might have declared the war in Vietnam over, but it still went on, over there and over here. But I was young and times were simple, peaceful in the evangelical world I grew up in.

The seventies brought modern translations of the Bible like “The “Good News for Modern Man” and the revolutionary,”The Way.” The old guard at my Baptist church didn’t approve. According to them, only the King James version was acceptible to God. And Jesus wore pin-striped suits. Yeah.

Those were the years of “Campus Crusade for Christ” and “Up with People”

We read spellbound about how gang member Nicky Cruz was brought to Christ by David Wilkerson’s fearless witness.

The Hiding Place movie came out, the story of what happened to Corrie Ten Boom’s family during the Holocaust.

And I am sitting in my Grandma’s warm kitchen watching the ORU singing group, the World Action Singers on her black and white set. She had an open line to the Prayer Tower and she was fond of both Oral Roberts and Ronald Reagan. Their pictures were scotch-taped in strategic places on her walls. In her broken German accent she could never master Oral’s name, instead it came out something like “Earlen B. Robbins.”

We watched Billy Graham crusades every time they came on TV.

I remembered the line he always said right before he gave the invitation to do that something bold.

That something bold was to step out of your seat and make your way to the aisle to start that trembling, wobbly, floating on your feet walk down the aisle to make a public declaration of your faith.

His message has never varied, it was always and only the Cross. Billy saw no need to fancy it up, to change with the times because he knew its message is timeless.

It’s what was known as the Altar Call. Some churches still have them. I remember the line from every crusade I ever watched. What Billy always said was, “Everyone that Jesus called he called publicly.” He always said it with a grand sweep of his arm as only he could say it.

Once, Billy Graham’s team came to my hometown and held a crusade at our festival grounds. He wasn’t there but another speaker was. All these years later I can still see his face, Lane Adams was his name. I knew by the end of that crusade that I would make that walk down my own church aisle the next Sunday.

I was fourteen and It was the best decision I ever made.

Then there was the time we all went to an actual crusade. I will never forget it. It was a hot, sweltering night in California’s beautiful capital city of Sacramento. We had to walk for what seemed like miles.

And I saw him from far, far away, and heard him speak. And it was powerful. A singer sang that night and I remember thinking, who is that girl and why does she have two first names? The singer was a young Sandy Patti. She was unknown then, but she went on to win Grammy’s and Dove awards. And she still has one of the finest voices you will ever hear.

And then Billy’s closing statements, and there was a hush as people fidgeted in the heat, shifting positions. And then the opening bar of “Just As I Am……” I can still hear the rustling of all that movement. A sea of people rose from all directions and just kept coming. It seemed there might be more up front than out in the crowd. I’ll never forget it.

My last church had an altar call, but I haven’t been to a service where they had one in a long while. Now it’s the declaration of “eyes closed, and heads bowed and a wave of the hand.” Somehow that doesn’t work for me. It’s just not the same. To me, it’s the most Holy moment of church and it brings us all closer together.

For how can we celebrate as a church family if we don’t even know it happened?

How can we acknowledge it when it happens behind closed doors?

For everyone Jesus called, He called publicly.

And He said unto them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19

Parable thoughts

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Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ Matthew 25:19-22

Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire. 1 Corinthians 3:12-15

When I read a certain Bible passage, first I pray for the Holy Spirit’s help in understanding and interpreting the verse. Then I use my study guides to help me consider the context, in other words, where the writer was coming from and what he was talking about in the previous verses.

Even at that, I can still muck things up by over complicating it.

In reading these two passages, I did what I do most of the time. I insert myself in the story and I ask myself some questions:

“Which one am I, really?

“Which one does God see me as?

“How do others see me?

I imagine myself standing before Jesus on that day, hopping up and down on one singed foot…….”Well, here I am Lord! I barely escaped the flames but I’m here, whew!” And then with an almost imperceptible shake of His head and sadness in His eyes, He holds His arms out to me anyway.

And then there are the talents……all those gifts He gave me that I clung to in fear. That I held deep inside. Those things I was afraid to share with others…….that light I didn’t let shine for fear of failure. And those I buried in the backyard trying to them safe instead of giving them out so He could multiply them for me.

When it all comes down to it, we are extremely hard on ourselves. And the reason God put all those things in the Bible is not to make us feel terrible about ourselves, but to spur us on to action. To encourage us.

He wants us to see that while we see only our failure, He sees where we have succeeded in Him.

He sees those times we seem to think nothing of. Those times we prayed for hours, faithfully each morning. Those times we passed the grocery cart to the next person and smiled. The time we were a peace-maker at work. Those times we were obedient by picking up the phone to encourage a fellow believer……

When we stand there before Jesus, feeling very much alone, maybe feeling maybe a little bit like the cowardly lion before Oz?

I believe He will say: “Who are all those behind you?”

Then we will look…….and He will remind us of all those times. And all those people.

Maybe you are not Billy Graham. And maybe, like me, you don’t preach on street corners. But you do love God, and you do share that love with others. And your talents too.

And just maybe, that one kindness you do today will be that last barrier that you remove, that last thing standing in the way of someone else’s salvation.

You just never know.

 

The Gravity of it all

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For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. John 3:17

I recently went to see the movie Gravity and I loved it. The views of Earth from space were stunning and they almost moved me to tears. Only two actors were used during the entire movie and it not only held my interest, it captivated me. Parts of it took my breath away, literally. I found myself wanting to take big gulps of air, especially for Sandra Bullock who was dynamic.

Watching this movie, watching our Earth from space made me see us how God must see us. I felt for us, I did. All of us with our piles of idols……our pack of worries and heartaches, our problems that seem so hugely monumental. Well, they are to us, anyway.

And I guess they are to God too, because He saw our plight. He saw our great need for a Savior, even when we didn’t see it ourselves.

And all these things that seem so big to us, so unsolvable, so wondrous, so lasting, are less than a breath to God.

I saw us as He does, as a people and a planet worth saving.

And none of the things we are so worried about right now today will matter in 20 years. They may not even matter next week.

Thank you God, for sending us a rescuer. A redeemer. Help us to know that even if we have no idea how we are going to solve our problems today, that somehow we will be okay.

Because you are here. And you promised never to leave or forsake us no matter what.

this photo is a digitally enhanced negative taken from 1972 Apollo 16 by Royce Bair/IronRodArt, some rights reserved

The Gift

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“Each day of life is a glorious gift, but so few people know to live within the confines of today. Much of their energy for abundant living spills over into the timeline into tomorrows worries or past regrets. Their remaining energy is sufficient only for limping through the day, not for living it to the full.” Sarah Young, Jesus Calling.

Some mornings the devotional seems to speak directly to me. Some mornings it stops me in my tracks. Lately, my vision has become clouded by too much fear, too much worry. Too much beyond my control.

That vision problem has me forgetting the gift.

For there is a gift He leaves, one for each new day. It’s called Grace and it’s just for you and me. It’s hand delivered from God himself. He holds it out, hoping we will open it. He waits and watches in anticipation……..He can’t wait to see how we’ll like it, what we’ll do with it.

Each measure of unwrapped Grace is just right, uniquely designed for that day, because just like each day is different, each need is different. Some days I leave it sadly untouched and it saddens Him. Even though He always leaves it right where I can find it

Oh, I see my great, grand future all right. I sometimes gaze at Heaven so intently that all I can see are spots before my eyes. I have no problem seeing the big picture, it’s the years I have left I struggle with because there is only so much I can control. It’s what I can’t control that scares me to death.

I want the next few years all mapped out and boxed up like a neat package, but God never promised that. But He did promise me today. And He is showing me to look around, to gaze back at the world and know that there is Heaven here too. In those He gives me.

And while the ticker tape of yesterday was fresh in my mind. I wrote the gifts down. Because blogging and praying is one thing. Sometimes you need to write it down so you can pick it up and hold it in your hands, and remember.

With my eyes closed and tears of gratitude, I saw the gift of today. It was sitting on a wicker porch swing, which rested on a big wooden wraparound porch of white. It was a big, square pink box with a grand yellow bow. The cushion it rested on was green with flowers.

And as I approached, I saw Jesus peeking through the lace curtains, smiling.

“Go on,” He said. “Open it. I made sure it was just your size.”

A one on one with Jesus

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At my workplace we have regular meetings with our OM (Operational Managers) called 1 on 1’s. Sometimes these are regarding serious issues, like disciplinary action, raises or reviews. Other times they are just informal chats. When a new manager comes into the area they are scheduled with each team member as a way of introduction. Sometimes we just shoot the breeze and talk about our last vacation, or what’s happening in the news.

I am one of God’s kids that spends a lot of time thinking about eternity and what it’ll be like.The Bible actually says to keep our minds focused on things above, so I guess I take that literally. I wasn’t one of those kids that daydreamed a lot, but I spent a fair amount of time with my nose in a book, immersed in some imaginary world that I had no problem stepping into.

I like to think that when we get to Heaven, Jesus will schedule a 1 on 1 with each of us. He spent a lot of His time in crowds here on earth, but I love that He also scheduled individual time with people. I have no problem believing that when He talked with you, He made you feel as if you were the only person on earth.

He did that with the Samaritan woman at the well. And Nicodemus and Mary and Martha, and Peter, who he had to admonish for being concerned with what would happen to the other disciples after Jesus was gone….I love Jesus answer to Peter on that one. I just know he had a loving look behind his reproof.

I like to imagine what we will talk about.

I can imagine Him saying, “I have waited a long time for this,” and He will call me by name and make me feel like I am the only person that matters right then. I can imagine how He will look into my eyes and see straight into my heart. He will tell me not to worry about all the things I didn’t do, instead He’ll put His arm around me and tell me to focus on the joy. And everything there is to come.

And I can’t wait to see His smile when He shows me around because He knows how I flip over things like flowers, and trees and animals. I imagine all the fear and longing and heartache melted away. And just……Jesus.

Just the rest of eternity to be with Him.

What do you imagine you will talk about?

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions;if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.  And where I go you know, and the way you know.” John 14:1-4

Photo from Creative Commons, Melanie Lukesh, some rights reserved.

A Provision Story

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First there was the leak in the line that ran from the water heater to the wall. It was a river in the backyard, and now there is a soggy floor that will probably have to be replaced (maybe).

Then there was the car that wouldn’t shift into third.

And my blinker went out. Again.

And the phone lines seems to have gotten wet from all the rain we had. All you can hear is crackling. The computer goes in and out. But I am not complaining about the rain, that was wonderful.

The leak was fixed temporarily but the day before yesterday it burst again. Another river.

With fifteen minutes left on the clock before she had to return to work options were limited. CALL…..PLUMBER……NOW.

But then something made her think of John. That nice man in the park that fixes everything. And I mean, everything. She hurriedly knocked on his door and he was just finishing up lunch. She was desperate, and no sooner had she gotten the words out of her mouth, he said two magic words.

Let’s Go.

He went down and proceeded to appraise the damage to the pipe. Then said, “I can do this while you are at work, don’t give it another thought, I will put a whole new pipe in and all I will charge is forty for labor and forty for the part.” A steal.

When she got home, it was all done, the way Home Depot should have done it in the first place. I think of how he could have been anywhere else that day, but he was home right then. And he made himself available.

Thank you God, and thank you John.

We were so thankful. It made me think of how God takes care of us through sending just the right people. I thought of all the wonderful things my friend does for others all the time expecting nothing in return. How she never hesitates to go the extra mile for anyone. She’s the one who Jesus must have meant when he said:

And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. Matthew 5:41,42

When she gave him his pay, she also presented  him with a gift, a beautiful new pair of socks in a Superman bag. When she went to his house the first time she noticed he had holes in his socks and she teased him about it.

It’s nice to see someone rewarded. To be treated with the same kindness they give back to others. It doesn’t always happen.

Our God provides.

Always.

When I moved away from my home town years ago, that safe cocoon I had lived in all my life, there were times I doubted that. But it seems everywhere I went, God kept placing wonderful people in my path.

There was Willa, who prayed for me when my sister in law’s cancer came back. And then later Ruby and Ron, who became wonderful friends when I knocked on her door one day when I ran out of Mary Kay. Many wonderful home-cooked meals were enjoyed in their home. She was my Mom away from Mom.

We are still friends to this day, and that was 20 years ago.

And then, when we moved back to Arizona the second time, at a pivotal and scary time in my career, there was Will, who came from nowhere but really I do know where. We prayed together each Saturday at work and he reignited my love for the Word. Then we met his wife and now when we all go to dinner together, the fellowship is sweet. Usually we end up laughing all night.

Will retired from Intel and is now a Pastor of a wonderful church in Chandler. And then there is Abel, another local Pastor who works three computers away. It is a blessed thing to look around and see believers sprinkled here and there. It is wonderful to know that at any moment, I could ask for prayer and they would stop what they were doing and pray.  

Yes, our God provides, in people, in provision and in grace.

Sometimes I still get fearful and forget that. But I am doing that less and less as the years go on.

To the Atheist Pinner

Confession

I awoke this morning with a prayer on my lips. Not so much a prayer than a bunch of whispers strung together in the dark. It all started yesterday with the story about the man who was taking a morning jog in the town where his girlfriend lived. Three teenage youths were sitting on a porch and one of them said, “Hey there’s our target.” And then pulled out a gun and shot Christopher Lane in the back. All because, “They were bored.”

This kind of thing is happening more and more. All these events prompt us to ask just what kind of world are we living in? What makes three teenaged youths feel like life is so bleak that they have to manufacture a murder for excitement? What brought them to such hopelessness? I see it in their eyes in the mug shots. It is so easy to hate them, their insolence. But I want to know what got them there?

There were other questions that I spoke into the half-light this morning as well. Questions like why is my own church closing down to put in new carpet and a coffee shop when I know for a fact that children are going to school hungry a few short miles away. I am having a hard time reconciling that. I am still praying about that one.

Another thought came through…….and this one was loud and clear. What am I doing with my days? How will they measure up when I am standing before God and He asks why I didn’t give a reason for the hope within me?

Then on Pinterest I ran across a pin that said “Pinned to Atheism” below it, and I had to follow the thread. Nothing I saw surprised me much, and saddened me more than anything. There was one comparing prayer to something I can’t even name here, with a picture. And there were all the references to our Old Testament God who is portrayed as a cruel old man in the sky who takes pleasure in striking people dead.

If I could talk with you, this is what I would tell you. I can identify with some of what you posted, I really can. That is, I could if I didn’t know God the way I do. And honestly, sometimes I think if we had done a better job at loving in the church it would take the sting out of your hate.

But then again, Jesus loved perfectly and they killed Him for it.

And I understand your difficulty in seeing how a loving God could ask Abraham to kill his only son. If I didn’t know the context and the whole story, and if I hadn’t personally experienced the depth and breadth and love of God for myself.

You see, Abraham had a faith and grasp of the love of God that we can scarcely understand. And Abraham had a promise in his pocket. A promise that he would be the father of a great nation. He knew that could never happen if Issac died. He also knew that God loved Issac even more than Abraham did. He trusted God with what he loved most in the world.

And God will never ask anyone to love more than He already has.

You ask, “What kind of God would do that?”

The kind of God who would love so much He would lose what He loved most to get back a people who were willfully turned against Him.

The kind of God who didn’t hesitate to volunteer Himself up for a terrible death for a people who for the most part were uncaring and disinterested.

I wish you knew Him. I wish the church did a better job at loving so you wouldn’t have so many easy targets. I did notice that none of your boards targeted Jesus. It is tough to find fault with someone who spent their entire time on earth going about doing good. If we all did a better job at following His example, I have a feeling it would diffuse some of the anger I saw on your boards.

I did notice that one of them said something like, “I don’t need a God to tell me right from wrong, I have a conscience.”

But where did that come from? Why do we instinctively know that some things are just plain wrong and nobody argues about it. We know things like murder and stealing are wrong. C.S Lewis did a masterful job at explaining that one.

As I rounded the corner on my morning walk, I saw the fingers of light come down out of the sky and I thought about the source of that light as the strains of “You Never Let Go” came through my iPod. I felt something that I feel every single day when I see that and I never ever take it for granted. The thought dropped in like a pin: “We love because He first loved us.”

I can’t imagine not knowing the source of that light. I can’t imagine how hopeless it would be to believe in nothing bigger than your own thoughts, nothing bigger than yourself and what your eyes can see around you.

I want so much for you to know my God. And if you were here I would tell you about all the things I have seen and heard and felt that cannot be explained any other way but Supernaturally. I would tell you of lives changed in the twinkling of an eye. I would tell you of the healing I received and how I will never forget it, and I would tell you how He came to me one cold and foggy December day and touched me with a love that I can never quite put into words.

I would tell you of the breadth, length, height and depth of God’s love. A love I know to be real.

And how He loves you so, even if you don’t believe in Him.