Coming Home to Gratitude

1653913231_ea52dd0e6a_o

“God reveals Himself in rear view mirrors. And I’ve an inkling that there are times when we need to drive a long, long distance, before we look back and see God’s back in the rearview mirror. Maybe sometimes about as far as Heaven–that kind of distance.” Ann Voskamp

This afternoon, I remembered something I used to do back in Arizona. It was a wonderful habit of counting out my blessings along with the community that Ann Voskamp started with her wonderful book, One Thousand Gifts. Oh, I remember those Monday posts, sitting there in my cozy home counting out my “thankfuls”fondly.

I have been struggling, really struggling to get words out. Before they used to pour out like an offering……..liquid words splashing like a drink offering on my altar to God. The well seems to have dried up but I have learned as a writer that these times are often as valuable as when words flow freely.

The move we wrestled with for so long is behind us. The stress of me starting a brand new job that I almost drove myself into despair over, behind us. I have arrived at a kind of comfort zone where the blackness now is a gray with a tinge of hope at the edges. We are settled in a beautiful spot by a river where we hear trains often, always a favorite of mine. I missed those in Arizona.

So I wondered. Why can’t I write? Where did the words go? Why, with all this beauty around me does my soul feel dampened? Where is that deep peace I had in the desert?

Could part of it be that I have brought too many other things to the foot of the cross and forgotten my gratitude? Could it be that simple?

So here in this place, on this Veteran’s Day, I will forget all about the craziness going on in the world and concentrate on counting my gifts again, for they are many: 

Little leaves floating down from Heaven, resting circles on the water.

The owl I heard the other morning

The three river otters I saw playing, mouth agape as I tried to run for my camera on Saturday morning

Cherished time spend with a dear friend and laughter that went along with it, and Kayaking on the river. 

My health…..my health…..my health. 

This new job that I wrestled with and at last come to a place of a somewhat uneasy comfort zone. 

A best friend who never stops finding ways to make living in an RV better and more comfortable, and thankful that it didn’t sell so we could live here in this incredible beauty. 

Family who is close, who I can drive or bike to see. 

Friends who have expressed joy and gladness that we are here now. 

God, who has never left me, and never will.

Thank you Ann, for starting this with your wonderful book, One Thousand Gifts. I pray that the Lord continue to bless and keep you and your family.

25 Days of Thankful: Day #1

Flag

“And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” Colossians 3:15

I have decided to start listing thanks again. I was thinking about when I used to do that as part of Ann Voskamp’s celebration of One Thousand Gifts on our blogs. Each Monday we would list our gifts of gratitude and I miss it. So today, I thought it fitting being the month of thanks and all that I would do this. Feel free to join in with your own list, either by way of commenting on this blog or FB or just write down your own list.

Each day all the way up until Thanksgiving, I will list my simple thanks. The Bible says we are to give thanks continually and in any and every circumstance. I find that a little bit of looking up and giving thanks is a lot more powerful than we give it credit for. You see, when we start giving thanks we give credit where credit is due. Being thankful gives honor and glory to God because when we thank Him for things both great and small, we recognize that all things come from Him.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17

Thankful

I got this comforter out the other day, now that the desert heat has departed I can enjoy this bit of fluff on my bed. I had forgotten just how fluffy and soft it was and the first night I covered up it was like sleeping under a cloud. It was a little bit of heaven…….

This morning, I awoke remembering my collage of dreams. I always dream big and in color and last night was no exception. I dreamed I had an accident in my car and the driver door was dented in. The door wouldn’t latch so I knew I had to take it in…..I was thankful it was only a dream. I also got to see my Grandmother’s sister Aunt Ella and my Aunt Esther. I got to hear them both talk and laugh for just a brief moment, but it was enough, it was enough that I will remember it throughout the day.

I also went swimming with my niece Lauryn and got to go to this big banquet buffet thing where perfect strangers were handing me a plate, showing me where all the food was. It was a bit like I imagine Heaven will be. Mom, Dad, my brother and Elaine also came to me in dreams last night. Dreams are so powerful and sometimes can be very comforting. It was quite a gathering of souls.

Speaking of souls, a friend reminded me that it is All Souls Day today. I had no idea.

It’s easy for us desert dwellers to be thankful this time of year, now that the temperatures are below the 100’s we can start to enjoy the outdoors again. I am so thankful for that, each time we make it through another summer we really feel like we have accomplished something.

So how about you? What things are you thankful for today?

Garland

Lent Day #11: Putting my heart through the wash cycle

IMG_4007

I head out to my car, again for some quiet time. And today I really have nothing, nada, no idea what “word manna” will come down if any. All I have is my inner assurance that something will. I have never done anything like this. It’s like a Holy experiment because I have determined that I will not write anything just for the sake of ticking one more post off the list, but to be silent until I receive something from the Holy Spirit. And like the manna that fell like snow for the Israelites in the desert, words can’t be left over. And neither can they be written ahead.

I open the sunroof and the sound of birdsong drifts in. A mockingbird is singing his heart out from a nearby Mesquite tree and clouds are blowing in. A change is in the air. The wind in the trees somehow mimics the sounds of ocean waves. Imagine that, here in the desert! God brings me the ocean even here. He loves to give us little surprises to see if we will notice.

Slowly I scroll through the Bloglists on Facebook until I get to one that leads further in to this site: www.21martyrs.com and I hear Jesus words and they stop me in my tracks and then it hits me. This is my message for today:

Dear friends, don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot do any more to you after that.” Luke 12:4
But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!

“Surely not these atrocious acts, Lord.” Then I remembered how Saul looked in approval on as Stephen was stoned to death, before the Lord called him and he was renamed Paul. Ever since I have seen those 21 paraded out before the world, I have felt a searing hate for those with the knives. After all, I am an American patriot. We go after our enemies don’t we? Yes, part of me would love to see them wiped off the face of the earth. And yet.

Don’t I call myself a disciple of Jesus? A follower of the Way?

To forgive the unforgivable, that’s what Jesus did. Even while He was still hanging on the cross. And He calls us to do the same, impossible as it may seem. One thing I do know, everyone who dies for the sake of the Gospel and for Jesus will never die in vain. I believe God is calling us to pray, more now than ever before.

And I believe that these horrific acts that continue to color the ground red will lead to Heaven’s gates swinging open to others that may never have entered in otherwise.

As I sat there in my car listening to the trees that sounded like waves, I felt like my heart was being washed clean. I felt convicted. I felt the tide of hate in me recede just a little bit. I still hate what those people did, and God does too. But Jesus had to go to the cross because of my sin too, not just theirs. For there is no “little sin” or “big sin” in God’s eyes. It’s all the same.

And I know the only way I can possibly hope to forgive the unforgivable is to do it with His power and not my own. And by believing that anyone can be redeemed.

Because I was.

Let’s all pray. Join me over the next 40 days. For further reading please check out what Ann Voskamp has to say below.

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2015/02/the-call-for-the-next-40-days-to-the-nations-people-of-the-cross/