Joy in the Morning

Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens;
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the great mountains;
Your judgments are a great deep;

O Lord, You preserve man and beast.

How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!

Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house,
And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.

For with You is the fountain of life;
In Your light we see light.

Psalm 36:5-9

The cake tells the story

After years of vain familiarity, some distant gesture or unconscious behavior, which we remember, speaks to us with more emphasis than the wisest or kindest words. We are sometimes made aware of a kindness long passed, and realize that there have been times when our Friends’ thoughts of us were of so pure and lofty a character that they passed over us like the winds of heaven unnoticed; when they treated us not as what we were, but as what we aspired to be. Henry David Thoreau

I am so thankful today that I have such a friend, and today I celebrate her life, her Birthday. There are so many things I would like to give her, so much she deserves. If I could I would give her a trip to Paris and a dinner under the twinkling lights of the Eiffel tower. And a full moon smiling…….And then I would whisper a prayer to God to have the stars do a little dance. Cause sometimes, as she so often says, sometimes you just gotta give it a little dance.

Or I would buy her an East Coast cruise to tour every single lighthouse.

What I would most like to give her right now is freedom, which she doesn’t have. Freedom to get in the car and go somewhere, anywhere, overnight. She is doing what she has to do right now, even though it is incredibly difficult. She is living what Ann Voskamp so aptly describes as the Hard Hallelujah. Where faith meets reality.

I know that every day she meets Jesus, because she can’t do it without Him. Even with Him it’s tough. This cake tells the story of her life as it is right now. Her Mom asked what the cake was for, and then for the umpteenth time, she asked her whose Birthday it was. Really, that was partially my fault. I put up the Birthday banner way too early. You learn not to do that with Alzheimer’s.

Her Mom stayed in the kitchen and Elaine figured out why soon after when she came out with a piece of cake and said, “That is good cake.” At least she said it was good.

Months ago I had put in for this day off, her Birthday, so we could hang out like we usually do on her special day. Then there was a scheduling conflict with someone else and they would have had to come home from out of state early. She said, go ahead and let him have the day. That is just how she is. That’s why I love her so.

I don’t like to imagine my life without her joy, her laughter, her unique brand of sunshine. She loves God and He loves her. She is God’s kid through and through. You can tell by what she does.

It’s in the way she loves people. It’s in all the little things she does when nobody except God is watching. She is the one who sees the baby carrier in the beat up car and finds the weary parent and slips them a twenty. She’s the one who pays for the Sonic order behind her. She’s the one who hand delivers bowls of cut up watermelon for the neighbors.

And every time she makes ice-cream cones, she makes three more to take next door.

She’s God’s kid. She notices when people need help, need to talk, need a listener. And she gets busy and does something about it. Not a dispassionate noticer, not her.

She’s my best friend in the world and I wish everyone could have the pleasure of knowing her. She is truly, the friend everyone would like to have.

I know she will be embarrassed by this, but after all, best friends are for shining the spotlight on each other. She has been shining the light on me now for 23 years, and I thank God for her everyday. Her life is a blessing.

Happy Birthday Elaine!

A Roomful of Royalty

“Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:18-20

As my feet hurriedly slapped down the stairs after work last night I was thinking about where to go. I had destinations in mind. Birthday business. Tomorrow is the Birthday of my very best friend, and as all best friends, I wish I could give her the moon. I know how tough this past year has been for her. There are so many things I wish I could do for her, so many things I wish I could give her……And she would deserve every one.

I thought…….She deserves a roomful of Royalty. A party to end all parties, a true celebration of her. Then I remembered that there will be a very special guest indeed. He is already making plans to attend. How could I have forgotten?…….Oh, Lord. I never want to forget you, please forgive me. The Holy Spirit, ever a gentleman, stands back and waits until I remember that He is the highest court in the land. Who else do we need?

It’s gonna be quite a party indeed.

Invite Him today, into whatever you are doing. He is there in the midst of it, my friend. He is the third person at your table for three, you business meeting, your commute, your life…….

Thank you Lord, for everyday with you is a celebration.

How Patient Am I?

One line of a book made me think…….”She hung up the phone.” I instantly thought of the old rotary dial phones I grew up with. I instantly remembered the way it sounded to actually hang up a phone. We don’t really hang up anymore. There’s no real finality to it. When you don’t hear that “clunk.” Used to, when you hung up, you hung up. But now, the hang up may be followed by a text…..”Nice talking to you….Oh, forgot to tell you…..” We are totally and completely connected. And then there’s Facebook and Twitter. Pinterest.

Earlier today I went visiting over at Debbie’s place and she challenged me with a question: “Just how patient am I?” I think, not very. People have told me I am very patient, and I am sometimes, depending on the situation. But lately I am surprised at just how quickly the anger can flare up when the clothing I am trying to get off the hanger wont come off. Or when I am trying to find a parking place at work and someone beats me to it.

I text while in line at the store……Not a minute to be wasted. Or I take out my phone and get caught up on Words with Friends. I wonder……I remember, how would I feel now if I had to wait for that rotary dial to finish dialing that number. I hear it in my mind, and sometimes I wish I could hear it again. I remember my Grandmother’s dial was literally worn down she used it so much. She would have loved texting.

The hang up. The pause. The reflecting on the call that just finished. It seems there are fewer and fewer pauses anymore. That’s why I think it’s important we set out to create them in our lives.

That was the whole idea of doing my blog. Creating a quiet place of rest, carving out some time to meet with God…….getting out of the fast lane of life for just awhile. We need it more and more. I am thinking that our whole society, while dedicated to saving time, actually makes us savor time less.

I think we need more pauses. What do you think?

Morning Prayer

But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit,looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.“Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Manstanding at the right hand of God.” Acts 7:55,56

From my prayer journal:

Lord, how I love my time with you. Sometimes I sit out here and I feel only myself, all my thoughts, rattling around in my head in knots of confusion. My fears jangling, the world’s emptiness weighing down my soul. Its hard to see you then, but I know it’s all okay. I know you’re still there. It’s the trust you need to build in me, and the trust I need to see in myself.

And without those times of trust and patient waiting, despite how I feel……..the sweetness of this fellowship wouldn’t be nearly as sweet, the joy not as complete. What a reward when you meet me!

How I love to sit at your feet and dream of how it’s going to be that day when finally we meet face to face. It occurs to me that maybe this enjoyment, this sweetness is all an allusion. Maybe I just don’t know any better—like if I realized just how Holy you really were, are…..I could never be here like this. Then I remember what you did to make this all possible.

I remember the cross.

And I imagine what Stephen saw when He saw the Heaven opened as he was being stoned to death. Or rather, stoned to life. I think of the joy I’ll feel when I look at you. My first response will be to fall at your feet in reverence, even fear. Overwhelmed by your Presence……your beauty.

Then I will hear that voice of many waters. The one I have imagined ever since I met you. I will hear the love pouring out, unbelievable love for me. And what wonder, what unbelievable rapture when I lift my head expecting judgment, yet seeing more love in your eyes that I ever knew was possible.

“The one thing I ask of the LORD–the thing I seek most–is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, delighting in the LORD’s perfections and meditating in his Temple.” Psalm 27:4

Multitudes on Monday

The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Isaiah 58:11

This morning I slept in until 7. I must have needed it. It has been a touch two weeks……And it’s amazing what I can do with an extra hour. I pray and collect my thoughts, read some verses, reflect on the day before and hope that something wonderful and inspirational flows out through the keyboard despite me.

It is important to create a space of quiet before the clatter of the day……..before everything starts. But today I slept away that extra hour. Now I have a cat that is resting on my arm as I type. He is usually settled at the foot of my bed by now. Right before he came in, he rushed in through the cat door meowing loudly….that was my signal to check the catboxes. Elaine had just cleaned them 5 minutes before. I stepped out to poop on the rug. I cleaned that up and settled once again in front of the keyboard.

Then Elaine’s Mom got up. She got her first halfcup of coffee. She has a routine. It goes something like this. She pours a cup (which is already warm) she scalds it in microwave then has to cool it down. I hear tap go on and half of the cup goes down the sink. She pours more coffee in because now it is not hot enough.

Peace be still…….The irritation that rises up is tempered by His grace. I feel it like a cloak that wraps around me. That is a big reason to give thanks.

This whole routine is repeated sometimes 2-3 times.

I hear the cat again out in the kitty box room. I go out and he has pooped on the rug again, he must have got inturrupted the first time, because he is still out there. That’s when I startle him and he kicks poop over the threshold. I clean it up for the second time. You have to understand, this is my cat’s only fault, he is perfect other than that. I love him dearly so it doesn’t bother me to clean it up.

I don’t remember where I was going with this post, but I do remember that it is Monday and that is a day to count my thanks. And I am thankful, because despite everything going on around me, there is a peace. I can still hear the praise of the church body from yesterday………I still feel it, He is near. The peace that passes all understanding. Once again, I experience the miraculous power that is an everyday part of a believer’s life.

Peace be still. So I count my blessings that continue to flow……..A Mom and Dad that love what I do, and tell me so. A God who loves us and brings us through……friends who support with their prayers…….One more summer out of this air-conditioner, already it is past due being replaced……Little big moments of laughter in the midst of craziness…….Sanity despite insane circumstances……A best friend to worship with, pray with, share life with…….Fresh tomatoes starting to produce, and okra and watermelon reaching for the sky…….Godly teaching from a Pastor who is not afraid to preach right out of the Bible……#900-910

And another stopping place for today, please join Duane Scott as he unwraps the promises of God……Please join me, joining him there as well……You will be blessed, I promise!

Casting our care……

……….casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

You’re hurt and still reeling from the pain of it……all you want to do is go away. Like an animal that is scared or sick, you want to find a dark quiet place and go there. The pain of it is so great you don’t even want to talk about it. You didn’t expect it, and especially from them. You reached out your hand for help and drew back a bloody stump.

I don’t know much but I do know that when your heart is aching that much, there is only One who can heal it. When you don’t want to talk to anyone else because it just hurts too much to repeat it, you can tell it to Him. He understands. One of the saddest verses in the Bible is also the most comforting to me. It is part of Isaiah’s prophecy concerning Jesus:

……He was despised and rejected–a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Isaiah 53:3

He felt that bitter ache……He identifies fully with us in that way. His own best friends deserted Him when He needed them the most. We all did. When the ones you love the most turn their backs on you, and that you don’t even know what to do with the hurt, give it to Jesus. You can trust Him with it. He is waiting with open arms.

Let Him place His healing hands over your heart today. Even our best friends can’t do that, as much as they might want to.

But He can, and He will.

He loves you dear one.

Could it possibly be?

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven–Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a reason they call it “THE CHANGE.” As in, not a change, but the change. The mother of all changes. No I don’t think I can write about this, it is too painful. I have been on the other side of the change all my life. So far, I have dipped my toes in that river that takes me to the other side, and I don’t much like how it feels.

It comes with certain symptoms that I remember seeing in my older female relatives. I am ashamed to say that I snickered when they suddenly bolted from the table, looking like might implode from the inside out. I am sure of one thing, I am much too young for this despite what I read on the Web MD. And if I hadn’t read the symptoms? I would probably just have gone on denying it.

To make it worse, when I read some of these off to my very supportive best friend, she said, “That’s nothing new, you’ve been that way ever since I’ve known you…” Ouch.

Usually once a night, sometimes more, I wake up and run for the freezer for my little handy ice wrap thingy. The other night I stumbled out there, the cats blearily looking at me, (they know by now that this is normal, and not time for food yet.)

I velcroed the wonderful coolness around my neck and feeling the chill, fell back asleep. I really don’t remember putting it on so tight, but I was really really hot. When I awoke awhile later it had lost it’s coolness and felt like a warm boa constrictor. That set off a panic attack. I turned instantly clautrophobic and when I finally wrestled it off I had to laugh in spite of myself. What must I have looked like?

It was a tough night.

I just want to know why they call it Menopause, do Men go through the change too? Not that that is what is happening to me mind you.

The Alzheimer’s Institute

I accompanied Elaine to the Alzheimer’s Institute yesterday with her Mom.We entered through a shady entry with the biggest ficus trees I have ever seen. It was eerily quiet. We were 30 minutes early. You always have to start out early going anywhere in Phoenix, you never know what you might run into on the freeway.

The doors opened and we were ushered into the land of Nod. There was one man there, a very nice man who turned on the lights for us. He even brought us coffee. Elaine’s Mom, ever grateful and right on cue said, “This is the worst coffee I have ever tasted….” Said me, “I thought it was pretty nice of him to bring it to us.”

I have to say, it was a pretty impressive setup. They even had a library full of books and resources and computers you could use. Of course I was drawn to that.

Sitting there, we watched the staff start to trickle in. When you are with Joyce you can’t be surprised at what might come out of her mouth. One skinny but well dressed woman breezed through in a flowing dress and tennis shoes. She must walk to work. Said Joyce, out loud…..”That woman has some big feet.” I don’t think the woman heard her. Elaine always says, “Someday she is going to get me killed.”

We all traipsed back when the Doctor called us out to go through the results of the question and answer session. I listened as he went through his routine. Not much was surprising or new. He was youngish, and very nice looking and had a kindly manner.

My mind was running a ticker tape of answers as he addressed them both. Inside I was shouting.

Doctor: How is the depression?

What does she have to be depressed about, she has two people waiting on her hand and foot. She has the life of a Diva right now. What about the caregiver? She is emotionally bankrupt and overdrawn?? What about our depression?

Doctor: Her weight seems good.

Of course her weight is good. Her daughter makes two and sometimes 4 meals a day for her, why wouldn’t her weight be good.

Doctor: So there plenty of family and resources around to help out? Joyce said something to the affirmative. I wanted to laugh out loud…..

No, Doctor, you are looking at the one and only resource here. And she’s running on empty.

I finally had to speak up and make sure that Elaine as the sole caregiver would get some help. He assured us that someone would be in contact within two weeks. Okay, then.

All in all I would have to say it was a positive experience. It is geared to the patient and that is as it should be, however one thing I would change is that the caregiver should also be looked at as a patient. Statistics have proven that many times caregivers develop their own health issues and even die as a result of giving themselves over totally to the one they are caring for. I think they would do well to include some time alone with the Doctor so they can talk freely about their own needs.

In the meantime, I am working on memorizing 1 Corinthians 13:1-7. God has His work to do on me……

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The Wonderful Sameness of God

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

From my prayer journal:

The wonderful “sameness” of God. It is quite a thing to contemplate. While the conversion experience itself may vary from person to person, but the end result is the same…….we are born anew, fused with a Holy God for eternity. At one point in our lives we had a crisis of soul. We had to answer the question once and for all. Am I going to walk God’s way or my way? Once we are faced with the facts, we must do something with them.

We can read the words of St. Augustine from AD 386 as he reels under the weight of his soul struggle in a garden long ago, and it resonates with us because it happened to us too and it speaks to the wonderful sameness of our God. Where it actually happens doesn’t matter, but what does matter is this……..Once the Holy Spirit taps you on the shoulder, there is no doubt about who it is that is speaking to you.

Change is now so much a part of our daily life that we think of it as normal. At any given time at work I have to be ready to change, do something different, learn something new, or train someone else on what I already know. But I can count on one thing to not ever change……God.

He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And so are His standards. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to count on.

Then you called me and cried to me and broke through my deafness! You sent forth your beam, the light of your magnificently beautiful presence. You shone your Self upon me to drive away my blindness. You breathed your fragrance upon me….and in astonishment I drew my breath…..now I pant for you! I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you……You touched me, and I burn to live within your peace. Augustine, Confessions 10

Collecting thanks today with the body of believers everywhere……..the wonderful sameness of our God, that He always hears the cries of the heart and is quick to deliver……cool morning breezes and being to still sit outside……small moments of peace that make it easier to go on…..being so thankful for being able to tell my Mom how grateful I am for her yesterday……watching little seedling reach for the sky……a fresh batch of library books, oh joy…….stories with happy endings…….being a listening ear for someone who needs it……..the surprise rainstorm we got……..the grace of being thankful when the road gets hard because God is worthy of it. #888-899

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6