My place of refuge

Psalm 18:1-3 “I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.”

Has this ever happened to you? You are in a conversation with people and it is a lighthearted and friendly atmosphere. Then a certain subject is brought up and it turns on a dime. You are on the outside because you know that you are absolutely in the minority in the conversation in your view. You feel as if you are in the middle of the backlash of a storm. You wonder what just happened and you marvel that it happened so fast. All of a sudden you’re on the outside looking in and it feels cold and lonely. It can happen anywhere, with anyone. Even your husband or wife, child, best friend…..someone in the same household. That is when it gets really tough. You can’t retreat, you can’t hide….or can you? Psalm 46:1 gives these comforting words: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I love that it says, “very present.” As in right there with you when things are going down that catch you completely by surprise.

It happened to me today and it was very uncomfortable. I wondered what God wanted me to learn in it, and then I realized he wanted me to do what I always do when I want to rid myself of hurt and anger. Pray. I took a deep breath and prayed for a spirit of love, forgiveness and understanding. The Holy Spirit came through, came down, calmed my heart and mind, again…….

I realized that they aren’t the enemy, they are just people……. and yet, I felt the mark of the enemy on it just the same. I felt his cold breath just outside of the circle, waiting to see what I would do. The truth is, sometimes people just aren’t nice. Like my Mom always says, “People fall into generally two categories, nice and not nice.” I would have to agree.

Early will I seek You….


“Let all who take refuge in You be glad. Let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, so that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with favor as with a shield.” Psalm 5:11,12

“In all things that I contemplate as I am consulting You, I find no secure place for my soul except in You. And in You, I pray that what is scattered in me may be brought together, so that no part of me may be apart from You. Sometimes…when You are working within me, bringing my scattered self to You, You draw me into a state of feeling that is unlike anything I am used to…a kind of sweet delight. I know that if this spiritual state were made permanent in me it would be something not of this world, not of this life.” Augustine – Confession 10

My all surrounding Father, how my soul is tempted to search for the meaning of my life in the love of others; to look for security in money and possessions; to strive for acceptance in service and good works. Now I see how these can be temptations, open doors through which my spirit slips out from within you Self in order to trust in my own strengths. I close those doors right now, and place my soul inside your tender might. Here alone with you, I draw together all my concerns…all my responsibilities….all that is broken and scattered and needy…My soul is fed and medicined with goodness from your hand!

Devotional reading by David Hazard, taken from “Early will I seek you.” 40 day journey in the company of Augustine.

Grace in action

James 1:27
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

On a February evening in 1998, the secretary of Living Springs Assembly of God Church in Glendale, Arizona got a call from a needy family; a request for food. When volunteer Trudy Calabrese found out there were 4 children in the home, she decided that the need was crucial enough that she go alone, so she got in her truck and went to the home of John and Kara Sansing. This is what happened next in the words of John Sansing:

“I grabbed on to the church lady who brought
me food to help my family. When I grabbed the lady, I
crossed the line. It was like no turning back.” Next,
Sansing tied her up, raped her, robbed her and
murdered her. Kara Sansing helped restrain Calabrese
as his children listened in a nearby room. He then
dumped Trudy Calabrese’s body behind his house.

John and Kara had been smoking crack cocaine at the time and robbing Trudy was a way to get more, but then it all went terribly out of control. During the attack, when John left for awhile Trudy pled for her life, to be let go. Kara refused.

I remember when this happened. John and Kara have been in prison now for years, John on death row. But this is the part of the story I didn’t know until recently. A family in the church stepped up and formally adopted all 4 of those precious children, the boy now in college.

The wife of my co-worker was best friends with Trudy and usually went with her on home deliveries. She didn’t go that night and it still haunts her even now. He shared all these facts with me one day when something came on the news about the case when we were at work.

Trudy served in the military, but she died on a very different battlefield. She will be remembered, is still remembered. No doubt it would have made her very happy to know that the family who adopted those children kept them all together. They wanted to give them every chance for a somewhat normal life. I honor that family today. I pray that the scars that these children had to bear from what they witnessed and heard, have been healed over with the love and grace of God and this family. I honor Trudy today, I pray for the ones in her family left behind, that they may have continual comfort knowing she is safe in the arms of God.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:7,8

Grateful for Grace


Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast.”

Thankful today for God’s grace….the grace that leads to salvation.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17….

I have seen it happen many, many times, this modern day miracle and it never gets old! I have seen lives changed, transformed dramatically with just one decision. The most important one we will ever make.

Jesus called it being “born again.”

What it is, is conversion. Blinding light with closed eyes conversion. It is the power that struck Saul on the road with that same blinding light and turned him, former “Christian persecutor” into Paul, a “Christ-follower himself’; and one of the greatest evangelists the world has ever known.

It is me sitting in the back seat after going to a Billy Graham crusade and knowing that the next Sunday I would walk down the church aisle and start my journey with Christ. It is my Dad, walking down the same church aisle, (the one he said he would never walk down) at around 45 years of age. It is my best friend who accepted Christ in my small apartment, seeing as she said, “a white light” through closed eyes. A heart-change, a life change.
It is going from death to life in one decision. One step that leads to life……

What it isn’t:

Seven habits of highly successful people
Following a set of laws
Going through the 12 steps
Being in church everytime the doors are open
Doing good works
All noble things, and yet…..they won’t get you the relationship with Him This Grace is peace #239, knowing your final destination #240, strength for this life #241, someone always having your back (God)#242, it is being able to throw someone who is drowning a life-preserver #243, it colors everything in this life with meaning #244, it is life eternal with God who loves me!#245 It is Jesus giving His all for you and me!#246 It is being a part of the family of God #247
Find out more here!

Join Ann along with the rest of the gratitude community here to continue counting our blessings…..
holy experience

Not a tame God


“I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lamp stands, and among the lamp stands was someone “like a son of man,” dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.” Revelation 1:12-18

When I read that verse I get lost in the power and majesty of God. I think, “Who can possibly stand up against this God of wonder and absolute justice? What hope do we have? The closest physical thing I can compare His power to is the lightning storms we have here in Arizona. Unless you are very foolish, you don’t want to be anywhere close to where it strikes. (I confess I have been in this category at least once playing storm-chaser, I love watching lightning.)

But then I read…..”For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” Psalm 103:14 That verse fills me with undeniable comfort. He knows my every weakness. This God of the universe knows me intimately. “Thus He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and does not return.” Psalm 78:39 I am no match for Satan, but there is One who is, and He faced him down in the desert long ago. When Satan looks at me he sees someone he cannot have. He may desire to “sift me like wheat” as he did Peter, but his tether is only as long as God allows. My soul is kept safe in His Almighty hand forever!

“and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” Ecclesiastes 12:7

My soul has been bought and paid for, and to its rightful owner it will return someday, to the One who has redeemed me forever! The Bible says it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God, but we have been redeemed by God Himself and we have nothing to fear!

I think C.S. Lewis hits it right on the head with this quote from Chronicles of Narnia:

Lucy is sad that Aslan is going away but Mr. Tumnus insures her that he will be back at some point. Mr. Tumnus: “Don’t worry. We’ll see him again.” Lucy: “When?” Mr. Tumnus: “In time. One day he’ll be here and the next he won’t. But you must not press him. After all, he’s not a tame lion.” Lucy: “No… but he is good.”

Our God may not be tame, but He is good!

Get in the closet!


I couldn’t believe I found this image on Google. This is the exact little lantern that I have in my prayer closet (shed)

I have fallen into an interesting rhythm with my prayer times. I notice that it has become extremely necessary; something I miss when I don’t get it. I miss my time with Him like I would miss someone I really love if I were away from them.

I would want to get on a plane, make a phone call, drive all night, just get there, be with them, drink in their presence, look into their smiling eyes. It has become something I need. Not a duty, or a requirement. But a privilege!

When I work my long shift and don’t have the time in the mornings I feel a pull toward evening to go out….light my candle for a few moments, thank Him for the day, and for His indwelling comfort, making everything possible.

Sometimes days are so packed with activity that we have to remind ourselves to take a breath! Caregivers experience this all the time. During those times our very actions become like prayer. Niches of prayer carved out here and there, when someone is sleeping, or perhaps when driving somewhere, red light prayer, standing in line prayer. But God hears them just the same.

I am thankful, so thankful for this. It has made me closer to Him, more able to trust Him with my life, more able to encourage others to take this step. It settled into my life gradually and quietly, this habit of prayer, and changed me forever.

“But you, when you pray, enter into your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father which is in secret; and your Father which sees in secret shall reward you openly.” Matthew 6:6

Diary of a bookstore junkie


We enter the bookstore and I am transported to my happy place, I gaze at the displays much like a diabetic at a See’s candy store. So many stories that beg to be brought to life in the reading! We head for the racks, a free afternoon and the possibilities are endless. Stress evaporates like a vapor. I am drawn to the tables, arms laden with treasure. Too good to be true, a table in the corner….we can’t believe our fortune as we unburden ourselves and settle in. Life is good today. This is one last grasp at the weekend before it all starts over again, we seize it, cherish it. One of mind and spirit, we will know when it is time to go without speaking, and the time will be right.

We fall in to the rhythm of page turning, enjoying a little slice of life here in this corner of the world. People watching is part of the fun. A college student nearby, stacks of papers ripped out of her binder, her pager nearby as a reminder of outside responsibilites. The number display is faced away from her, as if she doesn’t want to be reminded it may go off at any moment. A man with his back to us laughed out loud every once in a while, attracting stares as he did so. An elderly couple teetering to a table complained about the price of the coffee and cookies they had just bought. College girl’s pager goes off and she goes to use the payphone, coins clinking as she feeds them in.

It is tempting to eavesdrop as two older gentlemen sit down nearby and complain about the Rio Salado Project and living in Mesa in general. One of them says, “My wife doesn’t know it yet, but we are putting our house up for sale, then we are outta here.” I wonder when he will let her in on this?

Pages continue to turn, stopping every now and then to share what is interesting; we drink up the wonderful rhythm of sounds, the whir of the cappacino machine, rising and falling of conversation, the rustle of pages, all blending in and around background music. I sense that these are very precious times to be cherished. What a gift to enjoy these simple things with a like-minded person I treasure.

“Hey,” she says, glancing toward the display, “Did you see those chocolate cupcakes.”

“Yes,” I say, “I saw them when we came in.” I have the peripheral vision of a squirrel when it comes to spotting chocolate.

“Do we dare?” She says.

“Yes absolutely,” I say, “A perfect day like this calls for it.”

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1

Counting answers….


I recently bought a prayer journal. I have always kept a journal, but as I finished my last one awhile back I sensed the need to close that particular way of journaling. Having a blog has fulfilled something in me that journaling once did, plus I have a weakness in my right hand that makes it impossible to write for a prolonged period of time.

I love this taking note of prayers. It makes me realize how many things I have taken for granted; how many prayers He has answered through the years that I have forgotten. But I don’t want to forget.

When you really start to pay attention to what you pray and how many times He answers, it fills you with a gratitude that does something to change you from the inside out! It’s like what happened just this morning. I was struggling as usual in my prayer time. Many times I have been wondering when I am going to start my “real ministry” my “life’s work”, you know, that undefinable “thing” that God really wants me to do. I prayed when I turned fifty last year that I wanted to make the second half of my life count for eternity, really put my life on His altar.

Here it is 6 months later, and not much has changed, or has it?

I wondered, what am I really doing for Him? Who am I impacting? What do my small words matter? Maybe you feel the same things as you walk your child to school, fix a meal, clean the house, commute to work. My answer came as soon as I opened my email this morning! It might as well have been sent from Heaven.

I realized through that email that whatever we do, if we do it as unto the Lord, He blesses it. When we are a child of God that little thing matters because He sees our heart, our true motive. He takes that action that we might think is very small, and multiplies it with His Holy Spirit. He sanctifies every action and makes it an act of worship. Because we love Him, he notices it! That other person is blessed too as a result. So take heart today, you may feel your many tasks go unnoticed, but God notices every one!

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.” Col. 3:23,24 NLT

He answered my prayer this morning in the words of a dear friend who has been blessed and comforted by my blog. She and her husband are going through a very scary health issue right now. Just the fact that I can give her any comfort at all, means the world to me.

So I am counting answers to prayer today, starting with this morning’s email #231, my brain worked last week and I learned some new things at work #232, Mom has turning point with her knee #233, I did not have to do the task I was dreading at work #234, my brother is having success with his diet #235, good prayer times #236, blessings of more rain on the roof #237,Praying with gratitude that He hears every one #238 and sometimes just trusting in the silence is an answer……..

Join Ann along with me and many others here to continue counting our gratitude:
holy experience

Not just a good teacher…..

These are some of the things I have heard people say about Jesus…..

“He was one of the great moral teachers of our time”
“I believe He was a very charismatic individual and a great leader”
“A very great religious leader and someone we can look up to”

Here is what He says about Himself:

“I and the Father are One” John 10:30

“Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; so how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?”

And here is what God the Father says about His Son!

“But of the Son He says: “Thy Throne O God, is forever and ever and the righteous scepter is the scepter of His kingdom, Hebrews 1:8 and also, Hebrews 1:10 “Thou, Lord in the beginning didst lay the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the works of Thy hands;”

This puts Him smack dab in the middle of creation! Equal with God!

And of course, there is that empty tomb…..

Jesus said, “Mary!” Turning to face him, she said in Hebrew, “Rabboni!” meaning “Teacher!” Jesus said, “Don’t cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I ascend to my Father and your Father, my God and your God.'” Mary Magdalene went, telling the news to the disciples: “I saw the Master!” And she told them everything he said to her. John 20:16-18

I celebrate with Mary today….

Spring is coming

Daffodil Hill, Sutter Creek, California

On the news today I saw New York once again buried in snow. I am sure they feel that Springtime is not on their horizon anytime soon.

But eventually it will happen. Snows will melt, green shoots of life will appear, everyone will start to thaw out, all the storms will be a distant memory.

I used to love Valentine’s Day in California because all the daffodils and tulips would start to break through the brown soggy earth. We would all feel hopeful that is really was coming. Then sometime in March, all the cherry and peach orchards would burst through in clouds of color. It was glorious while it lasted but then many times the March winds and rains would come and knock all the blooms off! In April we would go out and buy our new Easter dresses, hoping against hope for a warm sunny Easter. Sometimes we would get it, but I remember just as many times, running from the car, raincoats over dresses, wrestling with umbrellas that bent upwards against the onslaught of wind.

But we would always know that Spring was coming.

Here in Arizona, it always feels a bit like Spring, so sometimes I actually forget what time of the year it is! (Except for summer of course) So for me, Spring will officially start Monday March 1st. I have promised myself a new Easter wreath and my Easter flag will go up as well. I do these things with a smile, remembering other Springs, and pray that the east coast will get some relief soon.

For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; Song of Solomon 2:11,12

Anyone have any favorite memories of Spring?