From death to life…..

“In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life;” Romans 6:11-13

I wasn’t going to listen to Romans this morning on the way to work. I thought…..I listened to this last week. I have heard it all before…..But I forgot one very important thing about God’s word. It has staying power, the power of life in it. It never fails to bring life to the hearer. As I listened to the words of Paul again, speaking under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I began to get chills up and down my arms.

I was hearing it against the backdrop of everything we have been through these past many months

I got a picture in my mind of impassioned Paul, speaking in front of a courtroom, striding back and forth. One moment Prosecutor of sin, the next brilliant public Defender of the faith, (as if it needed any defending.)

As I listened to the first 6 Chapters the words flowed over me and I reflected on the past 3 days…..that’s where the chills came in. We can go through anything, my friends, because we are a people who have been brought from death to life. That’s how we roll.

That is the reason for the hope that lies within us. That’s the thing that makes it possible to rise up in the morning and do it all again, and with an attitude of hope that no circumstance or person can ever stamp out. That’s the brilliant backdrop, the reality that we can’t see with our eyes, but that we feel with every fiber of our being.

Each one of us knows the truth. We were built to last. Though our bodies are perishing, our God stamp……our spirit, our soul will live on. And one day, we will rise, as He rose, with new bodies. Bodies that can live in God’s world, with Him forever. What a tremendous hope!

 “Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” 1 John 3:2-3

And He is with us now. As I look back on the past few months, I cannot deny God’s hand at work….we have talked about it, Elaine and I. I have stood beside her, helping her to navigate this particular valley of death. That’s what it has felt like anyway.

Dealing with all the stress of a Dad with dementia, one minute angry and accusatory, the next minute apologetic….

His move into a rest home……..

Her Mom’s move in with us…….

Learning to live under the same roof with Alzheimers and everything that goes with it……

The emptying out of their house, which we did ourselves, with the help of some very helpful “angels” to cart off some of the biggest items, finishing only just last Tuesday.

Moving everything left into storage.

And finally, the sale of their home…..I can only say that God has been glorified through it all, because we know the truth of these words……”I will never leave you or forsake you……and He hasn’t…..and He won’t.

And in between all these lines there is the everyday life, the toughest part. Where the nitty-gritty battles are fought day in and day out. The fatigue and stress of living with someone who has lived their whole life through a prism of negativity. The life you escaped from.

I look back in disbelief at what we did……the three of us.

I look ahead with hope, because He showed us again that He will never leave us.

How did we do that?

Ever look back and wonder how in the heck you got through something? All you can do is look back in disbelief and amazement and say, “How did we do that?” The wonder comes when you look back and see God’s hand in it every step of the way…..It has been that kind of a week. I fully intended to post today, but I have been in the midst of two difficult days at work. It is still going on……

Remember the book…..Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? I lived the title yesterday, and so far it is better but still very challenging at work. I fully intend to make it to the other side and post with a bit more detail tomorrow…..

I promise.

But for now, my brain is fried, I just had to really think about how to spell “kind.” My left eye is twitching, and my teeth ache. I think I am grinding them at night. “SIGH”

I see the light at the end of the tunnel…..looking forward to going home.

Peace and blessings to you all, Lori

Praying Always……

“Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—” Ephesians 6:18

“Prayer, and only prayer, restores my vision to one that more resembles God’s. i awake from blindness to see that wealth lurks as a terrible danger, not a goal worth striving for; that value depends not on race or status but on the image of God every person bears; that no amount of effort to improve physical beauty has much relevance for the world beyond.” Philip Yancey

I was on my break the other day at work, and decided to sit in my car a bit and listen to the radio. I was just in time for David Jeremiah’s Turning Point which I used to listen to all the time. He was talking about prayer and reading from one of Philip Yancey’s books. In it, he described a man, a desperate alcoholic who prayed and prayed to be released from his terrible cravings, and yet every morning his first thought was not God but Jack Daniels. At one point in his process of prayer he realized that it was God’s mercy that kept the desire there. He realized that the prayer was changing him from the inside out.

Ever prayed for something for so long that you wondered whether it was doing any good at all? I know I have. But then I realize something else. Maybe that change in myself or someone else is not happening as fast as I think it should, but while I am praying about it, something else is changing.

I am drawing near to God……..my faith is not weakened but strengthened. My frustrations in what I feel are unanswered prayers draw me to the Word of Life……and that in turn gives me the peace I need to wait……because I know in the waiting, something very powerful is happening.

And be assured, that thing you’re praying for will happen when the time is right……

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13,14
I join with many today in the Gratitude Community…….#700-710
Thankful list: Hanging onto cool mornings for a bit longer, answered prayer about the sale of a home, green offerings from the garden, snatched times of peace away, continued good health, air-conditioner on borrowed time that still rumbles to life, good health of my parents at 81,82, beautiful Arizona sunsets, laughter, always laughter that has continued even through stressfulness of caretaking…..friends who pray.

holy experience

We’re All A Bit Difficult

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35

In a recent conversation I said, “The frustrating thing about people is, you can’t make them do the right thing, that’s why I like animals,” I said. She smiled and scoffed,”You can’t even make your cat do the right thing, that’s not a good analogy for you.” I took offense to that because, well…..she was right. The truth is, I spoil him! He jumps on my lap while I am trying to post, he steals my chair when I get up from the table, and he would snatch food right off my plate if I let him.

But it’s easy for me to look past all that because it is easy to love him. He follows me everywhere. He greets me when I come home at night. He circles around my feet when it looks to him like I might sit down, and then he plops into my lap and turns upside down…..one very blissful cat.

It’s the same with people I love…….It’s easy to overlook their faults and little idiosyncracies, even lavish them with affection, because I love them.

But what about strangers? What about someone I don’t know? What about the difficult people in my life, your life? Those porcupines.

What makes dealing with them so frustrating? Because I can’t make them behave the way I think they should. I can’t make them do the right thing, make the right decisions. BEHAVE.  

And because I don’t love them, even though God says I must.

When I am describing “difficult people,” it’s always those people out there. I naturally assume that I am not one of them. It’s a finger pointed outwards, accusingly. We have all worked with them, sometimes even lived with them. Maybe you live with one now. You know the kind……
Complaining, egocentric, selfish, negative, narcissistic, disagreeable, argumentative…….It would be oh so easy to just cross them off. But I can’t.

Because God doesn’t cross me off. No matter how many times I disappoint Him.

Probably, most “difficult” people don’t think they are difficult. And there are times, I am sure, when I am difficult for others to deal with……. and very difficult to God.

Because I know how much slack God gives me each and every day, how much He has lavished on me…….it helps me to deal a bit less harshly with the porcupines in my life. I can only hope.

God reminded me of this today when I was busy complaining to Him about someone else.

Explaining Light

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5
Einstein could explain just about everything about how light works, but he couldn’t explain the source of light itself, where light originally came from…..”And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.”
The visible spectrum is the portion of the electromagnetic spectrum that is visible to (can be detected by) the human eye. Electromagnetic radiation in this range of wavelengths is called visible light or simply light 
Source: Wikipedia
We have all these fancy technical explanations about how light works, but until we know the source of the light itself, we will remain in darkness, no matter how well we can explain the theory.
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” John 8:12
I wish for you a sun-dappled path today, and illumination for each situation you encounter. I pray that His healing touch will be a balm to your weary soul and that you will be saturated with His peace. May you feel His grace resting within you, and may you find a quiet place in the sun to rest for a moment as He gives new strength to your bones and joy that touches your heart.

“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6

The Desert Speaks

For the LORD’s portion is His people;
Jacob is the place of His inheritance.
“He found him in a desert land
And in the wasteland, a howling wilderness;
He encircled him, He instructed him,
He kept him as the apple of His eye.
Deuteronomy 32:9,10

Monday was a tough day……It was a day where months, actually years of stress caught up and culminated in words that have been bottled up far too long. It had to be said……and she had to get out. So we went…..fast. Destination: Anywhere but there. Caregivers of the very demanding understand this need to escape.

Who knows whether the words stuck. They were probably forgotten within 10 minutes.That is the thing with Alzheimers, you never know what sticks and what doesn’t. She is not at the stage where she would be in danger alone……yet, although that will come. So we went.

No one tells you. The rules change daily. What is okay one day is met with anger and denial the next. A day trip was necessary, crucial…..sanity was precariously balanced on the edge of a very fine line.

Grabbing my camera I said, “Let’s go to Globe, they have old buildings and it’s not too far away.”

And God gave one of His unexpected little surprises, well actually two. A call came on her cell while we were driving around……cousin Sandra, two states away. A welcome voice from someone who understands the situation and everyone involved. Healing balm for a hurting heart.

Driving along I saw some pretty plants and a sign that said, “Botanical Gardens.” We stopped and found a neat surprise there, a place called  Besh Ba Gowah “Place of Metal” Archaeological Park. The name is referring to the mining that took place there. It was an old Salado pueblo ruins that had been excavated and partially reconstructed.

We paid our 4 dollars and were invited to watch the 15 minute video, which we skipped. My camera was itching in my hands….God gave a gift……Sometimes He speaks in desert blooms. It was like He was saying……….”This is for you………”

and so is this……..

This one reminded me of a fire-cracker…..

As we walked through, we heard the Spirit speak in birdsong…..saw the glory of Him in the blooms that even thorns do not prevent…..
heard His whisper on the breeze,
Telling us all the while that He loved us and longed to give us rest……
In His Presence……
it was very good.
Thank you, my friend. I am so glad you insisted we get away.
You knew how much I wanted a camera day.  
It was one of those God things that it turned out like it did.

Pics from ’round here…..

Our Lady of the Blessed Sacrament, Miami Arizona
Some other interesting buildings in Globe, Arizona which is close to Miami. Yes, there really is a Miami, Arizona….some palms but no water!
Globe is one of those funky old mining towns that popped up during the late1800’s and early 1900’s. I love some of the old buildings there including this one with the pyramid shaped steps.
The Old Globe Courthouse
Courtyard of Blessed Sacrament Church
and this was the funniest thing I saw…..
Rent is real cheap, provided you aren’t afraid of heights! If you can’t climb you’re out of luck!

"I Don’t Think I Can Do This"

I don’t think I can do this……

Sometimes that’s all you can pray. That’s what my prayer was this morning. But there is nothing wrong with praying that way. Actually, that is what our prayer should be every day. Because as soon as we think we can do it, that is, anything without Him. We are done for.

All the great men and women history down through the ages have either thought that, or prayed that.

“But Lord,” Gideon replied, “how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!”

“But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” Here is the Lord’s reply after Moses insisted that he was not eloquent enough to speak to the people: The LORD said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

Moses went, and God graciously allowed Aaron to go along, as his mouthpiece……..

And Jesus didn’t waltz His way to the cross, He agonized over it……When He prayed to let the cup pass in the garden that night, that was an I don’t think I can do this prayer. But He did it for the joy set before Him. He had the end-result in His sights.

And as I reflect on what every soldier going into battle must have felt like today, I add this gratitude to my list:

Freedom……

I am thankful today for every person all through the years and up to this very day, every soldier fighting for our freedom and liberty.

For every gut-wrenching, “I don’t think I can do this” prayer they prayed…..

For every tear shed for the ones they left behind, both then now.

I say, Thank you for doing it for me, for us, for our freedom.

Because of them, I can stand on my two legs, walk, run, breathe the free air,….and live, work and worship without fear.

My list has grown to #700…………..and counting.

holy experience

Remedy for Regret

The way I see it, one of the best ways to minimize regret both now and in the future is to cherish the present.  Nothing makes you feel more acutely the weight and passage of time more than knowing that you weren’t fully living it when you were there. The thing is, it takes time to learn that. I think of times spend with loved ones and I want desperately to get that time back because I know where my mind was back then. Too many times it was distracted……or I was irritated by some small thing.
Or focused on myself. I wish I could go back……redeem it somehow.  
Now that I have reached fifty plus two, time feels like an out of control river rushing under a bridge, and me watching from above. Instead of focusing on what time I still have, I get caught up in time I see already gone. It’s like trying to drive by watching the rear view mirror.

I lose sight of what is still to come, and there is so much more.

I think it is a mistake to think that once you get a certain age, the best years are behind you. Every stage of life is important and necessary and of great value and each season carries it’s own unique lessons. And when I think of eternity, all I see is an ocean of time with an giant expanse of more joy and peace than I can possibly imagine. 

I am determined to live more right here in the present. I confess, this week my focus has been on just getting to the end of the week. I started the week already looking ahead to the weekend…..I wonder now what moments I stole from myself or someone else…….

That is the best way I can think of to let the people in my life, and God know that I truly cherish them……

Right now.

First two pics are from google
Last two were taken of niece Lauryn by her big “Sis”

Congratulations Graduate!

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5,6 

Congratulations to one special graduate today…..
Cassandra: You came into our lives and hearts as a little girl with bundles of energy and giggles…….you brought us “older” folks some spark and light. A barefoot girl, you didn’t like shoes much, could barely keep a pair on you….well, that part hasn’t changed much! We marveled at how who loved to watch TV upside down. It seemed for awhile there, you were either running, screaming, twirling, or hanging upside down.
On one of our first introductions, we had a tea party and gave ourselves flower names. You made us laugh when you kept insisting we go back to the kitchen for real sugar, real milk, real tea. No pretending for you….I still have the picture of the three of us, you Elaine and myself, you with your pinky up and cup facing straight down.
In some ways I suppose I will always see you a bit like that, spinning around on the swing, hair flying. Making the neighbor boy sick when he tried to spin as fast as you…..Being pushed by Ivy the goat, also on the swing. I remember watching movies together and you falling asleep as I read aloud from whatever book I was reading at the time.
You passed me in height, which I realize is not saying much, me being vertically challenged the way I am. You grew into a beautiful young woman when I wasn’t looking, and I want you to know I am proud of you.
Proud of your work ethic, your sensitivity to others, your giving heart.
Hold your head high tonight, and savor the moment.
Realize that these are the times that we all wish we could go back to, if we only knew then what we know now. Pick a career you have a passion for, and don’t settle for anything less. When you love what you do, it won’t feel like work.
I will miss seeing you walk across that stage tonight, but I know you will have the love and support of friends and family to cheer you on. We will  be cheering too, from Arizona.
Remember us when you walk those halls in college, going about your day. Pause and remember when you feel a gentle breeze, that it is my prayer touching you on the shoulder.
The best advice I could give you to carry you through to adulthood is to hold God close and keep your Bible handy. If you do that, you will be at peace whatever happens. You will make mistakes just like we all do, but you have the character to get back up and keep going. And always remember:

“Angels on your pillow……………..Angels in your dreams!”
Aunt Lori

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.” Sandra Carey