Walking with God

Secret Places of the Heart

Mount Angel Abbey, St. Benedict, Oregon
The basic response of the soul to the Light is internal adoration and joy, thanksgiving and worship, self surrender and listening. The secret places of the heart cease to be our noisy workshop. They become a holy sanctuary of adoration and self-oblation, where we are kept in perfect peace if our minds be stayed on Him who has found us in the inward springs of our life. And in the brief intervals of over-powering visitation we are able to carry the sanctuary frame of mind out into the world, into it’s turmoil and fitfulness. Powerfully are the springs of our will moved to an abandon if singing love toward God; powerfully are we moved to a new and overcoming love toward time-blinded men and all creation.

Thomas Kelly 1893-1941 (Excerpt from A Testament of Devotion)

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:7-10

Can anyone relate?


“For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live,” Romans 8:13
God has been working with me to take better care of my “temple.” It started a few years ago when The Spirit spoke to my heart about my drinking and I was finally ready to hear the truth. I was a habitual drinker, and if I wanted my walk with Christ to be real, I couldn’t be dependant on anything but Him.

Several weeks before Easter the church I have been going to started a Daniel fast. My friend and I talked about it and didn’t feel led to participate, but I wanted to give something up….I wanted to sacrifice something that I knew I would really need his help with. I had been trying to cut down on sugar anyway, so I thought this might be a boost to a new way of life. As a lifelong sugar addict, I knew it would be a real test. I have been known to hide candy in my closet, in drawers…. I had stashes!

So, I gave it up for four weeks! There were tests, but God held up His end, as always. I even bought 3 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for co-workers and had NOT ONE. Anyone who knows me knows how big that was. But……For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Hebrews 4:15

I did it! And I felt great, I actually started eating fruit, I never ate fruit before. This was a whole new way of life for me and I never could have done it on my own.

The biggest thing I noticed is that the cravings went away. Well, for the most part. The other day it hit me like a tidal wave. I had nothing sweet in the house, but then I saw it. The can of frosting in the pantry. I had it open and had two spoonfuls before I could stop myself. I had two more all the way out to the garbage can! Sometimes putting the flesh to death is like beating a snake with a garden hoe, but it can be done! I can do all things through Christ….

Now for the exercise part…….
”No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:2

My place of refuge

Psalm 18:1-3 “I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.”

Has this ever happened to you? You are in a conversation with people and it is a lighthearted and friendly atmosphere. Then a certain subject is brought up and it turns on a dime. You are on the outside because you know that you are absolutely in the minority in the conversation in your view. You feel as if you are in the middle of the backlash of a storm. You wonder what just happened and you marvel that it happened so fast. All of a sudden you’re on the outside looking in and it feels cold and lonely. It can happen anywhere, with anyone. Even your husband or wife, child, best friend…..someone in the same household. That is when it gets really tough. You can’t retreat, you can’t hide….or can you? Psalm 46:1 gives these comforting words: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I love that it says, “very present.” As in right there with you when things are going down that catch you completely by surprise.

It happened to me today and it was very uncomfortable. I wondered what God wanted me to learn in it, and then I realized he wanted me to do what I always do when I want to rid myself of hurt and anger. Pray. I took a deep breath and prayed for a spirit of love, forgiveness and understanding. The Holy Spirit came through, came down, calmed my heart and mind, again…….

I realized that they aren’t the enemy, they are just people……. and yet, I felt the mark of the enemy on it just the same. I felt his cold breath just outside of the circle, waiting to see what I would do. The truth is, sometimes people just aren’t nice. Like my Mom always says, “People fall into generally two categories, nice and not nice.” I would have to agree.

Not a tame God


“I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lamp stands, and among the lamp stands was someone “like a son of man,” dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.” Revelation 1:12-18

When I read that verse I get lost in the power and majesty of God. I think, “Who can possibly stand up against this God of wonder and absolute justice? What hope do we have? The closest physical thing I can compare His power to is the lightning storms we have here in Arizona. Unless you are very foolish, you don’t want to be anywhere close to where it strikes. (I confess I have been in this category at least once playing storm-chaser, I love watching lightning.)

But then I read…..”For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” Psalm 103:14 That verse fills me with undeniable comfort. He knows my every weakness. This God of the universe knows me intimately. “Thus He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and does not return.” Psalm 78:39 I am no match for Satan, but there is One who is, and He faced him down in the desert long ago. When Satan looks at me he sees someone he cannot have. He may desire to “sift me like wheat” as he did Peter, but his tether is only as long as God allows. My soul is kept safe in His Almighty hand forever!

“and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” Ecclesiastes 12:7

My soul has been bought and paid for, and to its rightful owner it will return someday, to the One who has redeemed me forever! The Bible says it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God, but we have been redeemed by God Himself and we have nothing to fear!

I think C.S. Lewis hits it right on the head with this quote from Chronicles of Narnia:

Lucy is sad that Aslan is going away but Mr. Tumnus insures her that he will be back at some point. Mr. Tumnus: “Don’t worry. We’ll see him again.” Lucy: “When?” Mr. Tumnus: “In time. One day he’ll be here and the next he won’t. But you must not press him. After all, he’s not a tame lion.” Lucy: “No… but he is good.”

Our God may not be tame, but He is good!

He saw you….


“He saw you cast into a river of life you didn’t request. He saw you betrayed by those you love. He saw you with a body that gets sick and a heart that grows weak. He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring into the pit of your own failures and the mouth of your own grave. He saw you in your own garden of Gethsemane and he didn’t want you to be alone … He would rather go to hell for you than to heaven without you.”
— Max Lucado

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:9-11

He loves us, He really loves us! Hard for me to comprehend a God having this kind of radical love. The same God who can create and destroy with a breath would actually go to these lengths to save me and bring me back to Himself…..there are no words to express it.

Holy Places

Love this photo taken by Jenn posted on Arizona Central

This is typical of the weather in Arizona. I had blue sky on one side last night coming home and a black cloud on the other….blessed blessed rain. I know many tire of it, but not us. We need it, we crave it, we long for it!

There was a chill in the air this morning so I put on my “big” robe from L.L.Bean, the one that never fails to take the chill off.

As I lit my candle in my prayer closet, also known as the shed, I looked around. I love this place because He meets me here; amongst the tools, garbage can, shelves filled with storage boxes, saws, Christmas decorations, and everything else that can be crammed into a very organized 10 x 15 room! Anyplace can be Holy where God is, and He is everywhere!

I heard the mourning doves calling as I opened the little door window. I sipped my first cup of coffee and prayed, “Thank you Lord, that I can share my first cup with You.” He smiled.

I think He loves my prayer shed too.

I heard the morning bird call and then….could it be? I heard little gentle rain drops blessing me with their presence. I kept praying. It was a troubled prayer because it was something I was worried about. Then, as if God made His reply in the rain, it came magically, steadily, beautifully down on the roof.

I lifted my arms in praise, that is answer enough for me, Lord! I didn’t miss it today…..thank you God for giving me this moment, a Holy moment. I got to sit and listen to the rain in Your Presence.

What an unspeakable gift.

I’m glad He picked the early morning light to come back from the grave in. Thank you Lord, for the hope of the morning.

Church Las Vegas style


He (God) works on us in all sorts of ways. But above all, He works on us through each other. Men are mirrors, or “carriers” of Christ to other men. Usually it is those who know Him that bring Him to others. That is why the Church, the whole body of Christians showing Him to one another, is so important. It is so easy to think that the Church has a lot of different objects – education, building, missions, holding services… The Church exists for no other purpose but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became man for no other purpose. It is even doubtful, you know, whether the whole universe was created for any other reason. C.S. Lewis

When you think of Las Vegas many images come to mind, Elvis, The Chapel of Love, Wayne Newton, Elvis, Siegfried and Roy, The Strip, Elvis…anyway, usually you don’t think of church. Recently we went to visit friends and family there, that being the halfway point between Boise, Idaho and Mesa, Arizona. We had a great time walking, well actually it was more like trotting, up and down the Las Vegas strip. With two kids and two (younger than I) parents of said kids, trying to fit in as much fun as possible in 3 days, I would recommend it as a great workout. Thankfully they had 4 tickets to the wax museum which we happily skipped so we could rest our aching feet for an hour!

I happened to be browsing through the tourist leaflets in the RV resort lobby when I noticed that they offered a church service on Sunday mornings at 11. In the Hollywood ballroom no less! We were met on Sunday morning by a gentle soft-spoken Pastor named Ed Hernandez. We sang familiar praise songs led by he and his lovely wife, both originally from the Philippines. As we went around the room and introduced ourselves I was struck once again by the fact that perfect strangers could feel like family. I guess because we really are! I pray that they will be greatly blessed by their good works. I am thankful they are there and I told them so. I am now putting the Desert Oasis Church on my prayer list, and when I think of Las Vegas I will think of Pastor Ed and his family, doing God’s work in the middle of Neon Desert Oasis.

The Peace of God


We have a God who is infinitely good and who knows what He is doing. He will come and deliver you from your present trouble in His perfect time and when you may least expect it. Hope in Him more than ever. Thank Him for the strength and patience He is giving you, even in the midst of this trial, for it is evident mark of His concern for you. Encourage yourself with His love and thank Him for everything. Brother Lawrence

In my prayer journal today…..

Thank you God for hearing all the prayers of my heart, mind and soul. The ones on my lips and the ones deep beneath the surface that only You can hear. Thank you for bringing Your family together at times when we may least expect it. May we draw encouragement from one another as pinpoints of light in a dark world.

Help me to shine forth your love so that others may be drawn to You, O Lord. Help me more and more, to be a living sacrifice for You as Paul was, knowing that you will never ask anything of me that You and I together can’t handle. I need not fear, knowing that You will lead me slowly gently at my pace and not someone else’s.

Help me to lay all of my trust in You God, knowing that Your gentle Hands are forever cupped around me, keeping me safe; knowing that whatever this world throws at me, it has to pass by You first.

“The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by him; and the Lord shall cover him all the day long, and he shall dwell between his shoulders.” Deuteronomy 33:12

Good report!


God does not exist to answer our prayers, but by our prayers we come to discern the mind of God. Oswald Chambers

“Cancer free!” Those were the Doctor’s words this morning…..possibly one of the best phrases anyone could ever hear. My best friend heard it today after her latest ultrasound. I feel as if I have had a brush with death myself, that it was me and not her that narrowly escaped it. But when you go through it with them everything they feel is echoed by you. When it’s someone so close, you take the deep exhilarated breath of relief right alongside them. Their fears become your own. So does the relief and joy when the outcome is good.

I wonder about me. Why was I so ready to hear bad news? I know I serve a mighty God and that I prayed for a healing so why am I so conditioned to prepare for the worst?

Going through the last week of this has changed me. My sense of compassion for others going through this has sharpened, all of life has become more precious. My soul is more keenly aware of others still waiting, trying to navigate through this particular shadow of fear.

I will carry this sense of heightened compassion with me; I pray I will not lose it. I pray also that it will be good news for others as it was for Elaine. I am thankful that God will keep them all in His palm of love.

Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things. –Thomas Merton

"The something else factor"


I finally went to see “Avatar” and I was not disappointed. This was my first ever IMAX experience and now I really wish I had gone to pay the extra money to see Lord of the Rings in 3D. I was captivated by the special effects and it is always fun to be whisked away to another world for awhile. Coming out of the theater entering what seemed to be a very dark, drab world after all that vivid color, light and sound was strange.

People have been captivated with what I call the “something else” factor since the very beginning. Billions of dollars have been spent researching other planets and possible other life forms. We just know there has to be something or someone else out there! Eve was no different. She thought there was “something else” too and she had everything. Imagine for just a moment, the world she lived in. It was idyllic, perfect, it could not have been improved upon. All the moisture came up from the ground so it was a very tropical environment, no worry about the elements, the temperature was perfect. They didn’t have to worry about being cold, or too warm. The animals were their companions and friends, as yet there was no need to fear humans. Great creatures we can’t even imagine stalked through the brush. They listened to the music of the angels, they experienced colors that don’t even exist down here. They lived in the light of the very Presence of God Himself, they actually walked with Him in the cool of the evening…..Who needs anything else? Right?

But she thought God was withholding something from her; “something else.” The Bible says the “serpent” was “more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord had made.” We are not talking ugly snake here, we are talking a very intelligent, otherworldly, and very beautiful creature here. The Bible says Satan worked through this beautiful creature as he always does, by masquerading as an angel of light. The rest is history. The painful result is the world we live in today.

But here is the miracle and wonder of God. He is in love with this world and He came down Himself to get us back. He will also come back again to make all things new. Once again, it will be perfect. That world, God has promised will never end. When we really see that, this world becomes transformed right before our eyes. We begin to live with what my former Pastor Gary Kinnamon called the “eternal perspective.”

Jesus said, “The kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” He looked at this broken world and He knew it needed fixing, so He left a perfect place and made a way for us to join Him there, forever! Whatever magic a filmmaker can dream up today pales in comparison to what God has prepared for us!

“But as it is written, Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love him. But God has revealed them unto us by his Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” 1 Cor. 2:9, 10

Please join me in prayer today for the people of Haiti……