Christian living

A little bird told me

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31

This verse comes just about in the middle of Chapter 10 when Jesus is sending His disciples out two by two. I take comfort in how many times He told the disciples not to fear. I guess I shouldn’t take comfort in that, that they feared, but I do. Let’s face it, the world out there can be a scary place.

Each day He sends us out too, and we never know who or what we might run into.

I guess that’s why I like birds……they remind me that God takes record of every one that falls from the sky and He is taking care of me too.

When I look at this little guy, a little ordinary brown sparrow, I see a master Designer at work. I see a hundred different shades of grey, brown, tan. I look at how the feathers fold so neatly together, how those little feet can grip just about anything. Perfectly suited to their environment.

God has placed His Own Spirit within us, so that we may be totally effective. Not only that, like this little bird, when we are controlled by the Spirit, we are perfectly suited to go out into the world and be God’s hands and feet. But it’s a battle, no doubt about it. At times I read that list of the gifts of the Spirit and I see where I am glaringly lacking.

There are far too many times I take the Spirit places He should never be, with my thoughts, my words, my actions.

And yet, still He strives with me.

Sometimes I pretend, it’s just me and Jesus. And He’s giving me a pep talk in my morning prayer. That is what it really comes down to, every day.

Me and Jesus face to face. And In that moment when I meet Him, the world falls away, and nothing else matters. When He looks in my eyes, He sees my heart.

He still wants me.

Getting Small

Sometimes, when life gets overwhelming, it’s a good thing to shrink yourself down and get close to a tree……and remember when you were small and the world was a very magical place where you believed leprechauns hid behind trees and watched you, and fairies played with fireflies at dusk.
You have to get small again and open your ears to what God wants to say in the deep silence.
He is saying, “See here……I have created all this beauty that you walk by everyday, just so you will know that I am here,
I have not left you and I never will.

I have made my mark and written my name across everything I have created…….and I made the moon so that you could look upon my face and be reminded and be comforted.”

At times like these, I know why Jesus called His Spirit the Comforter……Just when I feel left out in the cold, like everyone “gets it” but me…..He comes and warms like a fire from the inside out.

His touch cures the ails of this world like nothing else can.

Just for today

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 4:12-14

My prayer journal this morning:

Just for today, Lord, help me to embrace this day, knowing that each day holds hope with You. Help me not spend too much time in the past or future, for that robs the present. Too much time thinking about the path behind me leads to over-analyzing and regret that paralyzes my actions today. I want to see today in full color, Lord and not miss the moment.

And help me also, not to waste time worrying about the future. Try as I might, I can’t see what’s around the bend. And if I try to run ahead, I realize that is not part of Your plan. Every time you obscure what I am so desperately trying to figure out.

Help me to learn the lesson of the manna…….only enough for one day and one day only.

You have placed me right here in this present and it’s no accident. You meant for me to be right here. In this decade, year, month……day…..moment.

These moments are manna…….while fluffy manna floating down out of Your hand, a precious gift.

I can eat my fill of everything you give me, right now today, and now that I will have enough tomorrow and the next, until I am where You are. Help me to honor you by staying in this present you have given me, and know that I can treasure the past and look forward to my future.

Knowing it is secure in You.

Grace Blows Through Our Days

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Not only that, He rose for us too……In light of those two facts, everything else in this life can be worked out. Some days are good mostly all the way through, but the average day holds a bit of everything mixed in. Just living in this world is a challenge. Yesterday was a hodgepodge but overall it was good. The usual worries cycled through my head on the way to work. I started to pray and stared off into the road ahead, my thoughts veer off as I hold study to the wheel.

The weather was beautiful and a bit cloudy, all the more beautiful since May and June are coming, and that’s when the heat starts.  In my heart are the usual faces I send up into the throne of Grace.

I think of my brother, who works for The City of Stockton, a whole city on the brink of bankruptcy. He is caught like so many loyal employees, in the middle. Unsure of his job, unsure of his retirement, having to decide whether to let go and move on, or stay onbeard a sinking ship. A dear friend texted me yesterday, going through many hardships with a son, so much hurt, so much hardship, I could feel the pain in the middle of all the words flashing across my phone…..And my dear friend battling daily her own health issues as well as her Mom’s Alzheimer’s…..

And no matter how someone says, “It’s not really them, it’s the drugs…..it’s the Alzheimer’s…..it’s the whatever” that’s doing it, you still feel the betrayal, the indifference like a knife in your heart. You still feel the fatigue of moving through quicksand each day.

And yet…..there are moments of joy, moments of grace wound throughout our days. We know we are more than conquerors, after all, it’s in the very lifeblood and DNA of our faith and it will not let us go. God gives us a supernatural hope that makes it possible to go on…..even be an encouragement to others.

There was an NPR article about the City of Stockton on the net yesterday and I felt a pang in my heart….so many good people who worked so hard to make a downtown, a marina, a beautiful park where people would want to come with their children, enjoy the weather, live life, and now it is all in jeopardy due to gross mis-management and politics and who knows what all else.

And when my brother got home to tuck into the meatloaf my Mom had made, she said he had a quizzical expression as he said, “Did you do something different to this?” Right away she knew what it was and burst out laughing. She remembered being sidetracked when she saw the syrup bottle on the counter right by the meatloaf. It was left out. And you know that when you have a special needs child around, you have to be on your toes. Lauryn had decided that the meatloaf needed a sauce…..a syrup sauce. In her mind it made perfect sense. Oh how I wish I could have been there watching her when she did it.

In the process, she gave her Daddy and Grandma, and me, when she told me about it last night, a good laugh.

And right then, we felt God’s good grace in what a little girl did.

Thoughts

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. 1 Thessalonians 4:11

There is something divine about the simplistic beauty of doing tasks around the house……around the yard. There are times when everything you set out to do seems thwarted by some sinister being you can’t see, and then there are those times where everything flows and there is a rhythm in it. One task leads to another and there is supreme satistaction that comes when a task is complete. A peacefulness.

That was today.

I wonder about the time when I will no longer be able to “do.” I think that Jesus will come back before then but I really don’t know. The way the world is going, I don’t think He can keep from coming down and straightening this mess out for very much longer. But that’s just me. I wonder about the “full number” the Bible talks about. I picture Jesus on His throne in His Nikes just waiting for that magic number to come up, and Him coming down here faster than a lightning bolt.

I wonder about the trumpet blast. I wonder if I will really be ready or if he will catch me off-guard. Every now and then I go to a movie on a Sunday, and I sincerely hope He doesn’t come back on one of those times. I have just enough Baptist in me not to want that to happen.

Funny the thoughts that float around in this little ‘ole mind of mine.

That’s me today, just thinkin thoughts and writing them down…….

Whatever else happens in this life, there is one thing that looms large on a day like today…..

Because of this one event.
Our lives were saved, changed, transformed
forever more.
He is Risen,
So we will rise too!
But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive. 1 Corinthians 15:20-22
God took the sting out of death forever, and I think the reason that the earth quaked the day Jesus was crucified was that Satan was having a big fat fit.
He knew the tomb would soon be empty.
He knew he had lost.
Have a Blessed Resurrection day, from Lori’s Prayer Closet.

Remembering…….

It is close of day……..Maundy Thursday evening. The evening He gathered with His friends for the last time. Work is done and the events of the day settle around me…floating down like dust moats in my mind. Every Easter week that comes around I wish once again that I had it off…..not just Sunday, the whole week.

I look up services on Maundy Thursday and I lament the days gone by, where businesses really did close on Good Friday. It seemed right and it felt good to live in such a world, such a town, such a time that did this. Things seem different now. People rush around as if they don’t know what day it is, and sometimes I get caught right along with them, stupified about what I thought I needed at Walgreens.

But as I work all the way up to Sunday, I will exchange the upper room for some quiet moments in my prayer closet, and tomorrow, that darkest of days,  I will take a quiet walk on my break and thank Him again for doing such a monumental thing for this world. For me. For you.

I wonder how in the world He thought we were worth it, but I am so glad He thought we were.

I will wish for clouds to cover the sun tomorrow because that seems right too.  But this is Arizona after all, and the sun will most likely be shining brightly overhead. And that will be right too, somehow. Events will unfold and we will be distracted as we go from one thing to another.

More than likely we won’t have enough time to reflect on what it all means. We are in the thick of life, work, kids, traffic, deadlines and bills. But this is what really matters. That in those moments when we pause and thank Him, we will feel Him close. We carry our upper room right along with us and He is there. Right there in the midst of us.

Tomorrow I will carry Him with me, and He will carry me mostly.

In my moments of remembering, I will picture the silhouette of a lonely cross against a stormy sky and a earth that quaked in revolt at such an impossible event……..the creator and Lord of the universe on that same lonely cross. And a small band of very sad followers at the foot of it.

And John pulling Mary close as Jesus says, “Woman, behold your son…..”

In every thing I have to do, in between all those things, in between my every breath, every step…..He will be there with me. And I will rejoice because the reality of Easter is this,

He lives!

Extraordinary Life……

“Dear God,
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?
Please help me to gradually open my hands
and to discover that I am not what I own,
but what you want to give me.” Henri Nouwen
 
 
When the little slip of paper came around to volunteer at church, I happened to notice a little box right next to help out in the special needs class. It was as if that choice alone of all the other choices was outlined in bold, yet I know it wasn’t. I remembered my words, I said…..”every big church should have one.” Because of my niece Lauryn, I’m sensitive to it. I think it’s important that people with special needs have a place in church, a class all their own, an option like everyone else.

I felt the Lord give me one of His nudges. “If you support it so strongly, maybe you should help out.” I checked the box and prayed while my little slip was passed along with the others down the aisle. Because I knew I had to. Because I knew the Extraordinary Life class was something out of my comfort zone. I like safe, I like predictable. The truth is, sometimes the world feels out of my comfort zone.

Dear God forgive me, I didn’t even know what hand over hand drawing meant when I talked to Amy on the phone and she told me a bit about the class. As I saw shortly after I got there, it means you put your hand over theirs, coloring in what they cannot. What would it be like to have a child who can’t do the simplest things? Those things we all take for granted. I thought of Lauryn and how she can do just about anything physical and yet in her brain there are many words still fighting to get out.

As I put her little hand in mine and we colored in the outlined cross on the paper, it had to be purple, her favorite and also my niece’s favorite too……. I suddenly felt the impact of what that meant……hand over hand.

Just like God takes ours and does the impossible.
And another curious thing I felt? My own weakness as well as her own. I didn’t want to hurt her hand, and I didn’t know if how I was holding it was comfortable for her. I complimented her on her beautiful nails, which her Mom, (it turned out to be Amy, the same lady I talked to on the phone) painted a brilliant sparkly deep red with a hint of pink.

And then there was Kathleen,  who had quite possibly the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I had ever seen, framed with wonderfully long dark lashes. In them, I saw the whole sky of Heaven. I have a feeling she sees more than the rest of us combined. She was 33 and all of 70 pounds soaking wet, also wheelchair bound. She smiled at me and I smiled at her. At that moment, I saw the Lord looking back. In her hands she clutched onto two balls, one in each hand. It was clear that she didn’t want to let go of them.

She loves the song Jesus Loves Me…..they say her face lights up when she hears it.

As I looked at her little fists so tightly wrapped around what made her feel better, I thought of all the things I kept closed around my fists too, for fear of letting go.  I understood how she felt. In some ways we are not so different after all. 

These parents, these kids. These are the ones who teach the lessons. The ones the world so often calls the least of these. One thing I am sure of, Jesus loves them this I know, and I also know they are somehow closer to Him than I am.

Even so, I know He loves me too.

Photo credit: Google images

In our shoes

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it……..

That Word had a name and His name was……is……Jesus. That same eternal Word at one point became flesh and dwelt among us, left His perfect world so He could walk for awhile in our shoes…..On our shores.

There is so much mystery in this that we can scarcely contain it. But we believe it, and somehow it all makes perfect sense. And once again we are walking Jesus last steps on this earth as we remember what He did for us. Once again, we try to grasp  what it must have been like to be there in person. To listen to those words, hear the crowds, feel the same dust between my toes that He did.

I put myself in the disciples place and know within my heart of hearts that I would have scattered too. I would have watched dumbfounded and horror-stricken in the garden as my best friend, one who knew me inside and out, more than anyone ever had was led away like a common criminal. Knowing I did nothing to stop it because I was frozen in place by fear.

With the newfound knowledge still pulsing in my veins, singing through my soul……remembering how He broke the bread, how I felt the burning in my heart, the knowledge that here was God in the same room with me, with us. Still feeling that as the torchlight retreated and the garden was swallowed in darkness.

As night closed around us, we had no idea that Easter was only two days away.

Today and everyday we remember with Gratitude that our Easter did happen. Each and every day, we feel it again as we rise to new life in Him.

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy……1 Peter 1:8

Knowing that my one little life is of immense importance to Him……..He cared so much about you and I that He would die the worst of deaths and suffer separation from His own Father…….Knowing that no matter what, I never have to be alone again…….He prays for me even now before our Father in Heaven……I have been pardoned and am free from condemnation……..Knowing that everything I do interests Him…….I have the freedom to read my Bible and attend church without fear……When we talk about the word, Heaven is opened He writes it down…….He is preparing a place even now…….and though so many things we see and experience may not be fair, one the day He shows up, all will be made right in an instant. #856-866

A Song in the Night

It was one of those tossing and turning nights. I seem to have a lot of those lately. A bleary glance at the clock told me it was 2:30 AM. And faintly I heard something that sounded like a bird singing…..Singing, at that hour! At first I thought it was one of those alarm clocks that sound like birdsong. My Dad had one that went through the whole repertoire of a mockingbird. Incredulously I staggered outside into the cool night.

The stars were bright overhead and it was so quiet, except for the unmistakably loud sound of a real live mockingbird singing its heart out in my neighbor’s lemon tree. It was so early the morning commute hadn’t even started yet. Don’t birds only sing at sunrise? This one’s internal clock was surely off, I thought.

Every morning since, I have heard it. The earliest recorded time was 1:30 AM.

At first I was a bit ticked off. I get up at 4 on my work days and every hour of sleep is precious.

But today, God spoke to me as He often does in that still small way He has. He said:

This little bird is singing at my own direction, and who are you to tell it that its not the right time? When is it wrong to sing of My glory, to sing just for the sheer joy of singing. Don’t I welcome any prayer, any song, day or night? Am I ever too busy to rejoice when one of my creatures is singing, do I ever turn away from your song?

And I don’t know if there is such an expression of a heart that pangs, but my heart did pang as I rolled down the window this morning in the dark just to hear my little friend sing.

A tear threatened, when I thought of all the times I have squashed another’s enthusiasm…..a song they longed to share, because I was too busy wallowing in my own problems to open up my heart, my ears, and truly rejoice with them.

And I thought….how I stifle my own song, how I rob someone of the joy of hearing it. Me, for thinking it’s not worthy of singing. Then, and this one last thought is painful……of voices long stilled, and how I would give anything to hear them again, no matter the day or the hour.

Thank you little bird, and thank you God. For using one of your creatures to instruct me once again…..