Author: lorisprayercloset

Heart Searching


“Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test.” 2 Cor. 13: 5,6 NIV

I wonder…..is my prayer time genuinely reflecting on God or on myself and what I can get out of it? Has my offering become something self-made, something I have constructed for my own purpose? Just a good habit? Maybe this evaluation is part of the purpose of prayer, part of the process, part of the “working out of our salvation” that Paul talks about. It is good to reflect, in fact, the Bible says to do this: “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test.” 2 Cor. 13: 5,6 NIV

What is the motive behind my actions? My prayer? That is what God sees, not just the words I use. Sometimes we need to go back, check our motives and start again. This is the beauty of what prayer is. Chance after chance to come and sit at His feet again. Jesus taught us….there are two things we have to do; “To ask with right motives and to ask for what aligns with His will……” 1 John 5:4,James 4:3

So I go back out and start again, with an open heart; hoping I can find the courage to walk out into the world and let Him change me, to hear and obey what He whispers during the praying. He is infinitely patient with us and is always ready to listen.

Lord, may I pray with my eyes and heart open to Your Word, for this is where I find the perfect reflection of You. Though the heart can be misleading, Your Word never is.

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

Daffodil Sunday

I wandered lonely as a Cloud
That floats on high o’er Vales and Hills
When all at once I saw a crowd
A host of dancing Daffodils,
And the Lake, beneath the trees,
Ten thousand dancing in the breeze.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Outdid the sparkling waves in glee: —
A Poet could not but be gay
In such a laughing company:
I gaz’d–and gaz’d–but little thought
What wealth the shew to me had brought:

For oft when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the Daffodils. William Wordsworth

I have always loved daffodils, they seem so courageous to me, hopeful and optimistic they come up through the cold, hard earth that seems unwilling to surrender its grip on winter….they insist that spring is coming, and how can you argue with such beauty?

They warm from the inside out!

And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” Isaiah 6:3

My place of refuge

Psalm 18:1-3 “I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.”

Has this ever happened to you? You are in a conversation with people and it is a lighthearted and friendly atmosphere. Then a certain subject is brought up and it turns on a dime. You are on the outside because you know that you are absolutely in the minority in the conversation in your view. You feel as if you are in the middle of the backlash of a storm. You wonder what just happened and you marvel that it happened so fast. All of a sudden you’re on the outside looking in and it feels cold and lonely. It can happen anywhere, with anyone. Even your husband or wife, child, best friend…..someone in the same household. That is when it gets really tough. You can’t retreat, you can’t hide….or can you? Psalm 46:1 gives these comforting words: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I love that it says, “very present.” As in right there with you when things are going down that catch you completely by surprise.

It happened to me today and it was very uncomfortable. I wondered what God wanted me to learn in it, and then I realized he wanted me to do what I always do when I want to rid myself of hurt and anger. Pray. I took a deep breath and prayed for a spirit of love, forgiveness and understanding. The Holy Spirit came through, came down, calmed my heart and mind, again…….

I realized that they aren’t the enemy, they are just people……. and yet, I felt the mark of the enemy on it just the same. I felt his cold breath just outside of the circle, waiting to see what I would do. The truth is, sometimes people just aren’t nice. Like my Mom always says, “People fall into generally two categories, nice and not nice.” I would have to agree.

Early will I seek You….


“Let all who take refuge in You be glad. Let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, so that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with favor as with a shield.” Psalm 5:11,12

“In all things that I contemplate as I am consulting You, I find no secure place for my soul except in You. And in You, I pray that what is scattered in me may be brought together, so that no part of me may be apart from You. Sometimes…when You are working within me, bringing my scattered self to You, You draw me into a state of feeling that is unlike anything I am used to…a kind of sweet delight. I know that if this spiritual state were made permanent in me it would be something not of this world, not of this life.” Augustine – Confession 10

My all surrounding Father, how my soul is tempted to search for the meaning of my life in the love of others; to look for security in money and possessions; to strive for acceptance in service and good works. Now I see how these can be temptations, open doors through which my spirit slips out from within you Self in order to trust in my own strengths. I close those doors right now, and place my soul inside your tender might. Here alone with you, I draw together all my concerns…all my responsibilities….all that is broken and scattered and needy…My soul is fed and medicined with goodness from your hand!

Devotional reading by David Hazard, taken from “Early will I seek you.” 40 day journey in the company of Augustine.

Grace in action

James 1:27
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

On a February evening in 1998, the secretary of Living Springs Assembly of God Church in Glendale, Arizona got a call from a needy family; a request for food. When volunteer Trudy Calabrese found out there were 4 children in the home, she decided that the need was crucial enough that she go alone, so she got in her truck and went to the home of John and Kara Sansing. This is what happened next in the words of John Sansing:

“I grabbed on to the church lady who brought
me food to help my family. When I grabbed the lady, I
crossed the line. It was like no turning back.” Next,
Sansing tied her up, raped her, robbed her and
murdered her. Kara Sansing helped restrain Calabrese
as his children listened in a nearby room. He then
dumped Trudy Calabrese’s body behind his house.

John and Kara had been smoking crack cocaine at the time and robbing Trudy was a way to get more, but then it all went terribly out of control. During the attack, when John left for awhile Trudy pled for her life, to be let go. Kara refused.

I remember when this happened. John and Kara have been in prison now for years, John on death row. But this is the part of the story I didn’t know until recently. A family in the church stepped up and formally adopted all 4 of those precious children, the boy now in college.

The wife of my co-worker was best friends with Trudy and usually went with her on home deliveries. She didn’t go that night and it still haunts her even now. He shared all these facts with me one day when something came on the news about the case when we were at work.

Trudy served in the military, but she died on a very different battlefield. She will be remembered, is still remembered. No doubt it would have made her very happy to know that the family who adopted those children kept them all together. They wanted to give them every chance for a somewhat normal life. I honor that family today. I pray that the scars that these children had to bear from what they witnessed and heard, have been healed over with the love and grace of God and this family. I honor Trudy today, I pray for the ones in her family left behind, that they may have continual comfort knowing she is safe in the arms of God.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:7,8

Grateful for Grace


Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast.”

Thankful today for God’s grace….the grace that leads to salvation.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17….

I have seen it happen many, many times, this modern day miracle and it never gets old! I have seen lives changed, transformed dramatically with just one decision. The most important one we will ever make.

Jesus called it being “born again.”

What it is, is conversion. Blinding light with closed eyes conversion. It is the power that struck Saul on the road with that same blinding light and turned him, former “Christian persecutor” into Paul, a “Christ-follower himself’; and one of the greatest evangelists the world has ever known.

It is me sitting in the back seat after going to a Billy Graham crusade and knowing that the next Sunday I would walk down the church aisle and start my journey with Christ. It is my Dad, walking down the same church aisle, (the one he said he would never walk down) at around 45 years of age. It is my best friend who accepted Christ in my small apartment, seeing as she said, “a white light” through closed eyes. A heart-change, a life change.
It is going from death to life in one decision. One step that leads to life……

What it isn’t:

Seven habits of highly successful people
Following a set of laws
Going through the 12 steps
Being in church everytime the doors are open
Doing good works
All noble things, and yet…..they won’t get you the relationship with Him This Grace is peace #239, knowing your final destination #240, strength for this life #241, someone always having your back (God)#242, it is being able to throw someone who is drowning a life-preserver #243, it colors everything in this life with meaning #244, it is life eternal with God who loves me!#245 It is Jesus giving His all for you and me!#246 It is being a part of the family of God #247
Find out more here!

Join Ann along with the rest of the gratitude community here to continue counting our blessings…..
holy experience

Not a tame God


“I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lamp stands, and among the lamp stands was someone “like a son of man,” dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.” Revelation 1:12-18

When I read that verse I get lost in the power and majesty of God. I think, “Who can possibly stand up against this God of wonder and absolute justice? What hope do we have? The closest physical thing I can compare His power to is the lightning storms we have here in Arizona. Unless you are very foolish, you don’t want to be anywhere close to where it strikes. (I confess I have been in this category at least once playing storm-chaser, I love watching lightning.)

But then I read…..”For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” Psalm 103:14 That verse fills me with undeniable comfort. He knows my every weakness. This God of the universe knows me intimately. “Thus He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and does not return.” Psalm 78:39 I am no match for Satan, but there is One who is, and He faced him down in the desert long ago. When Satan looks at me he sees someone he cannot have. He may desire to “sift me like wheat” as he did Peter, but his tether is only as long as God allows. My soul is kept safe in His Almighty hand forever!

“and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” Ecclesiastes 12:7

My soul has been bought and paid for, and to its rightful owner it will return someday, to the One who has redeemed me forever! The Bible says it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God, but we have been redeemed by God Himself and we have nothing to fear!

I think C.S. Lewis hits it right on the head with this quote from Chronicles of Narnia:

Lucy is sad that Aslan is going away but Mr. Tumnus insures her that he will be back at some point. Mr. Tumnus: “Don’t worry. We’ll see him again.” Lucy: “When?” Mr. Tumnus: “In time. One day he’ll be here and the next he won’t. But you must not press him. After all, he’s not a tame lion.” Lucy: “No… but he is good.”

Our God may not be tame, but He is good!

Get in the closet!


I couldn’t believe I found this image on Google. This is the exact little lantern that I have in my prayer closet (shed)

I have fallen into an interesting rhythm with my prayer times. I notice that it has become extremely necessary; something I miss when I don’t get it. I miss my time with Him like I would miss someone I really love if I were away from them.

I would want to get on a plane, make a phone call, drive all night, just get there, be with them, drink in their presence, look into their smiling eyes. It has become something I need. Not a duty, or a requirement. But a privilege!

When I work my long shift and don’t have the time in the mornings I feel a pull toward evening to go out….light my candle for a few moments, thank Him for the day, and for His indwelling comfort, making everything possible.

Sometimes days are so packed with activity that we have to remind ourselves to take a breath! Caregivers experience this all the time. During those times our very actions become like prayer. Niches of prayer carved out here and there, when someone is sleeping, or perhaps when driving somewhere, red light prayer, standing in line prayer. But God hears them just the same.

I am thankful, so thankful for this. It has made me closer to Him, more able to trust Him with my life, more able to encourage others to take this step. It settled into my life gradually and quietly, this habit of prayer, and changed me forever.

“But you, when you pray, enter into your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father which is in secret; and your Father which sees in secret shall reward you openly.” Matthew 6:6

Diary of a bookstore junkie


We enter the bookstore and I am transported to my happy place, I gaze at the displays much like a diabetic at a See’s candy store. So many stories that beg to be brought to life in the reading! We head for the racks, a free afternoon and the possibilities are endless. Stress evaporates like a vapor. I am drawn to the tables, arms laden with treasure. Too good to be true, a table in the corner….we can’t believe our fortune as we unburden ourselves and settle in. Life is good today. This is one last grasp at the weekend before it all starts over again, we seize it, cherish it. One of mind and spirit, we will know when it is time to go without speaking, and the time will be right.

We fall in to the rhythm of page turning, enjoying a little slice of life here in this corner of the world. People watching is part of the fun. A college student nearby, stacks of papers ripped out of her binder, her pager nearby as a reminder of outside responsibilites. The number display is faced away from her, as if she doesn’t want to be reminded it may go off at any moment. A man with his back to us laughed out loud every once in a while, attracting stares as he did so. An elderly couple teetering to a table complained about the price of the coffee and cookies they had just bought. College girl’s pager goes off and she goes to use the payphone, coins clinking as she feeds them in.

It is tempting to eavesdrop as two older gentlemen sit down nearby and complain about the Rio Salado Project and living in Mesa in general. One of them says, “My wife doesn’t know it yet, but we are putting our house up for sale, then we are outta here.” I wonder when he will let her in on this?

Pages continue to turn, stopping every now and then to share what is interesting; we drink up the wonderful rhythm of sounds, the whir of the cappacino machine, rising and falling of conversation, the rustle of pages, all blending in and around background music. I sense that these are very precious times to be cherished. What a gift to enjoy these simple things with a like-minded person I treasure.

“Hey,” she says, glancing toward the display, “Did you see those chocolate cupcakes.”

“Yes,” I say, “I saw them when we came in.” I have the peripheral vision of a squirrel when it comes to spotting chocolate.

“Do we dare?” She says.

“Yes absolutely,” I say, “A perfect day like this calls for it.”

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1