When I crept out to my prayer room this morning, the world looked washed out. It was mirroring what I felt on the inside.
Even the sunrise, always my favorite time of day, seemed dull and unspectacular. There is a fine coat of dust everywhere from recent storms that makes everyone want to run for their blowers or hoses. I am burned out at work………I am in one of my ready to quit and move to the coast and open up a used bookstore moods.
If you have been a Christian longer than a year or so, there will be days like this. Days you don’t feel like praying. But you do it anyway. There will be days when you don’t see the burning bush behind every bloom, the resurrection in every sunrise. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t so. There will be times you get up and do it anyway because you know that even though you don’t feel it? It’s still there.
He’s still there.
That’s the point when you’re faith becomes something real. When faith comes before feeling.
Today is one of those days for me and it’s okay. I have lived long enough to see and feel many miracles, and I know they are unfolding right now even as I write this. I have learned to be grateful for these times because it lets me know that what I believe is not based on feeling but on fact.
And another thing I have learned is that gratitude is the quickest way I know to let the light flood back in. And not just hollow thanks, mind you……thankfulness born out of knowledge of what He’s already done, doing right now, and doing in the future.
But as it is written: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
That’s where I am today. A little bit in the clouds.
A little bit flat. And it’s okay, because I know my God and I know that when He says He’s preparing something? That doesn’t only mean the distant future.
It may mean in the next five minutes.
So I wait hopeful and sure.
Because I know my God and I know He always has another miracle in store. For you, for me.
He can’t help it, it’s just what He does.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen……..Hebrews 11:1
Lori's Prayer Closet 
I had a similar moment earlier this week. I’ve learned over a lifetime that it is vitally important to honor those moments and feel the feelings. Be quiet and receptive and listen. When I do that, I eventually pinpoint what is causing the moment of disquiet. I don’t always find a remedy, but I do come to understanding of what has caused the issue to attempt to set up housekeeping. I’m not a proponent of ignoring or medicating (or self-medicating) when something hurts. I want to understand it so that I can deal with it. In another reality, I would have been a psychologist or a medical researcher. In this life, I’m a writer and a student of the human condition. 🙂
– Dawn
Dawn…..it seems in our world today we are so quick to fix, to medicate, take a pill, go escape, but we can’t always do that and that’s okay. We take God wherever we go, so in Him we don’t have to be afraid of those times when they come. I agree, usually you can pinpoint the source if you do a little investigation. You would have been a very good psychologist or researcher…..I guess that is part of what writers do, dissect our hearts, minds, souls and write it all out on paper until it makes some kind of sense!