It’s been about 49 years and I can tell it is still one of his most cherished memories of our time together. It’s one of mine too.
As I called him last night, his Birthday night, he told me he loved the post I wrote and then he paused, thoughtful and said, “There is so much more…..” I said, “Yes, you could never fit all those memories into one post.”
And sounding younger even as he said it, “I still have that picture…..of you climbing Half Dome, and the other one, of me running behind you when I was teaching you how to ride a bike.”
And just like that……
All the years between now and then vanished and I was 6 again. I was hearing me say, “Dad……are you still holding on?” Gripping the bars, fighting my fear, afraid to fall, and doubting he had me.
And all these years later I heard “Yes, I am……I’ve got you Lori, you’re doing great!”
And this morning as I remembered, I fled to the bathroom squeezing my eyes shut, trying to staunch the tears that threatened to overflow. The whole memory has left me an emotional mess.
Because I know that even as he said he had me?
He had let go……even though he was afraid too.
The hardest thing about loving is letting go. And letting someone let go.
I think of the times my Father has told me the same thing……..”I’ve got you Lori, you’re doing great.” And the tears don’t seem to want to stop flowing here at my desk today.
His love is deep, His love is wide, and it covers us, His love is fierce, His love is strong, and it is furious………”Furious” lyrics by Jeremy Riddle
photo by carfreedays, flickr some rights reserved: carfreedays.com