How we can rise again and again

Rustic-Country-Arbor

It was just a little wedding arbor up in front of the church, the plain wooden kind, unadorned, flowerless and simple. We wondered at its presence, but later on in the service we watched it take on significance as that humble little wooden arbor become a portal into another world.

We watched living souls walk through that little arbor clutching their signed death certificates, the ones that were on all of our seats, walk through that humble wooden portal from death to life in just a few steps all the way to Jesus. It was a victory walk they were doing, and we watched, witnesses to their commitment as we clutched our own certificates and renewed our own vows.

As the invitational song was sung, I had my eyes closed praying when Elaine elbowed me. I saw tears pooled in her eyes. She pointed left and then tears sprang to my own eyes as I saw a throng of people, as it turned out over 200 in our service alone. I expected several, but to be honest I was not prepared to see that many.  I thought maybe there was a hidden door somewhere, because I didn’t know where all the people were coming from. The last one over the threshold was an old man, alone. Everyone clapped as he walked through.

My faith was in turn chastened, restored and staggered by seeing the redemptive power of the cross in action. And out of the land of shadows we all came, right along with them.

And then when Pastor Kevin said, “And if you want to get Baptized right after the service we have clothes you can change into, I will be there waiting.” That just set our hearts in motion even more. Watching people take that leap of faith in front of God and everyone never gets old.

After that we talked with our new neighbors and met their dogs, then later we took a short drive in the Motorhome which has been somewhat neglected due to so much time taken up with E’s care-taking duties. Soon after we got home there was a phone call from her Dad’s nursing home asking her whether to admit him to the hospital. He was thrashing around and crying out.

She left and walked into halls where death always seems to be waiting. Crouching on the sidelines.

Bus isn’t it always in this life? And Easter Day it seems, is no exception.

The day after Easter we are faced with the challenge of rising up right along with Him, of living out our faith story victoriously. We can only do that one way, and that’s by fixing our eyes and our faith on Jesus. Each and every day……we……must……choose……life.

Watching someone suffer and arrive ever closer to death who has not chosen the path of life is heartbreaking, and no one is more heartbroken than God Himself.

Who sees what could have been in each of us.

We are all waiting in the wings between life and death. But because of the cross and the empty tomb, we can rest there victorious, hopeful and fully alive. And if you love someone who is still living in the land of the shadows, never give up. Where there is breath, there is always room for hope.

The day we call Easter has come and gone, but the power of the resurrection raises us up again and again. Until that day when we see Him face to face.

And oh what a day that will be.

I brought my death certificate home and stuck it in my Bible to remind myself of what I decided long ago and where I am going after I leave this place. It rests there now.

Hope between the pages.

Taking “It is finished” to heart

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Tonight, I didn’t read. I didn’t grab my IPad and hit Facebook to check in with my buddies. I just crawled into bed in the dark and the silence and thought about the day and waht it means. I thought about Jesus on the cross and how He said it was finished. And it really was. Every bit of it. Every thing we have ever struggled with…..

Every addiction, every grief, every heartache……finished right there. We don’t have to wrestle anymore.

But I still was.

Then I visualized Jesus holding me as a parent holds a child who needs calming. He drew me into an all-encompassing hug, and I drifted into sleep typing words into my phone. This morning I awoke I rolled over on my phone, and remembered.

When He said, it is finished, He meant it.

Instant access to a bankroll of power that we so often forget we have access to.

We are still boxing the air, long after our opponent has left the ring. Wrestling like Jacob all night long. We stagger away, weak.

The only decision you need to make is right now today. “Can you trust me?” He says.

He carried me through the day today. It was quite possibly the worst day at work we have had since my training in this new area. Even my trainer was confused. And yet I felt Him carrying me all through the day. We both even laughed at how things were happening that had never happened before.

And yet…..a sprinking of Saints throughout the day, which for many reasons was difficult.

Made all the difference.

He said that it was finished…..

And I believe Him.

He was thinking of you……

Gratitude for Grace

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.

He wants to take them up even now, He is waiting.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

He was willing to be a loser in the eyes of the world so that we might be winners.

 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He took the punishment and death meant for us willingly so that we wouldn’t have to since we were powerless to do so anyway.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

Lost Sheep

He took the mortal death blows so that we could all be reunited with God and live as one happy family in eternity.

His resurrection gives us peace in this life as we await the next.

He could have silenced them all with one glance, but He took our punishment like a man. He wasn’t afraid to be misunderstood and misrepresented.

He took a false charge because He was thinking of you and me and our future together.

Thankful for another Birthday!

Isaiah 53:4-7 Commentary in between verses are my own thoughts in prayer while reading through passages. 

God picks you…..every time

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Only a few things happening can cast me down to despair.
That’s how fragile I am, how fragile we all are.

And into my heart, He whispered like a warm breeze…..
If I didn’t remind you of the darkness from time to time,
You wouldn’t remember the candle I lit in your soul either.

I felt the love in what He was saying.

As tears came I said, “Yes, Lord.”
You know me so well.

I remember how it feels to stand in a place of tremendous
and absolute beauty and not feel or see a thing, and
it’s His great love for me and others that brings those feelings back

How else could I offer any comfort or help to others?
I can light a candle in their soul just the way you did for me, for until you did that for me?

I was a hopeless case.
Useless to myself and others.

Thank you, Lord for these times.
For reminding me just how fragile I am.
How I can feel in an instant alone on a playground not ever the first to be picked.

But you pick me, Lord. Again and again.
You said, “I want you.”

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them. Psalm 34:4-7

And thank you, Psalmist for these words of yours……they never fail to comfort.

Once again, you light the window in my dark soul.

Thank you for the assurance that my full range of emotions from joy to sorrow and everything in between,

are safe only in Your hands.

In You only, will I put my trust…….

In all things that I contemplate as I am consulting you, I find no secure place for my soul except in you. And in you, I pray that what is scattered in me may be brought together, so that no part of me may be apart from you. Sometimes when you are working within me, bringing my scattered self to you, you draw me into a state of feeling that is unlike anything I am used to, a kind of sweet delight. I know that if this spiritual state were made permanent in me it would be something not of this world, not of this life. Augustine. Confessions 10

Wearing ashes on my heart

Confession

I love the idea of getting “Ashed” for Ash Wednesday. I wish my protestant church would start doing it. I guess I could find a Catholic church on my break, but I probably won’t. If I were really honest I would have to say a bit of me would be embarrassed to wear that smudge all day. I am afraid people would be coming up to me all day saying I had something on my face. I guess that means I need to wear them more than anyone.

I am not going to give up anything specific, but I am going continue to try leaving more and more of myself at the foot of the cross.

I will willfully try not to be a ball of anxiety most of the time. At any given time, my left eye will start to twitch…..that is a sure sign that I need to improve in this area. As Elaine tells the kids on her bus over and over again, anger is a choice, so is anxiety.

I will continue to stumble along the Way carrying my own small cross to calvary. I will  fail and I will fall, and when I get there I will  leave things at its foot and then turn around and snatch them back up again. But I will most definitely keep on going, with my eyes on the hope of the empty tomb.

I have recently started reading the Bible through in a year. I am using the YouVersion on my IPhone, Old Testiment/New Testament plan. So far I like reading both side by side for the contrast. I am wading through Exodus…..endless sacrifices, endless rules, endless geneologies. I find myself skimming through it and yet I know it is all there for a reason. I am comforted by the human element in all the stories.

I love when Moses tries to get out of going to fetch back the Israelites from Egypt….I love the exchanges between He and God, how he tries to wear God down, and how God in his infinite love and mercy, finally gives Moses a concession by allowing Aaron to be his spokesman.

And then in Matthew, when Jesus tells Peter that He will be killed there and Peter recoils in horror. The thing that struck me about that was Peter was so focused on Jesus’ death that He doesn’t even take note of the fact that Jesus also said that in three days He will rise.

Just like all of us, focusing on the ashes of death, the big negative and completely skipping over positive, the happy ending to the story.

The Resurrection hope that belongs to us all.

Keep your ashes close today, wherever you wear them.

Blessings and peace to you today, Lori

It really will be okay

Further thoughts on "Radical"

“…All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”, Julian of Norwich

Prayer for today:

Today, I will choose not to be a bundle of stress and worry. I will not adopt and absorb the anxiety around me like a sponge, instead I will deflect it with the shield of peace by resting in the Lord, who is my quiet strength now and always.

I acknowledge my weakness and helplessness to change anyone’s heart; that work belongs to the Lord. Instead I will focus on my own heart and the things that God wants me to change in it.

Today, when I start to dwell on the future and what may or may not happen, I will remember that my ultimate future is where God is, preserved for me forever. I will also remember that with God time is not reduced to a fixed point, neither is it reduced  to some bright crystal shore somewhere after I die, but in the beauty of all the little moments of the here and now. Jesus said so……

“I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. John 10:10

Whatever happens today Father, thank you for already supplying the strength I need for whatever task you give me,  it’s already been given and all I have to do is rest in it.

Thank you Lord for the years piled up behind me, for now, it’s easier for me to see all the examples of your grace, mercy and love, all the times where you broke through my impenetrable sadness with the brilliance of your joy. And for the hope in knowing that you will do so again and again.

As often as I need it.

Today, I know I can get through anything with enough strength for myself and someone else, with your help. And if I make a royal mess of things, thank you for the assurance that you will love me anyway, for I stand wrapped in your grace.

And tomorrow, should be blessed enough to see it, thank you for another chance to start over.

Always with You.