Wearing ashes on my heart

Confession

I love the idea of getting “Ashed” for Ash Wednesday. I wish my protestant church would start doing it. I guess I could find a Catholic church on my break, but I probably won’t. If I were really honest I would have to say a bit of me would be embarrassed to wear that smudge all day. I am afraid people would be coming up to me all day saying I had something on my face. I guess that means I need to wear them more than anyone.

I am not going to give up anything specific, but I am going continue to try leaving more and more of myself at the foot of the cross.

I will willfully try not to be a ball of anxiety most of the time. At any given time, my left eye will start to twitch…..that is a sure sign that I need to improve in this area. As Elaine tells the kids on her bus over and over again, anger is a choice, so is anxiety.

I will continue to stumble along the Way carrying my own small cross to calvary. I will  fail and I will fall, and when I get there I will  leave things at its foot and then turn around and snatch them back up again. But I will most definitely keep on going, with my eyes on the hope of the empty tomb.

I have recently started reading the Bible through in a year. I am using the YouVersion on my IPhone, Old Testiment/New Testament plan. So far I like reading both side by side for the contrast. I am wading through Exodus…..endless sacrifices, endless rules, endless geneologies. I find myself skimming through it and yet I know it is all there for a reason. I am comforted by the human element in all the stories.

I love when Moses tries to get out of going to fetch back the Israelites from Egypt….I love the exchanges between He and God, how he tries to wear God down, and how God in his infinite love and mercy, finally gives Moses a concession by allowing Aaron to be his spokesman.

And then in Matthew, when Jesus tells Peter that He will be killed there and Peter recoils in horror. The thing that struck me about that was Peter was so focused on Jesus’ death that He doesn’t even take note of the fact that Jesus also said that in three days He will rise.

Just like all of us, focusing on the ashes of death, the big negative and completely skipping over positive, the happy ending to the story.

The Resurrection hope that belongs to us all.

Keep your ashes close today, wherever you wear them.

Blessings and peace to you today, Lori

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