Holy Spirit

A very Present help……..

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God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Psalm 46:1-3

The Holy Spirit loves us with a love that is so fierce, so deep we can scarcely imagine it. How else can you explain His willingness to come and take up residence inside us? Voluntarily. It’s beyond humbling.

He lives quietly and sorrowfully day after day as He sees how I fritter away time and opportunity and douse my hours with endless fear and worry. And still, He’s there to celebrate my little joys as well. What a gentleman God is. Big enough to keep the universe in motion with less than a thought, and yet small enough to fill up the hollowed out places inside me.

He watches and waits as I churn myself up inside with everything that doesn’t matter and some things that do but that I can’t fix anyway and then He takes the leftover space in my heart, my mind. It’s this backwards kind of living that gets us every time. Some things have seeped in though.

I know that starting the day seeking Him first always works. And I know that He will never leave me, that’s a promise He will never break. And that’s good to know in the wee hours of the morning when I can’t sleep.

Thank you Lord, for being there as you always are at 2 AM. I am not sure why You selected that time, but I have come to think of it as Ours. All this time I have been blaming the cat and it’s been You. Maybe that’s the only time you can really get my full attention. And thank you for letting me fall back asleep afterwards.

I think maybe you spend our whole lives trying to get us to get just this one lesson:

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;

Amen. I think it may be starting to sink in………

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Deliverance from Bondage

Life is a prayer

 For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?  But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. Romans 8:22-25

I was thinking as I read James 4 today that it must be tough for the Holy Spirit to hang with me sometimes. He is in a kind of prison as long as He resides with all of us humans, still so full of the flesh most of the time. Yet, He is gracious enough to hold to Jesus promise that we would have a comforter at all times, so that we need never be alone. Yet even creation knows that better times are coming. You can almost hear the trees say, just wait…….you think I am something now?

They reach for better things just as we do and hold to the promise as they reach for the sky.

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Down here we toil and sweat to grow food.The ants have been attacking the Okra, eating the blooms even before they have a chance to blossom. The tomatoes didn’t like the soil this year……still we strive for the hope that we know will come if we persevere. Ants have been dealt with and now plants are producing the way they should have all along.

We have reward for labor.

And the Spirit strives with us, but it will not always be so. He will be set free and so will we, once and for all. Until then, we wait down here deep-rooted to the earth along with the trees.

Not Home yet.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. Romans 8:18-21

God speaks……….

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The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; By understanding He established the heavens; By His knowledge the depths were broken up, And clouds drop down the dew.” Proverbs 3:

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“The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; Acts 17:24

 

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“He who made the Pleiades and Orion And changes deep darkness into morning, Who also darkens day into night, Who calls for the waters of the sea And pours them out on the surface of the earth, The LORD is His name.” Amos 5:8

 

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“But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you; And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you. “Or speak to the earth, and let it teach you; And let the fish of the sea declare to you. “Who among all these does not know That the hand of the LORD has done this, read more.In whose hand is the life of every living thing, And the breath of all mankind?” Job 12: 7-10

 

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God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things. And He has made from one bloodevery nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings,  so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;  for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’ Acts 17:24-28

 

What a wonder that this God should want to know me personally, and wants us all to know Him the same way. He is the God who walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the evening……and who came to this earth as a man, walked where we walk, had conversations, ate food, had dust on His sandals and went back into Heaven where He intercedes for us to this day. His Spirit rests with us here and now, giving us strength and empowering us to do beyond what we ask or think…….the fact that we can experience Him here and now and say with confidence as we pray in a little quiet room or in our car, on the way somewhere, “I am with God and He is with me”……that is the miracle of the Christian life and experience. That is our reality. Who in the world would not want that?

 

When its still waters you seek………..

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 “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul……”

The other day I awoke with a feeling of disquiet, of unrest. I felt like a rubix’s cube that someone had tried to fit back together wrong. Or that maybe there was a piece missing. I carried the feeling around that whole day. I was craving peace and still waters but I wasn’t sure how to go about getting it, I just knew I wanted it…..needed it.

Living the Christian life, we know those days will come. The best part however, is that we know they won’t last. We carry a living hope that refuses to let us despair, for we carry Christ wherever we go. The Holy Spirit rests deep within our soul. He is the still water we seek, and though at times the turbulence of this world rocks us, sends uneasy ripples in any number of ways, we need not worry.

Yesterday in prayer as I opened the Word, I felt those ripples begin to quiet as I read the words, fingered through those pages in the early hours. After awhile, I felt their calm assurance slowly begin to fit the pieces back together. I sensed a hope as I closed my eyes and once again meditated on those quiet waters. I felt Him start to restore my soul.

Because we need that, each day, don’t we?

The world rips us at the seams. People do it too, with hurtful words or actions tossed carelessly in our direction. The world is full of unrest, but here in this calm, in the eye of the storm, He restores us. He lets us know that no matter what happens outside.

He will be here with us on the inside. Where the still waters lie.

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He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and loving-kindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Photos: Gilbert Riparian Preserve, Gilbert Arizona, and The Bloedel Reserve, Bainbridge Island, Washington

 

The Home within us

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The wind howls this morning, even worse than yesterday. It strips the blossoms from the Palo Verde trees and they pile up like yellow snow-banks against the curbs.

It does its job, tells us it’s there by knocking things around out in the yard. It puts everyone in an unsettled mood, even the animals. I thought maybe I would skip prayer, but then how could I do that? Prayer is talking to God and wasn’t I just doing that when I thanked Him for another day off? When I thanked Him for the last two?

More than a set time each day, it’s become part of the fabric of my being, because somewhere along the line I realized there is not ever a moment when I don’t need Him. That might sound weak, but only if you don’t realize how big He is. ………..only if you are under the false assumption that you can do this life successfully without Him. I let that delusion go awhile back. And I realized that was the beginning of what God calls wisdom.

Our days flow by like poetry. Some of it sticks. The moments you want to keep you hold onto. It’s why we forget whole blocks of poetry and songs and movies, but you always remember that one scene, that one line, that one tune. A bird squawks outside and for a moment the wind stops. I pause and read:

1 Thessalonians 5:16: “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. This is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus…….all those times I asked that very question and it was right here all the time, the anchor verse that rests on everything else.

Dorothy had the power to go home all along, she just forgot the power those red shoes had, kind of like what we do as Christians when we forget that His home is within us.

It’s simple math. Kind of like the person who searches here and there for just the right diet, the secret to losing weight, the magic formula. Here it is, are you ready? Eat less than you burn up. Eat the foods God created you for. Get up and move, because our bodies were made for that, not for sitting in office chairs 12 hours a day.

Pray always. God wants to hear from you in the little everyday moments. That fact alone is what keeps me in a state of wonder every time I think of it. That the King of everything wants……..me.

How to remain soft (when the world gets too hard)

 

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In any given day we are exposed to hundreds of bits and pieces of information at rapid fire pace. Some of them are totally useless. This is why I listen to the news only enough to know what is going on in the world and no more.

We live in a world of sensationalism; of endless noise, where the biggest, saddest story gets the headlines. It’s the stories that hold the most tragedy, the most grief that are waived endlessly in front of our eyes all day long. I wonder what all this does to our psyches?

For the most part, there is little we can do about any of the events we hear about every day. Added on top of that, we have family, friends, jobs and responsibilities. Things and people who can’t wait.

We tend to filter it all out in order of importance, but some of the other stuff leaks in anyway. We have to let some things slide. In fact, it gets easier and easier to let more things slide. How do we deal with all these things we can do nothing about? It’s a question I have been asking myself.

While I was back home, there were two obituaries in the paper. A young girl and a young man who should have had everything to live for committed suicide. One of them jumped in front of a train and the other shot herself. And then hungry displaced Ukrainian children and the missing Malaysian flight with 239 people…..gone.

I wonder if we are all much more desensitized than we realize. I wonder if it’s all making me more desensitized to events in my own world than I realize? It scares me to think that.

In the world of long ago, many of us lived in small communities. We knew each other and each others families. When Sally fell into a well, or when Billy fell off the tractor, we all gathered together to help. When someone died, we all cried together, prayed together.

We dressed in black and went to the funeral, brought food to the family.

And slowly everyone healed. Grew closer together. We had a sense of resolution. It felt like some kind of closure.

But now I wonder. And it makes me think that what I do is even more important than ever. This getting alone with God in the mornings. As of late, I have been thinking that maybe it’s just something I do out of habit like reciting a memorized prayer by rote.

But even memorized prayers have words with meaning, words that God can fan into flame with His power just like He can ignite our hearts to love all over again.

I think of Jesus when He was on this earth. I think of how hard it must have been to see the heartache and know that He could have just waved His hand and taken it all away. But He didn’t. He healed hearts and people one at a time, just like He wants us to do now.

Jesus had the ability to display perfect empathy in every situation. One person at a time. And He had to get away for a while too, even though He was God. 

He got alone by the water, alone on the mountain. Who are we to think we don’t need to?

Yesterday the parking lot beckoned like an oasis. On break I went out to my quiet car because my brain just wouldn’t quit. I closed my eyes and remembered the sound of the waves.

I was worried about my Mom who was sick and my Dad whose body is failing him in many ways. And I felt my brother’s wounds and sorrow too. I heard my niece processing her fears of missing me “when Nori goes back to work,” and I heard my Mom’s voice as she wistfully said, “Mom’s and daughters shouldn’t be separated.” I agree Mom. I hear you, you’re right. I felt it all, along with the joy.

As I sat there with the sun warming my shoulders, I threw a line of prayer out every now and then, not feeling it much. With my eyes still closed, I startled when I heard the rustle of wings close, and the unmistakable squeak of a dove as she landed. Right on the lip of my sunroof.

She stood staring down at me, so close we were almost eye to eye. I thought she might just fly into the car, but she just looked at me for a moment and flew off. It was a visitation. One moment of a hundred others in the day that stood out. A God moment.

And heading home, welcome words from a text on my phone.

“I am not going to the gym, I made dinner.” Oh, how I needed those words. A peaceful and restful evening after steak and asparagus. Oh yes, I will go to the gym tomorrow.

But for right now, this is how I heal. This is how we all heal each other.

Because sometimes, even after vacations, you still need a little rest.

Confessions of an addictive personality

Morning prayer

The thought dropped neatly and quietly into my mind as I was taking my morning walk. It clicked in like the final answer to a question I already knew the answer to, but needed to hear again. What the addict really desires, what all of us really desire is more of God not more of anything else. More of His power, more of His prescence, more of His glory. Why do we want more of anything? It’s to fill an emptiness within us. Something we feel we are lacking. But God is the only one big enough to fill that space. What we don’t need is:

Another helping of comfort food

Another drink

Another hit

Another 10 miles of running

Another trip to the mall

Another look at that magazine, movie, book that we know we shouldn’t be looking at.

There are those of us with addictive personalities. I am one of them. I have been addicted to not eating, and after I got over that I became addicted to exercise. I would go to my morning class and then the evening class, and then after that I would follow the aeobics teacher to her final class in the neighboring town. I was one of the groupies. A little exercise was good, a lot was much better as far as I was concerned.

There was also a time in my life when it got very easy for me to put away three glasses of wine a night. Then one day I heard myself giving someone the pat answer for how often I drank. “Oh, I have a glass of wine with dinner every now and then.” HA. And this is the funny thing about God. When you get really serious with Him, He will ask you to be honest with Him and yourself. And He will ask you to make some changes.

Right after I said that, (in the deafening silence of my brain) the Holy Spirit said, “That is not true.” I had been lying to others, myself and God too. And it was time to get real. Then He asked me what I was going to do about it.

The truth is, there will always be another reason or excuse to eat too much or have another drink. The reason why will always be there, but thankfully, so will God.

That night on the way home from work, I didn’t buy any wine even though I knew I was out. I went home and sat down in the corner of the yard and prayed. The stray cat, “Tux” came and sat beside me.  I prayed, “Okay God, you need to show up here and make yourself real tonight.” And as the cat and I sat side by side, we watched the sky fill up with one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. He showed up big time.

I do believe God gives us certain days that are mile markers in life, and He makes sure we won’t forget them. That was around 8 years ago now and still vividly alive in my mind. It’s a reminder to me that anytime I think I need more of something else, it’s really more of Him I need.

He loves us so much friends. The God of the universe loves you right where you are right now today and He’s waiting with open arms to reveal Himself to you in a big way.

And you don’t even have to clean yourself up before you go, Jesus already did that.

Let yourself be loved. Just the fact that you are on this earth is proof that He loves you.

He is there for the quick fix as well as the long haul.

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

Of Planks and Beams

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I wasn’t going to go out to the prayer shed today…..it was gray and a bit chilly and I just ran out of propane in my little heater yesterday, so I lit a candle in the living room. But it wasn’t the same. The light in the sky drew me out anyway,  that’s a sacred part of the day and I hate missing it.

It wasn’t really that cold once I got out there, so I grabbed my coffee, lit my little lantern and settled in my chair.

It felt right…….I need the separateness of my “closet.”

I thought about the conversation I was going to have soon. It is inevitable. I thought about all the ways it could go, what I will say, working it all out in my mind. It’s always so hard when it’s someone you love. But it’s for love’s sake that I must have it.

I will trust the Holy Spirit with my words. He speaks way better than I ever could.

I opened my Bible and it fell to the part where Jesus is talking about beams and specks and sawdust depending on which translation you read, and He’s not talking about construction. So today, I am working on my beam…..the one that gets lodged in my own eye from time to time. I am making sure it’s cleared out before I start looking for specks somewhere else.

I will post about Haiti tomorrow, but this was fighting its way out and it had to come first.

Until then, Jesus and I will be working on my beam together.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5

The Big Green Monster

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It struck without warning, and I wasn’t prepared. I was minding my own business, things were going well, in fact I had just had a several pieces of encouraging news the day before.  I was cruising…..bouyant even. So when it reared up out of the depths like a big green sea monster, I was blindsided.

It was amazing at how fast and with what lethal force it struck, like a rattlesnake with no rattle of warning at all. It was the big green monster of JEALOUSY.

I thought of the sea monster that used to come up out of the water at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk when I was a kid. I was terrified of that thing. The little train tracks ran around the outside of the little fake lagoon from whence that monster reared up.

I always hoped and prayed I would be in the cave part of the ride when it came up.

Right before he came up out of the water, it would bubble and the speakers would crackle and make a terrible noise, that was right before  it raised it’s head, snorting water dripping from its flarel nostrils. And then after the curved neck was fully raised?

It would turn and cast it’s awful eyes on me! It was terrible and horrible and yet I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Like that big green sea monster, envy and jealousy will kill our joy faster than anything. It distorts, it twists, and then after you have finished turning the knife toward that other person, you turn it inwards and start inflicting injury on yourself.

Nobody wants to be around a jealous or envious person. Jealousy and its close cousin envy blocks the Spirit much like a solar eclipse blocks out the sun. When life is colored by what we feel we don’t have, we tend to lose our gratitude for what we do have.

When we start recounting our gifts again, that other thing becomes small and once again we can  put our focus on everything God has given us.

Basically, we give Him back His rightful place on the Throne.

I bow my head as I shuffle backwards…….sheepishly I hand Him back the Scepter which I greedily snatched away. Sorry, Lord. I have an idea where this came from and it wasn’t You.

I place it at the cross and once again my heart fills clean with Gratitude because of how He made me, all that He’s given me. Because how He made me is pretty special.

I am a  diamond on His endless shore, and yet He would be able to pick me, (and you) out of that glittering pile in a minute. He cradles me in His hand, turns me this way and that.

He admires the shine that I am just beginning to take on.

Oh how He loves me.

And you.

Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 1 Peter 2:1

Faithful Friend

Confession

Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.  You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’  The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3:6-8

I marvel when I think what a miracle it is that You would choose to live within this heart of mine, and even more when I think how long You have journeyed with me so peacefully and quietly, so graciously and so fully that I can no longer imagine a life without Your presence. You have made Your home in me and I know that if You were suddenly taken away I would know a fraction of hell itself. I say a fraction because only Jesus knew the full weight of that when You hid your face behind a cloud those hours on the cross.

I take you for granted, Lord and I know it. How often I have felt your warmth, your candle flicker in my soul as I pray. I have felt the mystery of two total strangers connecting and recognizing that they….we, are already joined as brothers and sisters. We greet each other as family…..connected by the blood of Jesus and union with You. How easily conversation flows, how easy laughter comes and joy leaps as we talk about the things of God.

It humbles me Lord, what you have taken from me. What thoughts and actions that you had to go along with….things that I did and have done that I had no business doing, going through doors you never meant me to go, all the while warning me in your quiet way knowing the sorrow I would have to face. And you faced it with me, truly you have always been my Comforter.

Help me Lord to give you cause for rejoicing in my actions and thoughts instead of grief.

Thank you for the special gifts you have given me, and continue to give. Anoint my writing Lord, and help it to bless and encourage others in their walk with you.

As I kneel at the rail of my heart once more it overflows with gratitude for the Spirit who will never let me go. Who makes me want to stay even after my candle has been snuffed out, even after the chill surrounds me as the warmth from my heater wears off.

I sit back down, longing to hear one more Word lest I miss it as I rush out the door……..