It struck without warning, and I wasn’t prepared. I was minding my own business, things were going well, in fact I had just had a several pieces of encouraging news the day before. I was cruising…..bouyant even. So when it reared up out of the depths like a big green sea monster, I was blindsided.
It was amazing at how fast and with what lethal force it struck, like a rattlesnake with no rattle of warning at all. It was the big green monster of JEALOUSY.
I thought of the sea monster that used to come up out of the water at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk when I was a kid. I was terrified of that thing. The little train tracks ran around the outside of the little fake lagoon from whence that monster reared up.
I always hoped and prayed I would be in the cave part of the ride when it came up.
Right before he came up out of the water, it would bubble and the speakers would crackle and make a terrible noise, that was right before it raised it’s head, snorting water dripping from its flarel nostrils. And then after the curved neck was fully raised?
It would turn and cast it’s awful eyes on me! It was terrible and horrible and yet I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
Like that big green sea monster, envy and jealousy will kill our joy faster than anything. It distorts, it twists, and then after you have finished turning the knife toward that other person, you turn it inwards and start inflicting injury on yourself.
Nobody wants to be around a jealous or envious person. Jealousy and its close cousin envy blocks the Spirit much like a solar eclipse blocks out the sun. When life is colored by what we feel we don’t have, we tend to lose our gratitude for what we do have.
When we start recounting our gifts again, that other thing becomes small and once again we can put our focus on everything God has given us.
Basically, we give Him back His rightful place on the Throne.
I bow my head as I shuffle backwards…….sheepishly I hand Him back the Scepter which I greedily snatched away. Sorry, Lord. I have an idea where this came from and it wasn’t You.
I place it at the cross and once again my heart fills clean with Gratitude because of how He made me, all that He’s given me. Because how He made me is pretty special.
I am a diamond on His endless shore, and yet He would be able to pick me, (and you) out of that glittering pile in a minute. He cradles me in His hand, turns me this way and that.
He admires the shine that I am just beginning to take on.
Oh how He loves me.
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 1 Peter 2:1