Wandering, Lent Day 2

“But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4

I have a feeling Satan didn’t waste any time trying to tear Jesus down on His way out into the desert. I can imagine him doing just what he does to us. Using our own humanity against us. Reminding Jesus of all that He lost, all that He left behind, all that He still had to suffer.

Can’t you just hear him?

I can’t believe you actually went for this crazy plan……..these people aren’t worth dying for…….God wouldn’t care you know, if you turned just one of these tiny little stones into bread.

He tries to defeat us in our minds first. Then he goes for our physical needs. Our humanity. What’s your weakness today? Right now. Mine was insomnia and worry last night. I stared at the ceiling fan going around and around and looked at the clock which taunted me. I was feeling fearful about the future and sorrow crept in. Tears came in the dark.

I started with the 23rd Psalm which is the one thing I always fall back on when I can’t sleep:

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want”……and then I stopped. Do I really believe that? Do I actually believe that God is all that I need in every single circumstance, no matter what? It’s easy to believe that when everything is going smooth. When everyone I care about is okay. But is my faith real enough to believe that even though I can’t fix people and situations I can still feel peaceful because God is in control and loves them even more than I do?

The gentle purr of the cat resting on my shoulder lulled me. I thought of Jesus in the desert. I believe that He was thinking of us during those 40 days and for us, He didn’t give in.

And right now today, He is interceding for us still. He has been through His desert so we wouldn’t have to. But so many times we put ourselves there anyway don’t we?

Jesus focused not on what He didn’t have during those 40 days, but what He did have. And I can see HIm stopping to rest in the shade, tired and weary and seeing these little flowers and thanking God for His perfect plan.

Because all He could see was the victory at the other end. All He could see was me.

At every moment you have to decide to trust the voice that says, “I love you. I knot you together in your Mother’s womb.” (Ps. 139:13); “Stop wandering around. Instead, come home and trust that God will bring you what you need,” “For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you;” “The root choice is to trust at all times that God is with you and will give you what you most need.” Henry Nouwen

Open your eyes……

I don’t know about you, but the news lately has left me feeling fatigued, stressed, disturbed.

Sometimes I wonder why I even feel the need first thing in the morning to go look at what happened overnight.

It’s always more of the same. The truth is: The world will never change because the world never did understand the love Jesus came to give it.

But more of the same is never a bad thing when you have the Hope of Jesus.

These times, I pray, will cause us to reflect on what truly matters.

I pray our faith will get real.

I pray we will become closer to our Heavenly Father than ever before.

And I pray that when it all gets to be too much.

That we will remember to go outside……

and remember again that God is behind and around and through it all.

He’s never stopped speaking.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. John 1:1-5

God loves you even more………

I guess I love sparrows because even though they are so small……so common,

so ordinary.

They aren’t really at all.

They are a miracle……..a veritable work of art, and so are you friend…….And not one of them falls to the ground without Him knowing.

Or caring.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows……Jesus (Matthew 1:29-31

Yesterday I was enjoying a sliver of solitude out in the patio at work. The first to join me was a brown thrush, well, I call him “Hop-a-long” because he only has one foot. He does amazingly well just with the one.

Next was a chattering school of assorted sparrows and other little brown birds, maybe finches, all lined up begging for food. It’s amazing how close they got. They do really well at Intel, they are all fat and fluffy like the birds you see on the Marjolein Bastin greeting cards. Have you ever looked, like really, really close at a common sparrow? They are amazing. When you look close you can see about 30 shades of brown and grey. Up close you can see how all their feathers are perfectly aligned, and their little feet can land and grip just about anywhere.

I was enjoying myself out there. Some were all lined up on the bench and some were gathered at my feet seeing how close they could get, wanting to be the first to get the crumb. I guess you could say it was one of those everyday Holy moments. It was just the birds and I and God. Anytime we reflect on the wonder of His creation, we are worshiping and honoring Him.

And you know what is amazing? He cares for you and I more than those sparrows. He sees each of us in our own individuality and He wants us to see ourselves the same way. We are valued! The next time you feel just like a number, or just another bit player in this big Universe, just remember that God Himself doesn’t see you that way at all.

He sees you as I see those sparrows……….little common brown miracles of wonder, each specifically design to give Him glory just by walking around doing what He made us to do.

I hope it bombs (but it probably won’t)

I’m talking about that movie that’s coming out in a few days. You’ve seen the previews. Maybe you’ve read the book. I won’t even post the name here or use any image from it because I don’t want to highlight it in any way. I am using it as an opener because it’s movies like this that are a barometer of just how morally sick our society has become. Last night I was at the gym and I was parked on the elliptical catty-corner to one of those shows where men and women were doing all sorts of things with very little clothing. There were all kinds of sexual situations, some of which were women with other women. And this was in a public place at six o’ clock in the evening.

I remember when Ricky and Lucy had to have separate beds, and they were married! (I think that is a little extreme, especially since they were really married)

You might wonder why my views are so extreme. Well, I guess because God has some pretty extreme views about when sex is appropriate. When two people: (one man, one woman) are married. This is what I believe: God is the creator of sex. Part of his purpose in creating sex was for our pleasure. But God also set limits for the enjoyment of sex, for our protection. When we go outside those boundaries, we enter into sexual sin. God even goes one step further than that, He says that sex between a married couple is actually Holy.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4

People say, “God is love, He wants you to be happy, well no not really. Mostly He wants me to be Holy, and that in turn brings something far deeper than happiness. It brings lasting joy and peace of mind. I believe that as a Christian, God calls me to sacrifice a few things, because Jesus sacrificed everything. I was bought with a price, the Bible says. And that price tag was hefty. So if God tells me no to something I know it’s for my own good. All I have to do is look to the Word to find out what He expects.

Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Ephesians 5:3

Here’s where we are today:

Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. Ephesians 4:19

And God is not a cruel God, He is a loving God. He would never expect us to do something that wasn’t entirely possible for us to do, with His help.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

The best way I can describe the Christian life is how a Pastor illustrated it one Sunday. He stood in front of us with a long rope spread out across the stage. About 2 inches worth on the end was painted bright red. That represented our life on earth. The rest represented eternity, well the rope would have had to be endless, but we got the point. This life is short, friends and if you believe in Jesus and trusted Him for your eternal salvation then you have a future filled with hope. If not, there is still hope.

There is nothing we can ever do under the sun that could cause God to withdraw His offer of forgiveness and reconciliation. There in no place we could ever go where His love could not reach us. We have all fallen short, we all sin, yet each day there is a fresh supply of Grace manna, at every point during the day He stands ready to forgive and forget.

Circled in Grace

I’m one of the lucky ones. Or since I don’t really believe in luck I’ll use the word blessed. I have heard over and over again the story of when I was born. How my Mom was visiting her sister and that particular day she just had to go shopping in San Francisco. And how that night she went into labor 3 months early. She told me how scared she was, how unprepared they all were.

How if she hadn’t been close to Stanford Hospital that weekend I might not have made it.

I have heard my survival story over and over; how everyone prayed for me as I fought for strength, all 3 pounds of me in that little incubator for weeks and weeks. I have heard how worried my Grandparents were. Maybe they were thinking of their little Annie who they lost when she was four. I was anticipated……wanted…..sought after. What a gift.

The most important phrases that my parents sewed into the fabric of my life early on were “I love you” and “You are a survivor.” Sometimes we don’t realize the power of our words. Good, affirming words spoken over us when are very small will be carried over all though our life, and so will destructive, wounding ones.

They believed I had strength, that I was a survivor, and as a result I believed it too. That one phrase has helped me get through all the tough times in my life, because when someone believes in you, you give yourself permission to do the same.

The best way we can value our kids (and even each other) is by telling them how happy we were that they were born. And how happy we still are by celebrating their life in all the little everyday ways. Tell them about how the world outside stopped when they saw you for the first time. Give them a place of importance by telling them what you observed and remembered about them as they were growing up. Most of all, speak words that bring life. Words that make them bloom.

But over and above everything I said up to this point, you need to know that even if it seems no one cared or took notice of the day you were born, God did. In fact, let me take it back even a little further than that. God Himself goes as far as saying that before you were even born, He saw you.

Our life is circled in grace friends. Double circled and outlined in red. There is a star by your name. God has highlighted us in grace. If our life were a book, God would highlight and dog-ear every page. We matter that much.

If your loved one’s voice doesn’t tug at your heart, take a step back and remember when it did. Remember……there is power in remembering too. Remember as far back as God does.

He loved you before you were born, and He will keep loving you beyond your very last breath. Take a step toward the circle of His grace today. I invite you.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16

Photo: An older picture I took of my niece Lauryn. Her voice makes my heart melt.

Can I get a witness?

Devotional: “Hold my hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step.” Sarah Young, “Jesus Calling.”

This morning prayer time was something of a miracle. Well, they all are really, but some more than others. Sometimes I just go out there and sit. I know He is there, He just doesn’t make Himself known. It still amazes me how I can come out here with all my junk, all my worries and fears and He reveals Himself to me. And for just a little awhile, it’s just Him and me. I recognize Him and I feel a little bit like Mary Magdalene in the garden…….as she gasps, “Rabboni!”

Or John as he turns to Peter and says, “It is the Lord!” And there’s Jesus on the shore stoking a campfire asking if they’ve caught any fish. And sitting there in prayer, it feels a little bit like Easter.

There is something Holy in being present when dawn colors the sky. Being a witness to it is beholding His Glory here on earth. As if to second that, from the rooftop a mourning dove coos. That doesn’t always happen but today it did.

I am learning that even things like despair have a purpose, God never wastes anything. For in it, there is no denying that those sparks of joy are coming directly from You Lord.

It was a good prayer time today, well they all are really.

And after months of not attending church, of having my own church where and when I can have it, I need to hear the words……I need to hear the songs.

“As for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all Your deeds.” Psalm 73:28

Imperfect Miracles

Due to a shortage of headcount in my area, I found myself working on December 25th for the first time in my life. I have to confess, it just felt wrong to be there. And add to that, the area itself was a disaster. The lady I was relieving looked like she had been through a war and at the end of the 12 hours, I felt the same. But enough about me. Having to work on Christmas Day is by no means a hardship, but there was something about driving there on a nearly deserted freeway put me in mind of some people who are struggling this Christmas season.

One by one and then collectively they found their way into my prayers. I prayed that the Lord would give them strength and peace in the midst of everything. I thought of my Mom’s friend whose adult son is extremely ill. She can’t get to see him because she is recovering from a bad fall. She also takes care of her husband who has a bad back and Parkinson’s among other things.

I think of Elaine, who spent part of her Christmas at the Carehome giving her Mom over the counter meds for her flu since the staff can’t do it. Her Mom didn’t know it was Christmas and she kept asking who the robe belonged to, the one she had just unwrapped. What can prepare you for that kind of heartache?

I guess I was thinking about us all. About how the world was when the angels met the Shepherd’s there out in the fields. How when they met those Angels they were so Holy and beautiful they had them shaking in their boots. The world hasn’t really changed a whole lot since then.Not human nature anyway. I thought about how Jesus came to fix a broken world and us along with it. That is, inasmuch as we let Him.

I thought about this little snowflake and how it almost makes me want to cry. Just the perfect beauty of it. I see where it looks like it’s starting to melt away. And how sometimes we feel like we are melting away too. Like that little snowflake, we are all imperfect, perfect miracles.

Jesus came to this earth so He could seek us out and make us into a miracle that will last for all eternity, but we can’t do it without Him. Nothing we go through down here on earth is ever overlooked or wasted. Even now, He is using everything we go through down here to make us into perfection fit for Heaven. God is never satisfied to leave us how He found us.

All of us are broken and will remain so until He says, “Rise up and walk into your new life with me.” We are all blind until He sticks His mud covered fingers into our eyes and says,”Go and wash in the Pool of Siloam.”

Jesus was born for the broken, the lost, the left behind. He came for this reason, “To seek and save that which was lost.”

I love the story of how He went back to find the leper He had healed. Even now, He is seeking you my friends. He came into this world to find you. To find His lost lambs. Today, He wants to be with you in your heartache and bring you comfort.

‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20

Christmas might be over, but Christ never is. That right there, gives me hope and reason to rejoice in the coming year.

Image: Creative Commons. Attribution-NoDerivs License

What can it possibly mean?

I woke early this morning and it was cold. Cold for here anyway. Wrapping myself in the huge robe guaranteed to ward off any chill, I slogged out the door in my slippers to look at the temperature which read 46 degrees. All you people in the snow, I don’t know how you do it. I wimped out of praying in my usual spot out in the shop. I came back inside and settled back in my easy chair and turned the heat up. I felt a momentary sadness knowing that tomorrow I would be spending Christmas at work, but that sadness was fleeting.

On December 26 all the frenzy will be over, but Christ will remain, big as life. As I gaze figuratively at the face of the babe in the manger, I ask myself all over again what it really means. This God coming to earth. Who can possibly understand that kind of love? Who can truly grasp it? The love of a God who would voluntarily come down here to this planet rife with turbulence and every kind of heartache and sin.

How can I feel anything but unbridled joy, knowing He would do that for me? For you?

What it means for us Christians is that we pick up our crosses all over again as we do everyday, knowing that He will never expect us to carry as much as He did. My little cross, whatever it is will never lead to Calvary, but ultimately to Heaven. How can it possibly be?

The babe in the manger scares me sometimes to be honest because I look at that baby and I ask myself how my life would change if I really truly believed as I say I do? The manger means hard questions sometimes. Look what it meant for those to whom He came then……..

Mary was afraid.

Joseph wanted to divorce her quietly.

The Shepherd’s were shaking in their sandals on that night.

Herod was so threatened he murdered all first-born babies up to two years old.

The wise men journeyed hundreds of miles just to worship Him.

As I sit here in my chair pondering all this, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving for a God that would love so much that He would risk it all, knowing we might still push Him away.

Every light is lit and the tree casts a glow that fills the room. Even these two old cats have caught my joy. They have turned into kittens momentarily, playing tag and dashing back and forth. I smile at their play as I opened to my devotional and read these words:

Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You turn people back to dust,

    saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”

A thousand years in your sight

    are like a day that has just gone by,

    or like a watch in the night.
Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—

    they are like the new grass of the morning:

 In the morning it springs up new,

    but by evening it is dry and withered. 
Psalm 90: 1-6
The question remains: What can it possibly mean? To me it means saying yes all over again. Sometimes it’s a feeble yes, sometimes a shaky yes. But it’s always a yes.
Merry Christmas from Lori’s Prayer Closet. I pray you know the joy of the Savior today.

How Many Kings?

Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe, after all we’ve projected, A child in a manger?
Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mother’s shawl – Just a child – Is this who we’ve waited for? ’cause…

How many kings step down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts

To romance a world that is torn all apart How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Bringing our gifts for the newborn Savior All that we have, whether costly or meek Because we believe.
Gold for his honor, and frankincense for his pleasure And myrrh for the cross he will suffer Do you believe?
Is this who we’ve waited for?

Only one did that for me
All, all for me…..All for you.

“How Many Kings” by Downhere
Written by Marc A. Martel, Jason Ronald William Germain.

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”

Isaiah 7:14

Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot,
And like a root out of parched ground;
He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Isaiah 53:1-3

All for you, all for me.

Merry Christmas, (and the cat’s in heat.)

There’s a Rose in Bethlehem
With a beauty quite divine
Perfect in this world of sin
On this silent holy night

There’s a fragrance much like hope
That it sends upon the wind
Reaching out to every soul
From a lowly manger’s crib

Oh, Rose of Bethlehem
How lovely, pure, and sweet
Born to glorify the Father
Born to wear the thorns for me……..

Rose of Bethlehem, Lowell Alexander

It was a cold and foggy morning as we drove my brother’s dog Tyler to the groomers’ and I was thrilled. We don’t get much fog in Arizona and I miss it. I dashed out of the car to snap a couple of pictures as we pulled out. I thought of these song lyrics as I saw this rosebud bravely clinging to life in the cold damp air. All along the drive, they were in various stages of bloom. Kind of like us. When all seems hopeless, faith dares us to dream. We press on when despair threatens to press in and overtake us like the fog that surrounded us that day. But there’s a thing about fog that I love. It only allows us to see what’s right in front of us, and that’s more than enough.

Everything in the background ceases to exist and for a moment, ceases to matter. Kind of like when we keep our eyes focused on Jesus. We know the problems are still there, but they are only ghostly shapes off in the distance. When He comes into focus, fears fade away and all we see is the beauty of His light. He says, “Look into my eyes, my child and tell me if you need to fear any of this…….I am here, and I have promised to never leave you.”

It was a good trip back home. It was productive and I was happy to be able to help out, giving my Mom a temporary break as “chief cook and bottle washer” in the kitchen and also helping my Dad out in the yard. There were the daily after school trips to “In and Out” burger with my niece, (fries and a vanilla shake). On one such trip, a conversation ensued that prompted my Mom to tell Dad that “she could still divorce him at 85.” He laughed.

As I unpacked I noticed a sticker I brought home from there. It was clinging to the sleeve where Lauryn put it, laughing. She loves to put them on everyone else but doesn’t want any on herself. I didn’t have the heart to take it off.

My first night there, my brother had arranged a Birthday surprise for Lauryn. One of the biggest floats at the Festival of Lights parade was to stop in front of the house. At first, she wanted no part of it, characteristic of autism. They want to know the plan in advance, way in advance. We practically stood on our heads to get her to understand it wasn’t a whole parade, just one float.

By the time it came in all its glory, she was on the brink of meltdown mode, but that dispelled as soon as she saw it. It was like Disneyland on a semi; music playing and lights ablaze, I think we all turned into little kids. When she came outside, her eyes lit up and she jumped up and down in excitement, waving and saying, “Thank you, thank you!!!” It was priceless.

There were several trips to Wal-Mart and many more to the local S-Mart where my Mom knows all the checkers, and general discussions about the new Super Wal-Mart, which my Mom and Aunt both stated they will “not set foot in” because they are “just too big.” There was a Christmas concert at the church, which was outstanding. (Thank you Diane for picking us up, you are a blessing to our family.)

One night, driving around looking at lights my Mom and I got swept up in the Zion Reformed parking lot light tour display where they gave us an accompanying CD and handed out homemade cookies and hot chocolate complete with live nativity with a real donkey and the actual meaning of the 12 days of Christmas. As we drove around we noticed someone had placed a lighted wreath in each window of the parsonage. There was a soft glow coming through the stained glass windows and the church bells were tolling. It was impressive.

At the end, we got a lawn sign which said, “Jesus is the Reason for the Season.” If anyone had a doubt about the meaning of Christmas when they started the tour, it was left in a crumpled heap in the parking lot.

I spoiled all the animals too, as always. They ate well, just as mine do. Anytime they want. At some point during the trip we noticed that my namesake, Nori the cat, was acting more boisterous than normal. At one point she jumped on Mima’s back. (Queen Mother cat of the household). At around day 5 she had worked herself into a fever pitch, making everyone else in the household crazy. Turns out she was in heat. Or was. She had an appointment today to fix that problem for good.

As always, it was hard to leave, but also good to come home. Right now, every Christmas light in the house is on. Every tree, every wreath, every swag of garland, and with every flip of the switch, I am reminded of the Hope that entered the world via the manger. Of a God that looked down to see a hurting world and did something about it.

The Rose of Bethlehem still blooms in our hearts and our lives through Jesus, the Light of the world. Through Him, we can face tomorrow with hope.

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6

God’s love