St. Augustine’s Diet Plan

Then God said, “Look! I have given you every seed-bearing plant throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. Genesis 1:29
I came across this bit of wisdom from St. Augustine in the little devotional book, Early Will I Seek You, a 40 day journey in the company of Augustine. He has this to say about food:
“You have taught me that I should approach the taking of food as I approach medicine. For hunger and thirst are pains of a sort. They break down the body and burn, unless the “medicine” of nourishment relieves us. And it’s by eating and drinking that we repair the daily losses of the body, until such time as you destroy both the stomach and food. (1 Corinthians 6:13) At that time you will kill all fleshly hungers by filling us with your wonderful plenty. Then you will clothe this corruptible body with an everlasting body that cannot be corrupted. (1 Corinthians 15:54)
But until that day, I fast and wage war because I need to bring my body into subjection.”
I have lost and gained the same 10-15 pounds for many, many years. I love sweets and pizza and burgers, and every bit of weight is noticeable on a 5′ 1″ frame. I get lazy and would much rather sit and read than workout. Others have a much bigger struggle than mine, but I do identify with the struggle. Let’s face it, we can’t just stop eating. I tried that once, believe me, it doesn’t work. I got down to 83 pounds, anorexia had me in it’s grip, and I was in a battle for my life……
I can truly say that God healed me in a miraculous way, of that I have no doubt whatsoever. It was due to the prayers of my family that I was snatched out the power of that particular death grip. It was God and Jazzercise that saved me. After making my self sick, I then had to make myself well. Though God healed my mind, I had to love my body back into health.
Augustine goes on further to state:
“Now, let us be honest, eating and drinking are pleasurable, and good food is healthful for the body. But I may sit down to eat and drink for the sake of health, and then for pleasure go on to eat and drink far more than I need or over what is healthful. Often it is so difficult to tell the difference, whether my body has a healthy appetite or whether I am being deceived by my own overwhelming greed……”
He ends with this prayer that I join him in praying today:
“I call upon you, O Lord, and offer up all my confusion to you. Help me to clearly discern my own motives. Because food and drink are needs and pleasures, this is not the kind of thing I can renounce once and for all, as I was able to do with fornication. And who, Lord, is not sometimes carried beyond the bounds of “necessity?” I ask you, O Lord, to help me keep a right grip, neither too loose or too tight, on the reins of my palate. Confessions 10
I think this prayer fits just about any issue we are struggling with……..
I present my humble offering of Gratitude today, continuing the count with the community of believers………
A brand new tomato, which Elaine presented to the neighbor lady next door, little sprouts that reach toward the sun, another Sunday to worship and yes, enjoy eating outside before it gets too hot…..laughter and conversation with our neighbors……phone calls across the miles that bring us close……healthy discussions about what we heard yesterday in church……a healthy body and an abundance of food…..projects that provide a sense of accomplishment……two mornings of not having to get up early…..the Holy Spirit that gives us the strength to do what we cannot……#878-888
 

When God writes a story……

We have a history, this girl and our family. It seems like forever ago that she came into our lives, and forever since I had seen her. Her folks lived right next door for a time, and my Mom having never met a stranger, got to know them. My Mom started to take care of Heather after her Mom went back to work…..She would arrive in the mornings like a little Anne Geddes baby, smelling as sweet as a rosebud. She grew into our hearts, this girl with the mischievous and independent spirit. She was part of our family.

When it came time for my wedding, I knew Heather just had to be in it.

When I look at this picture now, I see everything that came after for us both. But back then, it was as the Carpenter’s song said, a day of “white lace and promises.” Soon after, my brand new husband would be gone from this earth, leaving a chasm so deep I didn’t know how I would ever get over it. But God brought me through that. Brought us all through that.

As Heather got older, my Mom kept in touch…..saw her at the store every now and then. She went through that “all in black” stage when she hit her teens. Fell in with the wrong crowd as they say. We heard she was having some hard times, some struggles. And then she was lost to us. We heard snatches of things here and there from her Aunt, none of the news very good. Her Aunt would tell us to pray, so that is what we did.

Her Dad died, and after that it seemed we didn’t hear anything at all for a very long time. She was lost to us, and I am sure she would agree, lost to herself for those many years. My Mom worried and prayed, and I am sure her own Mom did too.

Mom persisted through the years, kept checking up, kept praying that some day the news would be good. And one day it was……It seemed that Heather had resurfaced. She had come out the other side of some hard times. She got away from some influences that were better left behind. She got a good job and kept it.

She was baptised into new life in the Puget Sound.

And what a joyous time it was, when she and Mom met again that first time after so long. She said, “I got my girl back….” I can only imagine the tears of joy that were shed that day. God closed a gap  for them on all those missing years.

I was thrilled at the news, and though I had contacted her on Facebook, I still hadn’t seen her in person.When I heard she was going to be in Phoenix, I knew there was no way I could let her go back home without seeing her, especially when I found out her Mom was with her.

And as I got ready, I was so nervous. I fussed about what to wear. I worried what she’d think of me now, no longer young, like she remembered me. And when did my teeth get so yellow? How blotchy my skin was. I critiqued myself before the mirror. Maybe we have nothing in common, I thought. Maybe she won’t even like me…….

As we waited in the lobby for her to come down, I paced. I chatted nervously with Elaine, who had last seen Heather the same time as me, around 1988 or 89. I saw her face change as she looked at something behind me, and suddenly I felt two hands covering my eyes, and a warm embrace from behind.

And all of a sudden, those years fell away, and so did all my worries. As I looked in her eyes, I saw love shining out. Our Heather was back.

We talked and laughed for 5 hours straight, the four of us. Her Mom and Elaine found they had some things in common, they compared notes on caretaking, since her husband is on the same medications as Elaine’s Mom for Dementia. I could see the stress, the weight of it in her eyes.

When we went to leave at the end of the night, Heather called me “Sis” and picked me up like I was the kid, I realized again, that family doesn’t neccesarily have to mean blood.

What it does mean is love unconditional no matter what. For better and for worse. 

Friends, family and prayer holds us over to the better parts of life. Life is a combo plate, no doubt about it. With its own mixture of happy and sad, sprinkled with tears of laughter and sorrow. When I looked at the four of us on Tuesday I saw everything we have gone through, all of us. I saw some strong women, and an even stronger God.

All these years I have carried a memory of a little girl, reading out loud from a book my Mom used to read to her as they sat close, about how God’s love will always find you. “Even if I sank deep, deep to the bottom of the ocean, Your love would find me.”  It did Heather, it did.

It found us all. When God weaves a story, the ending is always happy.

And didn’t she turn out beautifully? I am kicking myself ever since for not getting a photo of us together….but that is for next time, I guess.

A special thanks to my Mom who never gave up on bringing Heather back into our circle of life and to Heather’s Mom for inviting us back in.

When life feels stagnant

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Revelation 21:5,6

I was kind of pouting yesterday…….Well, complaining actually. I was informed I have to train yet another person for my job because the person I just got finished training may go on to another position……may. He is interviewing for other jobs. To be honest, it irritated me. That means I am stuck here once again.

But the Holy Spirit did His convicting work rather quickly. Pulled me up short. He does that to me often. He said, “Being stuck is a luxury you have that many others would give anything for…” Including my own brother. Oh, God forgive me. And if I feel stuck, I have no one to blame but myself.  I have options, I have retirement (as of right now), I have health care, I have time off, paid time off…….I started ticking them off, all the blessings. So many. And I realized again that Gratitude is the key. It is what keeps the fresh water flowing in our lives.

God forgive me.

The truth is, as people of God, we never ever have to feel stagnant or stuck, anywhere. Our God is the God who makes all things new. And when Jesus came up out of that grave, He made all things new forever!

Revelation is speaking of a time to come, when God surely will create a new Heaven and a new Earth, but part of that promise belongs to the here and now. Wherever we are, whatever we are doing, it won’t last forever. We may feel stuck, but right in the middle of that stagnant pool, Jesus stirs the waters.

He is our living water, and He always has a fresh supply.

Meanwhile, my brother and so many others are wondering if they will be able to keep their jobs, if they will be able to find a job, wondering whether they will lose their health care.

Meanwhile a little girl is missing here in Arizona, and parents are facing something so terrible I can’t even imagine it. Please pray for the safe return of little 6 year old Isabel.

My heart aches for them today.

A little bird told me

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31

This verse comes just about in the middle of Chapter 10 when Jesus is sending His disciples out two by two. I take comfort in how many times He told the disciples not to fear. I guess I shouldn’t take comfort in that, that they feared, but I do. Let’s face it, the world out there can be a scary place.

Each day He sends us out too, and we never know who or what we might run into.

I guess that’s why I like birds……they remind me that God takes record of every one that falls from the sky and He is taking care of me too.

When I look at this little guy, a little ordinary brown sparrow, I see a master Designer at work. I see a hundred different shades of grey, brown, tan. I look at how the feathers fold so neatly together, how those little feet can grip just about anything. Perfectly suited to their environment.

God has placed His Own Spirit within us, so that we may be totally effective. Not only that, like this little bird, when we are controlled by the Spirit, we are perfectly suited to go out into the world and be God’s hands and feet. But it’s a battle, no doubt about it. At times I read that list of the gifts of the Spirit and I see where I am glaringly lacking.

There are far too many times I take the Spirit places He should never be, with my thoughts, my words, my actions.

And yet, still He strives with me.

Sometimes I pretend, it’s just me and Jesus. And He’s giving me a pep talk in my morning prayer. That is what it really comes down to, every day.

Me and Jesus face to face. And In that moment when I meet Him, the world falls away, and nothing else matters. When He looks in my eyes, He sees my heart.

He still wants me.

Getting Small

Sometimes, when life gets overwhelming, it’s a good thing to shrink yourself down and get close to a tree……and remember when you were small and the world was a very magical place where you believed leprechauns hid behind trees and watched you, and fairies played with fireflies at dusk.
You have to get small again and open your ears to what God wants to say in the deep silence.
He is saying, “See here……I have created all this beauty that you walk by everyday, just so you will know that I am here,
I have not left you and I never will.

I have made my mark and written my name across everything I have created…….and I made the moon so that you could look upon my face and be reminded and be comforted.”

At times like these, I know why Jesus called His Spirit the Comforter……Just when I feel left out in the cold, like everyone “gets it” but me…..He comes and warms like a fire from the inside out.

His touch cures the ails of this world like nothing else can.

Just for today

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 4:12-14

My prayer journal this morning:

Just for today, Lord, help me to embrace this day, knowing that each day holds hope with You. Help me not spend too much time in the past or future, for that robs the present. Too much time thinking about the path behind me leads to over-analyzing and regret that paralyzes my actions today. I want to see today in full color, Lord and not miss the moment.

And help me also, not to waste time worrying about the future. Try as I might, I can’t see what’s around the bend. And if I try to run ahead, I realize that is not part of Your plan. Every time you obscure what I am so desperately trying to figure out.

Help me to learn the lesson of the manna…….only enough for one day and one day only.

You have placed me right here in this present and it’s no accident. You meant for me to be right here. In this decade, year, month……day…..moment.

These moments are manna…….while fluffy manna floating down out of Your hand, a precious gift.

I can eat my fill of everything you give me, right now today, and now that I will have enough tomorrow and the next, until I am where You are. Help me to honor you by staying in this present you have given me, and know that I can treasure the past and look forward to my future.

Knowing it is secure in You.

Multitudes on Monday

I love that we started out in a garden…….And I also love that Mary mistook Jesus for the gardener when she first saw him after He rose again. Somehow the garden holds great significance for God and for us. I don’t think it is any accident that it was also a garden where He suffered either.

There is something supernatural about a little patch of earth. Something of Heaven. I always feel closer to God next to the earth. I love how you can make a garden anywhere. You don’t have to have a lot of space and you don’t even have to live in a part of the world where the weather is cooperative or mild. No matter if the dirt is like clay, you can buy good dirt where plants will thrive.

And then, there are all the wonderful analogies about seeds, planting, and harvest the Bible uses. It just seems right to have a little place where you can sit and meditate on all these things……and here is the magic part. It can even happen on a little window sill of a 16th floor apartment, that’s the beauty of it.

My illustrious friend puts in gardens and landscaping and watering systems the way others arrange furniture….I always tell her she missed her calling, then again maybe she didn’t. She has build a little oasis right here in the desert. A place where all but the very hardiest refuse to grow. Who would think to do it?

Dreamers, and life-givers, and gardeners that’s who……people who don’t mind getting a little dirt under their fingernails, people who love the seeing results, people who love to see things grow, and someone who loves to bring something out of nothing……who coaxes a green shoot out of a small seed.

Bringing life out of something dormant.

Someone who doesn’t see the impossible, but someone who has a vision and carries it out, who says, “I could plant a garden there…..”

Kinda like God did once upon a time.

Blessings in number…….#867-877

A new place to dream……..tomatoes coming……promise of new life in the desert……evenings to eat outside…..days that are warm, but not too warm yet…….friends to sit and dream with…….family that binds us all together……good hard work that gives satisfaction…….gathering with the saints in worship, one more Sunday…..answered prayer for my brother

Grace Blows Through Our Days

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Not only that, He rose for us too……In light of those two facts, everything else in this life can be worked out. Some days are good mostly all the way through, but the average day holds a bit of everything mixed in. Just living in this world is a challenge. Yesterday was a hodgepodge but overall it was good. The usual worries cycled through my head on the way to work. I started to pray and stared off into the road ahead, my thoughts veer off as I hold study to the wheel.

The weather was beautiful and a bit cloudy, all the more beautiful since May and June are coming, and that’s when the heat starts.  In my heart are the usual faces I send up into the throne of Grace.

I think of my brother, who works for The City of Stockton, a whole city on the brink of bankruptcy. He is caught like so many loyal employees, in the middle. Unsure of his job, unsure of his retirement, having to decide whether to let go and move on, or stay onbeard a sinking ship. A dear friend texted me yesterday, going through many hardships with a son, so much hurt, so much hardship, I could feel the pain in the middle of all the words flashing across my phone…..And my dear friend battling daily her own health issues as well as her Mom’s Alzheimer’s…..

And no matter how someone says, “It’s not really them, it’s the drugs…..it’s the Alzheimer’s…..it’s the whatever” that’s doing it, you still feel the betrayal, the indifference like a knife in your heart. You still feel the fatigue of moving through quicksand each day.

And yet…..there are moments of joy, moments of grace wound throughout our days. We know we are more than conquerors, after all, it’s in the very lifeblood and DNA of our faith and it will not let us go. God gives us a supernatural hope that makes it possible to go on…..even be an encouragement to others.

There was an NPR article about the City of Stockton on the net yesterday and I felt a pang in my heart….so many good people who worked so hard to make a downtown, a marina, a beautiful park where people would want to come with their children, enjoy the weather, live life, and now it is all in jeopardy due to gross mis-management and politics and who knows what all else.

And when my brother got home to tuck into the meatloaf my Mom had made, she said he had a quizzical expression as he said, “Did you do something different to this?” Right away she knew what it was and burst out laughing. She remembered being sidetracked when she saw the syrup bottle on the counter right by the meatloaf. It was left out. And you know that when you have a special needs child around, you have to be on your toes. Lauryn had decided that the meatloaf needed a sauce…..a syrup sauce. In her mind it made perfect sense. Oh how I wish I could have been there watching her when she did it.

In the process, she gave her Daddy and Grandma, and me, when she told me about it last night, a good laugh.

And right then, we felt God’s good grace in what a little girl did.

House of Prayer #2

 

The title of this book struck me first, and the fact that this was a memoir set in the South pulled me in further. But the opening line was so intriguing that I had to check this book out even though I am already two books deep into a reading list I started last week. When I closed the cover yesterday after reading just about nonstop, I felt like I had just come to the end of a roller coaster ride and yet the book was still zinging around in my head.

It is written a bit differently than many memoirs I have read, entirely in the second person. But the story is what whisks you away from the start. There are also quotes throughout the book that are like hidden gems in the grass waiting to be found. This book will take you on a journey. It is part magical mystery tour, part train-wreck, part heartbreaking, and part hysterical.

It is disconcerting, jarring, gritty, and extremely real. It is like reading through a life in one long sentence. I really enjoyed this book. Several times I had to remind myself that I was not reading a fiction novel, but that this was the story of someones actual life.

This book is proof that truth can indeed be stranger than fiction at times.

Thoughts

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. 1 Thessalonians 4:11

There is something divine about the simplistic beauty of doing tasks around the house……around the yard. There are times when everything you set out to do seems thwarted by some sinister being you can’t see, and then there are those times where everything flows and there is a rhythm in it. One task leads to another and there is supreme satistaction that comes when a task is complete. A peacefulness.

That was today.

I wonder about the time when I will no longer be able to “do.” I think that Jesus will come back before then but I really don’t know. The way the world is going, I don’t think He can keep from coming down and straightening this mess out for very much longer. But that’s just me. I wonder about the “full number” the Bible talks about. I picture Jesus on His throne in His Nikes just waiting for that magic number to come up, and Him coming down here faster than a lightning bolt.

I wonder about the trumpet blast. I wonder if I will really be ready or if he will catch me off-guard. Every now and then I go to a movie on a Sunday, and I sincerely hope He doesn’t come back on one of those times. I have just enough Baptist in me not to want that to happen.

Funny the thoughts that float around in this little ‘ole mind of mine.

That’s me today, just thinkin thoughts and writing them down…….