Dawn

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I only have time for eternity………Thomas Merton

Opening Verse:

Praises and canticles anticipate each day the singing bells that wake the sun.

Open the secret eye of faith, and drink and drink these invisible deeps of invisible light.

When psalms surprise me with their music And antiphons turn to rum The Spirit sings: the bottom drops out of my soul.

And from the center of my cellar, Love, louder than thunder Opens a heaven of naked air.
New eyes awaken. I send Love’s name into the world with wings And songs grow up around me like a jungle.

Choirs of all creatures sing the tunes Your Spirit played in Eden. Zebras and antelopes and birds of paradise Shine on the face of the abyss And I am drunk with the great wilderness Of the sixth day in Genesis.

From: The Collected Poems of Thomas Merton

I go for months at a time without reading the words of Thomas Merton and then when I do, they reward me all over again with fresh wonder and power. Every now and again, a writer has the power to leave you breathless with their fierce beauty. Thomas Merton does that for me. Every time.

In the half-light of dawn this morning in prayer, once again he swept me away to eternity with his words. I thought of him then, in Heaven, gazing around with wonder……a spool of endless time and nothing to do but give God praise for all he sees.

I go for months at a time without reading his words and then when I do, they reward me all over again with fresh wonder and power.

We dream of something better because……there is.

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How perfect is that? Even a quote from Robert Frost on the porch!

Against the background of KBAQ classical I listened absently to the rhythmic sound of tires rolling over rubberized asphalt and relaxed into my 35 minute freeway commute this morning. With the moon peeking through clouds overhead, I imagined being in another place. Anywhere but on my way to work. I dreamed up a perfect Pinterest scene.

In my mind, I was carrying my mug of frothe topped coffee over to a perfect writing spot. A freshly baked scone was already there waiting. And Bach Suites played in the background. As I took that first life-giving sip of the day, I settled into a spot with a comfortable table and even more comfortable chair, facing low windows that opened out. You know the kind.

We all have those places we dream about. There is something inside each one of us that reaches for the heights of somewhere else. We were meant for more than this my friends. While we live in a world of wood, plaster, chipping concrete, and graffiti, and time that wears the years out of everything.

Deep inside we know we were meant for marbled halls and vaulted ceilings.

Personally, I’d like a bit of the beauty of Highclere Castle with the warmth of a cottage smack dap in the middle of Midford, right next to Happy Endings bookstore.

Thankfully, I love my home. When I walk in the door, it’s an oasis. It’s a little bit of how it will feel to finally reach those shores of Heaven. And it will never end.

Heaven is what we were all made for. We were made to last for eternity, and we will. But right now I can have a little bit here, for when I sit at home on a day off, I feel much like the scene I created before. And the beauty of it all is that no matter where I am, I carry Him with me.

That’s what Jesus was talking about when He said the kingdom of Heaven is within you. Right here, right now. We can’t manufacture it for ourselves. It’s God’s great gift.

And until I reach those eternal shores? It’s the next best thing.

One day the Pharisees asked Jesus, “When will the Kingdom of God begin?” Jesus replied, “The Kingdom of God isn’t ushered in with visible signs.You won’t be able to say, ‘It has begun here in this place or there in that part of the country.’ For the Kingdom of God is within you.” Luke 17:20,21

Right now I am work. But at the same time, I am touching the edge of Heaven with my toes in the sand of its shore. Selah.

 

picture from my Pinterest board labeled “Dream Home.” via flickr

Just As I Am……

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“How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher?” Romans 10:14

I felt like I was time-traveling as I sat and watched the recent Billy Graham telecast, My Hope. It was that voice that brought it all back. Suddenly it was the 1970’s again, and I was in my early teens. Somewhere out there were still hippies and leftover flower children. Nixon might have declared the war in Vietnam over, but it still went on, over there and over here. But I was young and times were simple, peaceful in the evangelical world I grew up in.

The seventies brought modern translations of the Bible like “The “Good News for Modern Man” and the revolutionary,”The Way.” The old guard at my Baptist church didn’t approve. According to them, only the King James version was acceptible to God. And Jesus wore pin-striped suits. Yeah.

Those were the years of “Campus Crusade for Christ” and “Up with People”

We read spellbound about how gang member Nicky Cruz was brought to Christ by David Wilkerson’s fearless witness.

The Hiding Place movie came out, the story of what happened to Corrie Ten Boom’s family during the Holocaust.

And I am sitting in my Grandma’s warm kitchen watching the ORU singing group, the World Action Singers on her black and white set. She had an open line to the Prayer Tower and she was fond of both Oral Roberts and Ronald Reagan. Their pictures were scotch-taped in strategic places on her walls. In her broken German accent she could never master Oral’s name, instead it came out something like “Earlen B. Robbins.”

We watched Billy Graham crusades every time they came on TV.

I remembered the line he always said right before he gave the invitation to do that something bold.

That something bold was to step out of your seat and make your way to the aisle to start that trembling, wobbly, floating on your feet walk down the aisle to make a public declaration of your faith.

His message has never varied, it was always and only the Cross. Billy saw no need to fancy it up, to change with the times because he knew its message is timeless.

It’s what was known as the Altar Call. Some churches still have them. I remember the line from every crusade I ever watched. What Billy always said was, “Everyone that Jesus called he called publicly.” He always said it with a grand sweep of his arm as only he could say it.

Once, Billy Graham’s team came to my hometown and held a crusade at our festival grounds. He wasn’t there but another speaker was. All these years later I can still see his face, Lane Adams was his name. I knew by the end of that crusade that I would make that walk down my own church aisle the next Sunday.

I was fourteen and It was the best decision I ever made.

Then there was the time we all went to an actual crusade. I will never forget it. It was a hot, sweltering night in California’s beautiful capital city of Sacramento. We had to walk for what seemed like miles.

And I saw him from far, far away, and heard him speak. And it was powerful. A singer sang that night and I remember thinking, who is that girl and why does she have two first names? The singer was a young Sandy Patti. She was unknown then, but she went on to win Grammy’s and Dove awards. And she still has one of the finest voices you will ever hear.

And then Billy’s closing statements, and there was a hush as people fidgeted in the heat, shifting positions. And then the opening bar of “Just As I Am……” I can still hear the rustling of all that movement. A sea of people rose from all directions and just kept coming. It seemed there might be more up front than out in the crowd. I’ll never forget it.

My last church had an altar call, but I haven’t been to a service where they had one in a long while. Now it’s the declaration of “eyes closed, and heads bowed and a wave of the hand.” Somehow that doesn’t work for me. It’s just not the same. To me, it’s the most Holy moment of church and it brings us all closer together.

For how can we celebrate as a church family if we don’t even know it happened?

How can we acknowledge it when it happens behind closed doors?

For everyone Jesus called, He called publicly.

And He said unto them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19

On stumbling

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 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

Jude 1: 24,25

And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.  For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

1 John 3:19:23

It is no surprise to God that there will be times when we fall. Some days feel like one fall after another, but these verses bring me great hope today. I think sometimes we mistake weaknesses for sin. I have come to be thankful for those “thorn’s in my flesh,” such as the Apostle Paul described, for they bring me closer to the Lord and allow me to see the power of the cross all over again.

Those things that I used to resent, I now count as God’s blessings because they force me to rely on Him. It’s the process of turning those things over to him which causes us to grow; that gives God His rightful place on the throne of our hearts.

Sometimes the turning it over becomes the battle of our lives. The battle of our days.

All those things we once thought were so overwhelming lose their power the second we give them to the One who has the power to change them. Some things He does heal, some things He does take away, but some things he leaves us as reminders of who we need to trust. And how He loves us. Better to have a little weakness and boast in what God can do, as opposed to thinking we have none and boasting in ourselves.

Today I rejoice in God my Savior, for all He is, for all He’s done, and for all He continues to do in my life.

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.  And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast  about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

What about you? Is there something you are struggling with today? Leave a request in the comments and I would be happy to pray for you……

photo credit: awrose via flickr, creative commons: some rights reserved.

In the early morning hours

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I thank you God for still loving me despite the crazy thoughts, those prayers wrapped in fear that I whisper in the dark. Thank you for enfolding me in your love after I have dumped all my garbage in your lap.

Thank you for always meeting me, no matter what time it is. Bound up as we are in these hours between day and night we sometimes forget that you are outside the constraints of it. You’re always awake, nothing slips your notice, Lord.

Time and time again I am surprised when you don’t reject me. Instead you throw Your arms open wide as you nudge me towards your Word, which is the source of all comfort.

This morning, when I knew I wouldn’t go back to sleep, I started the coffee and grabbed the big heavy robe. The one I always reach for when I just can’t seem to get warm. I went outside under the canopy of stars, my fingers wrapped around my coffee mug, and I looked at the constellations and saw that they were all still there and saw it again for the miracle it is.

I went back inside and opened my devotional book to this:

You can live as close to me as you choose, I set up no barriers between us; neither do I tear down barriers that you erect……Sarah Young, “Jesus Calling”

And then towards the bottom,

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, I will meet all your needs according to my glorious riches. Nothing in all creation will be able to separate you from My love.

Beautiful lines of Scripture from Genesis, Philippians, and Romans. It was all the confirmation I needed.

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A Dad’s Memory

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My Dad called. He said, “I wrote it all down, about our adventure of moving to Tahoe and how I remember it.” It came yesterday in the mail, and the pages tumbled out when I tore the envelope. “Do you think you could type it all down since I am not such a good typist?” I want to be able to read it, he said.

And in the writing it, and the reading of it, I knew he was reliving something powerful.

“I will do my best, Dad,” I said. And it’s an honor. When someone has put their heart on a page, you have to be careful with it. It’s something almost sacred that they are trusting you with, not just words on a page. I will keep the handwritten version for myself and I will save the other version on my computer, the one I will type neatly with no lines crossed out. No bold underlines. I will try to put the feeling in it, just the way he felt it.

I will do my best to bring it to life as he lived it.

Because our stories, our memories, is what we have. In sharing those, we open ourselves, our hearts to each other.

And it’s always a risk.

Because there is always the chance they won’t see it or feel it the way we intended. And that’s okay. We still have to share it.

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As I picked up the pages again, I saw the way he wrote and I thought of how someday he won’t be here. Even now, I squeeze my eyes shut to keep tears from leaking out because I know it’s true. Someday the letters will stop. And I will imagine him sitting in a corner spot of light in Heaven with a big feather quilled pen. Writing his thoughts of all the beauty he sees, and meeting Jesus for the first time.

I have words in my treasure box, so many words gathered over the years. Sacred ones. The lid no longer shuts, but I slide them in anyway.

Because words from someone you love are always sacred.

I will do my best, Dad with your memory. Here is my only memory of it. I remember standing in something I now know was snow and crying because I didn’t like the cold.

And someone, probably you, sticking a ski pole in a snow bank so I could see the holes it made.

That’s it.

I think maybe you can fill the blanks in my mind, since I was only 2.

We will relive it together and then it will be ours to share.

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God, the first Prepper

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Your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left. Isaiah 30:21

There are many decisions we have to make while we are here on this planet. Literally thousands. But out of all those decisions we think are so important:

Who we marry, if we marry.

Whether we have children……how many.

What school we attend, where we graduate, where we move, what we choose for our degree and life’s work.

How much money we have and how much stuff we pile around ourselves.

The ideas that shape how we think and what we believe about life and how we treat others.

Not to mention all those innumerable decisions that lie between all those bigger ones. The ones that begin to circle around in our brain and squawk for an answer almost the second we open our eyes in the morning.

None of those decisions really matter in the light of eternity. Not one.

The only decision that really matters in this life is what we decide about Jesus. Not only what we decide about Him, what we do about Him. You see, Jesus demands an answer. And the answer always involves an action. He asked Peter:

But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” As in:

Jesus Christ, the anointed one, the savior of mankind, the Son of the living God, and God himself. Apart from him no one can enter heaven or receive eternal life.

There is also a terrible default if you decide nothing: It’s a place Jesus talked about as real and believe me, you don’t want to go there.

The Bible is a roadmap that explains everything we need to know about living a successful life according to God, a guidebook for those preparing for eternity.

I guess you could say that God was the first “Prepper.” We hear a lot about Preppers these days. There is even a show called “Doomsday Preppers,” and if you Google the word Prepper, you will be amazed how many websites are out there. People are more consumed with the end of the world than ever. Apocalypse and Doomsday theories abound.

God has been preparing from the very beginning. He knew we would need saving even before we did and He has given us very clear instructions of how He wants us to prepare for the future. It’s the only Prepper manual we will ever need. Here are the facts:

God loves us. John 3:16

We are all sinners, every last one of us. Romans 3:23

Before we accept Christ, we are already dead in sin. Romans 6:23

Jesus died in our place and rose again on the third day so we can too. Romans 5:6

We can be saved by faith. Acts 16:31

God will never turn anyone away who calls on His name. Romans 10:13

Lastly and most importantly, there is no other name given by which we can be saved.  Acts 4:12

No one else ever conquered death like Jesus did. Not only that, right now He is preparing a place for us, a place so wonderful it defies description. I guess you could say that Jesus is a Prepper too.

I pray that in the quiet and not so quiet moments of your day today, you would meditate on God and how much He loves you. How He wants to be a part of every waking moment of your life. And if you never felt you mattered to your parents, your kids, or anyone. Know this today.

You matter to God. He loves you more than you know.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home.If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.” John 14:1-4

Finding our strength in the quiet

Life is a prayer

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says: In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. Isaiah 30:15

Too much of what we take part of in this modern world is unnatural, that’s why we don’t have peace–we don’t even know how to go about getting it. In Reading the Psalms, praying in the quiet hours, sitting in the silence concentrating on only the beating of our heart, our breathing slow in and out we remember who we are and who God is and who we are in Him.

That is what is known as meditation. And it’s not just for mystics and yogis.

It’s in concentrating on our own brokenness that we can begin to see the brokenness in others. And yet………

All to often we won’t turn towards our fellow believers so we can help each other mend. If we keep insisting we are all okay, we will never reach that place called the Kingdom of Heaven that Jesus was talking about.

The Spirit of reconciliation, that’s what God desires for His church……may it come Lord Jesus. Find Him in the quiet moments today.

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But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:2

Pray for Kate

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For far too many people the bulk of their daily lives consists of the inner walls of the waiting rooms of hospitals and doctors offices.  While the rest of us have the luxury of going about our lives celebrating joys and accomplishments, breathing freedom, complaining about everyday things, juggling bills, jobs we might hate, their reality is much different. They live in a sea of uncertainty from one procedure to the next, never knowing what the outcome will be.

I thought of all these people when I went to take Sydney to the vet last week. It was traumatic for him and me. He peed all over the cage and nestled his head in my arm for protection, overwhelmed by all the smells and the ride in the car. By the end of it, I was a nervous wreck. I thought of the little girl, Kate, whose story I have been following ever since 2009, when she was diagnosed with a massive, aggressive brain tumor. They were able to remove only half of it, because of the location in her brain.

Kate’s family has been a source of great inspiration to me and people all over the world as we have watched this brave family deal with this in light of their faith. Their strength and commitment to the Lord throws a light on all the darkness in a way that is simply miraculous. For four years now they have walked through the shadows of death with Kate, and yet remarkably, today, she is cancer free. And yet, the devastating effects of the chemo and massive doses of radiation are a grim reality and reminder of a still uncertain outcome.

Please follow this link, to read Kate’s Mom’s latest journal entry on Caring Bridge here……and join me in prayer for these wonderful people and Kate who is one of the most courageous little girls I know about.

Church on the Mountain

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“And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you; for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins. But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.” Matthew 26:27-29

“I have an idea!” She said. “Let’s have church on the mountain tomorrow.”

“Excellent!” I said…….”Let’s do it, and we’ll have communion up there too!”

When you are between churches like we are right now, sometimes you have to be creative, leave a little room for the Spirit to work. So this morning, I packed it all together in my camera bag. Cranberry juice and oyster crackers stood in place of the bread and wine.

On the way up the trail, nestled in my bag, I heard them clink together softly and I smiled to myself.

Jesus and I had a secret.

I paused by a Joshua Tree, remembering the words I had read earlier that morning about how they pushed the cruel crown of thorns down on His brow until it bled in rivers down His face. God’s face.

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As we got to the top, I paused to let a family come down. Their two little boys were very loud and I was ready for the quiet, for the moment to pause and remember. I waited for E to join me. She had to backtrack because she was talking to a lady hiking with her dog and got side-tracked and missed the turn for Huff and Puff.

We scrambled over rocks and carefully picked our way to the top and I jostled around looking for a flat place to set up. As I presented the heart-shaped doily and stemmed glasses, she laughed. “I should have known!”

Nothing is too good for Jesus, after all.

It was a bit windy, so she held onto the glasses while I aimed for the shot. This was our view.

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While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.” Matthew 26:26

There on the mountain, we each settled with our elements in hand, having lost only a little a splash of juice and a few crackers that had rolled down the mountain. I didn’t even need to find the verses in my iPhone because the words were already in her heart, and they sprang free, flowing out like rivers of living water as she lifted her glass:

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The words come naturally to one whose life has truly been changed. No rehearsal is necessary.

“Do this,” He said. “As a remembrance.”

The lady on the trail had asked if we were sisters. E told her yes, sisters of the best possible kind.

Soul sisters. Kindred spirits. Sisters of the heart. Sisters in Christ.

“For where two or three gather together as my followers,I am there among them.” Matthew 18:20