Listening to my life…….

He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged. Isaiah 42:3

I have abstained from writing about all the current events because I wanted to let my thoughts settle. Listening to all the recent events my mind has felt like an unsettled pond and at the end of a long work week I feel like I can finally take a deep breath and let it settle somewhat. Between the horrific events involving the Islamic militants, Robin Williams, and Ferguson, Mo. it was like my mind just couldn’t keep up. There were plenty of other better writers and bloggers editorializing and I didn’t feel like I wanted to throw my voice into the ring. The ring was noisy and crowded and so was my mind.

Sometimes a writer has to know when it’s right to jump into the ring of fire or stay on the perimeter looking in for a while.

Last night we had one of our summer storms that are common for Arizona but never common for me. Storms are natures way of breaking loose, of showing us we are not in control. I went out to the freeway just before it hit and took a few shots and felt rewarded. I found the Superstitions veiled in a cloak of dust and clouds and God’s promise.

On the other side of the overpass, the sun was making her exit amidst the backdrop of clouds………

When I got home my Dad called, “I was reading Listening to Your Life, he said, do you have it?” I said yes……..then he paused and said, “I wonder if any of us really understands the Bible? We think we do, but sometimes I don’t think we have a clue what it means.” He went on the describe the passage he had read from the entry on February 8 and when I hung up I read it. Here is a partial reading:

When you find something in a human face that calls out to you, not just for help but in some sense for yourself, how far do you go in answering that call, how far can you go, seeing that you have your own life to get on with as much as he has his?

I thought of the sermon by Charles Stanley that I listened to that morning. He was talking about missed opportunities and how many pass us by each day. Then he went on to talk about Peter and how he could easily have said no thank you to Jesus offer to follow Him. After all, he had a livelihood, he had a life, he had a family to support. But something about Jesus made him realize that this offer was not like any other. As a result, Peter is one we recognize as being one of Jesus closest friends and followers. The rock on which the Church was built.

Parallel his life to that of the rich young ruler who had everything. He clung to his life and turned down Jesus’ offer. We never hear what happened to him but the Bible never says anything more about his life.

I believe it pays to listen to those closest to Heaven, children and old people. It pays to listen to your life and those around you. I am listening to mine today as I ask myself how far I am willing to go for Jesus. I give my allotted time and money and sometimes not even that. I don’t always focus on Him while I pray, I miss the Holy moments far too often and I tend to avoid people if I have a choice.

I am that weakest reed, that flickering candle. But my prayer today is “Thank you God, for not letting me go.”

Despite everything, He loves me. He strives with me. He sees me, the girl who gazes on His world with wonder and it makes Him smile that I notice.

God keeps a tally, the scales of justice are in His hands. He’s the one who will set things right ultimately, and that’s a promise. It doesn’t mean we stand back and do nothing, but it does mean that we can’t fix everything. Maybe we just fight the injustice in our own little corners for a start.

As for me, I went as far as that windy street corner up around 120th street and Broadway, and I can see him standing there as in some way he is standing there still. He is alone and making the best of it with his thin, church rummage overcoat flapping around his legs. His one free hand is raised in the air to wave goodbye. It was the last time. “Here and there in the world and now and then in ourselves,” Tillich said, “is a new Creation.” This side of glory, maybe that is the best we can hope for. Frederich Buechner, Listening to Your Life.

My Birthday is not about me, (not entirely anyway)

People probably wonder why I make a big deal out of Birthdays. Mine and everyone else’s. It’s simple really. It’s because my birth along with everyone else’s on earth is a bit of a miracle. The fact that someone wanted me here kind of blows my mind every single day, and my enthusiasm mingled with wonder and a little bit of awe doesn’t seem to be waning as the years go by.

If you are here reading this post, it’s because first and foremost, God wanted you here. You are of great worth to Him, you and your life!

To let my Birthday slide by as just another day is simply not acceptable, and it bothers me a little when grown adults say they don’t celebrate their Birthdays. Celebrating the day of our birth is a way of honoring God; it’s our acknowledgment that we’re grateful to be here; that we’ve made it this far as the song says, “through many dangers toils and snares.” Yes, especially as the years roll on.

When I think of all the impossible beauty I would have missed if I’d never been born and what beauty I have left to see, it fills me with gratitude that I’ve been given so much; and eternity stretches before me like a vast wonderland I have yet to explore. Yes, this is a thing to celebrate. Apparently God thinks it’s a big deal too:

Psalm 71:6 From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you.

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 148:5
Let them praise the name of the LORD, for at his command they were created ……

Proverbs 4:10
Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.

Proverbs 9:11
For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.

Ecclesiastes 11:8
However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all.

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

1 Corinthians 11:12
For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

James 1:18
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.

So today I will have cake and ice-cream and I will celebrate like a kid. And I won’t refuse any gifts. Celebrate with me today, won’t you? I give you permission. Join me in opening your eyes to the beauty all around us. If you have a porch, go out there with a bowl of ice-cream and enjoy the view. Share a coffee and dessert with someone you love. Eat that forbidden thing you never allow yourself to. Give someone a little unexpected gift. Unwrap the wonder with me today.

Because really, there is something to be thankful for every day.

“To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us – and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him. Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.” Thomas Merton

I did not make it, but it is making me……….

I believe in God the Father
Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit
Born of the virgin Mary
Suffered under Pontius Pilate
He was crucified and dead and buried

I believe that He who suffered was crucified, buried, and dead
He descended into hell and on the third day, rose again
He ascended into Heaven where He sits at God’s mighty right hand
I believe that He’s returning
To judge the quick and the dead of the sons of men

I believe in God the Father
Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord
I believe in the Holy Spirit
One Holy Church
The communion of Saints
The forgiveness of sin
I believe in the resurrection
I believe in a life that never ends

And I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
I did not make it, no it is making me
I said I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man

As I came in from prayer I put this song on today……..Creed by Rich Mullins. It’s taken from the Nicene Creed which is the profession of faith or creed that is most widely used in Christian liturgy. It forms the mainstream definition of Christianity for most Christians. It’s what unifies us all into One pure and undefiled church. Yes, one body made up of people from all over the world. All of us imperfect, many of us broken, all of us walking the same road toward the One we keep saying yes to, day after day.

My mind and heart goes to those Christians who have lost everything right now. In the past few months alone ISIS groups have gone door to door rounding up Christians along with other groups, herding them into trucks where they are driven off, killed and dumped in ditches. The same thing has happened in Kenya and Syria. For the first time in over a thousand years, church bells are silent in Mosul.

All because they have believed these words that I printed above, not only that, they have lived these words and paid the ultimate price. But also a key point not to overlook; not only have these radical Muslims killed and persecuted Christians, they have persecuted and killed their own people as well. They have no qualms about it. This is what I find most appalling. It’s the same thing that happened in Nazi Germany. If you didn’t pay homage to Hitler it didn’t matter if you were of German descent, you were considered a threat and imprisoned or killed.

This world is in a mess and it will get worse before it gets better, the Bible promises that. So what does that mean here in America where so many times, it’s not just Jesus, it’s Jesus plus my job security, Jesus plus my car, Jesus plus my family, Jesus plus my two glasses of wine at night, Jesus plus my 401K. It means we realize that when it all comes down to it. It has to be Jesus plus nothing.

That doesn’t mean we should feel guilty for what we have, it just means we remember who it really belongs to, and above all, if everything we had were stripped away, we would still have Him (and when we have Him we have everything we need.) What it means for me personally is that I have to loosen my grip on the things of the world and live each day with eternity before my eyes.

Please join me in prayer today for this world, a world that needs Jesus more and more. I know where my home is. I know where I am going. Our borders here in the US are crumbling and there is much I am not happy with. I feel like I am watching my own nation change into something I don’t recognize anymore.

But the anger over what I can’t change has dissolved. In its place, the Lord has put peace. Current events have caused me to reflect more, pray more. And that is never a bad thing. And today, I read Job 38 and once again, it brought tears to my eyes…………He is in control folks. Not to fear.

I walked in the rain

Last night I did what I always say I’m gonna do when it rains, I went out and took a walk in it. And it was marvelous. It was almost Holy, a Baptism from the skies. I walked once around the park, the silvery cold drops hitting my skin like mercy. That is what rain in the desert feels like you know. Those who have rain all the time just don’t understand what heaven it is.

I walked past all the dark and shuttered houses, and I heard the drops like music on all the metal carports, God’s percussion.

I kept walking as the rivulets of water started to collect en mass and pour down the middle of the streets. Amidst the stream there was a bubble parade and each one caught the streetlights, otherwise I never would have seen them. They were marching onward and I watched as they gathered, pooled and ran down the middle of the street like they were all-stars in a Mr. Bubble commercial.

My glasses covered in drops, I was looking out on a world transformed as though I were looking through prisms……I was the girl with kaleidoscope eyes. It was like when I was very small and would press my face to the glass when it rained, imagining another world in which everything and everyone were made of diamonds.

I wondered at all the quiet houses. Walking in the rain sounds crazy when you are inside looking out, but when you are actually in it, it seems like the most rational thing to do. Ask any kid. Watch them laugh as they turn their face to the heavens, catching drops. We tell them, come inside you’ll catch your death. When they are really trying to catch life.

I came inside. E was on the couch with the iPad and didn’t look up. She is used to my weird notions. She just smiles and nods when I say I’m gonna go around again. And I did.

On the way home I passed by Mama dove who was snug on top of her nest, where she has been for the past month. She peeked out from between the thorns, totally dry, totally safe……

I was soaked and it was wonderful. It was the perfect way to wash off the workweek.

“But if I were you, I would appeal to God;
    I would lay my cause before him.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
    miracles that cannot be counted.
He provides rain for the earth;
    he sends water on the countryside.
The lowly he sets on high,
    and those who mourn are lifted to safety.
He thwarts the plans of the crafty,
    so that their hands achieve no success.

Job 5:8-12

photo credit: google images

To the White Mustang

I saw the White Mustang fly by us and I knew exactly what he was going to do. We all did. I say “he” but it could have easily been a “she.” It was 5:15 and we were all in line to get on the freeway. We were waiting our turn like all law abiding citizens. The light was green and we had just started to move, when he sped by on the right and butted in line ahead of everyone.

Brake lights flashed, I fumed.

I hit my horn out of frustration and said a prayer that the person behind me was paying attention. They were, thankfully. When we finally got on the freeway the White Mustang screeched around and sped down the fast lane and I wished, I wished I wished……I hoped to see him stopped on the side of the road behind some red and blue flashing lights.

This kind of thing happens everyday. Just like people crowding ahead at the grocery store, or climbing over you at the theater. Rudeness is everywhere. You can’t escape it, but you can choose to deal with it in a healthy way. I don’t know why it got to me this morning. I guess something within us all wants to see someone get what they deserve. We want justice…..but at the same time, we want to escape it ourselves.

We breathe a sigh of relief when we get away with going over the speed limit when we are late for work. We want others to be punished but we want a “get out of jail free card.”

There have been many times where I didn’t get what I deserved, Instead I got a big helping of GRACE.

A little helping of grace goes a long way. And when we extend it to others, we are helping ourselves too. It’s like healing from the inside out. When we offer up God’s grace to others, even in small ways, we offer up the Grace of the Cross.

When we forgive, we become a living testimony because in the physical act of forgiveness we demonstrate that we remember what He did and what He continues to do for us every single day.

Maybe it’s someone else you need to forgive today, or maybe it’s yourself. Whoever it is, take a deep breath and give them a pass. Your heart will love you for it.

Dear Reader: I prayed for you today……..

“If you write for God you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men–you may make some money and you may give someone a little joy and you may make a noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disgusted that you will wish that you were dead.” Thomas Merton

I have found this to be somewhat true and the last sentence made me smile because that is classic Thomas Merton. In prayer this morning, I asked God what I should write about and I felt Him whisper that I needed to thank everyone who has ever taken an interest, read or followed my little blog at one time or another. So this is it. My thank you to you readers. It is extremely humbling to think someone takes interest enough to follow and it is my desire that in doing so, you will know the God I have come to love more.

That you will look in the mirror and see a wonderful reflection of Him, because if you are here, it’s because He wanted you here and He loves you and is interested in every detail of your waking and sleeping life. I also said a prayer for you, even if you don’t believe in prayer or have never prayed yourself. I think people like to know that someone is praying for them, even if they are not “prayers” themselves.

So please know today, as you board that commuter bus, train, car, as you take the first sip of your latte……someone is thinking of you. Praying for you.

And my prayer is that you might feel a little less burdened today.

Look up and feel God’s love rain down on you, and know that I appreciate you dear reader. Embrace your day today, see God wherever you turn, because He is there. See Him today as reflected in nature, the light and innocence of your child’s eyes, the sunrise, the birds that sing the day awake.

You are loved.

We love each other because he loved us first. 1 John 4:19 NLT

A Further Benediction

Last night God really raised a ruckus. Lightning flashed, thunder crashed all around us. That’s two nights of rain now. The night before the wind blew my car a little sideways and I had just finished complaining silently about how, “I just know we won’t get a drop of rain out of this.” Just after my turnoff it started. Everything the sky has held back for the past months it released. Instead of turning for the gym, I went home. I have been in flash floods in the desert where rivers of mud wash away roads.

The lightning and thunder we had last night though, that was something. I almost expected to see a seared place out in front of the house where the bolt hit. A couple of times the flash was blindingly close. The cats hid under the coffee table first, then when they thought the world was ending, they both hid under my bed.

I admit, I love storms. Watching a storm is like watching God do some of His best work. You can’t control it or Him. Sometimes we need that reminder. So last night, we watched the sky light up like daylight, and we heard Him play the drums and cymbals and I said a silent prayer for anyone caught out in it.

This morning I awoke to a further benediction, I got to read my devotions to the sound of pitter-patter rain on the roof. Another storm had silently crept in during the night. But this one was gentle and kind.

And now Pandora is playing someone named Helen Jane Long and piano is falling softly around me. Outside the world rages, but in here all is peace.

Last night during the rain I thought something I always think when it rains buckets, “What if it doesn’t stop?” I thought about Noah and the ark and how he must have felt a mixture of relief and terror when the first few drops hit. And the God-sealed door, and the animals two by two. And then the awful pounding to be let in.

But it was too late. Their lack of faith had failed them, and Noah’s faith has saved a new world.

This morning, everything feels fresh and new…………..and a new day full of the possibility of Redemption.

photo credit: google

Finding peace begins when we stop trying to figure it all out.

In the hushed silence bare light of morning, I kick the walnut Sydney loves to bat around and it skitters across the floor. The air outside is heavy with heat….too hot to pray out there, so I sit here reading Holy moments between the pages of Emily’s book. It’s here that He meets us. In the quiet, in the background of two cats snoring and my tailbone sore from sitting here on the floor by the bed.

Behind the peace, behind happy and content there are flickers of fear being tamped down. It seems to be a by-product of living this life, the wondering how long anything settled, sure and peaceful will last. But I have learned the secret of culling His peace here and now, for the Heaven on earth moments Jesus talked about are found in the miracles of each day. Real faith is found in between the everyday wrangling of trying to figure it all out; wondering how in the world the pieces are all going to come together.

Peace begins when we figure out God doesn’t expect us to figure it all out, but to trust that He already has.

My dreams are restless…..night before last, everyone was ready for the party except me, everybody lined up ready to go, polished and looking their best and I was late. I could find nothing to wear, even my underwear disappeared.

Last night it I was in my Grandmother’s old house on 501 South Lee with a black panther, I was thankful for those two pocket doors between the kitchen and living room and the kitchen and the den. I slipped those closed as the panther prowled beyond them.

And then I threw a party where everyone wanted to leave early.

Across the 600 plus miles between here and there, I feel my Mom’s burdens as she struggles with things that are difficult and things she can’t do at all. The sand in the hour-glass I see in my mind is pouring through faster with each passing year. A daughter understands a Mother’s burdens more than anyone and we both know it.

I also see my Dad longing for the peace that comes from not being able to do as much, fix as much, be as much in his own eyes, but not in mine.

It’s these in between times where fear nips at our heels at the uncertainty of life that our faith grows. It learns to live and breathe when we swim to the surface and break free, to stop thrashing about and see the ring God throws over the side of the boat.

I am so grateful for the peaceful rhythm that flows through these days. It’s what I have right now and I don’t want to miss anything by worrying about what will happen tomorrow. For God already has that.

He holds us all in His palm. He says: “Look behind you and see everything I have brought you through……..that’s your future!”

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it. Isaiah…..30:15

God speaks……….

The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; By understanding He established the heavens; By His knowledge the depths were broken up, And clouds drop down the dew.” Proverbs 3:

“The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; Acts 17:24

“He who made the Pleiades and Orion And changes deep darkness into morning, Who also darkens day into night, Who calls for the waters of the sea And pours them out on the surface of the earth, The LORD is His name.” Amos 5:8

“But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you; And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you. “Or speak to the earth, and let it teach you; And let the fish of the sea declare to you. “Who among all these does not know That the hand of the LORD has done this, read more.In whose hand is the life of every living thing, And the breath of all mankind?” Job 12: 7-10

God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things. And He has made from one bloodevery nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’ Acts 17:24-28

What a wonder that this God should want to know me personally, and wants us all to know Him the same way. He is the God who walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the evening……and who came to this earth as a man, walked where we walk, had conversations, ate food, had dust on His sandals and went back into Heaven where He intercedes for us to this day. His Spirit rests with us here and now, giving us strength and empowering us to do beyond what we ask or think…….the fact that we can experience Him here and now and say with confidence as we pray in a little quiet room or in our car, on the way somewhere, “I am with God and He is with me”……that is the miracle of the Christian life and experience. That is our reality. Who in the world would not want that?

God created animals because…………

Why did God create animals? The answer is simple and it’s the only right one. Because He loves us. Everything He created is an expression of His love for us. And because He knew that although human interaction is necessary for our well-being; He also knew that sometimes people would disappoint us. Animals have no ulterior motives, they don’t even know what that is.

Their love is a free expression given with no thought of what they will get in return and they remind us of the joy we had as children when we skipped no matter who was looking.

They will receive your hugs when others have backed away at your smell. They don’t care, in fact they like it better when we don’t shower. And they will never ask how you ended up on the streets because some of them are there too, just trying to survive. They will sit at your feet and listen impartially and give no argument, somehow you know they’re in your corner. They will huddle close when the nights are cold and you wonder where all your friends went.

They offer no judgments, and when we return their devotion, the rewards are endless. In their eyes we see the reflection of the God who created them to be our companions in this world which can sometimes be a lonely place. God knew that we would back away from Him too, and that’s why He created something so easy for us to love. For who could be threatened by a wagging tail or a winding around of your feet at the day’s end?

Animals have saved the lives of their people time and again. Read the stories of those whose lives have been transformed and healed from pain and addiction all because they discovered there is tremendous power in looking away from yourself and focusing on someone or something whose needs are as great or greater than your own. That rescuing an animal lost, alone and in distress had the power to bring them both out of the pit.

Why did God create animals? He created them in hopes that you will return their love and appreciation for what they give us, and that in loving them, our hearts will turn towards the God who created them and loves us with a love we can scarcely imagine.

We all know that there are times in this life when our sorrow is more than we can bear.

Crushed beneath a weight of sadness we go off to find a quiet place and sit for a while. We feel a brush of fur nudging our elbow, or a cold nose under our hand. We find they have followed us, sensing our loss. Tear fall on soft fur and they offer it up with no reservations. That’s what they do. And that’s what God longs to do too. There is nothing we have to do to earn His love, we had it even before creation.

God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. Acts 17:27

Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth the living creature according to its kind: cattle and creeping thing and beast of the earth, each according to its kind”; and it was so. And God made the beast of the earth according to its kind, cattle according to its kind, and everything that creeps on the earth according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:24,25

Photos found on Pinterest by Chris Teso, Tina Carter, Ana Muller, Dan Lee and the last one is via Google images of Street Cat Bob and James Bowen. Read about their inspiring story via their Facebook page.

Donation to the pets of the homeless foundation may be made here if you feel so inclined.

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6