My future belongs to Him


Today I as I was praying, I was thanking the Holy Spirit for His presence, instruction, and also for His conviction of sin in my life when He hit me with a thunderbolt almost immediately.

Lately I haven’t been excited about my future.
I have allowed worry, anxiety, and fear to crowd it out.
To move, or not to move, and when……
and other things that I can’t even control.

Forgive me, Lord for allowing Satan to have the upper hand for even one moment. I have allowed him to choke away my optimism and gradually he has worn me down.
How dare he!

It is easy to think that once you reach fifty that your best years are behind you, but I really don’t feel that way. I don’t want to. I remember feeling optimistic when I turned fifty last summer, so what has changed?

When did I forget that my pathway leads me only to more of You, Lord?
When did I stop believing that all the love around me would disappear when I got old?
I hear Your words…..”I will never leave you or forsake you“…..I grab hold.

Thank you Holy Spirit for this new feeling of hope! You alone hold, my past, present and future, Father. You have given me these precious days and years that are now stretched before me with hope and promise…..I bind the power of Satan right now in Jesus name, for he comes with one mission only, to kill, steal and destroy.

His power is now useless here, for You have once again exposed him for what he is!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16

Hallelujah!

I hate cars….


I really don’t hate cars, I know we can’t live without them anymore, but I didn’t want to hear them this morning. I awoke with the full expectation of not hearing that irritating, incessant hum….I want QUIET! Why did I hear it today? Isn’t it Saturday?

Then I remembered, “Country Thunder” is going on right now. Drat! The country music event that attracts thousands.

Those of you who live in quiet rural areas need to count your blessings. To those of us who live near major freeways, quiet is a luxury. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to post something nice and inspirational and meditative. Right now all I can hear is the incessant HUM.

I know, this is like complaining about planes overhead when you know full well the house you bought is next to an airport, it’s just that on Saturday I expect the quiet. Lord, help me to find the quiet in my soul today.

Tomorrow I will get up earlier!

Psalm 131:2
But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Dawn Chorus

Cactus Wren
When morning gilds the skies
my heart awakening cries:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
Alike at work and prayer,
to Jesus I repair:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
I think of singing that song in the Baptist Church where I was raised. I sometimes wish to travel back to those simpler times, where after church we would go to “Helwigs Cafe” with my Grandma and have chicken on a bun. That was her favorite thing to do on a Sunday. I don’t know that she ever really heard a sermon, I remember her rattling papers out loud and looking at her watch a lot. Bless her heart, I do miss her. I guess it is easy to be nostalgic about the past because we aren’t in it anymore.

As dawn colored the sky this morning I went out to pray…..the first few minutes was spent just listening to the bird chorus. There were the high trills, the repetitive calls, some sounding almost comical, in the background the low coo of the mourning dove, and the quails cry on the roof next door. It really did sound like a chorus, in fact that is what it is called!

“The dawn chorus occurs when songbirds sing at the start of a new day. This is most noticeable in spring, when the birds are either defending a breeding territory or trying to attract a mate. In a given location, it is common for different species to do their dawn singing at different times.” From Wikipedia

There is even an international dawn chorus day…….I had no idea!

Help me Lord, do all I need to do today with an attitude of love, letting go of what “should be” and accepting “what is”; knowing that you will be there every step of the way.

“Do everything without complaining or arguing,” Philippians 2:14

Blessings in disguise


The mourning doves accompanied my prayer time this morning as I crept out early, first cup in hand. Some people might think it irreverent for prayer posture, jostling my cup out there. They might think I should put first things first and wait for my caffeine jolt, but I think He enjoys that I want to share it with Him.

I prayed at the beginning of this sabbatical away from work, this unbelievable blessing I have, 60 days with pay….what other job does that? I prayed that I would be a blessing, that I didn’t want it to be all about me having time off to do whatever I wanted to do. I wanted to lift the time to Him to see what He would do.

Sometimes He gives the opportunity almost as soon as the prayer is breathed into the air. Be careful what you pray for! Dear friend’s Dad went into the hospital so I have been driving her Mom who has Alzheimer’s from our home to the hospital and back to her home. She has been staying here at night since she can’t stay alone.

As is so often the case in this life, things happen that are just not “just.” My friend has never been treated very well by her folks though she has always been the one to care for them. She is a natural caretaker and does what is right regardless. Preferential treatment brother who has caused them nothing but grief and heartache is, as usual, nowhere to be found.

So I was happy to help her bear this tremendous load. She is already taking care of two households so it is the least I can do. Yet I know it pained her to allow me to do it. I guess I will have to let her in on my prayer…..

As Christ-followers we make the choice to pick up our cross each day regardless, knowing He will be our strength. There is humor in every situation, and as my friend and I have discussed many times, Alzheimer’s can sometimes be a blessing, if you can call it that, in disguise. The disease tends to wash away all old hurts and wounds until there is nothing left but the caring. The looking after from day to day, much like caring for a small child.

I can’t imagine what must go on in her mind. Her Mom, once an excellent nurse who passed out meds everyday, now can’t remember to take her own. Once meticulous about her appearance, she forgets to shower for days at a time, her once perfectly coiffed hair is now disheveled, though to her credit she laughs when she looks in the mirror and realizes she needs to do something with it. It is hard to watch such a metamorphosis, heartbreaking really. Hard to watch when eyes go blank and she says she understands and you know she doesn’t.

I see the pain in friends eyes. It’s always harder when they are your parents, I think. Emotionally anyway. But today I am asking God to help me see her Mom as a young girl with hopes and dreams. She made one very important decision in her life and that was to have my friend when everyone advised her to have an abortion, since she had cancer when she was pregnant. I think of how many lives would not have been blessed, saved really if she had not been born.

“Thank you God, for helping me to serve in this small way. You know I am one who clings to my own free time. You know everything about me and still love me patiently step by step. Help me to learn the lessons you want me to learn. I love You for loving them too God, and for allowing us to keep our sense of humor in trying times and help me see others with Your eyes. In Jesus name, Amen”

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-12

Can anyone relate?


“For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live,” Romans 8:13
God has been working with me to take better care of my “temple.” It started a few years ago when The Spirit spoke to my heart about my drinking and I was finally ready to hear the truth. I was a habitual drinker, and if I wanted my walk with Christ to be real, I couldn’t be dependant on anything but Him.

Several weeks before Easter the church I have been going to started a Daniel fast. My friend and I talked about it and didn’t feel led to participate, but I wanted to give something up….I wanted to sacrifice something that I knew I would really need his help with. I had been trying to cut down on sugar anyway, so I thought this might be a boost to a new way of life. As a lifelong sugar addict, I knew it would be a real test. I have been known to hide candy in my closet, in drawers…. I had stashes!

So, I gave it up for four weeks! There were tests, but God held up His end, as always. I even bought 3 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for co-workers and had NOT ONE. Anyone who knows me knows how big that was. But……For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Hebrews 4:15

I did it! And I felt great, I actually started eating fruit, I never ate fruit before. This was a whole new way of life for me and I never could have done it on my own.

The biggest thing I noticed is that the cravings went away. Well, for the most part. The other day it hit me like a tidal wave. I had nothing sweet in the house, but then I saw it. The can of frosting in the pantry. I had it open and had two spoonfuls before I could stop myself. I had two more all the way out to the garbage can! Sometimes putting the flesh to death is like beating a snake with a garden hoe, but it can be done! I can do all things through Christ….

Now for the exercise part…….
”No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:2

Gratitude for time off…..

Grateful today for vacation memories that have washed over me…..thankful for the time away, an unbelievable luxury that many people don’t have. I thank you God, for these blessings.

Close-up view of God’s creation at Monterey Bay Aquarium#272,273
Seeing the wonder of the ocean through 11 yr old joy, Elaine’s Grandnephew Josh#274
One of Carmel’s many secret alleyways #275
Elaine, Bobby, and Josh at Hog’s Breath Inn and Restaurant, formerly owned by Clint Eastwood… many happy memories here#276

#277 The first glimpse of the ocean, may it never get old……#278 Sounds of ocean swells gulls crying overhead…..#279 Grateful to find that some places have remained the same…..#280 Finishing all the laundry….#281 Happy voices on the other end of the telephone, knowing we are home safe…..

Keeping the gratitude alive, along with Ann and many others….
holy experience

Evening Praise


As I was walking this morning I felt an unaccountable gloominess. A flatness. I waited for the joy that usually comes when I listen to the songs of praise, but it didn’t come. For someone who has just started a two month sabbatical, just coming off a wonderful vacation I should feel ecstatic, joyful. But the feeling doggedly haunted my steps. I praised God anyway. I passed some chalk drawings on the driveway, highly unusual in a retirement community; hopscotch and people with stick arms and legs. The whimsical innocent drawings of childhood made me smile, but there was also a sadness behind it. I was reminded of how much time I am missing being so far from my 7 year old niece. But my Father knew all the things I was feeling and He had a surprise.

I think sometimes He allows the gray feelings so that we can recognize the brightness of His Presence when it comes. That way He gets the glory. I settled into my “prayer chair.” I thanked Him for the day, for my health, my breath, and that of my family, friends. I needed something else. I started praying for whatever and whomever came to mind, going down the list. Then as so often happens when I need to hear from God, I opened His word and this is what I saw.
Isaiah 55:6-12
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
How did God know exactly what I needed to hear at that moment? What I got out of it was this. God is omnipresent, unchanging, omnipotent. Nothing is a surprise to Him. He knows exactly what I am feeling at any moment…..and here is the important part. He cares about His daughter enough to come down to my humble place of prayer, to quicken His Spirit within me, to completely obliterate the grayness, and totally change my outlook…..and He did, all in a matter of minutes! And if He hadn’t? He would still be God, still be in control. I would still love Him just as much because He is worthy!

I may read those same verses tomorrow and it won’t have the same effect at all, but today, He shone a light behind them just for me and maybe, hopefully, for someone else reading this as well. Those verses leapt off the page and into my heart, and blasted me with His brilliance and again I was caught off guard!

We really do serve an awesome God. Thank you Father, for surprising me once again with Your joy!

Home again….

One last walk around old familiar places…
Cannery Row, Monterey…..Setting of many John Steinbeck novels
A bookstore in Carmel, California one of my favorite towns, Clint Eastwood was once mayor here….bookstore regretfully not open.Highway 1, Big Sur, California….farewell to the ocean before turning inland…..
Home to the desert….

Home again after 2 books on CD and many miles and smiles later. Carrying sweet memories of family and friends. Places are magical but it’s the people traveling with us and the ones we meet when we are there that make the real memories!

Evening at the marina


God has blessed us with 3 days of unbelievable sunshine, being able to watch the sun come over the lip of the ridge across the bay each morning is like standing beside God’s giant prism. I took this shot with cell phone right before dinner last evening.

This morning the otters were frolicking in the surf….I will take these memories and clasp them in my heart and remember how good God is to make all this beauty for us to enjoy.

This guy was begging for food on the patio railing….just as I clicked he took flight!

“He wraps himself in light as with a garment; he stretches out the heavens like a tent, and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters. He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the wings of the wind.” Psalm 104:2,3

The Best Breakfast


Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. John 21:4-9

Day number three unbelievable luxury of being able to wake to the sound of the ocean. I dream of it when I am back home in Arizona. Having grown up in California being able to take a weekend trip to the coast is something I dearly miss….

I was thinking about this scene this morning as I gazed at the shore watching the sunrise. I imagine their joy when they realized at last that it was Jesus greeting them. I love the fact that once again it is Peter who jumps out of the boat to meet Him. Once again I am struck that Jesus is serving, cooking breakfast for them. I bet it was the best breakfast they ever had.