Why written words will never go away……

I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you.”

I, Tertius, who wrote down this letter, greet you in the Lord.”

Say to Archippus, “Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.” I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand. Remember my imprisonment. Grace be with you.”

Over and over again, Paul especially, stresses the importance of writing this “with his own hand.” At times others would take down the message, but when Paul wanted to emphasize something he said this. It was his way of saying, “Pay attention, I want to you to see how important this is to me.”

When we get something handwritten it’s almost like we get a piece of that person, almost as if they leave a bit of themselves behind with the ink on the page. When I want to keep someone close, I tuck something they’ve written in my wallet. Even now I have some folded notes and little drawings I have held onto for years. My wallet is fat, but not with folded money, with other kinds of treasures.

And today I was given a special journal, an unexpected gift to go along with us on our journey. Elaine said, “This had your name on it.” as she held it out, smiling. I will keep it and scribble notes in it and maybe someday years from now someone will find it and wonder whose it was.

Tomorrow, we will go on a long-expected road trip. We will drive for miles and miles. We will sing out loud with the radio across several states and we’ll stop where we want. It will be a grand adventure and I thank God for the opportunity. And in my purse, there are four people I hold dear who will come with me because right now I am holding them all close in prayer. I need part of them near me, with me on this journey.

Because what’s written on those pages I carry is part of them, and part of me too.

That’s why what’s written will never go away.

The Why Question

With God there are no coincidences, only divine direction and brushes with grace.

Saturday morning on the way to work was rough. My life doesn’t feel settled, the immediate future is murky and much of the time lately my life feels like a superhighway with an approaching an off-ramp and the need to choose one is pressing. I feel unsure of myself and circumstances feel like puzzle pieces thrown in the air, they could land any which way. Much of my prayer time lately is spent pushing all those puzzle pieces in God’s direction, hoping He will make the decision easy. Hoping He will get all the pieces to land just the right way.

I have come to understand that times such as these are divinely ordered, because it’s during these times in the dark that He directs our steps.

I have also learned that when we call on Him, He takes great pleasure in answering just when we need it most. I don’t always listen to Christian radio because sometimes I find the between song banter corny and irritating. But I also know that God has used it to speak to me in a powerful way, so I keep it programmed just in case.

The first song I heard when I turned on the radio was this one by Phil Wickham.

To the one who’s dreams are falling all apart
And all you’re left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you’re not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas?
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong He’ll never let you go
oh you’re not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
‘Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

And right after that was this one by the Afters:

When I’m feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are no where on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God, will you come close

You light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me that you are with me
And I, I, I can’t deny
No I can’t deny that you are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes
So I can see you all around me
You light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me that you are with me…….

He carried me through the day and gave me a blessed evening that night. And if that weren’t enough assurance, we were late to our Chandler church so we decided to go where I said I would never go again. I found yesterday that God can use a place even after I have shaken the dust off my feet…….He has a sense of humor like that.

I found I was blessed, even as I did the communion in a manner I am not crazy about, drinking the cup “shot glass style” placing the empty back in the tray as it passes from person to person. The Holy Spirit doesn’t care how it is done, but only that it is done in a manner that honors Him. Sometimes I have to relearn that lesson. And it shouldn’t have surprised me when they played the exact song that had so blessed me on Saturday morning……..but it did.

And as we sat and heard the exact message that Elaine needed to give a friend who asked the “Why” question. Well, I was no longer surprised. God directs our steps in ways we can’t imagine. She filled in every word and delivered it in person to her friend at work today.

As we sat and listened to the testimony of a couple who carried their precious baby to term, even though the Doctors said she would not live long. Even as they struggled with the recommended terrible choice to terminate the pregnancy. They didn’t. They had their angel 7 days before she went “home.” And they made the tough choice to be a conduit of God’s blessing to others, a way out of the dark to others who need hope.

My savior moves mountains and hearts.

And every day He surprises me, even though by now I shouldn’t be.

Between Earth and Heaven

Sometimes, there is a slice taken out of time that lets you see just a little view. Something bigger than the here and now. This afternoon it was a song that rent the sky and let a sliver of light down right in the midst of my day. I was absently thinking why I don’t cry much anymore. It’s not really for lack of things to cry about because everyone I know is going through hard things. I guess it’s because there remain so many things to be thankful for……joy is much more rewarding than the sadness that seems to spring out from every corner these days. There are times to cry, but then you get up and go on. So this afternoon when I heard the lines of the song, it was as if I was hearing an old familiar tune from long ago. Or something I knew all along but needed to be reminded of. Or how I imagine it will be when my folks pass on and I hear a song they loved. That’s what brought the tears. And it wasn’t a bad feeling, it was just the Holy Spirit reminding me He was and is still here. That’s when I heard the words from the song “Shoulders” by For King and Country”

My help comes from You You’re right here, pulling me through You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders Your shoulders My help comes from You You are my rest, my rescue I don’t have to see to believe that You’re lifting me up on Your shoulders Your shoulders……

Sometimes we just need to be reminded where our help comes from, even though we know it in our hearts and minds and everywhere in between. I felt such a burden right then for everyone I saw around me. As I wheeled my shopping cart down the aisles I saw people just living life picking out items, cereal, bananas, beer, anything and everything that makes their world go round. And as I smiled at the lady in front of me at checkout I noticed that she did smile but it was almost like it pained her. More like a grimace. I wondered what burdens she carried along with her to the store.

Enough ruminating. But the whole experience changed my afternoon and evening. It was touched with Merton, I guess you could say. He said this:

By reading the scriptures I am so renewed that all nature seems renewed around me and with me. The sky seems to be a pure, a cooler blue, the trees a deeper green. The whole world is charged with the glory of God and I feel fire and music under my feet.

Just when I had this all captured after I got home, I hit a key on WordPress and immediately my whole post disappeared. So I gave up and went outside to sit with the mourning doves out on the deck. One of them, we have been watching has made her nest on top of the block wall. We hope and pray they will be hatched before the infernal heat hits.

I sat as the gray clouds whirled around me and the mosquitoes came out. Tapping out my letters I heard the whirl of hummingbird wings and didn’t dare turn my head, but only my eyes. He went to each section, every side. I scarcely breathed sitting still as a stone. It was another slice of Heaven, a miracle unlooked-for.

A reward at the end of the day. That, is really what we have. Each and every day if we can only see it. And give thanks.

When confusion’s my companion And despair holds me for ransom I will feel no fear I know that You are near When I’m caught deep in the valley With chaos for my company I’ll find my comfort here ‘Cause I know that You are near

You mend what once was shattered And You turn my tears to laughter Your forgiveness is my fortress Oh Your mercy is relentless My help is from You Don’t have to see it to believe it My help is from you Don’t have to see it, ‘cause I know, ‘cause I know it’s true

“Shoulders”

for King and Country

Celebrating our Differences

Yesterday on Facebook I made a statement and it was something to the effect of, “I am so glad Jesus didn’t try to put us in boxes and say, this is how you need to look to fit into my group.” Instead, He invites us to come just as we are and trust Him enough to let Him reassemble us from the inside out. We, on the other hand, like to section people off. Especially in church. Single people here, Marrieds here, 50 plus over here. It makes us feel safer I think. Maybe it’s easier than trying to figure out where they belong.

But why do we insist on “pigeon-holing” people if Jesus didn’t? When we try to put people in categories we’re comfortable with it only serves to make them feel bad when they don’t fit into the box we try to force them into. Certain men don’t know one tool from another but are made to feel like they have to volunteer for the “Habitat for Humanity” project. Certain women are great architects and designers but are made to feel like their only usefulness is baking cookies or working with children.

Jesus however, accepted people at face value, He approached people of all ages and walks of life; all different talents and abilities. He was never put off by people’s differences, but rather met them where they were in every instance. The reason He was so effective was because when they looked into His eyes they immediately saw the depth of His compassion, His holiness, His goodness. And by contrast they saw their own sinfulness and inability to save themselves.

He gave them an immediate solution to their “sin problem.” He offered forgiveness, wholeness, reconciliation with a God they had fallen out of love with.

Last weekend I was playing my Brooklyn Tabernacle DVD…….it’s what I always reach for when I want to get a glimpse of what Heaven will be like. I see all those colors, all those ages, all those ethnicities, all those pasts. I see people, men and women in beautiful suits and dresses, all lifting their hands to the Lord because they remember what He brought them out of. Many have been homeless and addicted to drugs and alcohol. Some have been very successful in their careers and made a lot of money.

Some have the tattoos they got before they were saved, some have the tattoos they got after they were.

But the thing we all have in common is that each of us have a unique and beautiful redemption story.

It’s the life story that God records in each of our books. You know those baby books parents make when their kids are born? Well, God has one for you and me. He has kept record of our progress all through the years. And I think maybe He opens it and leafs through it because I know He makes the additions. And I think He smiles.

And when we get to Heaven, folks? I don’t think we will be prepared for what we are going to see. God is going to restore all things. That means every single animal that was part of His original design will be there. Colors we never even thought of and beauty this world has never seen.

And every time I watch the news and catch myself saying, “Even so come, Lord Jesus?” I breathe a prayer and say, not just yet. There are still people who haven’t heard. Still more souls that need saving.

New Every Morning

How many times in life have you said to yourself or someone else, “Man, I should have known better!” We make mistakes, we are human after all and not machines. Sometimes though, the world expects the precision of a machine. And the world is merciless…….it doesn’t care what the reason was but only that it doesn’t happen again. With the world, you may not get a second chance. But with God, each day, each moment it’s possible to get another chance. God is a God of do-overs. His mercies are new every morning. Listen to what His word says about Him:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him……Lamentations 3:22-24

My friends……this is the Good News. God will never hold a mistake over your head the way the world does. He doesn’t keep a rolling report of all the times you’ve messed up. With Him, you don’t have a rap sheet. All you have to do is come clean, admit your mistake, your sin, your failure. And not only will He purge it from your record, He actually forgets what you did. (Unless you have the habit of reminding Him over and over like I tend to do.)

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:8-12

I don’t know about you, but this is quite possibly the most hopeful verse in the entire Bible. I have heard it said by others that “they never make the same mistake twice.” I am not such a fast learner. Yesterday I made a mistake at work. It was one of those, “I should have known better” moments. When I got back from break there were three people huddled around my station. That is hardly ever a good thing. By the end of the day, I was almost shaking there was so much I had to do between 5:00 and 5:40, when the oncoming Shift came in. Add to that the damage control I had to do to ensure all the powers that be that “it would never happen again.”

Today, right now, this morning I am reveling in the fact that I have a merciful God.

And after all, He’s the only One I really need to worry about.

Going Through the Motions

Ever have one of those days where you know you have the hope, but it doesn’t quite make its way all the way to your heart in the form of joy? Well, I have had many. I can tell you from personal experience that some days all you can do is go through the motions of faith, knowing that in time, the joy will follow. I was puttering around yesterday, and in between puttering, I put the umbrella up and sat in the patio and read with a big tanker of iced-tea. I was consciously enjoying myself to a degree, but I didn’t feel the way I usually do. There was something just under the surface, lingering. Not really depression, it was more like a damper on my soul. I thought, won’t it be amazing someday, not to ever have days like this. Ever.

I have been reading about the new Heaven and the new Earth. That’s our future hope, but right now as we walk this unredeemed earth full of thorns and thistles and all forms of trials, we join in with nature in the waiting. We go through the motions knowing the joy will come because that is what a real and active faith looks like. It sees the possibility of the redemption in every given moment. Things can turn on a dime. God sees our heart. Sometimes we just have to push through and know that “going through the motions of faith” is not all bad because it teaches us something.

This morning I opened my devotions to these two wonderful sections of Scripture………

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:22

And……………

   I will extol the Lord at all times;
    his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the Lord;
    let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
    let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
    he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
    and he delivers them.

Psalm 34:1-7

Here is where I leave things today folks……..it’s all I have. But I think it’s enough.

What Matters Most

This week at work was a challenge. People had emergencies and had to leave midweek, and some were on vacations. All told, we were stretched thin. Another lady and myself toiled at our workstations for three 12 hour shifts with only a few short breaks. By the time I finished last night, my mind was still spinning like a top. I was so eager to get out I left my scarf behind which I never do.

I was so locked into myself at work I barely talked, barely joked. I felt more robot than human. But on the way home last night……There was sky, and cool breeze, and a hint of rain. I drove by restaurants and people were spilling out onto the sidewalks and patios, seated at tables with their drinks and food, casually talking, laughing. Being people.

One of the moments I was able to step out in the fresh air during the week, one of the things I thought about was that life is tragically unbalanced. We have slivers of time outside, in God’s beautiful creation and big chunks of time in artificial surroundings with artificial light and artificial air sucking the life out of us. And I think if we were honest, somehow we all sense we are under a curse. That things are not as they should be.

And the thing is? I can’t get the previous 36 hours back. But I can change how I do things. I can redeem the time I have left, however much of it there is. We say life is short, but do we believe it? Yesterday a card was circulated for a man we work with who lost his year old Grandson to drowning. Time………moments, years we always think we will have more of.

The older I get, the more I realize that there are only a couple of things we really need to learn before we leave this place, and none of the schools of higher learning can teach it. It’s that behind every beautiful mountain vista, every glorious sunset on the beach, every bend in the road, there have been the people standing next to me that matter even more. As I look back on all the most wonderful moments of my life, there was someone standing next to me with eyes alight, saying, “Will you look at that!” And if it happened that there was no one standing right next to me, I always knew God was.

Even in tragedy and deepest sadness there were moments of hope against hope, laughter that leaked through. Right after I lost my husband and we were all gathered together at my brother’s house doling out Xanax so we could sleep. Someone said they had more than someone else and we all had a giggling fit through our tears.

Of all the lessons God wants us to get before we leave this place is that the people matter more than anything. And even before that, that God is a people too. and if we get Him wrong, nothing else matters. I guess another way to say it, since God is love is that if we get Love wrong, we get everything else wrong.

Ultimately, how we perceive Him will determine where we spend the rest of eternity in that place where the curse is lifted forever. And sorrow and sighing are only a distant memory.

Top of the Morning

I think the closest we get to Heaven is right before the sun comes up. Before everything starts to stir, before the mind goes into overdrive. The start to the day is Holy for me anyway. Maybe for you it’s different.

I love the padding around in the quiet, hearing the coffee maker as it sputters to life brewing promise. Even the pop of the cat food tin and four bright eyes looking up, the mad dash across my feet as I open the door, its always Sydney.

I know just a tiny bit of how God must have felt after Creation, because the calm order of everything is good. As of yet, no one and nothing comes pounding at the door of my heart or mind. If I had a porch I would be on it.

No decisions have to be made yet, this is coasting time. The lead bird calls the morning to order only one, it’s the Mockingbird at four, then a different bird takes the later shift at six.

My soul still feels the hope of newness to it. I may not know where I will be in 1 year or 3 or five, but the steadiness of right here right now makes me think I could go on right here indefinitely. Right here in the dark quiet of early morning, it’s possible to think so anyway.

I lay my heart open to God who knows everything in it but loves to hear me tell it anyway. As any good parent should. Here, before everything goes into motion.

The candle on the roll-around flickers as I whisper my worries and hopes and dreams into the air, against the background rumble of traffic going in fits and starts out on the road.

To the One who still and always has everything under control.

As light fills the sky, a little panic hits. I open my devotional and read these words…….”Do not fear, for I am with you. Hear me saying, “Peace be still, to your restless heart.” Tears sting and from nearby a dove calls, heart calms a little and…….

I gasp, “How, did you know?”

“Heaven is all around us……..”

My Dad has sent me many letters over the years and I treasure them all. He usually calls and tells me he sent one, sometimes he tells me everything that’s in the letter and says, “Well I guess I didn’t really have to send it did I?” But I am always glad he does, for I have something to hold onto after he’s gone. I was thinking yesterday, about how I would feel if I got one of these letters from Heaven after he passed on, how would any of us feel? It would be a priceless gift we wouldn’t let go of. If someone writes you words, they are writing out part of their heart. And that’s something never to take lightly.

This particular letter is one I wanted to share because I think the message in it is very valuable and something we all need to remember.

Dear Lori:

I woke up early this morning and sat by myself and was led to write this:

I was reading April 14th, “Jesus Calling” and it spoke of Heaven and I realized how close I am to entering that place of peace. It spoke of Heaven being all around us, even today. Even as we live our lives here and now–what a shame that our peace is disrupted by the dirt and anxiety that engulfs us and stains the picture of Heaven all around us.

Life seems like painting a beautiful picture (which I have done) but making a mistake and destroying the picture and starting all over–life is like that. We start all over every morning but before long we destroy the picture with a terrible memory or a situation in our daily lives that we can’t control–Jesus watches us paint the picture as he looks over our shoulder and it hurts Him when we destroy it.

When I get to Heaven, I hope I don’t look back and see all the times I destroyed the picture and wasted the beauty of Heaven that I had the opportunity to see all around me, everyday.

Dad

When my Dad says he painted a picture, he really did. He did some beautiful watercolor paintings and I remember my Mom would always say that one day she would walk into the room and see what she thought was a great painting and the next day she would see a big, black “X” over it. His critical eye would have found some fault in it. He felt it was less than his best.

And isn’t that how we all are? God gives us a new day, something full of promise and we junk it up with things He never intended, like worry, regret, fear of failure. Or we create something that God is smiling over and we destroy it because all we can see is the mistake.

Today, don’t settle for the black “X”………. make God smile and put a big gold star on this day, better yet on yourself!

For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago. Ephesians 2:10 “The Voice”

“No perfect people allowed.”

I took a sabbatical from church. I really hadn’t intended to, it just worked out that way. I had a church I loved and then the Pastor retired, after that everything seemed to fall apart. It was like a corporate take-over. One service after we got out I asked Elaine, “Did we just go to church?” It felt like speed church, kind of like speed dating. Fifteen minutes and you’re out the door. The new Pastor was perfect, and so was his wife. I remember she had some fabulously expensive red pumps. Their kids looked perfect too. And the services were scripted and programmed, no room for error. No room for the Holy Spirit either.

There was no prayer, no invitation at the end, I felt like God’s Spirit had checked out.

Then we went to another “Mega-church.” It was a pretty large congregation but we liked what we heard from the pulpit and the Pastor was a really humble regular guy. We were just on the brink of joining and the same thing happened all over again. The Church lost its lease and the building was sold. The Pastor was given a back-seat, and it was another corporate take-over. Signs were changed out front and the whole church was restructured and made over (there was nothing wrong with it the way it was). The first thing I noticed when I walked in were the flat-screens playing a football game. I was disgusted.

After that, we stayed home on Sundays. Sometimes, we went hiking and had church on the mountain. It was really kind of liberating in a way. After about a year though, we knew we had to start another search. Something wasn’t right. Church has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. It set the tone for the week. But I still wasn’t ready to go just for the sake of going.

Each day on the way to work I pass this particular church. The sign out front is the first thing I noticed about it. It said, “No perfect people allowed.” I told Elaine, “I think I could probably go there.” We tried it and we liked what we heard, the message was straight out of the Bible, and it was quite possibly the best sermon on “prejudice” I have ever heard. It was a breath of fresh air. There was also a cool-looking woman in funky dress on stage playing an electric violin which I loved.

When the Pastor and his wife served us communion they spoke words of love over us and looked us in the eye. And at the end of the service there were prayer warriors in front at for anyone who needed it. There was what I had missed. The spoken Word and the Resurrection power of a changed life, and the hopeful probability that you would walk out differently than when you walked in. That’s church.

That’s home.

And it’s good to be back.

Lori's Prayer Closet

"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6

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