Jesus

The Weary World Rejoices

 

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“The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn…..” O Holy Night (circa 1847)

Maybe this morning you are reaching for the hope of that “new and glorious morn” the song speaks about. Maybe for you it is nothing but a song lyric, or a hope so distant you can barely see it through the weight of your present circumstances. The world Jesus came into was certainly weary, no different than today. I see just how weary as I pass the homeless each day, making camps wherever they can out in the cold. I even see it in the eyes of shoppers who get to go back to their warm houses after the mall. I see it in the gratefulness of the elderly whom I deliver meals to each day.

I slogged and shivered my way down to the river this morning juggling cups and a spare tank of propane for the heater. I settled in my chair and my breath puffed out warm into the cold air and I promptly spilled hot coffee all over my robe. I barely felt it. My morning prayer routine here is a bit different. Used to be, I took about 5 steps out the front door into my little shop. Here it’s a little walk and I bump into several things getting ready in the motorhome before I head out the door. The neighbor cat greets me at the end of the step. We have started feeding she and her brother since he is seldom home.

Walking along, I was pondering several things. There are many things I don’t know the answer to. I don’t know why I thought I would feel perfectly settled here, since I don’t feel any more settled here than I did in Arizona. I thought I would be able to make things better for my folks, but it turns out I can’t fix the fact that they are growing older. I can’t make them young again and able to do all the things they did before.

I also don’t know why it is that I am smack dap in the middle of all this beauty and it doesn’t seem to penetrate my heart. Nature has always been somewhat of a cure for me, and the fact that it’s not the healing balm it usually is has me unsettled. But here’s the thing about God, Christmas, Advent and the hope that it brings. I don’t need to know all the answers. I really don’t need to know any answers except Christ and Him crucified.

And when I came to you, brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God. 1 Corinthians 2

So, turns out I can’t fix broken situations or people, or even myself, but I can hope and trust in the One who can. This is what real faith is. It means that someday I will know the answers to these questions if God in His own good time reveals them to me. And if He doesn’t, that’s okay too. I hope in the One who does know all the answers. Who wasn’t afraid to come down in the weakest form imaginable, and start out knowing nothing. That’s enough for me.

We all have our seasons, the important thing is to keep walking through them with our eyes and our hearts lifted up toward Heaven. Peace be with you all.  I will leave you with another bit of comfort I read down by the river today:

“When the Time Is Right: December 7

There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering. We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources. Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse. It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say “I don’t know,” and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none. While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim. Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever. Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.” Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go.

Going Deep

 

Let your light so shine....

Usually that refers to a football move, but each Advent that rolls around I think of it. When everything starts to turn crazy and drivers honk and jockey for parking spaces and people turn ungracious my thought is to “go deeper.” Jesus was born into a world filled with pushing and shoving and strife. He was also born into a world with a deep chasm between the ruling Superpowers in Rome and the common people just trying to get by.

Yesterday morning I sat huddled with my first cup of coffee, and gazed blearily at my phone for a connection, a signal of life out there. The little candle flickered from where it sat on the Motor-home console (we call it the fireplace).

Lately I have been feeling like part of my creative soul has been snuffed out. The words that used to flow freely have fled and I have missed them. Earlier I had fallen asleep and dreamed of buried things. I awoke feeling smothered.

As I rested there in the pre-dawn hour, I heard a ping from my phone and saw a friends post and as I read the words, tears came along with them. You can read it here.

Do you ever feel as if God answers prayer through someone else’s words? I felt as if someone had just leaned toward me in church, holding out their advent candle to light mine.

I wasn’t happy about the sorrow in his message, but I did identify with it. No, it was the hope he held out. The light that came along with it. His words reached across several states and touched a chord in me. “He feels it too.” And just at the precise moment I needed to hear it. Jesus said that only an adulterous generation needs a sign, but He also knew a sign was necessary. “Behold, a virgin will conceive…….”

This to me is the hope of Advent. That somewhere in the cloisters of our hearts there is the reality of deep peace. That is the reason Jesus came. Reconciliation and the promise of peace. The Holy Spirit resides in each of us as believers, but I believe it is possible to stifle Him with the residual refuse in our minds and hearts.

Advent is cutting through all that and clinging to the miracle. Throw the trash out! Lay it at the curb, better yet the cross! God is doing a work in each one of us. He has taught me this year that prayer is not the prescription that insures circumstances in my day will all fall together perfectly. In fact, sometimes the days where I have prayed most earnestly I have had the worst days on record.

The more important thing is that prayer has a bigger effect on the long term. It goes beyond the surface where we can’t always see, digging trenches in our hearts that change us for eternity. God doesn’t wait around to answer our prayer so that events conspire to work out for our benefit, but rather, He hears our every prayer even before we pray it. Even the ones as small as a breath.

When Jesus came, He was the universal “I understand and hear you” answer for all time, for all of us. He came almost unnoticed into this world yet Heaven couldn’t keep from a birth accouncement puncuated by miracles. This Christmas I pray we can set aside the stress and clamor of the world in the quiet moments and remember the miracle.

Let every heart prepare Him room, for He made room for us.

“And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” Acts 17:26,27

The Halls of Heaven

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God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging……Psalm 46:1-3

Sometimes Jesus sneaks a quiet thought in when you aren’t expecting it. He does that a lot. I always know when they come from Him because they just make so much sense, and most of the time, I don’t have that much. This is the kernel of wisdom He gave me:

I never asked you to do or be everything, I only asked you to follow me.

I have been racing around, trying to learn a new job and run over and do things for my folks which is part of why I came. There hasn’t been much quiet time, but as my other wise friend said, “You have to make the quiet time, it doesn’t come and find you.”

This world has really turned up the noise lately. I am so done with politics. Really, it means so very little. In ten or so years (or maybe one month) we will have forgotten why we got so upset about it all. There are a few things that come with a guarantee in this life. One of them is that as I grow older the halls of Heaven are getting more crowded. This world in my circle is shrinking as it will continue to do until such time as I join them.

A death of a friend will bring that home quicker than anything. We lost a dear friend shortly after we moved here. We passed their house on the way out of town and it haunts us both that we didn’t stop. I first met Ruby when I ran out of Mary Kay, back when we lived in Payson. I called the number because I ran out of Mauve Elegance lipstick. She and her husband Ron lived in a big house at the top of the hill. When she answered the door what struck me were her green eyes and striking smile. Her last name was Green. As was the carpet in their beautiful home.

She became like a surrogate Mom to us both. We were invited to home cooked meals and always laughter, always laughter. She was one of those people who could be working out in the yard without a stitch of makeup, sweat rolling down her face and then disappear in the bathroom for an hour and come out looking like Fifth Avenue. And she loved the Lord. Years would pass sometimes between the time we would see them again, but it never mattered. It was always like old times when we met again.

I miss you Ruby. Our loss is indeed Heaven’s gain.

This world can stomp us into the ground if we let it. Sometimes I just want to shrink myself down until I all but disappear. But the problem with that is, you disappear for those who need you. Who are counting on you. It’s all about balance. Jesus had to retreat to quiet places time and time again.

And so do we. And what a place I have now to do just that. We all have a challenge to keep that spark from blowing out. Each day we have a choice to fan that little spark. I think of when Ruby and I used to sit at the piano, “C’mon and let’s sing!”she used to say. She loved that song, “Pass it on.” She loved the lyrics, “It only takes a spark to get a fire going, and soon all those around will warm up to its glowing…..”

This world is increasingly not my home. The time we have down here is precious. No doubt about it, this world is enough to make us rock back on our heels with our hands in our faces, but it can also make our hearts split in two with the joy of it.

Today I opened my devotional with Numbers……..‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

I got a flashback because that’s the verse my Mom used to pray over my niece, Lauryn before she left for school back when she reached down to put her loving hands on her head. Now she would have to reach up……they don’t take her to school anymore, but the prayer is always there, will always be there.

Both down here, and ringing in the Halls of Heaven.

The Lord bless us all. We sure do need it right now.

The Still Small Voice

 

14142061_10206911059236978_5951114380666405910_nIs anxiety threatening to run over you like a steam roller today?  Don’t claim it. I prayed this morning for Jesus to take “my anxiety” but then I realized that I was using the wrong words. It’s not “my anxiety.” Anxiety doesn’t belong to you or me. That is not to say we don’t feel it, some of us more than others. The truth is, there are many things in the world today that cause us our stomachs to churn. Just turning on the news does it for me. Some days it seems all we can do to keep tamping it down. I used to feel it as soon as I got on the freeway in the mornings, the hum.

Going, doing, being. It sometimes gets overwhelming. But the still small voice of Jesus reminded me today that He never asked me to do or be everything. He only asked me to follow Him.

One step at a time.

When I think of all the events that have transpired just the past 5 months along, I am staggered by the fact that He brought us through it all.

Retirement. Big Anxiety.

A move to another State. More anxiety.

Getting my Mom through two surgeries and recovery.

Dealing with terrible movers.

The loss of my fur baby before we moved.

And then it seemed like everything was too much and all my words stopped flowing. Who can figure it out? When I lived in the desert, the words seemed to flow effortlessly, then I move on the banks of a beautiful river and my words seemed to flow out along with the tide. But sometimes it’s okay to be still.

And that is what I have done.

I am not the same girl who left this town many years ago. I have done tremendous things with God’s help. And in many ways I am the same, but I have also grown.

No, it’s not my anxiety. And it’s not yours either.

I am taking a step with Jesus today. Together we will walk on water. This is where I am meant to be.

 

Lent Day #42: Inflammatory words

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Jesus has left the desert and started His earthly ministry. He started with His hometown. People were confused, they said, “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son?” They thought they knew this “hometown” boy whom they saw tag along with his father to the job site. But now, this man was a mystery. He entered the Temple and opened the scroll from Isaiah and began to read about Himself:

And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up; and as was His custom, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath, and stood up to read. And the book of the prophet Isaiah was handed to Him. And He opened the book and found the place where it was written, “THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME, BECAUSE HE ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR. HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM RELEASE TO THE CAPTIVES, AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND, TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED,…”

At first they marveled at the authority with which He read the words, as if the very words became real in the air around them, they heard it as they had never heard it before. In fact, they were all in awe. The Bible says their eyes were “fastened on Him.”

But when He uttered the next few words, it all went sour.

“The Scripture you’ve just heard has been fulfilled this very day!”

Immediately things started to unravel. The crowd was so incensed they rushed him to a nearby cliff and attempted to bodily throw him over. From then on He began to focus His ministry elsewhere.

In addition to the lost sheep of Israel, he focused on the lost and lonely, the sick and the dying, the disenchanted and discouraged, the sinner and the outcast, the women and children. He never turned away anyone with an open heart. He was constantly being misunderstood and questioned by those who should have known better.

You might think this idea of “Redemption” is a one time experience, but how many times since He has redeemed your life have you felt so battered and worn down that you needed it all over again? Every day? Every minute? I have found that the greatest hope that Jesus continues to bring is the power of fresh redemption for each new day.

Take today……..let Him have it. Cup it in your hands like a snow white dove, say a prayer over it and throw it up towards Heaven. Send it to flight and watch it head towards the Son as your heart soars free.

Then do it all over again tomorrow! Watch what happens.

A future of hope from Isaiah

The Wildness of God

A voice of one calling:
“In the wilderness prepare
the way for the Lord;
make straight in the desert
a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
and all people will see it together.
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

God Wants You

You who bring good news to Zion,
go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good news to Jerusalem,
lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
say to the towns of Judah,
“Here is your God!”
See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power,
and he rules with a mighty arm.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.

The One True Light...

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

The little lambs that were lost to us this week, are safe in the Good Shepherd’s arms today…….that is how I derive some measure of peace about what happened….please join me in ongoing prayer for the families, especially the parents.

Lori

Photos from google images

Trying to make sense of it all

God is in control......

Today, we are all shell-shocked and  scrambling for answers. We are desperately looking for someone or something to blame, some solution. We think there has to be a way to define, identify, fix the problem, because that is the only way we can find some peace in something this horrific.

I don’t even want to watch the news at this point. To be honest I don’t want to know about the shooter and what traumatic events of his childhood might have led up to him doing this. I don’t care about his disease or his personality profile. I have heard it all before.

All I can think about are the children that are gone and the parents who are facing the deepest grief they will ever know upon waking up this morning. I paused before I went into work today, to pray for the families. But what to pray? All I got out was….”Oh God, the parents, the parents, the parents…..”

In the wake of this tragedy, the debate over gun control will ignite once again. And good people on both sides of this issue have their facts, their statistics, their arguments. And both sides feel they are one as right as the other.

You can take guns away from law-abiding citizens, but the criminals will still get guns. Illegal gun and drug trade is out of control and the doors to our borders are standing open. Some of our cities, such as Stockton, California…..right next to my hometown,  are bankrupt due to gross mishandling of funds and greed at the top. I just read this report today:

Bankrupt Stockton, Calif., faces a “mass exodus” of police officers in the midst of a crime wave if it is forced by creditors to slash pension benefits for current and retired employees, its city manager said in a letter to Gov. Jerry Brown. Source: Huffington Post

In some cities, there are barely enough police to actually fight real crime, let alone provide schools with the extra security they need.

The truth is, we can pass all the laws we want to, but there is one thing we will never be able to do and that is legislate morality. There is only one solution to the heart problem we all have and it is found in the person of Jesus Christ. He is the final answer for this world today.

That’s why the Manger means more than ever right now.

And God is watching this world. Nothing escapes His notice. While people have free will, they will use it to exercise all kinds of atrocities and evil against other people. And free will is one thing God will never take away from us.

But until we choose Him, our hearts will remain broken beyond repair.

One day He will put a stop to all this craziness, for He is a just and Holy God, but until such time as He does, he has given us a job, a high calling, a command:

Love one another as I have loved you.

The solution to all our heart problems can be found by looking back to the manger, forward to the cross, and beyond to that future time when…..

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

Two to a car

 
 
 
But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. Psalm 3:3,4
 
This morning I went out to pray like a monk, I was glad there was a hood on my sweatshirt, because all of a sudden it has turned cold…..cold for here anyway. As I lit my “prayer lantern” I sank into my chair and bowed my head. There are so many things I am thankful for, why do I feel such despair at times? I have a good job and people who love me. I am doing some writing and there are actually people who get something out of what I write. I am constantly surprised by joy over that.
 
But there is another thing I have been fighting, and it’s a big one. I hesitate to even write about it because I don’t think I can put it into words. And yet I must because writing is my way out….my way up.
 
I’ve been fighting this thing. It’s called “The Change.” There is a reason they call it that. I wondered and wondered why I have felt this way and it suddenly hit me.
 
I am grieving. Grieving who I was before.
 
Who has taken my old happy life and what have they done with it?
 
As it hit me, tears gushed. And part of it was the relief of knowing. The other part is the not knowing. I don’t know what waits on the other side of this tunnel. Every now and again normalcy touches down and I breathe a sigh of relief.
 
My faith holds me now. I howl like a wounded animal on the inside because I don’t want anyone to hear.
 
I walk down the Christmas aisles at the store and I want to cry. Pumpkin pie filling makes me cry. People being kind to me makes me cry.
 
I drive on the freeway and I feel the white heat of anger lashing out. I call unsuspecting people all kinds of names they don’t deserve. They are just trying to get home, after all.
 
I am losing what I fought so hard to get back when I starved myself.  The part of me that was always a reminder of health…..possibility….promise….life.
 
How do you let go of something you have had all your life? And who will I be on the other side of this…..will it make me less than I am right now?
 
How do you go about going through a change that will usher in the last phase of your life, especially when you still wear Miss Me jeans and buy your clothes in the junior section?
 
I got up and wiped my nose on my sleeve. And God gave me something, just a little vision of hope. I was sitting on the little train I used to ride at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk. It was two to a car….And in the seat beside me: Jesus rode.
 
And He promised he would be with me all the way through. And I know He will, He’s a man of His word. Yes, there is much comfort in two to a car.
 
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Jesus wins by a landslide

 
To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.
 
 “Look, he is coming with the clouds,”
    and “every eye will see him,
even those who pierced him”;
    and all peoples on earth “will mourn because of him.”
So shall it be! Amen.
“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”



There are so many more important things going on right now than this election. Yes, I will vote today, and yes, I believe it matters how we vote, but ultimately what matters is who is ruling and reigning on the throne of my heart today.

Unless He is? None of this really matters. And I am thankful today. So thankful that I know who will write the end of this story. All over the world, people are doing great and courageous things. Pastors in Haiti are caring for orphans. Sleeping with them outside on the ground.

People are fighting for our freedoms  and putting their own lives on the line, thinking nothing of it.

Our troops.

God has a plan for this world. He died, He rose again, He is coming back. No matter who is in office in the White House, or any other house. So today I will vote, because I still think it is important to exercise our wonderful freedoms. And then I will watch the results and I won’t be disheartened if my choice doesn’t win.

Because I know who untimately does.

The God of all Comfort

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

How big is your God? I know my God is big……He is big enough to heal the deepest sorrow, and repair the most broken of hearts. I know because He’s done it for me.

And even though He’s big? He can make Himself show up in something as simple as a ray of light on the walkway because just now I asked Him to meet me there and He did, I felt Him there. I also prayed that He would meet you in my words.

 And how many have prayed for just that, and have not felt that assurance? He rains His Grace down at unexpected moments. You may not always feel Him, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t there.

He always has to make room for faith to kick in. And faith is always rewarded my friends, that’s a promise.

And the days when you know that prayer is the only thing holding you together? He knows that feeling too. He knows how it feels to not even want to be around a single solitary soul. Honestly, I think there were times He wanted to tell everyone to just go away. Those are the times He went off alone to pray.

He also knows that sometimes the best thing you can do for a friend is just hold them while they cry. Job’s friends did that at first and then they blew it by starting to talk. There’s a time for talking, and a time for just being there.

And no matter what you might be feeling now, you can still have hope. God has an inexhaustible supply.

You can still have hope if you know God.  He is the God of all comfort. He knows how. When our words run dry and crackle in the air and fall flat…..The Holy Spirit speaks in groans deeper than any words straight to the Father.

I believe He is even better at translating the prayers that never make their way into words.

He’s near. Nearer than your own breath.