Friendship

Till we meet again

Since I am at work on a computer all day Saturday, I manage to get some free time to go visiting. In Blogland that is. Don’t worry, I am not doing anything unethical…….In our 12 hour shift, we get two free hours to spend however we want. It is one benefit to working when much of the world is off doing fun things like going to Costco and yard sales and picnics in the park.

Growing up, Saturday was a day for visiting. That’s what my Mom and I did together. Oftentimes we would visit Mom’s friend Rosie. Rosie was a tiny spark of a woman, from a big Sicilian family. Rosie liked flowers and decorating, refinishing her own furniture, and all things feminine. It wasn’t easy in a house with a husband and four boys.

Going there was like visiting little Italy in a war zone. I never knew anyone who could be all sweetness and soft voice one minute, and screaming at the top of her lungs at one of her four boys the next. She turned on a dime. She had to with all those boys in the house. They were always doing something to get on her last nerve. But she loved them with all her heart, and they all loved her.

One morning when we stopped by she was making Bisquick pancakes. She had to send Steven to the store twice. Once for milk and once for something else. She made the first one and promptly threw it in the trash.When my Mom asked her why, she said, “Oh, none of them will eat the first one because of the oil.” When she had run out of syrup, another son straggled in, miffed that he had missed breakfast. She proceeded to make him waffles, telling my Mom that they didn’t use syrup with waffles.

She loved working with figures and hated paying taxes. She did our taxes for years, as well as her brothers and sisters and all their families. She knew the state of California’s tax laws backwards and forwards. She would sit at her kitchen table and throw down Italian curses on the Government.

It got really interesting when her brothers and sisters were visiting. None of them agreed on politics and they regularly got into screaming matches over it. Then they would hug and kiss when they got ready to leave like nothing happened. Visiting Rosie’s house was better than a movie for me, being raised in a quiet family. My Dad was raised in angry shouts, so we simply didn’t shout.

Rosie was the queen of improvisation. They had a family dog who I think was equal parts German shepard and coyote. One day we were there when she had run out of dog food and hadn’t been to the store yet. We watched incredulously as she poured ketchup over a bowl filled with chicken bones and leftover stew. Snoopy lapped it up like it was high quality pate. Anyone else would have worried about the bones, not Rosie.

Many times she invited all the pop warner parents and kids out to her house when they lived in the country and she never had all the ingredients for anything. One time she had a huge salad and nothing to put on it but an industrial size can of olive oil.

She was one of the most unique individuals with one of the best hearts, and I miss her.

Rosie never gave much thought to religion or God. She believed in the goodness of humanity. Her youngest son Steven became a born-again Christian. He and His Mom had many talks after that, and he never stopped praying for her. When he got married, his wife prayed too. At one point between all those conversations and the time she died of cancer, Rosie met the Lord.
 
She has been gone for years now and sometimes I still can’t believe it. It’s funny…..I didn’t set out to do a post about Rosie, but I am glad it turned out that way. Our words and stories about people is what keep them alive in our hearts. Many times I have said a prayer of thanks to God that I will see her again.
 
I called my Mom this morning to see if she remembered about the pancakes, and she couldn’t believe it. On the way home just about two hours ago she had passed some kids in football uniforms and thought about all those dinners at Rosie’s house. She said she hadn’t thought about her in some time.
 
One life, twice remembered in one day.

Till we meet again Rosie!

Book of Kindness

It’s time for counting kindness……

An interesting thing happened when I started to count the gifts of gratitude one by one……that counting the good things became even more a part of who I am.
They slipped in quietly, but they surprised me by their insistence, even when I was worried, or stressed, or angry, or scared…..they came alongside and made their presence known, and didn’t back down.
And now I find myself wanting to count other things. That is what started my book of kindnesses…..
It is for keeping track of the things my friends and family have done for me or others……all those little things it’s so easy to lose track of. It’s so important to know that there is still much kindness left in the world.
My Mom in her childhood watches…..I think she likes the idea

And hopefully, this counting will inspire me to practice kindness on myself and others, because I know there is much room for me to grow. These I don’t count, for God Himself keeps track of each one done

In Jesus name…….“And (A)whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these [a]little ones even a cup of cold water to drink, truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42
First entry: Diane (who bought me this little book) goes with my Mom to the Doctor during a scary checkup
Second entry: Just about every time Elaine makes an ice-cream cone for our household, she makes three extra and takes them next door to Bob, Eileen and Estelle
Third entry: Bob and Eileen take Elaine to get her car from the shop
I often like to imagine all the many things that Jesus must have done that we have never heard about…..
“And there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Amen.” John 21:25
I have a feeling they ended up in the Father’s own book of kindness

A Few Highlights…..

I headed to the attic alcove and hung my hat……..
My very own lookout….in the morning I opened the windows and woke up with the Stellar’s Jays racket high up in the trees…..heavenly.
This wonderful cabin had windows that opened in…..I was like a little kid when I saw them!
Our home for two wonderful days…….
Lunch at one of my favorite places with three of my favorite people Diane and Elaine……(My Mom not pictured)
 Meeting the new family member, Abby
I got to spend some quality “Aunty” time with our girl, Lauryn
Lauryn and my brother, Ron who bought us this wonderful cabin for the weekend!
Yes, it is…….
Now we are home, bringing back summer colds but thankfully, great memories to go along with them! These memories we made are such gifts from God and I am truly thankful for every moment……

Blogging across the fence

I like to think of blogging as meeting for coffee, or over the back fence. People used to do that, and in some places they still do. Recently my Mom was over at my Aunt’s house and she saw a gathering of people in the front yard playing dominoes. Yes, in the front….almost scandalous nowadays. They were laughing and carrying on and having a great old time. It was a good thing to see. Of course my Mom, never having met a stranger, had to go talk to them.

They exchanged information…..greeting…..fellowship. A bit of bringing Heaven down to earth. All because they made themselves available. Open.

I have lived before in neighborhoods where every evening a symphony of garage doors would open with big yawns and swallow up the cars and the people in them and that was the last you saw of your neighbor. One time my Mom was visiting and she got so starved for people she flagged someone down who was driving by just for someone to talk to.

In these days of mobility and technology we often lose that sense of community. It gets to be a challenge to get back in touch with it. That’s why I like blogging. I feel like we are virtual neighbors meeting over the back fence. A little solitude is a very good thing, but too much is not good, we tend to make ourselves crazy.
God knew that too.

Sharing beliefs, joys and sorrows, snippets of our lives makes us feel like we are not alone. We join hands across the aisles, finding common ground in all sorts of things. We see how we are the same and how we are different.

And how wonderful to be able to pray for someone I have never actually met!

So pull up a chair, gather around, pour yourself a cup.

You don’t even have to call before you come by.

“…….and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24, 25 

I really like you!

“God promised to make you free. He never promised to make you independent.” — Madeleine L’Engle (The Irrational Season)

I went downstairs to the cafe today at work. There were people everywhere, people I had never seen before. I thought,“Who are all these people and where do they come from, and what is their story?” Then I thought……”Why do I feel so disconnected to them all?”

I guess because I don’t know their stories…..You sit by a stranger and they start telling you things about themselves and they are no longer strangers, they are potential friends. Especially if they are going through some of the same things you are. There is a kinship, instantly. You figure out how you are the same and how you are different…..what you have in common and what you don’t.

There is a solid connection where there was only possibility before.

I guess that’s why I love this blogging thing. I feel connected to all of you, like I do know you….well, at least I feel like I do. And I like you! We have never met face to face, but I count you all as friends. That’s what Jesus said, “I have called you friends.” I try to stop in at least every other day or so, to see what’s going on in your neck of the woods. Sometimes I comment, and sometimes I say a prayer as I’m reading your posts. Always, I am amazed by the wisdom and creativity I find there.

I want you to know I consider you my brothers and sisters, and I am glad you are out there. I’m glad God led me to your blogs, and to you. 

And someday, in this place or that other place we look to call home someday, we will meet, I am sure of it.

I really look forward to that day because……

I really do like you all!

“I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers, hearing of your love and faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints, that the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.” Philemon 1:4-6

Yours truly, trying to stay out of the sun!

Angels at IKEA

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:1
It was just another task on the long list of things to be done. Going to get a TV stand to put on the gargantuan TV that came out of the Mother’s house. So many tasks had preceded this one, that all days, for many days, had spilled over into one another. One day bleeds into the next in a seemingly never ending tasklist. It is a military type existence……Up on your feet, lace up your boots, be physically and mentally ready for whatever comes next.
She was running on empty, fumes of exhaustion left over from somewhere in time, when it all started. Through it all, she has kept her sense of humor and momentary lost her sanity. I have been helping out, holding her up…..praying her through it.
She was standing in the aisle of IKEA. Ready once again for a nervous breakdown because the tag on the TV stand didn’t match the one on the display rack. Do you know how big IKEA is when you are exhausted? All the way back upstairs to the display, making sure she had the right tag….”Yep, there it is.” All the way back down to the checkout. Again, error on the scan. Earlier she had led her Mom to a seat and told her to stay there until she came back.
Insert mental image here of elderly woman with Alzheimer’s who walks extremely slow and gets turned around……a lot, in two floor big box IKEA. Another mental image of exhausted, stricken daughter with very large box that won’t scan…..teetering on the edge.
Later she said, “I must have looked pretty bad, like I needed help……” She was standing glassy-eyed in the aisle staring again at the display, contemplating another long walk downstairs, when just then a kind angel appeared at her shoulder, “Can I help you, are you finding what you need?” What welcome words, they might as well have been coming straight from Heaven itself. He knew his job, he saw the mistake right away. He fixed the mess.
Ever had someone come and clean up the mess at a time when it seems all you have been doing lately is cleaning up messes? You never forget it.
All the while, she is hoping and praying her Mom stayed where she put her. She usually doesn’t wander…..yet.
Then, another “angel” came when she wheeled the heavy box out into the parking lot. It was like he appeared from nowhere, she tells me later. She asks me if I sent him. She says, “I know you were praying. “
I said, “Yes, of course  I was.”

Photo courtesy of http://thehalfwaypoint.net/2009/09/50-simple-ways-to-pay-it-forward/

Twenty five years down the road……..

Facebook find #1

I met her at Jazzercise and we formed an instant connection. We loved working out, buying all the latest workout togs at the local dance store. We watched movies together and she and her husband attended church….the same church I went to. They had their problems, like any couple. They had an adorable little baby boy and moved into a nice home. It seemed they had a charmed life. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and we had a great time selecting dresses and doing all the fun stuff that goes along with it.
After my husband passed away unexpectedly, we parted ways a bit. Maybe she didn’t know what to say to me and  maybe I should have tried harder to approach her. Maybe my tragedy made her uncomfortable. I still saw her at Jazzercise, where she brought her new little girl, Jordan. She had golden ringlets and huge blue eyes. A perfect child for a perfect couple, in a perfect life. Things were no longer the same between us.
I found her again on Facebook just yesterday. I didn’t “friend” her, I think some friendships are best left in the past. She is divorced and both she and her husband are remarried from what I could see. Her little girl is no longer innocent. Her profile page was loaded with a few shall I say, very colorful expressions. Nothing about God. Nothing about church. But she is beautiful, and my old friend still looks great too. But it saddened me. I know that with divorce comes sadness, pain. And we were close once.
A second Facebook find…….
Her Dad did my husband’s memorial service. He was a wonderful and kind man, with a great sense of humor. I attended the church where he was a Pastor shortly before moving from California. I will never forget how often he used to stop by my folks house to see me after Jody died. He was softspoken and often emotional, a very sensitive man. He was not the best preacher but nobody cared, the love he and his wife had for the Lord shone through in their love for others. They had two daughters, and later, twin sons. Shortly before I moved, the daughter got married to a great guy, a youth Pastor. She borrowed my wedding veil which I was overjoyed to let her use.
Flash forward to now…….She is still married to the same man all these years later, and they have two or three kids. On the FB news feed I saw that her husband, Rick just finished another missions trip to Africa, where I guess they have been several times. When I read of her life, I was happy for her parents, because I know they don’t have to worry about her life. She and her husband belong to the Lord. On her profile there was nothing you couldn’t show anyone, including her parents. Things like camping, coffeeshops, scrapbooking, and no swear words.
Two lives, two reactions. One of sadness, one of joy and hope.
I know what I got was at best an incomplete snapshot of what is really going on……but I think it told me a lot. Only time will tell how it plays out for any of us, but with God’s grace we do the best we can. We know who waits for us at the end of the road….
“Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” 1 Timothy 4:16

Bear one another’s burdens

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,  for each one should carry their own load.” Galatians 6:2-5
At first glance I was confused by these verses because they seem to contradict one another, first it says to carry each other’s burdens and then it turns around and says for each to carry their own load. But after some online study I found that it does not. The key is in the meaning of the words burden and load.
The word for burdens is baros, which means “heaviness, weight, burden, trouble” In verse six the word for load is phortion and means, “of burdensome rites.” While the first speaks of helping one another through troubles the second speaks of the responsibility each person has for their own troubles and sins.
Helping someone to carry a burden is a very good thing. But, actually taking the load on yourself is much different. It is like two people walking, one carrying a very heavy pack. They make it look easy so you say, “Here friend, let me take that awhile”…..WHOA! once you strap that pack on yourself you realize just how heavy it is. I got a picture of Frodo and Sam this morning while I was thinking about this. Sam was always supporting Frodo as he carried the weight of the ring, but there were times when Sam actually wore the ring himself, and immediately he felt the montrous weight of the burden Frodo carried.
What started this whole train of thought was yesterday. I felt just a tiny bit of the load that my very best friend carries dealing with a Mom with Alzheimer’s and a Dad with Dementia, that is, Dementia with quite a bit of meanness thrown in, I might add. I was on the way to get them groceries for them, as a favor to her. It’s the least I could do since she actually got to get away for a bit. I stopped at a red light. Just for a second, I felt just a bit of what she must feel all the time……….Tears sprang to my eyes. She has dealt with the loss of both of them this year, but still they hang on.

“God, there but for the grace of You go all of us……” 
I thought of how you have to put your own mind in a very strange state to deal with people who aren’t in their right mind. I am sure she wonders at times if she is losing her own sanity just trying to deal with them. She does amazingly well. She knows who her God is and that He is a very Big God. He can handle it when she cannot.
And behind it all, one thing stands out……
There was One who took our burden for all time. A very awful burden. One that only He could carry, and He did it willingly for us. He didn’t want us to have to. He knew that we couldn’t carry it, not even for one moment. I think, in light of that we are “more than conquerors in this life.”
When all the dross of this life is burned up, there will be one thing left.
Endless Gratitude.

pictures from google images……

Journeys……

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11,12

I heard trains last night…..I am presently in Barstow, California, the stopping point for this particular journey…..along with my very best friend at the wheel of what I call “the Bus” a 32 foot motor home. We are enroute, she to her brother and his family and myself to my parents house. We have made this trip many times, and there is always a new experience no matter how many times you have been down the same road.

We saw a semi-truck on its side yesterday, there were some high winds, but not terribly high. He may have fallen asleep and lost control….we whispered a prayer as we drove by. Our precious cargo includes “the garden.” We didn’t want to leave it home for the neighbors to watch, since my green-thumbed friend wants to take full responsibility. They are her babies now. Every sprout is encouraged, and exclaimed over. Now I know a little about how a farmer feels.

We passed the state-line without a hitch. I had forgotten all about the rules about bring plants over…..I can just imagine the headlines…..”Two Church going Christian women caught, accused of bringing marijuana over the border! I could hear us now trying to explain that it is our future garden, consisting only of Okra, marigolds, radishes and spinach, but no pot…..Oh my!

The little green charges are currently on the dash recieving their morning dose of sunlight. Soon she will be bent over them with a water dropper for their watering and “encouragement.”

We think our neighbor may be a Vietnam Vet, judging by the various bumper stickers which are plastered all over the back of his vehicle. He just walked by and looks like he may be related to Charles Manson’s brother….Never a dull moment. One of the bumper stickers says, “Breast inspection 20 miles ahead, please have them out.” Forgive me for that, but sometimes you have to be plunked right down in the middle of humanity like Jesus was. If we make it out of here without an incident we will be very happy. You never know what you might see in a KOA park.

What a blessing this trip….already. Everyone needs someone in their life that they can travel with so companionably. Nothing is a problem and everything is an adventure and a potential source of laughter……

This morning we read from the Bible and shared thoughts on Ephesians 6……we forge ahead today, each one of us reaching our destinations. In our hands, our hearts, we bring encouragement and blessings and love to our families who are all going through their own trials and hardships. And of course, they will do the same for us…..

Hopefully tomorrow I can post pictures of the “garden.”

Just an ordinary day…….

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13 NKJV

The really good stuff in life is made up of ordinary days, many of them over a long period of time, like a string of beautiful pearls…or maybe I will say opals, I have always loved the fire in them. Tragedies all start with ordinary days that begin like any other. You get up, and if you are like me you have coffee right away, soon after you hit the floor.

I remember I slept in on September 11, 2001…..I was awakened by a phone conversation I heard taking place in the next room, my roommate talking with my Mom. I heart snatches of, “Yes, I am watching it now….” and “No, she is not awake yet…..” I will never forget that day, the moment…..starting out like any other.

Another day many years ago started with irritability on my part, with my new husband…….I was critical, I was not kind. I remember being focused on what I wanted, not really thinking of him. It wasn’t terrible, there were no raised voices, but we did end up separating and doing different things that day. I should add that we came together marvelously later that afternoon….but that is not what I remember the day he died. I remember what happened earlier.

That taught me a lesson that I have kept close. Ordinary days are anything but ordinary. They are all a gift.

So today, over that cup of coffee, catch their eye and hold it for a moment longer…..tell them you love them so they really believe it. Grab their hand as they walk by. Swing them around for an impromptu dance in the kitchen. As my best friend is fond of saying….”sometimes you just gotta give it a little dance….”

Laugh for no reason……..Make the call if you are far away. Lori

photo credit: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/ vojko kalan