Family

From Religion to Relationship

‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20

Christianity was never about religion but relationship. Even before Christ came to earth we had God reaching down to Abraham and Sarah, before that we had God creating Adam and Eve and placing them in the garden. It is always God who makes the first move.

There is a point where we stop trying to spin all the plates and live up to what we know we never can, apart from Christ. That is where we invite Him in……..That’s where it starts. So many times I ask Him to assist me in doing what I have no business doing. God doesn’t want to assist us in anything…

He wants to live His life out in us………………Through the Holy Spirit! That’s the Aha moment of the Christian life. That is what makes it so vastly different from anything else.

I can call upon my Father at any hour of the day or night and I know He is always listening……because I’m His child. What Father wouldn’t?

This morning as I carried my coffee (His Blood) and my scone (His Body) out to my prayer room, I had communion of a different kind. Remembering what He did on the cross, that’s what communion is. This is my body, broken for you……a prayer of Thanksgiving from my heart to His.

Sometimes the elements look a bit  different, but really, isn’t it our intent He looks at?  

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Jesus valued relationships above all. He put people over religion every single time. That’s what got Him in trouble with all those religious folk. Jesus broke molds right and left while He was on this earth. He not only broke them, He smashed them to bits.

He talked with women, met with sinners, ate with people from across the tracks. That’s the God I love.

And if you answer His knock, I can promise you won’t be disappointed.

photos taken in Twain Harte, California
bottom: My brother Ron and daughter Lauryn

A Few Highlights…..

I headed to the attic alcove and hung my hat……..
My very own lookout….in the morning I opened the windows and woke up with the Stellar’s Jays racket high up in the trees…..heavenly.
This wonderful cabin had windows that opened in…..I was like a little kid when I saw them!
Our home for two wonderful days…….
Lunch at one of my favorite places with three of my favorite people Diane and Elaine……(My Mom not pictured)
 Meeting the new family member, Abby
I got to spend some quality “Aunty” time with our girl, Lauryn
Lauryn and my brother, Ron who bought us this wonderful cabin for the weekend!
Yes, it is…….
Now we are home, bringing back summer colds but thankfully, great memories to go along with them! These memories we made are such gifts from God and I am truly thankful for every moment……

Blogging across the fence

I like to think of blogging as meeting for coffee, or over the back fence. People used to do that, and in some places they still do. Recently my Mom was over at my Aunt’s house and she saw a gathering of people in the front yard playing dominoes. Yes, in the front….almost scandalous nowadays. They were laughing and carrying on and having a great old time. It was a good thing to see. Of course my Mom, never having met a stranger, had to go talk to them.

They exchanged information…..greeting…..fellowship. A bit of bringing Heaven down to earth. All because they made themselves available. Open.

I have lived before in neighborhoods where every evening a symphony of garage doors would open with big yawns and swallow up the cars and the people in them and that was the last you saw of your neighbor. One time my Mom was visiting and she got so starved for people she flagged someone down who was driving by just for someone to talk to.

In these days of mobility and technology we often lose that sense of community. It gets to be a challenge to get back in touch with it. That’s why I like blogging. I feel like we are virtual neighbors meeting over the back fence. A little solitude is a very good thing, but too much is not good, we tend to make ourselves crazy.
God knew that too.

Sharing beliefs, joys and sorrows, snippets of our lives makes us feel like we are not alone. We join hands across the aisles, finding common ground in all sorts of things. We see how we are the same and how we are different.

And how wonderful to be able to pray for someone I have never actually met!

So pull up a chair, gather around, pour yourself a cup.

You don’t even have to call before you come by.

“…….and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24, 25 

Even while we sleep……

Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin…….my steps have held to your paths; my feet have not slipped….Psalm 16:3,5

I was tossing and turning over a situation. It was a fitful night, but this morning I awoke to the sound of rain….welcome rain on the rooftop. I heard the gentle patter of it off and on while it was still dark, and though my sleep was not totally restful I was somehow always lulled back to sleep.
I needed the comfort of the Psalms this morning and so I opened my Bible to my old friends that never fail to give me the peace I need in every situation.

Imagine, even while we are sleeping, God is working for us……..”I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:7,8

I am praising and thanking the Lord today, for Godly counsel. For the wisdom I find in His word and for those He has lovingly placed in my life who say just the right thing at the right time.

holy experience  I am giving thanks for my Mom today, who said just the right thing this morning when I needed it. What a solid rock you are! I can always find the right perspective when I talk to you. I thank God for you.

When we all get to Heaven

If I could write a book, that would be the title. It’s one of the songs that my family used to sing when we got together. We used to call them “sings.” I guess you could call them jam sessions to use a more modern term. My Uncle played the sax but not very well. Uncle Bill played the banjo very well, having been self taught. One of Mom’s sisters Aunt Mayvis or Esther would be on piano or organ, and  singing Alto, and my Dad would play what we used to call the “gut bucket,” also known as the “washtub bass.” (As barefoot Larry illustrates above) He played his alternating two notes right on time. My Mom would do lead soprano and Aunt Lois and all of us kids would round out vocals, when we weren’t holding our ears in mock horror.

Those choruses roll over in my mind and I love hearing them. They are part of the fabric of my being. Uncle Bill and Aunt Esther have been gone several years now. Aunt Mayvis is sorting through my Uncle’s things now, since he won’t be coming home again. Aunt Lois has been alone for years now, and my cousin was home last weekend helping her out at the house. My Mom and Dad, thankfully are going strong.

But we are all getting closer and closer to “that time.” Even me. It gives me pause.

It also gives me strength to honor all their memories by taking care of myself…..living well….and keeping their stories alive.

I want my niece to know what kind of people she comes from, how strong they were and how proud I am of them all. For their stories are all of our stories. Their lives were marked with sacrifice and hardship and they never gave up. They were thinking of the future, theirs and ours.  

So every now and again I resurrect the stories here…..to honor them.

I find myself wishing I could have been there when my Aunt and Uncle and two friends all got perms when they came to California in the late 1930’s in their old Ford piled with everything they could put on top. The relatives thoughtfully had a place ready for them to live……in the chicken coop. But they didn’t know that then.

Or seen my Grandmother and Grandfather rescue the baby chicks that didn’t drown in the rainstorm, bringing them in by the wood stove to dry.

I think I can almost see them looking back as they left their farm behind in North Dakota to move to California…. I know they shed many tears for the little girl they left behind, her small 2 year old body marked with a lamb on the stone……and all their animal friends, each one of whom were named. They were their working partners through several harsh winters.

And I wish I could have seen my Mom win my Dad back after they had a fight in high school, she in her black dress and gold lame shoes, singing a love song on stage at the school talent show. She and my Dad reconciled that night.

I remember them all today. Their lives encourage me to take care of myself and do my best to make them proud, and to cherish every year God gives me, and to never ever give up.

Always keeping their stories living, breathing, with me.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

What’s Your Heritage?

I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. 2 Timothy 1:3-6

If you had someone in your life who taught you about God, you are blessed. Maybe it wasn’t your parents. Maybe it was an Aunt or Uncle, or maybe a Grandmother, Grandfather, a Sunday school teacher or friend……Somebody who came before you thought it was important for you to know about God.

I wonder if that is going away? I can’t say how many times those old hymns that I learned have come back into my mind at the most unexpected times…..have given comfort when I needed it most.

There is a reason why even hardened criminals or people who have been away from the church for many years tear up when they hear the strains of “How Great Thou Art” or “Great is thy Faithfulness.” Or a Christmas carol.…….It is the power behind the words.

So many parents would never dream of telling their children that there is no God, and yet they live as if He doesn’t exist. He doesn’t figure into any of their hopes and dreams. He may be out there somewhere, yet He never comes up in conversation…..Never is He factored into any of their plans. They are unknowingly withholding the greatest most valuable thing they could ever give their children.

A Godly heritage.

If there is someone whose image popped into your mind just now, please keep them in your prayers today and every day.

And if there was someone in your life that gave you that, thank God for them today.

The Dad you never had

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families…….Psalm 68:5,6
That’s Our God!
I am blessed, truly blessed. I had a real Dad. We were pals, and still are. My Mom was the disciplinarian in the family, Dad could never do it. I never doubted that he would have walked through fire for me. His own Dad left the family when he was very small. That day haunted him all his life. I don’t think he has ever fully recovered, even at 82 the memory is as clear now as it was way back then. He determined that when he had kids, it would be different. I can never think of a time in my life when he wasn’t there for me.
But I know that is not the case with many.  
This post is for you. For all of you who longed desperately to see a face in the crowd rooting you on, and for everyone who was crushed and disappointed when Dad broke a promise……for the hundredth time. For those of you who never had a Dad who cared enough to make the promise in the first place, and everyone who ached for love and kindness and got harsh critisicm instead.
Or angry words……
For those who longed to hear, “I am proud of you!” You might be all grown up now but even so, the child in you still wants to hear it.

And that thing you were really really good at, that God made you good at?  That thing you stopped doing because nobody was in the stands? When you gave up on yourself? God saw that. He was cheering from the stands and saying…..I knew you could do it!

He was proud of you then and He’s still proud of you now. Feel His love wrapped around you today.

He’s the Dad you never thought you had.

If you always longed to feel the strength of a big hand wrapped around yours, letting you know that everything in your world was safe, take heart. God can fill that void perfectly. He can take all those empty spaces and replace them with His great love and protection.

Oh, how He wants to do that for you today.

And Daddy, remember how you shopped for weeks looking for that perfect Christmas gift for me? You must have been so excited for me to open it, that beautiful hat and matching scarf. Back then I thought I was too cool to wear it. Forgive me for being too childishly selfish to fully appreciate your gift of love. I wish I had it back now. If I did I would wear it proudly and never let it go……I love you! Happy Dad’s Day.

Remedy for Regret

The way I see it, one of the best ways to minimize regret both now and in the future is to cherish the present.  Nothing makes you feel more acutely the weight and passage of time more than knowing that you weren’t fully living it when you were there. The thing is, it takes time to learn that. I think of times spend with loved ones and I want desperately to get that time back because I know where my mind was back then. Too many times it was distracted……or I was irritated by some small thing.
Or focused on myself. I wish I could go back……redeem it somehow.  
Now that I have reached fifty plus two, time feels like an out of control river rushing under a bridge, and me watching from above. Instead of focusing on what time I still have, I get caught up in time I see already gone. It’s like trying to drive by watching the rear view mirror.

I lose sight of what is still to come, and there is so much more.

I think it is a mistake to think that once you get a certain age, the best years are behind you. Every stage of life is important and necessary and of great value and each season carries it’s own unique lessons. And when I think of eternity, all I see is an ocean of time with an giant expanse of more joy and peace than I can possibly imagine. 

I am determined to live more right here in the present. I confess, this week my focus has been on just getting to the end of the week. I started the week already looking ahead to the weekend…..I wonder now what moments I stole from myself or someone else…….

That is the best way I can think of to let the people in my life, and God know that I truly cherish them……

Right now.

First two pics are from google
Last two were taken of niece Lauryn by her big “Sis”

Congratulations Graduate!

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5,6 

Congratulations to one special graduate today…..
Cassandra: You came into our lives and hearts as a little girl with bundles of energy and giggles…….you brought us “older” folks some spark and light. A barefoot girl, you didn’t like shoes much, could barely keep a pair on you….well, that part hasn’t changed much! We marveled at how who loved to watch TV upside down. It seemed for awhile there, you were either running, screaming, twirling, or hanging upside down.
On one of our first introductions, we had a tea party and gave ourselves flower names. You made us laugh when you kept insisting we go back to the kitchen for real sugar, real milk, real tea. No pretending for you….I still have the picture of the three of us, you Elaine and myself, you with your pinky up and cup facing straight down.
In some ways I suppose I will always see you a bit like that, spinning around on the swing, hair flying. Making the neighbor boy sick when he tried to spin as fast as you…..Being pushed by Ivy the goat, also on the swing. I remember watching movies together and you falling asleep as I read aloud from whatever book I was reading at the time.
You passed me in height, which I realize is not saying much, me being vertically challenged the way I am. You grew into a beautiful young woman when I wasn’t looking, and I want you to know I am proud of you.
Proud of your work ethic, your sensitivity to others, your giving heart.
Hold your head high tonight, and savor the moment.
Realize that these are the times that we all wish we could go back to, if we only knew then what we know now. Pick a career you have a passion for, and don’t settle for anything less. When you love what you do, it won’t feel like work.
I will miss seeing you walk across that stage tonight, but I know you will have the love and support of friends and family to cheer you on. We will  be cheering too, from Arizona.
Remember us when you walk those halls in college, going about your day. Pause and remember when you feel a gentle breeze, that it is my prayer touching you on the shoulder.
The best advice I could give you to carry you through to adulthood is to hold God close and keep your Bible handy. If you do that, you will be at peace whatever happens. You will make mistakes just like we all do, but you have the character to get back up and keep going. And always remember:

“Angels on your pillow……………..Angels in your dreams!”
Aunt Lori

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.” Sandra Carey

Gratitude is Counter Cultural

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:20

I went on a walk last night, just before the last bit of light was snatched out of the sky. My mood was on the somber side. As I walked, however, I was keenly aware of one thing. That it was still cool. Something in my soul jumped up and said……”Remember this, remember this……” For soon, it will be so stifling hot we won’t be able to walk outside without suffocating.

I found myself at the community pool just as the stars came out……both pools were empty, both the inside one and the outside one. I missed my niece terribly just then. She loves to go swimming more than anything in the world. I could see her in my mind and hear her voice and I felt the regret of knowing all that I have missed with her being one state away.

At any given time in this life there are things to feel sad about. But living this way…..this way of looking back is not what God wants us to do. We have a forward thinking God. When we are depressed, we are off balance. Our vision is skewed. We think of how things were, and compare them to how things are now. When we fear that things will get worse, we assume we know what the future holds, but only God knows that. When I think like that I am playing God.

This is dangerous thinking because then, I forget to be thankful for all those things we can praise Him for right now.
 
I was given a great gift growing up. I was taught it by my folks, who thought it was a value to be passed on, and the best way I can repay them is to pass it on to others. I see this photo of my Mom’s table and I smile. I see in my own table, my own home a reflection of the joy within it. With each and every item on her table, there is a story……
 
The kerosene lamp that she has always had on her table 
 
The robin that has a special meaning of hope in the midst of sorrow
 
The mug from a favorite place, the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite
 
My own prayer journal
 
In a world that says to always seek bigger, better, and more than what you have. I am so grateful for what I do have. For the love that resides in my home, the peace, the smile that greets me……. 
 
I am rich and blessed beyond measure.