Christian living

Counting the Gifts

“Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.  Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.” James1:16-18

Between last night and this morning we have had some wonderful artwork in the sky. Though we suffer through these stifling summers, who a Pastor last week very aptly described as being hit with a blow-torch, this time of year yields the most wonderful skies with the afternoon rains we sometimes get.

This morning I went out in my usual spot in the corner of the yard, where I get a bit of a crosswind, and watched the world wake up as I awoke with it. There was a puddle the rain left behind and I watched as a group of birds ingeniously dunked their bits of food in the water and alternately bathed……it was quite a show……

Then I went around back and caught Mama and Papa quail and their little one on the wall….
I am thankful today for my camera, which allows me to stop and take a second look at the world and all of God’s good gifts…..
For God who provided me with the money to buy it……
For my best friend who forced me to buy something for myself even though I walked around and around Costco before I did it……
All these things which remind us that God is good, and so is the world He created.
For His word, our compass to show us where to go……
What path to take.
And the Holy Spirit who helps us do those impossible things that we could never do on our own.
For the people who love and encourage us every day.

Celebrating Multitude Mondays along with many others in the gratitude community today……..

(sorry, the little graphic for Ann’s website wouldn’t download today)

Upside down justice

“Can anyone teach God knowledge to God, Since He judges even the highest? One man dies in his full strength, being wholly at ease and secure; his body is well-nourished, his bones rich with marrow. Another man dies in the bitterness of his soul, never having enjoyed anything good.” Job 21:22-25
Does it ever seem like we are living in an upside down world? Evil acts go unpunished. Something in us wants, craves justice. Sometimes we feel like taking matters into our own hands. There have been several movies that portray someone doing just that. The other night I happened upon one. I was over at someone’s house and a movie started. There was a heartfelt scene with a Dad and his daughter lovingly interacting. Then it all went terribly wrong. A home invasion. Three men burst in, killed the wife, kidnapped and later killed the daughter. The father barely survived. It was merciless, they killed without remorse. I left after the first scene.  
I later found out what happened. The “perps” got off, so the Dad ended up finding all three and ingeniously divising each one’s torturous death. He ended up terrorizing the whole town and in the end, he was blown up. Death by napalm. It wasn’t a satisfactory end for anyone. No one got justice, and nothing he did gave him any satisfaction in the end. He died clinging to a necklace his daughter made for him. It was hopeless.
We may say about someone, why is this person still taking up air? They do no good for anyone, they are miserable and life seems like a chore to them. There is no joy in their days, and they weigh others down with their bleak outlook. Why, we wonder, can’t they just die peacefully in their sleep? But thankfully, that is not up to me to decide. I am sure I would get it all wrong.

When my thoughts meander in that direction, the only way I know to get peace is to give God back His sovereignty. At times like that, it is tempting to wrestle it away from Him. But He alone has control of how many breaths, years, months, anyone has. We must give back to God’s what is God’s. When I let it rest with Him, He blesses me with the peace and strength I so desperately seek.

My thoughts calm.

I don’t have to worry about justice. I know that belongs to God. All that is wrong will one day be made right. And in the meantime, I will rest in Him. I remember how mercifully He has dealt with me.

The Word is a tremendous comfort in times like these. When I read these words in Job today, I was reassured. Others have felt the same way down through the ages. But God doesn’t change. And one thing is for sure. I can rest in His justice, and mercy. For really, what does any of us deserve?

It is because of His great love and mercy He has saved us from what we all deserve.

Because of His love for me, I get what I don’t deserve.

Because God is Real

photo of clouds behind my house

People may ask, what does it matter what you do? What you watch? What you listen to? Does anyone really care? In this age of anything goes, does it matter anymore? It matters greatly because we greatly matter to God! It matters more than ever.

Not only is God alive to us, He wants to be involved in everything we do. He has a personal investment in us! It is the difference between feeling like a latchkey kid, always having to let yourself in the door at night, and being a kid whose parents want to know where you are and who you are hanging with. Not because they are busybodies, or nosy, or want to rule your life….but because they care and want the best for you.

Not only that, but He comes alongside and helps me back up when I fail miserably. He understands that I will, but because He looks on my heart, He knows my motive. He can see if love is what drives me or something else.

This morning I was tossing and turning……It was three o’ clock and I had to get up at four. I rolled over after looking at the clock, and was glad I had another hour. But I couldn’t go back to sleep. I tried the 23rd Psalm, that usually works to lull me back to slumber. But this morning I got stuck on lines. The first one actually…..

“The Lord is my Shepherd……the Lord is my Shepherd…….the Lord is my Shepherd”…..Thoughts crash in like ocean waves……I wonder how much time I left with my parents, Dad is turning 83 this week…..what will I do if I get a phone call saying they are gone and I didn’t get to say goodbye…..What is our President doing with our money? Will we have anything left to call our own after he gets done playing monopoly with it? Maybe I should sell everything and move into the RV and put my money in a coffee can.

I shall not want, I shall not want, I shall not want…….He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.

He leadeth me beside still waters…..

In Him, I have everything I need, and yet I toss and turn some more. I never go back to sleep. 3:10…..3:20…..3:50……

This morning, my first cup of coffee having cleared my head, I was thinking about Psalm 23 again. This image stayed with me. I pictured My Shepherd, His body laying down across the sheep gate in the night, the sheep gate of my life, my heart…… protecting the sheep (me) from preditors in the night…..

thoughts that go astray…….worries that won’t sleep.

He says: “Don’t worry, I got you covered.”

Picture credit of sheep: Google images

The Final Frontier

One sings in her wheelchair as she is pushed along the halls, mostly Que Sara, Que Sara, sometimes Amazing Grace. She has an amazingly strong voice. We try to meet all their faces as we pass, and say hello and smile. You have the sense of wanting to give them back their humanity in this land of the seemingly lonely and forgotten.
When I first started to do the nursing home thing again, I recoiled. It felt like the Land of the Lost. My friend calls it the Roach Motel. You check in but you don’t check out.
Where my Uncle is staying there is a gentleman there who insists that he will get to Heaven by train. When my Aunt sees him, he makes the announcement, “I have my ticket, I am leaving today at three o’clock.” Hey I kind of like that idea, like going to Heaven on the Hogwart’s Express! One lady, mutters constantly….”I don’t know what the hell I am doing in this place.” Once she never stepped out of her house looking anything less than dressed to the nines with hair perfectly styled. Now my Aunt says she looks like a street person. Unrecognizable as the woman she once was.
They give these places fancy sounding names like “Rehabilitation Center” “Care Centers” “Guest Homes.”
I have to say, now that I have been “doing the circuit” again, there is something else that is clear to me. It is not all hopeless. I walk past rooms that are decorated in pictures from home, their pets, Scripture verses, shelves of books, colorful quilts in bright colors.
All in all, I have made up my mind that you die the way you lived.
If you are positive when you were young, you will be positive all the way to the end. Unless you don’t have your mind, that is. Then it’s different.
I walk along the halls and see signs of life and hope, and see signs up giving up.
It all comes down to life and death in the end.
I am determined that I will choose life no matter what. That is the hope I have in Jesus. That is the hope that Henry has. Elaine met him walking the halls. They got to talking and he told her he comes from a long line of ministers. He told her with a sparkle in his eye, “Today I am reading the book of Numbers!”
If I ever end up in one of these places I want to be like Henry.
Or the guy waiting for my three o clock train to Heaven.
And honestly, sometimes it doesn’t sound too bad. No responsibilies, a shelf full of books, three square meals….I just really hope that I can keep my eyesight and my mind.
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38

The Dinner Dance

Dinner has become very interesting at our house. The full execution of it from preparation to cleanup resembles something like a military operation, or an episode of Amazing Race. When her Mom moved in, we knew there would be some major adjustments, and dinner is one of those that has changed. We are still trying to learn the rules. This stems partially from the Alzheimer’s and partly from the fact that her approach to dinner and mealtimes in general, drastically differs from ours.

Ours is relaxation, appreciation of the food, fellowship and conversation.

Hers is put it on the table so we can get it over and go back to watching TV.

From what I understand, cooking food was always a chore for her. She always hated it. It was never a labor of love. They called her cooking burnt offerings. Mealtime was something to get through, in survival mode….and the table was a form of controlled chaos.

Some days it almost seems like we are settling into some kind of rhythm, then the next day everything is crazy again and the rules change.

Dinner has become like a strategic operation. Kind of like a race against time. You do what you can on the sly so that you can get to it before she does. I know, I know, it doesn’t sound very kind, but believe me. It is necessary. Otherwise it would never happen at all.

If you start too early, she comes and stands in the middle of the kitchen and watches every move you make, not saying a word……just staring, glaring really. So you want to minimize the amount of time that happens. Other times, she watches over your shoulder asking, “What’s that?” and “What are you doing now?” You have to dance around her.

Sometimes she will take a seat where she can watch, stony faced and silent. It is unnerving. You start to do everything faster so you can get it done and get out. If you’ve ever watched an episode of “Keeping Up Appearances” and know what happens when neighbor Elizabeth comes for coffee at Hyacinth’s, you will know just about how it looks in the kitchen right before dinner goes on the table. It’s worth a look up on You Tube.

And she will not……. absolutely not sit down until everyone else is seated.

She treats everything on her plate with a certain amount of disdain and suspicion. That part is just personality, nothing to do with the disease. She does the same thing in restaurants, it’s as if she is just daring the food to be edible.

You cringe inwardly, waiting for the comment, “There is a taste in here that I don’t care for…..” or “I’m still trying to decide if I like it,” when it is something a bit different than meat and potatoes. Sometimes, but only if we ask first mind you, there will be an affirmative response to “How do you like it, Mom?” But that is risky territory. Mostly we cook what we know is safe.

The TV stays on to cover the loud sniffing while dining.

Clean up resembles a Chinese fire-drill. By the time it is done we are all mentally exhausted.

I remember all the times I prayed for God to make me more loving, to turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh…….I so want to respond the way Jesus would. To have the patience to let her help. We give her tasks so that she can feel useful and feel like she has a place of welcome in our home, her home too now……but it’s very hard sometimes.

There is a part of me that is stubborn enough to make this work without any of us going crazy, and for that I am grateful.

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:9,10

Finding beauty when and where you can

There are times when you simply no longer recognize your life……….It happens slowly sometimes, gradually. You look up and find yourself surrounded and in the mire, you feel stuck. You wonder what happened.
Other times it happens with life events, all of a sudden. Leaving no time to prepare, “to lock and load” against the barrage coming at you.
Right now it seems that everywhere I look…….in the lives of those I hold dear, major adjustments are having to be made. My Aunt is packing up some of my Uncle’s things since he has had to go to the nursing home. She is living in a strange land now. The land of dementia……She told me, “He is here, but he’s not here. I am grieving him and he is still alive.” Tears come easily for her. She is packing his shop, and I am sure all the memories along with it.
She struggles with false guilt. She thinks that because she is a Christian she should be handling it better. But what prepares you for this?
Still she has held onto her humor, her eyes still find the beauty in her life.
She still thanks God for all the time she had with him. She has hope in her Savior.
The joy of the Spirit has not left her.
Because of who she is, she still sees the beauty in each new day. She still has her marvelous sense of humor. She called my Mom and asked on a particularly hot day….”Do you want to lay out?” She and my Mom used to sunbathe until they were black….baking for hours. Now they each have standing appointments at the dermatologist as a result…….Laying out in the sun at 80 years of age is now laughable…
And laugh they did.
One friend has a wayward adult child living at home once again……he has suffered many setbacks and can’t seem to get back on track. He has made bad choices, and now this Mom and Dad are being dragged along for the ride. They love him so much it hurts.
There is one thing, one BIG common denominator in all these people’s lives……..they know Jesus. I refute those studies that say there is no marked difference in the lives of believers and unbelievers, the things they do or don’t do. Frankly, they can stick those studies where the sun don’t shine. They really make me mad, can you tell? I know better. I have seen it with my own eyes.
In my best friend, my own parents, my Aunt, my dear friend and her husband, and many others.
Since I started in a caretaking role myself, there are so many things I understand now, better than I did before. And I am thankful for that. God saw fit to “learn me a lesson.” He does that mostly through other people. My life has changed very much over that past year or so. I am still adjusting.
I hope I can grow to be like the heroes I see around me. Still finding the beauty and not losing my sense of humor. I feel that many times lately I have missed the mark. I have become kind of a grumbler…..but inside where no one can see. But God sees my heart, and He knows I don’t want to be a grumbler inside or outside.
Sometimes just finding that quiet place for a few moments is difficult, but necessary. To regroup.
How does your faith help you in your everyday life? Does it make things easier? I welcome any and all thoughts….
All photos taken by me at the Disney Grand Hotel

In the Morning…….

This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope. 
       Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not. 
     They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:21-23

I was thinking about how no matter how tired, worn out, exhausted mentally and physically we sometimes get, there is always a new supply of energy that comes with morning. Our hope is renewed during the night when thoughts are stilled and all is quiet………we are restored once more.

I remember when my Sister in law found the “morning” of her life. She was at the very brink of death when she found it. Really, none of us knows how much time we have. We think we do. But those who are terminally ill have no such illusions. Cancer had made it plain that barring a miracle, she would soon be with Jesus.

She knew what all of us need to know sooner rather than later. Knowing Jesus is all that matters. In Him she found the peace and joy that people travel the world to find. They come up empty, but she was filled to overflowing.
Her favorite song towards the end of her life was “Give Me Jesus.”
 
 
The halls of Heaven have been ringing with her most magical laugh since 1998, and sometimes I still can’t believe she is gone. I know if she were here, she would wish for every single person on this planet to know her Jesus.
 
 
The time is so short……..
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus

When I am alone
When I am alone
When I am alone
Give me Jesus

And when I come to die
When I come to die
When I come to die
Give me Jesus

 
 
This song, according to internet sources, comes from an old Spiritual sung by slaves. Also, this more modern version has been attributed to both Fernando Ortega and Fanny Crosby.

What’s Your Heritage?

I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. 2 Timothy 1:3-6

If you had someone in your life who taught you about God, you are blessed. Maybe it wasn’t your parents. Maybe it was an Aunt or Uncle, or maybe a Grandmother, Grandfather, a Sunday school teacher or friend……Somebody who came before you thought it was important for you to know about God.

I wonder if that is going away? I can’t say how many times those old hymns that I learned have come back into my mind at the most unexpected times…..have given comfort when I needed it most.

There is a reason why even hardened criminals or people who have been away from the church for many years tear up when they hear the strains of “How Great Thou Art” or “Great is thy Faithfulness.” Or a Christmas carol.…….It is the power behind the words.

So many parents would never dream of telling their children that there is no God, and yet they live as if He doesn’t exist. He doesn’t figure into any of their hopes and dreams. He may be out there somewhere, yet He never comes up in conversation…..Never is He factored into any of their plans. They are unknowingly withholding the greatest most valuable thing they could ever give their children.

A Godly heritage.

If there is someone whose image popped into your mind just now, please keep them in your prayers today and every day.

And if there was someone in your life that gave you that, thank God for them today.

Taming the tongue

Greer, Arizona

On June 11th, what has now become Arizona’s largest wildfire in history was started. It was human caused, reportedly by a campfire. Around 534,639 acres have burned. The Wallow Fire, as it has been named, is dying down at last. My heart was broken when I read about some of the most beautiful country in our state going up in flames, not to mention the houses and towns threatened. No human deaths occured, which is a miracle. I am happy to say that one of my very favorite towns, Greer has been spared. Go here to check out a great place to stay if you ever find yourself in our State.

Such a devastaing fire, started by one small flame……that’s is what was on my mind when I read this verse from James:

In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches……..
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!

The other morning I illustrated the validity and truth of Scripture with my own actions. I wasn’t planning on it, of course, but I did it all the same. It happened as I pulled into the parking lot at work, where we have recently installed solar panels. The fact that they are a wonderful power source is a side note to what really matters to those of us who leave our cars out there in the baking sun for 12 hours now that it is approaching 108-110 in the shade. Covering. They only provided us with two rows of them, in a virtual sea of spaces, however. To say that these are much sought after spots is an understatement.

So now I leave at 5:10 instead of 5:20.

I had just finished praying as I approached what I thought was an available spot. There was a motorcycle parked there. Immediately I cursed them. Yes, I did. And then I had to pray again.

For forgiveness.

How quickly my heart and my tongue can turn from blessing to cursing, Father, forgive me. Sweet and bitter water out of the same fountain…..

And yet, He is faithful to forgive….once again.

I think of that devastating fire, all the damage that will take so many years to restore. I think of all the destruction that negative words can cause and how maybe someone can never ever be restored, repaired from the hurt that goes so deep. I think of how much good that wonderful words can do. How a face can light up from a simple compliment.

It is humbling…..makes me want to do better.

What Lasts Forever

“For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God. As the Scriptures say,

“People are like grass;
their beauty is like a flower in the field.
The grass withers and the flower fades.
But the word of the Lord remains forever.”
There are so many warnings in the Bible about staying focused. God knows the world can knock us off-kilter. It has the capacity to swallow us up and spit us out whole if we are not careful. This morning I read, rather, listened to, the book of Jude. It was very sobering, and all the more when you realize it is written to and about those inside the church, not outside it!
I know the capacity of my mind to wander, leave the trail, go off in a different direction. I go after grass that seems greener, not seeing the steep drop off on the other side until it is much too late. 
Something can seem righter than rain to my own heart, my own intellect…..until I see it the way God sees it, and I can only see it the way He sees it when I am immersed in His word. It is my magnifying glass that allows me to see myself and the world more clearly. It settles me, sets me right again.
Since I started commuting, I have started listening to it on CD. I can’t express what that has done for me. As much as I love to read, usually 2-3 books at a time, I am extremely lazy when it comes to reading Scripture. But I can listen to it for over an hour a day and cover a lot of ground. I figure, this is one thing that is making a change in me for all eternity. It is the mysterious process known as the grafting in of the Word of Life.
This is a change that is not temporary, this is a change that will last forever.
The only single drawback to listening to Scripture instead of reading it is that I sometimes get sidetracked by how the voices sound. I loved the way the reader of the book of Jude sounded this morning. He had a good “Jude” voice…..thunderous and emphatic without being too dramatic. On the other hand, I find the woman’s voice who reads 1st, 2nd and 3rd John very annoying. I actually have to read those books because I find her voice so distracting.
The woman who reads 1st and 2nd Corinthians has a British accent and she is great. I tend to want to hear her again and again. She sounds like a combination of Maggie Smith and Cate Blanchett. Imagine Lady Galadriel reading Scripture!
See how easy it is for my mind to wander? I think I need to read more…..Hmmm.
“Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault.” Jude 1:24
Have a peaceful day everyone!