Caretaking

Sanity Restored

but just as it is written, “THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR HAS NOT HEARD, AND which HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN, ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
What a wonderful time away in beautiful San Diego. God is so good. He has created such beauty in the world for us to enjoy. The balmy breezes you hear about? All true. I felt them, every one! It was such a blessing to have this change of scenery that I love so much.
Best of all, I got to watch my best friend become her carefree self once again.
When you are a full time caretaker, your needs go on the back burner and you actually morph into the person you are care giving. Your own self disappears. That is when despair settles in because you really don’t see an end. It is as your view is distorted and you can no longer see clearly. It is a sad and curious phenomenon that everyone who has done this knows very well.


But for four wonderful days, all that was left behind. Sanity was restored.

We stayed in a place where it was easy to forget……they even had two resident parrots who rested on a perch right outside our room. We could hear them screech from time to time, and the seagulls crying overhead made us sigh…..

And far away, the magical sound of the foghorn drifting across the water.

It was all so very good.

A big thank you to Elaine’s Nephew Mark who stayed with his Grandma so she could have a few days rest. God bless you!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

This Good Day

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” Matthew 4:19

We have had a couple days away from everything. And it has been much needed…….the best part?
 
No plan……..No schedule……No worries
 
Yesterday I walked along the beach and caught the sun coming up over the city of San Diego….what a gift!
 
Elaine left her Mom with Nephew Mark and to his credit there have been no calls or texts. I know that is because he knows how much stress his Aunty is under and wants her around for a long long time.
 
It is amazing what just a few days can do. So far the whole weekend has felt something like this:
 

Morning sun, morning glories
Pouring down the hill
Through my window I can feel the ocean breeze
Noisy sparrows fill the oak trees
Swallows can’t stay still
And in the glad commotion, Lord, You speak to me
If rain clouds come
Or the cold winds blow
You’re the One Who goes before me
And in my heart I know
That this good day
It is a gift from You
The world is turning in its place
Because You made it to
I lift my voice to sing a song of praise
On this good day
Fernando Ortega, partial lyric This Good Day


San Diego, California is only 6 hours from Phoenix but it feels half a world away……..I thank you God for this marvelous gift and all the beauty you created for us to enjoy…..
 
One more day left…..

The Next Room of Prayer

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

Let us firmly resolve not to lost the battle we fight. For if the devil sees that we are willing to lose our life and our peace, and that nothing can entice us back to the first room (first stage of prayer), he will soon cease from troubling us. But we must be resolute, for we fight with devils, and thus, there is no better weapon than the cross. Theresa of Avila

I tend to blame a lot of the way I feel on external things, people, life…….circumstances around me. But at the heart of it all, is my own response to all those things. My own internal struggle, the one that wages on in my soul, that old spiritual battle we have fought since the beginning. That is what keeps me in prayer. If Satan can convince us that the battle is lost, like we are failures at our faith. He has won.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem like we are getting any closer to our goal…..but the truth may be that we are closer than we think. It may be that we have moved up a level, into the next room of our prayer life. Lately I have felt much like a hollowed out gourd. Writing about anything has been hard. I have a person living in my home who has exposed me to myself…….made me see the reality of just how weak my faith is. Can it be that is what God has wanted me to see all along?

How can I ever fully understand His strength unless I am met face to face with the stark reality of my weakness? My inability to do anything on my own?

It is no wonder I am exhausted. I have been wielding my own sword and not His.

It is this act of laying down my very ineffective sword again and again………that is where the real battle comes in. Like Peter, I want to take matters into my own hands and slice off the ear of the guard. I so identify with Peter. He sees chaos coming and wants to defend, to fight, to fix, to right the wrong on his own.

But Jesus says no.

Jesus walks right through the middle of it, knowing that in order to win the war you have to pick your battles.

And for the joy set before Him endured the cross…………..”Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

What matters most

Above all powers
Above all kings
Above all nature
And all created things
Above all wisdom
And all the ways of man
You were here
Before the world began……
This was the week Elaine and I were supposed to go on a cruise to Belize. Caretaking took that away as it has taken many things away this past year…..
But somehow, sitting in church yesterday listening to the sermon and, most of all,  having Elaine’s Nephew Mark sitting right beside us. The cruise didn’t matter as much anymore. Not if it meant having an eternal impact on someone dear. None of our travels matter much in the long run.
What I heard yesterday reminded me. Knowing God matters more. Reaching the halls of Heaven matter. Hearing the gospel and having a chance to respond? That matters more than anything.
When the Pastor took the long black rope representing our whole life plus eternity…..when he held up the piece with the knot about 4 inches away from the end, and how we pour everything we have into that four inches representing our very short time on earth…..
Our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions to make money, have a successful career, a family…..all on that very tiny end with the knot.
And we fail to think, to plan. For the rest of the rope that represents eternity. Stretching on and on.
We fail to count the cost.
Fail to plan for eternity and where we will spend it.
As he said the words, I felt the chill…….Saying “maybe tomorrow” is the same as saying no to God.
Later today is also a refusal.
With all that life hanging in the balance, 
A little cruise didn’t matter so much anymore. 
Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders
The world has ever known
Above all wealth
And treasures of the earth
There’s no way to measure
What You’re worth
Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
 Michael W. Smith
the blessings keep coming, as well as the grace…….Awesome church service yesterday, just when it was needed most…..warm beds at night…..money for the new fridge…..and for the new coffeepot when the other gave out……music to soothe rumpled souls…..praise that lifts the tired and poor of spirit……God’s Spirit that helps us through it all…..warmed up oatmeal maple scone……walking in the mornings chill…..time off work, even when I am not going anywhere……#802-812

I will carry you….

I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 46:4

Caretaking can suck the life out of you. It has the ability to sap you of all strength, make you believe that it will never end. Like this is your lot in life. You feel alone…….unappreciated for all you do. You may even deal with hostility from the one you are trying to take care of.

I have heard it over and over again. Health care professionals will verify it. For some strange reason, many times the caretaker becomes the focus of abuse by the very ones who are being taken care of.

When you are most tired and vulnerable, that is when Satan attacks. He does his best to make you feel singled out and alone. That’s his specialty. That’s what he did to Jesus too.

He also loves to make you feel as if you are undeserving of any other kind of life. He whispers things like “this is what you were meant to do until they end, or you do. But one thing we must never, ever forget.

He is and always will be A Big Fat Liar. Sometimes he even gets us to believe that God did it to us. After all, he says, God could have prevented the circumstance.

He is a tricky one, he is. He knows what we believe about God, because he makes it a point to know which ones belong to Jesus. We are his target. But He knows he can’t have us for eternity, but that doesn’t stop him from messing with us now.

But this is the truth:

Whatever you are going through will not be forever. It will end. It is temporary. You won’t die from it, God has you. He has promised to carry you along and save you. He wants good things for you. And, in the end, you will have the peace that others seek but cannot find. You are doing what is right and what will cause you to have peace ultimately. God will work it out for your good.

Be assured…….He will bring back all that time you thought was lost forever….pressed down and shaken together. You will have years, you will have vacations again, the sun will shine brilliantly in your life once again, even brighter than before.

Be assured. He will bring it to pass.