Me and phones.
I put off calling people, even people I really want to talk to. I don’t know why, I guess because when I analyze it, I automatically assume you are doing something important and I would be an interruption. I don’t know where that comes from, I guess a bit of shyness that has always been part of my character. Leftover from long ago………That, and I can’t see what you are doing. My imagination works overtime. I think how busy you are and the phone ringing would be taking you away from all that. And I can imagine you might think to yourself, “Oh, it’s her.”
My Mom had a brand new friend that she called out of the blue for the first time and the friend said, “What do you want?” I would have been mortified. Of course, she was joking and they had a good laugh. And my Mom has a very healthy self-image and was unfazed. Now when I call Mom, often she starts the conversation with that same line and we both laugh.
But I want you to know, that if I don’t call you, it’s not because I don’t want to talk to you, or that I am not thinking of you. I do, and I am. And if you called I would be very happy no matter what I was doing. Unless you were trying to sell me something.
I guess that’s why I love texting. I never used to text…..at all. Actually, I didn’t know how, and also, I didn’t have an IPhone. I love texting, I don’t have to worry about interrupting anything. If you text back, that means you want to talk. That opens the door for me to respond back.
But it’s never the same. Hearing your voice is so much better. Especially when I can hear you smile over the phone. I picture your face and imagine where you are calling from…..maybe I see your room or kitchen and picture you in it, and that makes me smile.
Really, phone calls across the miles are magic. Sometimes when I get a special phone call, I remember right where I was standing when I got it.
Don’t ever worry about calling me, whatever I am doing or whatever time it is. It means you want to talk to me, and that means everything.
I will try my best despite my phone phobia, to do the same for you.