I knew something was wrong. I could hear it in her voice, there was a sadness behind the words. When I talked about our trip she said, “We’ll see.” Other comments like that were said along with normal conversation. I wondered, but knew when the time was right it would come out.
She brought out a folder, ever the organized one. It was a place to put all the fears, keep them in one place, organize them, make sense of it all. She said, “We have to talk.” And I felt the fear then, as tears spilled over, the dam that had been held at bay, kept inside for 3 days let loose. For the first time, the mammogram really hurt, and there was a reason why. They saw something they didn’t like and left the room really fast.
Everything suspended as the gravity of the situation and what it might mean took hold. She said through tears, “I don’t even care about myself but why should you have to go through this?” A caretaker of others her whole life, still putting herself last.
Life can change overnight with one bad test result. Uncertainty rears it’s head suddenly and everything is colored with it. Ordinary things are treasured like never before. Life is suddenly more precious. The word “precious” means something it never meant before. I said it but I hadn’t understood the weight of it’s meaning. Now I do.
Now there are more tests to come. Already we are surrounded by a circle of prayers, dear loving arms to help hold us up.
Today I tucked this in her medical folder so it is the first thing she sees and not that other “stuff.”
Jesus our healer……Jehovah Rapha the God who Heals….Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you……Lo, I am with you always…I have loved you with an everlasting love.
I rejoice over you with singing……”Thou hast enclosed me behind and before, And laid Thy hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from Thy Spirit? My frame was not hidden from Thee When I was made in secret….Psalm 139:5,7,15
Our circumstances may change, but God never does. That is what I cling to today. That is what my best friend is clinging to as well. We will walk this road as the sisters in faith that we are. As we clasp hands and pray we will navigate this uncharted, uncertain place not knowing what lies ahead, but knowing Him. Not liking the circumstance, but rejoicing in the knowledge that we don’t walk alone. Today I am claiming healing for my best friend and for all others who read this, because really, we all need healing.
Promises from He who is faithful: #211 He will never leave us, #212 He will carry our burdens, #213 He will give us the strength of eagles, #214 He has inscribed our name on the palm of His nail pierced hand, #215 He rejoices over us with singing, #216 There is no place we can go that He will not find us #217 He has secured our salvation, #218 He sympathizes with our weaknesses, #219 He keeps our prayers in a golden bowl, His treasure #220 He is in control of everything, even when we feel out of control!