Joy

I give you Buechner……I give you today.

 

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Reading from the devotional book, “Listening to Your Life” by Frederick Buechner:

September 1

It is a moment of light surrounded on all sides with darkness and oblivion. In the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history there has never been another just like it and there will never be another just like it again. It is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. It is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until your death. If you were aware of how precious it is, you could hardly live through it.  Unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all.

“This is the day that The Lord has made,” say the 118th Psalm. “Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Or weep and be sad in it for that matter. The point is to see it for what it is because it will be gone before you know it. If you waste it, it is your life that you’re wasting. If you look the other way, it may be the moment you’ve been waiting for always that you’re missing.

All other days have either disappeared into darkness and oblivion or not yet emerged from them. Today is the only day there is.

Whew…..few writers like that guy. Even when capturing the beauty of the moment, he comes off a little fatalistic, but then again, life is pretty fatalistic. The point is to treasure each day as if it’s the only one you have, for it just may be, and then eternity awaits. Embrace the joy of this new day, because there is always reason to hope…..to dance.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
    His faithful love endures forever……….Psalm 118:29

photo taken in Moss Landing, California

 

 

And it was morning…….

 

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And it was morning……..the 3rd day of my 4 days off. I took my mug of coffee out to the patio because it was actually bearable outside. Wonderful actually. It is gray over the Superstitions and there is a wonderful breeze just now. The clouds are moving slowly, languishing, and birds are crisscrossing the sky. Clouds might not always have silver linings, but they did today.

When I opened the umbrella I smiled because some of my Birthday fell out. The cactus wren and the woodpecker both like to stash little treasures in there to find later and in this case it was some my leftover cake that was thrown out in the yard.

The sun is rising behind those clouds and its casting a glow……the two doves were just catching a bit of that light on their breasts shining from the rooftop next door.

The buoy bell wind chimes are clanging out front……wind is picking up now and we just might get some sprinkles. The okra has now reached over my head. Each year, it’s a marvel. To think those little seeds could produce such a plant laden with such a misunderstood delightful vegetable.

I understand not everyone likes okra. I feel bad for you, I truly do. This Yankee had never had any until about 10 years ago when E offered me some. At first I was suspicious. I might have curled my lip. Now I can’t get enough. I put it in stews, casseroles, and of course fried with a little dusting of cornmeal. I am like the Bubba Gump spokesperson for okra…….boiled okra, fried okra, okra stew, okra salad…..well maybe not salad.

Just now the rain which had started as a little drop here and there has become a gentle continuous patter. As I feel the little cold drops hit my neck it feels like answered prayer as it always does in the desert.

I close my eyes and I am taken back to camping years in the big red tent. We used to hear one drop and another hit the tent it was a magical sound, but also one of dread because we were never sure how long it would last, and rain meant inactivity and plastic tarp and sending runners out for food. But sometimes it also meant adventure.

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 And it was morning……the 3rd day of my 4 days off. And God and I agreed that it was good……………..

 

My Birthday is not about me, (not entirely anyway)

People probably wonder why I make a big deal out of Birthdays. Mine and everyone else’s. It’s simple really. It’s because my birth along with everyone else’s on earth is a bit of a miracle. The fact that someone wanted me here kind of blows my mind every single day, and my enthusiasm mingled with wonder and a little bit of awe doesn’t seem to be waning as the years go by.

If you are here reading this post, it’s because first and foremost, God wanted you here. You are of great worth to Him, you and your life!

To let my Birthday slide by as just another day is simply not acceptable, and it bothers me a little when grown adults say they don’t celebrate their Birthdays. Celebrating the day of our birth is a way of honoring God; it’s our acknowledgment that we’re grateful to be here; that we’ve made it this far as the song says, “through many dangers toils and snares.” Yes, especially as the years roll on.

When I think of all the impossible beauty I would have missed if I’d never been born and what beauty I have left to see, it fills me with gratitude that I’ve been given so much; and eternity stretches before me like a vast wonderland I have yet to explore. Yes, this is a thing to celebrate. Apparently God thinks it’s a big deal too:

Psalm 71:6 From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you.

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 148:5
Let them praise the name of the LORD, for at his command they were created ……

Proverbs 4:10
Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.

Proverbs 9:11
For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.

Ecclesiastes 11:8
However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all.

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

1 Corinthians 11:12
For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

James 1:18
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.

So today I will have cake and ice-cream and I will celebrate like a kid. And I won’t refuse any gifts. Celebrate with me today, won’t you? I give you permission. Join me in opening your eyes to the beauty all around us. If you have a porch, go out there with a bowl of ice-cream and enjoy the view. Share a coffee and dessert with someone you love. Eat that forbidden thing you never allow yourself to. Give someone a little unexpected gift. Unwrap the wonder with me today.

Because really, there is something to be thankful for every day.

“To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us – and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him. Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.” Thomas Merton

I walked in the rain

 in Just-spring

Last night I did what I always say I’m gonna do when it rains, I went out and took a walk in it. And it was marvelous. It was almost Holy, a Baptism from the skies. I walked once around the park, the silvery cold drops hitting my skin like mercy. That is what rain in the desert feels like you know. Those who have rain all the time just don’t understand what heaven it is.

I walked past all the dark and shuttered houses, and I heard the drops like music on all the metal carports, God’s percussion.

I kept walking as the rivulets of water started to collect en mass and pour down the middle of the streets. Amidst the stream there was a bubble parade and each one caught the streetlights, otherwise I never would have seen them. They were marching onward and I watched as they gathered, pooled and ran down the middle of the street like they were all-stars in a Mr. Bubble commercial.

My glasses covered in drops, I was looking out on a world transformed as though I were looking through prisms……I was the girl with kaleidoscope eyes. It was like when I was very small and would press my face to the glass when it rained, imagining another world in which everything and everyone were made of diamonds.

I wondered at all the quiet houses. Walking in the rain sounds crazy when you are inside looking out, but when you are actually in it, it seems like the most rational thing to do. Ask any kid. Watch them laugh as they turn their face to the heavens, catching drops. We tell them, come inside you’ll catch your death. When they are really trying to catch life.

I came inside. E was on the couch with the iPad and didn’t look up. She is used to my weird notions. She just smiles and nods when I say I’m gonna go around again. And I did.

On the way home I passed by Mama dove who was snug on top of her nest, where she has been for the past month. She peeked out from between the thorns, totally dry, totally safe……

I was soaked and it was wonderful. It was the perfect way to wash off the workweek.

 “But if I were you, I would appeal to God;
    I would lay my cause before him.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
    miracles that cannot be counted.
He provides rain for the earth;
    he sends water on the countryside.
The lowly he sets on high,
    and those who mourn are lifted to safety.
He thwarts the plans of the crafty,
    so that their hands achieve no success.

Job 5:8-12

photo credit: google images

The grace that leads us home

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Every now and then, when I think that maybe I’ve come to the end of my words; where I think I might even quit blogging, I have a morning like I had yesterday. For no particular circumstance or reason I could think of, I felt bouyant. I didn’t walk, I floated. I said, “Good Morning” to most everyone I saw and I really felt it. I looked in their eyes and I saw that my joy ignited something in them. It was infectious.

I call this feeling resting in God’s sweet spot. The Bible defines it as the “Hope” that lies within us. Hope with a capital “H.” He gives me those days, those moments when I least expect them, and that’s when I know that there is no possible way I could ever stop writing about it. The Bible says always be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within us. This hope is what the world needs more than ever “………but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 1 Peter 3:15

When you are awash in gratitude you want to tell everyone why; so much so that you can’t keep it from flowing through your fingertips. It’s a natural reaction of the hope that comes from the assurance of knowing that ultimately, it’s Grace that will lead you home. Nothing can replace that sweetness. That hope gives way to torrents of gratitude that become the backdrop of a life walking hand in hand with our Savior.

As I went down to get coffee I thought, here I am all these years later in this good job where God has placed me when I had no clue what to do with my future. A small town girl with no degree who long ago had her life drastically rearranged by sorrow has now been here 18 years. All those times when I had to duck into the bathroom stall to pray, to even get in the door, he heard me.

It’s amazing how He’s provided for me. Even when I made bad decisions……veered wildly off His path, given way to fear, despair and worry. All along the way, He has been by my side. He has taken those little seeds of faith and watered them with my tears along His own mixed in and grown a garden path thats vibrant and rich.

It’s only with a little bit of distance that we can see that our road has truly been paved with grace. And it’s that grace that will lead us Home.

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It’s the fruit that the Apostle Paul talked about, the fruit we reap if we don’t weary and the knowledge that none of heartaches were in vain and that to your surprise is the knowledge that you’ve overcome the world right along with Jesus.

And He’s given me a best friend to laugh with, share with, walk along this path so I don’t have to go it alone. Someone whose own life has been paved with grace as well. The Bible places a high value on Godly friendship:

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (or sister). Proverbs 18:24

I am feeling this grace today, friends and I want to share it with you. Call upon the Lord today, and begin your day with gratitude. Before you know it, the counting with become a way of life that will stay with you no matter the circumstance.

 

A walk before sunrise……..

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This morning I walked in the Holy hush of pre-dawn light before the fingers of the sun had yet to reach over the top of the Superstitions. A silent witness to the earth’s preparations, I was not a participant, only a watchful observer.

I saw newspapers shrouded in their wrappers……words waiting to be read over coffee or tea, dead words in their plastic shrouds. Life is out here, where I walked.

I passed Mama dove where she sat tucked in her nest inside the cactus, fluffy eyelids still closed in slumber. It was still too early even for her.

I passed the house with the big pickup truck that barely fits in the driveway and saw a cat sitting like a sentinel. A man approached with a dog on a leash and I wondered why the cat didn’t run…..the dog didn’t bark.

He saw me looking and exclaimed, “He usually comes with us, this time he didn’t want to.” I smiled and walked on. Rounding the next corner I saw hummingbirds already busy, hovering from blossom to blossom like little jettisons.

One paused to light on a branch and I called to him softly. There he was, so very small and yet what a contribution he made to my walk, what a presence.

Further on, I was treated to a flowering cactus with large trumpet like blooms……the bees too were wide awake. And all this before dawn……

As I made the turn down my street, the sun was a gold blaze shimmering behind the mountain, announcing her presence. The call of a quail came from a nearby rooftop…..rooster of the desert.

I thought that this too, even this quiet walking can be a form of worship, a form of prayer. All this walking, and watching and noticing is me agreeing with God that it’s all good.

All before dawn.

Elaine

I’ve never thought about how it would feel to have a Birthday on Memorial Day but she takes it in stride, happy for a day to celebrate both. Last night as we were watching the Memorial Day concert hearing about all those tearful testimonials, she looked over as I grabbed yet another tissue and said, “They died, you know…..so we could be here, doing this, enjoying life, being free.” Yes…..they did. So today as we celebrate them, I will also celebrate my best friend whose Birthday it is today.

She hasn’t had an easy week. The school schedule was crazy and she stayed late helping another lady with her bus at the end of the shift. By the time the day was over she was fatigued and ready for it to end, but then the care home called and she went by to check in on her Mom and ended up staying there for 3 hours, and taking she and one of the aides out to dinner. A long story goes with it but suffice it to say, by the time she got home she was spent.

My friend, Elaine spends a lot of time sacrificing for others. She may not be in the military, but she gets up each day with her boots laced and polished, as ready as any person in combat has to do. The fight or flight instinct kicks in early when you grow up with an abusive older brother and that never really goes away.

Even so, somehow she remained ever joyful, ever hopeful for things to change. She was the kid who got to know all the neighbors and did their lawns in the summer.

Much was expected and not much was returned and yet she is one of the most positive people I know and the most fun to be around. She’s one of those people who bring a party wherever she goes. If she’s in a room, you know it by the laughter that erupts soon after. She truly is a people person, and they know it.

Strangers tell her things and old people and kids gravitate towards her. Every Thanksgiving she ends up helping some older lady pick a Turkey out of the bin.

This kind of thing happens all the time. I will ask her about someone she talked to for 15 minutes and she will tell me all these incredible details about their life, in addition to what kind, make, color of car they drive, how many kids they have and what illness or heartache they are currently dealing with. And she doesn’t even pry, they just tell her voluntarily. She has one of those faces you trust.

She is a truly unique individual and I mean that in the best possible way. She is a fixer of people and things and she never likes to throw anything away if it can possibly be salvaged. She is always saying, “I can fix that.”

And usually always, she can.

So today, it’s a privilege for me to celebrate her life and her Birthday. She may not have ever been in the military, but she has fought many battles and won. And my wish for her today is that she would see herself how God sees her and know just how much He loves her and celebrates her too!

Happy Birthday, Elaine. You are a blessing to all who know you.

No theology in this post, just joy

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Allow me to paraphrase a little from Song of Solomon……….For, lo, the summer is past, the rain is over and gone; The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away……..

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He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me is love………

Today for the first time in a very long time…..about 5 months to be exact, it was blissfully cool. Yesterday was a wondrous day, the garden was restructured and two new tomato bushes are planted, and a few herbs are settled in their corner along with the smiling gnome holding the skateboard.

We feel born again, again.

It happens this way every year, and every year, after the relentless scorch of the long summer we all come out to play. Everyone feels like a kid again. Windows are thrown open and screen doors welcome the fresh cool breeze that rejuvenates our sealed tombs that too long have held in the regurgitated refrigerated air that we are oh-so-thankful for, otherwise we would never survive.

Now, Lowes, and Home Depot liven up……..this is our unique brand of fall, petunias right along with the Christmas displays. Ah, this is the Arizona desert, the way we do autumn.

My Autumn colors show up on the inside, around my windows in swags of orange, yellow and red.

And on the door.

Soon we will welcome all our winter visitors back from beautiful places like Canada, Michigan, and the Dakotas.

Outside, I will set around some Mums and in the front, I will plant pansies.

This rapture causes the windows of joy to be throw open in our hearts because we know that we can once again we can visit God outside in the wide open spaces, on the trails, on our patios…….we expand our boundaries once again.

We barbeque and eat outside and once the desert chill hits, we sit around the fire outside under the stars.

Today, I opened every window in the house and made muffins. The cats, catching my enthusiasm, ran through the house, not knowing how to act with open windows, they keep going from one to the other. Not being able to make up their minds, I feel the same way. I want to do everything at once.

The gaggle of quail has been coming though all morning, along with the doves and cactus wrens and brown thrashers…….and of course, the pigeons too.

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And today, I am counting it all joy.

Scripture passages from Song of Solomon Chapter 2, the italicized words are mine. 

It’s God who gave the nod

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I was going to say something about how time is washed away like the water washes the sand back out to sea but that was just too Hallmark. Nothing against Hallmark mind you,  I love the movies, the stores and the cards. However, now that I have planted that seed, I will let the picture do a much better job than my words could anyway.

What can I say? It’s my Birthday and I liked the picture.

My day dawned happy. I already had Facebook posts and cards at 4:30 AM and a best friend who got up bleary eyed just to wish me a happy day and give me a Birthday hug. How cool is that? The cats just wanted food, but I gave them hugs too and asked if they had their party hats ready for tonight. I think they rolled their eyes.

And even though the freeway detour put me late to work. I sensed the Lord smiling on me as the sky sped past above my moonroof. It looked like Rafael was painting from Heaven.

On that detour I saw things I wouldn’t have ordinarily seen; a man walking his dog, stumbling in the dark. I saw country houses still asleep and I was grateful for the detour signs which were clear.  I am one of those directionally challenged people for whom everything presents itself in a dramatically different way in the dark.

My heart was fairly bursting with the joy of the Lord and this was my overwhelming thought:

That it wasn’t just my parents who brought me here to this place, it was God who gave the nod. It’s God who packaged my particular brand of DNA and yours too. I am here because He wanted me.

How can I not feel overwhelming gratitude?

This past year has had a fair amount of sadness and stress, like every year, but the joys have far outweighed it. People in our life have met eternity, and some have moved and found new homes. Old things were sold to make way for new lives, new starts. New hopes and dreams.

I was able to help my best friend through some very difficult moments and celebrate victories and sit on the beach once again and eat seafood until we couldn’t hold anymore. And in the backdrop of most every moment we were able to laugh.

There were several hospital trips and I was there to feed my brother ice-chips and rub his feet on two occasions, and I was there when he collapsed in the emergency room. God worked that out. I think back to when we were in our teens and I think how everything changes once you get older. You become people to each other. Friends instead of siblings.

I spent cherished time walking around the lake with my Dad and I was able sit and hold my Mom’s hand as we watched TV on the couch. I got to see Lauryn start another year of school.

I am thankful today that they are all together this weekend at home and not in hospitals.

Today, I think of the time I have spent and the time I have left. I have been given a little snippet of time here on earth and etenity stretches before me and it’s more real now than ever.

And even if I never get to see all the wonderful places I want to see on this earth, I have eternity in my back pocket. And that is something I never take for granted.

I get a little goofy about Birthdays, I admit. But that’s something about me that will never change, no matter what.

It’s because I have been given a gift, we all have. And one more year is another year of gratitude for what He’s done for me. And if I am breathing and living, I owe something to Jesus.

And when it all comes down to it, it’s people that matter. Every vacation, every emergency, everyday, it’s the memory of the time spent together that makes it all worthwhile.

So enjoy my day, my friends. Treasure it and tomorrow too.

And keep those you love close.

 

 

A moment in the grass

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When do we lose it? I thought this as I lay back in the grass, with not a little trepidation beforehand. We were all in my brother’s backyard and it was three-way catch sitting on the ground. All at once, Lauryn lay flat on the ground and insisted we do the same. It was part of the game. Of course Grandpa did it right away. Squeamish Aunt Lori was more hesitant. I was thinking about the big pile of dog doo I had cleaned up back there the day before.

She patted the ground and smiled. Insisting again that I join in the game. And I did. How could I resist that smile? Laying there in that grass, I actually thought I heard it say something. I heard the grass talk. It has a voice if you listen, and kids hear that stuff. As adults we are too far off the ground to hear it, in more ways than one. Laying in that grass, with birdsong and her laughter in the background, I thought. “This is a moment I will always remember.”

Slices of life,  of time. Some of them indelible in our minds, others pass by without notice. Sometimes the biggest things are learned in the smallest actions.

It’s time to remember how it was to see a hill and immediately roll down it. It’s time to run through sprinklers. It’s time to be excited about life. That’s one of the best ways I know to let others know you know the author of Life. Some say we will know Christians by their love, and that certainly should be one of the first things people notice. I say another is:

They will know us by our joy.  

It is a by-product of knowing Jesus. And no matter what happens in life, no matter what is going on. Joy should be your backdrop. Absurd joy in absurd moments. It always takes me by surprise when it happens to me, but it really shouldn’t.

It’s why Paul and Silas were able to sing in jail.  And why David could write a song of praise even when he was running for his life.

Join me today, won’t you? Do something kid-like. And encourage someone else to do the same.

1 Peter 1:8-9 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.