Grace moments

What can it possibly mean?

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I woke early this morning and it was cold. Cold for here anyway. Wrapping myself in the huge robe guaranteed to ward off any chill, I slogged out the door in my slippers to look at the temperature which read 46 degrees. All you people in the snow, I don’t know how you do it. I wimped out of praying in my usual spot out in the shop. I came back inside and settled back in my easy chair and turned the heat up. I felt a momentary sadness knowing that tomorrow I would be spending Christmas at work, but that sadness was fleeting.

On December 26 all the frenzy will be over, but Christ will remain, big as life. As I gaze figuratively at the face of the babe in the manger, I ask myself all over again what it really means. This God coming to earth. Who can possibly understand that kind of love? Who can truly grasp it? The love of a God who would voluntarily come down here to this planet rife with turbulence and every kind of heartache and sin.

How can I feel anything but unbridled joy, knowing He would do that for me? For you?

What it means for us Christians is that we pick up our crosses all over again as we do everyday, knowing that He will never expect us to carry as much as He did. My little cross, whatever it is will never lead to Calvary, but ultimately to Heaven. How can it possibly be?

The babe in the manger scares me sometimes to be honest because I look at that baby and I ask myself how my life would change if I really truly believed as I say I do? The manger means hard questions sometimes. Look what it meant for those to whom He came then……..

Mary was afraid.

Joseph wanted to divorce her quietly.

The Shepherd’s were shaking in their sandals on that night.

Herod was so threatened he murdered all first-born babies up to two years old.

The wise men journeyed hundreds of miles just to worship Him.

As I sit here in my chair pondering all this, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving for a God that would love so much that He would risk it all, knowing we might still push Him away.

Every light is lit and the tree casts a glow that fills the room. Even these two old cats have caught my joy. They have turned into kittens momentarily, playing tag and dashing back and forth. I smile at their play as I opened to my devotional and read these words:

Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
 Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You turn people back to dust,
    saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
A thousand years in your sight
    are like a day that has just gone by,
    or like a watch in the night.

Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
    they are like the new grass of the morning:
 In the morning it springs up new,
    but by evening it is dry and withered.

Psalm 90: 1-6

The question remains: What can it possibly mean? To me it means saying yes all over again. Sometimes it’s a feeble yes, sometimes a shaky yes. But it’s always a yes.

Merry Christmas from Lori’s Prayer Closet. I pray you know the joy of the Savior today.

The Best Gift You Can Give

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They watched from a small distance as kids and parents alike ran up with gifts…..little wrapped packages and decorative bags with fancy bows, plates of homeade cookies; all to show their appreciation for what she does for them everyday,  but mostly for who she is to them.

She’s not just the person who drives their school bus, she’s also  their friend. Oh, she makes them mind the rules of the bus, but she also makes it fun. She’s the one who will listen to what they say when it seems everyone else is too busy or doesn’t care.

She makes every ride to school an adventure, some days they’re an airplane, some days a cruise ship, some days she lets them choose. She will tell you all about the rewards and challenges of working with kids of all ages on a daily basis. Sometimes it just about wrenches her heart in two to see what hardships some of “the least of these” go through in their young lives.

He stepped forward first, the boy in the shadows. As one of several foster kids, his life has not been easy. He held up a colored string, on the end of which he had tied a tiny puff ball, the kind you might use to make a craft project. He said, “Miss Elaine, ths is all I have to give you.” It was all she could not to burst into tears right there.

Then the next two gifts, a multi-colored eraser with a slightly used corner and a little pink bouncy ball, the kind you get from the 25 cent machine in the grocery stores. She said, “My Mom says we don’t have any money.” Oh the burdens these kids carry. She hears them all on the way to and from school. Sometimes she wishes she didn’t.

Another child came and presenter her with a bag, in it were two candles. Well, turns out there were supposed to be three but he held onto the third one all day. At the end of the day, he presented her with it. It smelled like sugar cookies. He might have thought of keeping it himself and maybe his conscience made him give it up. Maybe it was his sister who caught him.

These kids teach us what we sometimes forget, that the best thing you can give is sometimes all you have. Jesus is impressed with that. Just like that day in the temple when He saw the widow drop those two lowly coins in the offering box. He looked at His disciples aghast and astounded by her faith and generousity.

Those three humble gifts that are now prominantly placed where they will never be forgotten. In the stable, by the infant King. I hope I will always remember it when I go to place my “excess” in the offering. And most importantly that I remember the most important lesson of all, that He doesn’t need or want my money, He wants my heart.

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What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

Christina Rossetti

Resting in the Unrest

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 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
 I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:1-6

I have been trying to write this post for a week now but time has been scarce. For some reason, it seems to march on even faster once December comes. We seek the quiet moments and they seem few and far between, and sometimes you just have to insist on them. This morning I fired up my heater in the shop and lit my little tree and I reveled in that magic moment when dawn just begins to color the earth. I thanked God for the knowledge that He hears me from His place of unapproachable light. He longs to hear our words, friends. As the candle flickered in the lantern on top of the roll around tool box, I keenly felt His presence.

Then I thought, celebrating Christmas really does set the tone for the rest of the year. And it’s not the gifts or the rushing around. It’s certainly not the road rage. It’s those unexpected moments that drop down when we least expect it. It’s your eyes welling up with tears when you listened to a Christmas song for the umpteenth time but this time you really felt it.

It’s going to a High School play watching kids act out “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It’s seeing that one kid beam with joy when he sees you there, knowing you’d come because you gave your word. How grateful I am to have a best friend who keeps promises to kids. It was well worth skipping the gym to go along because I ended up blessed. God loves to break us out of our little routines sometimes in order to give us something better.

Christmas is looking for those moments, having the faith that God will show up when He’s meant to. Even when things seem bleak and uncertain. For the world is just about as chaotic as it’s ever been, and I don’t think anyone would argue with that. The world needs Jesus now just as much as the first time He came. I think of the heartache and suffering just in my own little circle of friends and family.

Elaine’s Mom stands in the bathroom of the Alzheimer’s care-home and asks where the bathroom is and she asks, how long Lord?

Another friend had a bad fall. She’s been the caretaker of her husband for many years and now she is laid up. She asks how long, Lord? I could go on and on, but I won’t. I know you probably ask the same question. Feel the Psalmists words, they just might echo your own…..

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me? Psalms 13:1,2

But look at how he ends the Psalm…….read the verse at the top again. That’s the answer my friends. That’s the victory and hope that we have as believers. We know that He will indeed show up, as He has every time in the past. Hope is the brilliant backdrop of our lives. When we look back at all our times of deliverance, our hearts overflow with gratitude, even in the midst of tears.

At Christmas, we wait in expectation for God to show up among the living, breathing hours of our days. And remembering that He already did, and continues to show up day after day. Year after year. Look for those moments, my friends. Collect them like snowflakes on your sleeve, each one is different, each one is a miracle.

Snowflake

Time to wake up.

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Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.……Romans 13:11

And each day we wake up it will be even closer. It’s so easy to be filled with dread looking at the news. Looking around, it might be easy to forget that Jesus already won the victory over this place, but He did. Each day we wake up we have another opportunity to wake up in the newness of remembering that victory, or wallowing in the defeat we see in the world. No doubt, events in the world are daunting today. Sometimes we get numb in the face of it all. Desensitized. How else can we deal with it? We can’t stop living after all.

But there is one thing we can do. We can wake up to our victory.

Sometimes awakening to the victory around us is as simple as fighting the battle in our own minds. Sometimes it’s as simple as putting on some Praise music with great lyrics…..before we know it we are moving about, going forward with our day, brimming with the joy we found elusive just an hour ago. You see, we are in the daily Presence of a King who sits on the throne. The one in our hearts, and the one in Heaven. We don’t serve a dead King but a risen Savior. When we take in His words, He rejoices with us!

While Easter is all about remembering that victory and looking forward to a glorious future. Christmas is about remembering how He came to an earth riddled with strife, violence and political unrest, just like it is today. He came as Prince of Peace. He came as what the world needed most, but most didn’t recognize Him then either. That didn’t stop Him from doing what He came to do.

One of the best scenes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy (in my opinion) was when Gandalf, Aragorn and company arrive in Edoras to summon help from King Theoden. They find him slumped on his throne, a shadow of the King he has once been due to listening to the dark words of defeat whispered by Grima Wormtongue.

Gandalf faces down ‘ol Wormtongue and, then a spiritual battle ensues where Gandalf throws the spirit of Saruman out of King Theoden. In the film, you see the battle take place in the heart and mind of the King and the resulting transformation  as he rises to answer the summons for help. Gandalf helped him remember who he was.

It’s a stunning piece of work.

The hour is late. Over and over again the Bible tells us to wake up from our slumber.

The hour is late, but it’s still not too late.

“But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you.”  Ephesians 5: 13,14

 

The Table

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Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25

There’s a place I know, maybe you’ve been there too. And centered in that place, there’s something we all gather around regularly though not nearly as much as we used to. If I close my eyes I can hear chairs scraping back and the clink of spoons stirring sugar or cream. I can hear dishes rattling and greetings of welcome. Mind you, it’s not the actual table that makes the magic happen, it’s the incredible women around it. Maybe what you have is a rickety old card table with wobbly legs, or one well used with scars from years of dinners served and children’s crayons gone astray. Maybe it’s even one that’s polished and reserved for the best company. It’s not the table that matters anyway.

What sets this table apart from others is that Jesus is always the guest of honor. And at His table there’s always room for one more. At this table love and grace are served up in healthy portions; they flow as freely as the coffee and tea. At this table you never have to worry about saying the wrong thing. This is a table where Jesus is.  I know it, because I have seen Him there, reflected in the easy laughter and love on each face.

Another thing about this table is that you never have to worry you’ll be given that “look” you know the one I mean, the one I call the “up and down.” I bet you have been the recipient of this a time or too, and yes, sometimes in church. It’s like they’re trying to decide whether you’re suitable enough to join their congregation. No, at this table there is room for imperfection, in fact it is encouraged. More often than not, conversation will flow around what was done wrong during the past week than what was done right.

Sometimes things stay on track and all the questions in the study are answered, but sometimes people get to talking and laughing about something that happened during the week and they only get to question 3. And then, sometimes a deep need is sensed and someone has an opportunity to unload the burden they walked in  with. Here at this table, a hurting soul is never ignored and burdens carried in need never be carried out.

When we hold our heartaches and cares up to the Light in prayer together they become small in the shadow of the Cross.

These women I know, and maybe you know them too, are not just church ladies as they might be described somewhere else. These are warriors, Disciples, followers of the Way. They’ve looked death, destruction, illness, and heartache in the face and haven’t backed down. They take risks and are not afraid to go out into their world to take the love of God to others. They knock on the doors of strangers because that’s what Jesus would have them do.

They are the backbones of their families, often putting themselves last and thinking nothing of it. They are far from perfect and will be the first to tell you that, but they’ll also tell you about their Father who is.

This table is a place where for an hour or so a week, Heaven touches down to earth and no one leaves quite the same as when they came in. And no one ever goes away empty.

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This post is dedicated to my Mom’s Bible study, those faithful ladies, all of whom I am honored to call my friends, my sisters. I love you all and I love you Mom for introducing me to women’s Bible studies and the tables past and present. They will remain with me forever. This post is also dedicated to strong women everywhere who carry the love of Christ wherever they go, no matter what the cost. Jesus loves you and is honored by your lives the way He always honored women when He was down here on earth. I don’t think it was an accident that He chose Mary to be the first to see Him after the resurrection. He values you and me!

Enter into Sabbath rest

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And on the Sabbath day we went outside the gate to the riverside, where we supposed there was a place of prayer, and we sat down and spoke to the women who had come together. A woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple fabrics, a worshiper of God, was listening; and the Lord opened her heart to respond to the things spoken by Paul. And when she and her household had been baptized, she urged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house and stay.” And she prevailed upon us. Acts 16:13-15

I love the imagery of this verse……I like to think of Paul and Timothy and that group of women praying by the river. And Lydia, a well to do successful business woman, who was receiving those words into her heart. I think of how the Holy Spirit forbade Paul and Timothy to go all those other places but that He sent them there, to Macedonia. And that He chose a woman, Lydia, to be the first convert in Europe.

This morning as my fingers fly over the keyboards…….I pause every now and again to meditate and let my words fall where they may.

Pandora is playing Holy, Holy, Holy by David Nevue in the background. And it is Holy here in this place.

In my quiet place today, I read of where Elijah was taken up to Heaven in the Chariots of Fire, and Elisha, the farmer who took his place performing miracles, healing the Shunammite woman’s son. The son she never thought she would have. She was a wealthy woman too, and offered Elijah food whenever he passed by there. She even went to far as to fix him up a little guest room.

Can you imagine fixing up a guest room for Elijah??

We are rich, my friends. We have all these people, these heroes of the faith. They are all our relatives. These are our heritage, our Heavenly family. And someday in the future, we will all sit by the River of Life basking in the glow of the Lamb, looking forward to a future we could scarcely imagine while here on earth.

I leave you to your own meditation now…………and wherever your feet may take you today, I hope you take your Sabbath rest along with you. Thank God for the week you just passed through, knowing those burdens are behind you. Breathe deep, take in the Peace that passes understanding. We rest in Grace my friends.

I leave you with this little poem by Hafiz, which I just discovered in my travels along the internet.

Once a young woman said to me, “Hafiz, what

is the sign of someone who knows God?”

I became very quiet, and looked deep into her

eyes, then replied

“My dear, they have dropped the knife. Someone

who knows God has dropped the cruel knife

that most so often use upon their tender self

and others.”

The Miracle of Belief

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I live and move and believe in a state of Grace, each day. The fact that I believe is a testimony to God’s great mercy and each day I am awed and greatly humbled by that fact. What makes one person believe and strive to live out a faith and another not give it a thought? I have always thought that people usually die just the way they lived unless a miracle happens. We are all born under the same stars but under many different sets of circumstances. I have seen people make it out of unbearable conditions of life and come to belief in God and salvation in Jesus. And I have seen others with seemingly every opportunity crash right through life, leaving all kinds of destruction in their wake and not ever look up and the sky and wonder “who put all that there.”

It’s amazing really.

We went to visit Joyce at the Care Facility yesterday, and it’s always a grim reminder of mortality. Two ladies were sitting out in the patio in 100 hundred plus degrees puffing away on their cigarettes. Both their lips were moving, cigarettes bobbing up and down, spilling ash as they talked. There but for the grace go any of us……….I always find myself praying a lot when I go there and the prayer is just under my breath………”Oh dear Jesus don’t let me live this long.” What I really mean is, “Don’t let me end up in a place like this.” It’s tough to visit, and I can imagine it’s tough to work there too.

But Joyce is blessed, she has a good daughter, a Grace-filled light in the window to come bring her treats, to do things for her that otherwise don’t seem to get done. It’s hard to visit because there is not much conversation to be had anymore, but this is the tough part of a real and living faith.

Who is your light in the window today? We all need to recognize these gifts from God and look up awestruck and thank Him each and every day. His gifts come in all different forms. I pray that I will always be able to see what’s standing right in front of me as His grace…….His love……His mercy.

I have recently restarted Frederick Buechner’s “Listening to Your Life” again. It is a gem of a book……I don’t know how many times I have read through it, but each time I pick it up again I find I’m reading it with new eyes. He is one of the writers I reach for when my feelings are too deep for my own measly words.

Add to that list, Thomas Merton, Henry Nouwen and C.S. Lewis.

A final thought from today’s devotional:

“The idea of the immortality of the soul is based on the experience of man’s indomitable spirit. The idea of the resurrection of the body is based on the experience of God’s unspeakable love.” Frederich Buechner, Sept 2, Listening to Your Life

We are all hurtling toward either Heaven or hell. Jesus said that, not me. Each day there is a new chance to change your direction. “You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God.” Hebrews 3:13

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I give you Buechner……I give you today.

 

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Reading from the devotional book, “Listening to Your Life” by Frederick Buechner:

September 1

It is a moment of light surrounded on all sides with darkness and oblivion. In the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history there has never been another just like it and there will never be another just like it again. It is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. It is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until your death. If you were aware of how precious it is, you could hardly live through it.  Unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all.

“This is the day that The Lord has made,” say the 118th Psalm. “Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Or weep and be sad in it for that matter. The point is to see it for what it is because it will be gone before you know it. If you waste it, it is your life that you’re wasting. If you look the other way, it may be the moment you’ve been waiting for always that you’re missing.

All other days have either disappeared into darkness and oblivion or not yet emerged from them. Today is the only day there is.

Whew…..few writers like that guy. Even when capturing the beauty of the moment, he comes off a little fatalistic, but then again, life is pretty fatalistic. The point is to treasure each day as if it’s the only one you have, for it just may be, and then eternity awaits. Embrace the joy of this new day, because there is always reason to hope…..to dance.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
    His faithful love endures forever……….Psalm 118:29

photo taken in Moss Landing, California

 

 

Listening to my life…….

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He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged. Isaiah 42:3

I have abstained from writing about all the current events because I wanted to let my thoughts settle. Listening to all the recent events my mind has felt like an unsettled pond and at the end of a long work week I feel like I can finally take a deep breath and let it settle somewhat. Between the horrific events involving the Islamic militants, Robin Williams, and Ferguson, Mo. it was like my mind just couldn’t keep up. There were plenty of other better writers and bloggers editorializing and I didn’t feel like I wanted to throw my voice into the ring. The ring was noisy and crowded and so was my mind.

Sometimes a writer has to know when it’s right to jump into the ring of fire or stay on the perimeter looking in for a while.

Last night we had one of our summer storms that are common for Arizona but never common for me. Storms are natures way of breaking loose, of showing us we are not in control. I went out to the freeway just before it hit and took a few shots and felt rewarded. I found the Superstitions veiled in a cloak of dust and clouds and God’s promise.

On the other side of the overpass, the sun was making her exit amidst the backdrop of clouds………

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When I got home my Dad called, “I was reading Listening to Your Life, he said, do you have it?” I said yes……..then he paused and said, “I wonder if any of us really understands the Bible? We think we do, but sometimes I don’t think we have a clue what it means.” He went on the describe the passage he had read from the entry on February 8 and when I hung up I read it. Here is a partial reading:

When you find something in a human face that calls out to you, not just for help but in some sense for yourself, how far do you go in answering that call, how far can you go, seeing that you have your own life to get on with as much as he has his?

I thought of the sermon by Charles Stanley that I listened to that morning. He was talking about missed opportunities and how many pass us by each day. Then he went on to talk about Peter and how he could easily have said no thank you to Jesus offer to follow Him. After all, he had a livelihood, he had a life, he had a family to support. But something about Jesus made him realize that this offer was not like any other. As a result, Peter is one we recognize as being one of Jesus closest friends and followers. The rock on which the Church was built.

Parallel his life to that of the rich young ruler who had everything. He clung to his life and turned down Jesus’ offer. We never hear what happened to him but the Bible never says anything more about his life.

I believe it pays to listen to those closest to Heaven, children and old people. It pays to listen to your life and those around you. I am listening to mine today as I ask myself how far I am willing to go for Jesus. I give my allotted time and money and sometimes not even that. I don’t always focus on Him while I pray, I miss the Holy moments far too often and I tend to avoid people if I have a choice.

I am that weakest reed, that flickering candle. But my prayer today is “Thank you God, for not letting me go.”

Despite everything, He loves me. He strives with me. He sees me, the girl who gazes on His world with wonder and it makes Him smile that I notice.

God keeps a tally, the scales of justice are in His hands. He’s the one who will set things right ultimately, and that’s a promise. It doesn’t mean we stand back and do nothing, but it does mean that we can’t fix everything. Maybe we just fight the injustice in our own little corners for a start.

As for me, I went as far as that windy street corner up around 120th street and Broadway, and I can see him standing there as in some way he is standing there still. He is alone and making the best of it with his thin, church rummage overcoat flapping around his legs. His one free hand is raised in the air to wave goodbye. It was the last time. “Here and there in the world and now and then in ourselves,” Tillich said, “is a new Creation.” This side of glory, maybe that is the best we can hope for. Frederich Buechner, Listening to Your Life.

To the White Mustang

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I saw the White Mustang fly by us and I knew exactly what he was going to do. We all did. I say “he” but it could have easily been a “she.” It was 5:15 and we were all in line to get on the freeway. We were waiting our turn like all law abiding citizens. The light was green and we had just started to move, when he sped by on the right and butted in line ahead of everyone.

Brake lights flashed, I fumed.

I hit my horn out of frustration and said a prayer that the person behind me was paying attention. They were, thankfully. When we finally got on the freeway the White Mustang screeched around and sped down the fast lane and I wished, I wished I wished……I hoped to see him stopped on the side of the road behind some red and blue flashing lights.

This kind of thing happens everyday. Just like people crowding ahead at the grocery store, or climbing over you at the theater. Rudeness is everywhere. You can’t escape it, but you can choose to deal with it in a healthy way. I don’t know why it got to me this morning. I guess something within us all wants to see someone get what they deserve. We want justice…..but at the same time, we want to escape it ourselves.

We breathe a sigh of relief when we get away with going over the speed limit when we are late for work. We want others to be punished but we want a “get out of jail free card.”

There have been many times where I didn’t get what I deserved, Instead I got a big helping of GRACE.

A little helping of grace goes a long way. And when we extend it to others, we are helping ourselves too. It’s like healing from the inside out. When we offer up God’s grace to others, even in small ways, we offer up the Grace of the Cross.

When we forgive, we become a living testimony because in the physical act of forgiveness we demonstrate that we remember what He did and what He continues to do for us every single day.

Maybe it’s someone else you need to forgive today, or maybe it’s yourself. Whoever it is, take a deep breath and give them a pass. Your heart will love you for it.