Christmas

Breath of life

Scout and Atticus enjoying the rain on the windows and bird watching.

I used to have a vibrant prayer life, I don’t know why it used to be easy to pray and now it isn’t. But praise? That has always been an easy thing for me to do. It’s a gift I’ve been given, not anything I did on my own. In the half-light, I thought of David and remember thinking, still mostly asleep, “he wrote himself comfort.” He wrote himself (or I should say prayed out) because really, before they were words, they were prayers. As I lay there reciting some Psalms I know by heart I fell into the most delicious of sleeps. I awoke later more refreshed than I have been for quite a while. I don’t have a lot of Scripture memorized but what I do has been so valuable during times before I fall asleep, or times of stress.

I awoke this morning the first time at around 6. It was dark and I heard the gentle patter of rain outside. My first words were “thank you God for the new day, let everything that has breath praise the Lord, squirrels, chipmunks, cows, chickens.” I don’t know why I thought of those particular animals, but I did. I guess because I thought of this crazy squirrel that we almost hit yesterday. I swear he went right through the wheels. It was the same road, and I assume the same squirrel I saw yesterday dart out to the middle of the same road and back. It’s a red squirrel and they are kind of crazy, (kind of like a little red cat I know) Not mentioning any names (Scout) we love him so.

Conjuring up the Christmas Spirit is always hit and miss and sometimes elusive. At certain moments throughout the day, it comes whispering in. I bought this book for myself, and I highly recommend it. It’s called “Let the Earth Receive Her King” by Alastair Begg. This is a passage I highlighted that gave me comfort this morning:

Whatever lies in our past or our present, we are never beyond being used by God to further His glorious eternal plan

This is my first Christmas retired, and I heartily recommend it. Not having to go anywhere in the mornings is like a dream. We put the Christmas tree up on the patio because (the kitten factor) and I love looking at the lights through the window as I sit and read. I can actually bake again since I have a real stove so that has been a real joy. Recently, we had our usual brunch at Grand Island Mansion, a treasure of the California Delta. When we were finishing up to leave, I was shocked, pleased and surprised to see my friend Darrell who was best man at my wedding and my husband’s best friend. They had moved to a neighboring state, and I hadn’t seen them in a few years. It was a great ending to a perfect morning.

It’s been a wonderful Christmas season full of joys, a few moments of melancholy, peace and overwhelming thankfulness for a God who loves us and strives with me each day despite my stubborn nature. Taxes and jury duty and life lurking round the corner but in all these things we are still more than conquerors. (Romans 8:37)

Merry Christmas to all and hope and blessings going forward to the New Year!

Advent

“Give us grace that we may cast away the works of darkness, and put upon us the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which thy son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty, to judge both the quick and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal.” Frederick Buechner

The beginning of Advent always reminds me of how the fog comes in, quietly and beautifully covering all things. Like a poem without words. I used to love walking down to the river when it was foggy. I was so acutely aware of of the sounds. The dripping of moisture from the trees, the birds, especially the geese. You could hear them but not see them until they were directly overhead. When I think of stealthy fog, I remember one particular day laying out on the beach. It was a warm day, and I lay face down on my towel. I fell asleep and when I awoke the coastal fog had drifted in and brought its chill with it. Yet another time, I was alone in my parents’ home around Christmas time. I was playing a rendition of O Holy Night when I can only describe what was clearly a visitation of the Holy Spirit that I will never forget.

Advent is about coming. The definition is: The arrival of a notable person, thing or event. In theology it is the coming or second coming of Christ.

It’s the audacity of a Holy God coming to this lowly, sin-cursed planet to rescue us from ourselves. It’s the incredible wonder all over again that God would love us so much that He would stoop to do such a thing. We can say that God is love all day long, but God’s love is something we must do something with. It’s like a beautiful package under the tree, until we open it, it’s just a pretty thing to look at. God’s love is something that needs action on our part. God did something, now we have to figure out what we are going to do with what He did.

It’s all about choices. And we all have a choice. We can do like the demons do and shudder as they say, “Jesus is Lord.” Or we can go through our whole life pretending we didn’t hear it. That it’s just a nice idea. We can also reject it all together. But as long as we have breath, we have a choice. And God is rooting for us all to choose His plan of Salvation.

“The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9

Advent is where once again we turn toward the light, the Miracle that has come into the world. Before time even began, it was already in the works. That God would come to draw us to himself in hopes that we would turn towards him once again. Each day is like a little Advent all over again when we bring Jesus to our lives, our decisions, our joys and sorrows. I am thankful so thankful that I don’t have to walk through this journey of life alone. And thanks be to God, none of us do.

Even so, come Lord Jesus…….

The Weary World Rejoices

 

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“The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn…..” O Holy Night (circa 1847)

Maybe this morning you are reaching for the hope of that “new and glorious morn” the song speaks about. Maybe for you it is nothing but a song lyric, or a hope so distant you can barely see it through the weight of your present circumstances. The world Jesus came into was certainly weary, no different than today. I see just how weary as I pass the homeless each day, making camps wherever they can out in the cold. I even see it in the eyes of shoppers who get to go back to their warm houses after the mall. I see it in the gratefulness of the elderly whom I deliver meals to each day.

I slogged and shivered my way down to the river this morning juggling cups and a spare tank of propane for the heater. I settled in my chair and my breath puffed out warm into the cold air and I promptly spilled hot coffee all over my robe. I barely felt it. My morning prayer routine here is a bit different. Used to be, I took about 5 steps out the front door into my little shop. Here it’s a little walk and I bump into several things getting ready in the motorhome before I head out the door. The neighbor cat greets me at the end of the step. We have started feeding she and her brother since he is seldom home.

Walking along, I was pondering several things. There are many things I don’t know the answer to. I don’t know why I thought I would feel perfectly settled here, since I don’t feel any more settled here than I did in Arizona. I thought I would be able to make things better for my folks, but it turns out I can’t fix the fact that they are growing older. I can’t make them young again and able to do all the things they did before.

I also don’t know why it is that I am smack dap in the middle of all this beauty and it doesn’t seem to penetrate my heart. Nature has always been somewhat of a cure for me, and the fact that it’s not the healing balm it usually is has me unsettled. But here’s the thing about God, Christmas, Advent and the hope that it brings. I don’t need to know all the answers. I really don’t need to know any answers except Christ and Him crucified.

And when I came to you, brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God. 1 Corinthians 2

So, turns out I can’t fix broken situations or people, or even myself, but I can hope and trust in the One who can. This is what real faith is. It means that someday I will know the answers to these questions if God in His own good time reveals them to me. And if He doesn’t, that’s okay too. I hope in the One who does know all the answers. Who wasn’t afraid to come down in the weakest form imaginable, and start out knowing nothing. That’s enough for me.

We all have our seasons, the important thing is to keep walking through them with our eyes and our hearts lifted up toward Heaven. Peace be with you all.  I will leave you with another bit of comfort I read down by the river today:

“When the Time Is Right: December 7

There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering. We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources. Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse. It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say “I don’t know,” and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none. While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim. Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever. Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.” Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go.

Advent: The Best Gift

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“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6 

This morning we were surprised by rain yet again. I heard it as I huddled in the candlelight of my increasingly cramped closet. Bags of unwrapped presents are stuffed in corners here and there, but I was snug there in the light of my little tabletop tree. I marveled at the wonderful gift I have had, the past three days off work have been peaceful and stress free. I still have two more left.

Outside, there is a world full of war and by the look of the people in the mall yesterday and the day before, a world full of stress, and expectation, and some debt to go along with it. There is strife and rushing to meet a deadline…..deadlines for decisions, deadlines at work, deadlines to meet Christmas.

But here in this quiet place, I cup my coffee in my hands and I thank Jesus for always bringing me joy in the morning, whatever doubts and worry might visit me in the wee hours of the dark. He always brings me fresh hope. The same hope that was born in that stable so long ago.

He came quietly into the night and settled into our world almost unnoticed, kind of like this little snowflake. There are so many, you see. It’s easy to plow through them when they are all stuck together, but when they separate you notice the hand of the grand Artist at work. The brushstrokes of His genius are everywhere.

But they came embodied all in one little human that night in the stable.

He’s all grown up and back at Home now.

But still giving me all the Hope I need still my time on this earth is finished and He calls me home.

Outside there is a lot going on.

Here not much, just a little hollowed out place He can call His own. Just for a little while longer, I will watch my candle flicker and wait.

A few of my favorite things......

Advent: Who or what is overshadowing you this Christmas?

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Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God.…Luke 1:34,35

So the question remains: Who or what is overshadowing you this Christmas? Have you made way for the Holy Spirit, believing like Mary that God can overshadow your circumstances whatever they are? Are you willing to partner up with God and create a miracle, even in the midst of an ordinary life?

This Advent as in all others, I go back to those supernatural events that happened, and I marvel and wonder right along with Mary. When you think about it, what happened to Mary is what happens to all of us when we become believers. We step out in faith even though we aren’t sure how it’s all gonna work, we know somehow that God will pull it off.

And that is the hope and reality of what Christmas is, that against the dark backdrop of our lives God came in the flesh to flip the switch on the light that no man or circumstance has the power to snuff out.

Too much of my year has been spent in doubt and uncertainty and fear. Too many times I have failed to remember what a Big God I serve. I have forgotten that God has taken up residence in my own temple of this body. In light of that, what event in life could ever eclipse that Light? Thankfully, He knows how weak I am and loves me anyway. Each day I am bowled over by His incredible mercy.

Yesterday morning, the events of the past few weeks finally caught up with me and I had a bit of an insane moment. My Mom falling while I was there and then having Elaine’s Mom die while I was away and knowing she had to deal with that alone, and then being afraid my Mom would fall again or further injure that arm culminated in me attempting to sing all four parts of Handel’s Messiah on my morning commute.

If I had a video of it, it would have gone viral, I am sure. I proceeded to butcher all four parts and screech my way through the Christmas portion. And it was done in love because I have had a passion for that piece of music ever since I can remember.

By the Hallelujah chorus (when the audience traditionally and appropriately stands to its feet) I was in tears.

I was thinking about how the night before I had watched 20/20 and they showed footage of how Isis had gone into these Christian towns and torn down the crosses. I saw the statues topple and the churches desecrated and the Bibles blackened and it sickened me, but then as I listened to the music, I got another vision. That of Christ coming in the clouds.

The first time He came in the weakest, most vulnerable form possible. He died the same way, but He arose victorious and with power. He will come back the same way. And though Mary had to deal with the sorrow of losing her son, she also saw His victory in the end.

And the victory belongs to us all…….and nothing and no one in this life has the power to dim that great hope. Not even death or taxes.

Death has been swallowed up in victory for one more year……….

 

Advent Idea: A Prayer Closet

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“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.  And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.” Matthew 6:6,7

This morning I had to hastily arrange a different place to pray because “someone” has a secret project going on in the shop. First I tried my bedroom…..that didn’t work, it was too open. Then I tried another place in the living room and it didn’t feel right either. E said, “Why don’t you go in your closet?” Well, my closet had become a disaster zone since all the Christmas stuff had come out of hiding. But, as I traipsed from room to room feeling kind of disoriented I pushed open the door and entertained the possibility of my bedroom closet.

First, I got a chair out of what used to be Joyce’s room at the Care Home thinking that might work. I had forgotten they had a dog at the place for a while and there were smells, lots of them  on that chair. Briggs the cat wandered in the wouldn’t leave, those smells on that chair were just too intriguing. Remove chair. Sit on floor.

It was actually kind of cozy in there. I could still hear faint outside noises which I find an agreeable backdrop…..keeps me in touch with what’s going on outside. And when I took this picture I had to smile……the baby doll on the shelf in the background reminded me of the baby Jesus, wrapped in swaddling clothes. Actually, it’s my very own baby blanket that my Mom wanted me to have. It’s the one they wrapped me in on the way out of the hospital. All 3 pounds of me. The doll is a Thumbelina. Those of us in the older range of middle-age will remember who she is. I just Googled her, she still comes up!

Anyway, here is the final result. It works……..

I find that any space will do as long as it provides an atmosphere of peace and quiet where you know you will not be distracted or interrupted.

I have been plagued by distraction and unease lately. I sense a big change coming in my life and my soul is not at rest, so I knew this morning it was expedient that I find a place to pour out my anxiety to the Lord. I realized that on some level I didn’t even want to pray because I didn’t necessarily want to hear what the Lord might place on my heart.

And you know what? That is the time you need prayer the most.

Run to Him friends. He will satisfy your every need and quiet every fear.

The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

Advent: Looking toward the Light

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“The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me],
I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1 AMP 

In the deep dark of morning I was reflecting on the events of the past week trying to fall back asleep when I realized my usual method was failing me. I couldn’t get past the first line of the 23rd Psalm. I think that was exactly what God intended.

Sometimes He doesn’t mean for us to jump ahead when He knows that all we need is right there in the first line……”With God, I have all I need.” Stop. Done. Nothing more to say.

It’s been a season of highs and lows this Advent. How do you keep looking towards the Light when circumstances threaten to snuff out the “Merry and Bright” aspects of the season we celebrate? This has been our challenge this year. On the upside, I got to help put on a wonderful party for my niece, it was her 13th, a big one. Everything and everyone worked, even the Christmas lights, both front and back.

Everyone had a great time, adults and kids alike and the highlight of the night was when one of the floats from the Christmas parade pulled up out front complete with music, animation and hundreds of tiny lights. It was arranged through my brother’s friend and it was wonderful to see everyone coming out of their houses to enjoy it.

The downside was that Elaine’s Mom took a turn for the worse before I left and passed away the week I was away. You can never prepare for that. Death might be swallowed up in victory in Christ, but when it comes to call, we are reminded all over again how wrong it is, how unnatural. How it was never meant to be. My heart hurt for her from miles away and I could do nothing but pray.

Then, as we were all recovering from the Birthday party, my Mom fell outside of CVS Pharmacy. I wasn’t with her but thankfully a friend happened to be there, that part I know was Divine intervention. He drove her home. The following days before I left I was able to go with her to the Doctor for wound care.

And the question we ask over and over again in times like this is, what does His coming mean to us in the here and now moments of life?

The answer still lays in the Manger, and in the fields where the Shepherds were watching their flocks, it thunders from the brilliant sky which was suddenly and miraculously lit up by myriads of Angels.

Over and over again, this is the message we live out:

Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men, with whom He is pleased.” 

We hold on to the One who will never disappoint even when everyone else may, even those we love most. In any and every circumstance this life throws at us, we can have hope in the One who will never disappoint.

That is what we cling to this season and every day. By faith we hold up our heads and continue to put one foot in front of the other. It’s why every morning and every evening I flip the switch that lights up the tree and I plug in every strand of garland that hangs.

Those lights represent a hope, or rather a Who, that can never be extinguished.

Because He came and lives today, we can too.

Advent: The joy of being fully known

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God sees the miraculous beauty of each individual snowflake, just like He sees the miraculous individuality that is you. There is nothing about you that He doesn’t know. Isn’t that what we all want? To be seen and known by those we love most and who we hope loves us most? What could be any better? To be seen and known by the God who created us?

There is no better feeling in the world than to be with someone who knows you so well that you even breathe easier when they’re around. It’s like when they’re around you know that everything will be okay, or they will say something to make it okay.

Jesus came near not to get to know us better, because He already knows us better than anyone. He came so that we might believe more readily in a God who knew what it felt like to be human. To be lonely. To be misunderstood. To feel like no one understands you. To feel like no one really knows or values the real you.  And isn’t it wonderful to know that even if you were betrayed by every last person on this earth, that God would never betray you. Never abandon you.

The beauty of God coming near is that even when trust is broken by someone you gave your heart to, there is always hope for healing if you want it. The Holy Spirit is the binder of anything and everything that is broken. And our great hope in Heaven is that there, we will finally fully know and fully love each other with the perfect love we just can’t seem to master down here.

This Advent, God is calling you to draw near. Enjoy the wonder of having a God who knows you intimately like a favorite well-worn sweater. Wrap His love around you and pour out your grief to One who is well acquainted with it.

Seek healing and comfort in His Presence today.

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT

Advent: Beating back the darkness

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The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.

To think that a baby–one you could physically see and touch–one like any other, totally dependent on another’s care could grow to be our Savior and the Savior of the world. This is the wonder of Advent and it’s ours to ponder yet again…..right along with Mary and Joseph and the dumbstruck Shepherds watching their flocks.

Even more amazing is that much of the world has still rejected that Light when all they have to do is turn and open their eyes and hearts. Even those of us who know and have embraced Him as Savior and Lord are still stumbling around much of the time in darkness. “Come Lord Jesus! Beat back the darkness of this world and calm the storm in each of our hearts!”

If not for Him, this world would be a pretty bleak place.

For the peace that He offers rests in our every difficult circumstance, our every sleepless night…….that is our great hope now and forever, that’s the hope of Advent.

Each light in my home is not to honor Santa or Satan, (as some legalistic hardliners will have you believe), it’s to honor Christ. Each string that bursts forth brilliance and color represents the unapproachable Light that emanates from His throne. Each sparkle on the tree represents the Light that shone, reflecting on each face in the stable that night. Each twinkle reminds me of the Angelic host that stupefied the Shepherds out tending their flocks.

Let’s beat back the darkness this Advent…….our world needs Him like never before. Seek out the quiet moments, listen for the rustle of Angel wings and the sound of a baby crying across the hollow plains, for unto us a child is born, a Savior is given……..And of His reign, their will be no end.

You who bring Good News to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring Good News to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up and do not be afraid. Say to the towns of Judah, Here is your God. Isaiah 40: 9

Imperfect Miracles

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Due to a shortage of headcount in my area, I found myself working on December 25th for the first time in my life. I have to confess, it just felt wrong to be there. And add to that, the area itself was a disaster. The lady I was relieving looked like she had been through a war and at the end of the 12 hours, I felt the same. But enough about me. Having to work on Christmas Day is by no means a hardship, but there was something about driving there on a nearly deserted freeway put me in mind of some people who are struggling this Christmas season.

One by one and then collectively they found their way into my prayers. I prayed that the Lord would give them strength and peace in the midst of everything. I thought of my Mom’s friend whose adult son is extremely ill. She can’t get to see him because she is recovering from a bad fall. She also takes care of her husband who has a bad back and Parkinson’s among other things.

I think of Elaine, who spent part of her Christmas at the Carehome giving her Mom over the counter meds for her flu since the staff can’t do it. Her Mom didn’t know it was Christmas and she kept asking who the robe belonged to, the one she had just unwrapped. What can prepare you for that kind of heartache?

I guess I was thinking about us all. About how the world was when the angels met the Shepherd’s there out in the fields. How when they met those Angels they were so Holy and beautiful they had them shaking in their boots. The world hasn’t really changed a whole lot since then.Not human nature anyway. I thought about how Jesus came to fix a broken world and us along with it. That is, inasmuch as we let Him. 

I thought about this little snowflake and how it almost makes me want to cry. Just the perfect beauty of it. I see where it looks like it’s starting to melt away. And how sometimes we feel like we are melting away too. Like that little snowflake, we are all imperfect, perfect miracles.

Jesus came to this earth so He could seek us out and make us into a miracle that will last for all eternity, but we can’t do it without Him. Nothing we go through down here on earth is ever overlooked or wasted. Even now, He is using everything we go through down here to make us into perfection fit for Heaven. God is never satisfied to leave us how He found us.

All of us are broken and will remain so until He says, “Rise up and walk into your new life with me.” We are all blind until He sticks His mud covered fingers into our eyes and says,”Go and wash in the Pool of Siloam.”

Jesus was born for the broken, the lost, the left behind. He came for this reason, “To seek and save that which was lost.”

I love the story of how He went back to find the leper He had healed. Even now, He is seeking you my friends. He came into this world to find you. To find His lost lambs. Today, He wants to be with you in your heartache and bring you comfort.

‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20

Christmas might be over, but Christ never is. That right there, gives me hope and reason to rejoice in the coming year.

 

Image: Creative Commons. Attribution-NoDerivs License