christianity

Be a bringer of light

Then God said, “Let there be light, and there was light……” in the muck and mire of this world’s mess the way we know it today, there is still and always light. This morning, I was surprised by the crescent moon peeking through the window where I usually see Venus. (She hadn’t come up yet).

I thought, how could someone not believe? How could they just take for granted the moon still hanging there after all these years? Sitting there on this spinning planet, that’s what I thought. And of this verse….

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–His eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20

Everything was perfect. Everything according to God and creation itself, was good, beyond good. In fact, even in our skewed version, dulled and marred by the effects of sin’s corrosion, it is still blindingly beautiful at times. Can you even imagine how it was in the beginning? We are squinting through a keyhole, closing one eye to get a better view. The Bible puts it like this:

“Now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (by God) my paraphrase in parenthesis.

I always look for hearts in creation. Do you see it? God’s love spills over into all creation, us being His very own crown jewel. His love beats throughout all things. It’s so easy, looking around at the chaos we’ve created down here to forget who is truly in control. But we can be assured, God remains on the throne.

Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
    Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
    and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
    and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
23 He brings princes to naught
    and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
24 No sooner are they planted,
    no sooner are they sown,
    no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
    and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff. Isaiah 40: 21-24

If you haven’t yet sensed it, we are in a Spiritual battle that has raged since sin entered the world. And if you don’t believe in the concept of sin, there is not much I can say. The battle is heating up, but we don’t have to fear. We know the outcome and God is in the business of restoring our crumbling creation, and our crumbling souls too if we let Him.

Israel is being persecuted all over the world, such as we never thought we’d see again after World War II. We are seeing history repeating itself, and God is watching. He is waiting for the right time, and prayerfully, we are waiting with Him. The Prophecies have all been fulfilled. All except one. The time is short, as Billy Graham used to say in every sermon:

“Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” 2 Corinthians 6:2


I leave you with hope and the future as it will be someday, from the book of Isaiah…….God is, and always will be in the business of loving, and restoration:

Isaiah 2: 1-4: The word which Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem. Now it will come about that in the last days, the Mountain of the house of the Lord will be established as the chief of the mountains and will be raised above the hills: and all the nations will stream to it. And many peoples will come and say, “Come let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of Jacob; that He may teach us concerning His ways, and that we may walk in His paths.” For the law will go forth from Zion and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. And He will judge between the nations and will render decisions for many peoples; and they will hammer their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, and NEVER again will they learn war.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds mighty good to me about now.

Whom Shall I Send?


Until today I hadn’t been able to turn the calendar off of the 10th. It has felt wrong. I listened to a powerful sermon (click the link) on my walk the other day and it echoed what I was feeling. Our culture has reached a point of no return, and I wonder how we can come back from this. There was a visible line stepped over when a large part of our culture celebrated the death of a good man. It was stepped over when a man was brutally murdered in front of thousands for simply trying to bring our youth together despite their differences. We saw pure evil, pure hatred unmasked before our eyes, and we can no longer afford to look away. As a Church, what are we going to do? Can we remain silent? Complacent as we have been for so long?

Charlie Kirk’s life purpose and message were simple. To put God first in everything we do and follow the path layed out for us in Scripture. He put himself out there, as Jesus commanded us all to do in the Great Commission. And evil doesn’t like the truth, it never has. All the enemy knows how to deal with the truth is to silence it however it can.

Or twist it. As Satan did in the Garden long ago.

The evil we saw on full display cannot be contained in that one shooter. He was just carrying out Satan’s bidding, though he may not even have known it. And God’s mercy could still reach him; I pray it does. Eternity is long. And I know Charlie would have been thrilled for him to find Jesus.

Charlie wanted more than anything for young conservatives to have a voice, but he also encouraged those who disagreed most vehemently to come to the front of the line. Charlie had a passion for reaching our youth, many of whom are floundering, with no moral compass. He believed open dialogue was a key factor in bringing people, all people together. This is what he said so often:

"When people stop talking, that's when you get violence. That's when civil war happens."

Dr. Martin Luther King and Charlie Kirk had one thing in common. One wanted the laws of our land to reflect equality for all the races in keeping with our own constitution. Another wanted kids of all opinions to have an equal voice on college campuses and in life. Also, in keeping with our constitution.

Even so, I believe this horrible event has sparked a revival in our country. Just today, I heard a mom say that she is attending church for the first time. She said her kids have been asking, and today she made the choice to go, even though she was unsure what to expect. Just today I heard another one. And yesterday, at the memorial 60,000 heard the Gospel, I’m sure many of them for the first time. One after another, our government leaders got up and delivered messages that sounded more like sermons that speeches.

Our country began to lose its way when we began to believe that our rights came from the Government instead of God. When a country loses its moral compass, it begins to die from the inside out. But the way back to life can start from the inside of all of us individually through the Holy Spirit and the Church once again taking a stand on moral issues.

Charlie’s message on a college campus wouldn’t even have made a stir in the 1960s, I would even go so far as to say the 1970s. It simply wouldn’t have been controversial. The values most of us grew up with then were still intact by and large. I have said this before, when I was in High School (in California no less) in the 70’s, we sang hymns in school. Nobody thought a thing about it. We loved our Rock and Roll, Frampton, Boston and Fleetwood Mac, but we also knew there was respect for faith and room for freedom of expression.

In our postmodern world, what once was taken for granted as a way of life by most people, is now considered radical by many, especially by our youth.

So where do we go from here? We each pick up our crosses. We pray. We dig deep into the word which is our Spiritual life blood. We keep going. Most importantly we don’t back down from speaking the truth, and more importantly living it. Charlie listened to God’s call and obeyed. I don’t know about you, but not many of us would put up a table in a hostile environment and invite dialogue if we knew we would face certain harassment, death threats, and finally death itself. But each of us can walk the walk Jesus has prepared for us with His help.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

Breath of Heaven

Another of God’s little miracles

Morning Visitors

I welcome the cool breezes

thinking you do too….


I remember Arizona, walking outside on the first day after a long relentless summer and being surprised by relief. No one knows that except someone that has been through as least one year in the desert. We’ve had a short heat wave here but nothing like those days. To us it’s nothing, for we have the hope of the delta breezes and relief at night. You wouldn’t think I would miss it, and I don’t miss that parts of it. The magic of the desert did a number on my heart and soul that stays with me. It was so easy to see God in the sky, in the storms, in the backdrop of the Superstition Mountains as I came home after a long 12-hour shift.

I got to visit a really unique property yesterday, acres of wide-open spaces and views galore. I miss seeing the sky. I remember my Dad commenting on how much sky you can see in the desert when he came to visit. I didn’t think too much about it until we moved back to tree land. “Dirty nasty trees” is what Elaine calls them. (Using her best Gollum voice) Hence the sap that has settled on my car due to parking downtown last night. Oh well, everywhere has its drawbacks. I did enjoy seeing the bees on our crepe myrtle this morning. Something about watching them go from bloom to bloom reinforces the fact that all is not lost. There are still bees left.

Sometimes I get so sick of all the endless garbage strewn across the interweb. So much of it is brain-rot but then you run across something truly refreshing. Here it is….https://annekennedy.substack.com/p/jen-hatmaker-and-jesus

I remember when all the women (and some men) bloggers were jumping on Jen Hatmaker’s bandwagon. I never understood it, and I was skeptical. I won’t say anything about it since Anne says it so much better than I could but give it a read. And enjoy your Sunday. Go to church, and if you don’t have one find one. And don’t try to find a perfect one so don’t try. I have found that I ruin every perfect church I find. The most important thing is that you hear about God there and that they preach out of His book.

In the meantime, I will try to find another chair, Atticus claimed mine when I got up.

Beyond the Nails

Morning walk: My feet pounded a rhythm on the sidewalk and my mind at last freed itself from the usual bondage of useless thoughts. They come unbidden and unwelcome, springing from nowhere land, either from the murky depths of the past or from the distant future of worry land. I guess it’s normal, this overactive thinking. Writers have a term for it, it’s called “Monkey Mind.” It’s a Buddhist term describing a restless, unsettled, and easily distracted mind that jumps from thought to thought, similar to a monkey swinging from branch to branch. When you are sitting down to a creative task or even minding your business going about your day, these are the negative, deflating, harmful and useless thoughts that drive us to distraction.

For me, walking is a great way to quiet the “Monkey Mind.” I release my mind and start to observe things. Flowers, tree branches against the blue sky, Mothers wheeling strollers, people doing outdoor tasks. Much of the time I simply pray and thank God for everything under the sun. Today I was listening to “What a Beautiful Name it is” by Hillsong Worship. I started to sing along softly, and I got a vision of Jesus at the dawn of Creation. I thought of them, Father, Son and the Holy Spirit (they were all there) but it was Jesus I thought of. I love animals and nature, so I thought of Jesus creating something and then saying, “Just wait until Lori sees this!” It was so personal. I caught His excitement and then thought of all He had to go through, knowing how we would fail so miserably at obeying his One and only command in Eden.

And yet, they kept going and created it all for us. From the very beginning Jesus knew what we would do, and He knew what He would do to restore it all. And even now, as we observe the beauty around us, as wonderful as it is, we know it’s just a precursor of what’s to come. As Jesus called each star by name, I believe He was already looking ahead, beyond the Fall, beyond the Flood, beyond the Nails and the Cross, to the restoration and redemption of His creation.

Too often, we miss the thousand miracles that present themselves to our view every day because we are too worried about tomorrow or mulling over past mistakes. And too often we try to fix people instead of just loving them where they are. Only God can do the fixing anyway. Another thought while walking, that Church needs to be more like our favorite cafe where you are loved, and known, greeted (and maybe even hugged.) Church shouldn’t be a spectator sport, and I blame myself just as much as everyone else. Maybe it could be more like this:

“Hey friend, welcome in, find a spot wherever you want, either a booth or a table!

As I got closer to the end of my walk, I saw a woman by a church who had just unloaded a van full of kids and they were all spreading towels and blankets on the grass, having just gone swimming somewhere. They were all excited and happy, all talking at once, thrilled just to be in the moment.

Maybe I can practice that?

We are all in recovery…..

“You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world, but a world lives in you.” Frederick Buechner

Yes indeed, even if they are gone from this world. Recovery seems to be a big issue now, there are reams of writings and data, and the library is filled with books on how to stop one bad habit and replace it with something healthier. I wonder, did anyone even say the word a century ago? I think mostly they were too tired at the end of the day to even wonder about the word, let alone the actual thing itself. I think of my grandma and grandpa coming to California, starting over after leaving their farm, animals (some of whom they thought of as friends), not to mention their little girl’s grave. If anyone needed recovery, certainly they did. But they just buckled down, worked hard, learned English as their second language, and carried on. I have grown up listening to the stories.

And I am proud to carry some of their DNA. I wonder, how much of those experiences have carried down through me, buried in my own DNA. I like to think there is a strength I have borrowed from them. There are also other things floating around, the not so good things. On my paternal Grandparents side there was alcoholism. My Grandpa recovered, my grandmother did not. I carry some of that DNA as well. I have battled my own love of alcohol with several come to Jesus moments over the years. Counselors say that we need to know our weaknesses, keep a journal. Write down when you want to drink, get angry, eat compulsively. I know one thing, addictions can kill body, mind and soul. They want to obliterate the best that God wants you to be. Paul says this:

O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” Romans 7:24,25 KJB

So, we are terminally ill without Jesus. You can read all the self-help books you want; and sometimes they do have their place but ultimately, they turn your mind inward and get you to focus more on yourself. What we need is something bigger than ourselves. I concede with the Apostle Paul that unless I have Jesus, who is the only one who truly never gave into temptation, I have limited success in this life and none in the next.

I am one of those people to whom a party is not good news. I immediately stress out in mixed groups. If there was alcohol served, I was slightly relieved. Then I made sure to have a drink before I left for good measure. Now, thanks be to Jesus, I still get anxious, but I pray instead.

As I do most times, before I got to sleep last night, I thanked God for the roof over my head and thought of those nearly under the freeway sleeping in the dirt in the midst of their own garbage. It’s epidemic here in California. It’s so easy to play the us versus them game. I am guilty of that. I wonder why able-bodied young men choose the streets and addiction rather than just getting a job. “But God,” I prayed, “Help me to not see them as just the sum of their parts. Not just people who steal and throw garbage everywhere, but people that have gone wrong.

Just like I’ve gone wrong so many times in my life. Just like we’ve all gone wrong. It would be so tragic is there was no remedy. But there is:

Hand Jesus your life. You will never regret it. Trade the band aid for the Cure. It’s not easy, but its effects have immediate and eternal ramifications. Message me if you want to know how. Believe me, I’ve been there.

“But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57 NLT

I should be in Church, but……

Yes, I should be in church but here I am at home. And sometimes it’s okay.

Shades still pulled against the half-light of dawn; I opened this little book that Mom had given me as I do from time to time. Sometimes it encourages me to read things she wrote. It helps to fill the gap she left. I miss the way back when of her, before others highjacked the person she was. Alzheimer’s for one. The others shall remain nameless, and it no longer matters because those have already been cleared up having been swept away when she left this earth. When you get older as I am now, you tend to think of Heaven more. At least I do. Of course, I imagine how physically perfect it will all be but the part I long for the most is that there will be no dissention. No disagreements, no misunderstandings, no suspicion, no lack of trust, no sin.

After all, it was a lie that first tipped the world off its axis. And it’s more lies that have continued to wreak havoc on our world today. Four little words…….”Did God really say?” There are lots of things our first mother could have done at that point. The most obvious one to me is she could have simply turned to God. (He was readily available at that point) “Hey, God a little help here, this creature is causing me to doubt what you said!” Or maybe the kind of arrow prayer many of us use on a daily basis, “Help me, Lord!!!” She could have done what I do when I need a refresher on what God actually did say in a certain situation. After all, I second guess myself all the time on what I thought I heard.

But no. She believed the slick beauty of who was speaking and doubted the fact that God had her best intensions at heart. Don’t blame her though, I think most of us would have done the very same thing. Maybe not Enoch, since the Bible says he walked with God, so much so that he didn’t actually die, God just beamed Him up.

This Sunday morning, I echo Jesus words. “Let not your hearts be troubled, believe in God, believe also in me.” John 14:1

I came across a sermon from my old Pastor in Arizona which encouraged me greatly, maybe it will you as well. I am posting the You Tube link here.

Be of good cheer, keep on praying for the President because that is what God calls us to do. I earnestly hope these words reach someone that needs to hear them. We all need comfort and healing of different kinds and grace, always grace. So far, no bombs from Iran in this direction. The world is in distress, but we know the answer. It’s always Jesus. Getting to know Him is the one thing you will never regret.

I end with Paul’s salutation from the book of Galatians, which I love: “Grace and peace to you from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age. ” Galatians 1:3,4.

Sometimes…..(and a toast)

Recently my very best friend in the world had a milestone Birthday. She turned 70. I got to truly surprise her with some very special company. We went to dinner, and I had plans to make a toast, but with all the ordering and talking and catching up, I didn’t. Shame on me.

So here is the toast I would have said. (With glasses raised) To Elaine:

“We are here to celebrate someone who has impacted each of our lives in different ways for a long time and not without some risk and sacrifice to herself. The Bible calls that Agape Love (with capital letters) She loved us all at pivotal points in our lives and when we needed it the most, she threw open the door of her home and her heart. There is simply no better friend. I admire her because she is a person who gives without reservation or hesitation. She prays for the duck and chicks at Tractor Supply, that they will have good lives and not end up in the wrong hands. She is a repairer and fixer. I always tell her that there is nothing she can’t fix. That is mostly true. She lives her faith openly and simply and without reservation. She just helps when help is needed like Jesus told us to do. I always tell her that she would’ve been the only character that would have helped the Little Red Hen with everything and then only taken the bread after everyone was served. I can’t imagine this world without her in it, and I know God feels the same way.” Cheers!

Here is the next thing I was thinking today. My Mom passed in 2021 and sometimes I hear her voice saying different things. Today it was “Who have you told about Jesus today?” My answer was no one. But writing this will change that because maybe this will find its way to someone that needs to hear it. I need to hear it. Everything changes but God (and Jesus) stay the same. That is a huge comfort to me. My words have been few lately, but I am not discouraged because Jesus has been with me for so long and brought me through so much that I know He is still there. And He can be there for you too. And His love is not conditional. I tend to think that if I don’t feel warm fuzzies or God’s presence in a certain way that I must have done something wrong. That is not the case. God doesn’t withdraw His love just like a parent doesn’t withdraw their love from their child. At any time of the day, I can talk to Him, and I know He hears me.

Many people select a word for the New Year. Usually these are wonderful words like “Trust” “Hope” “Belief” “Courage.” The only word that came to me was GLOOM. And it came so quick it almost made me laugh. Thats the truth. Maybe you have a small mushroom cloud over your head today and it’s just overwhelming. It won’t last, I promise. Joy will leak through. God has promised this, if you don’t give up. This is something that has been proven time and again in my 65 years.

This is a version of this verse I really like from the Amplified Bible:

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may endure for a night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

To Hear You Breathe

I come in just about every morning and listen, listen. You don’t know it but I come in so I can hear you breathe. It makes me feel a peace inside, a calm assurance that you are here. Then, on the heels of that, I feel the sting and loss of what it would be like if you weren’t. Like a cavern it grows inside me from some dark place that remains hidden. It nips at my soul’s heels like a reminder of how fleeting it all is. This waking life. I feel the whole creation longing for redemption……release from the curse we’ve put on ourselves. 

Every blade, every leaf, every tree whispers it through the air. Animals and humans alike, desperate for food in a parched land, orphans aching for the mother they once knew. So much suffering. Everyone knows something has gone terribly wrong and everyone pitches in their two cents, wondering what the fix is. Because we are human, and we don’t give up so easily we use different and ingenious ways to patch up the gaping hole in our maimed creation.

We wait for the wrongs to be righted. Because we know they must. We see the heartache flashing across our screens, snapshots of someone else’s grief. Our minds scarcely have time to deal with what we just saw and then comes the next, worse than the first. We live in a world that breathes in life and death, and sometimes in the same moment.

You told me how you prayed for the chicks at the Farm store. That they would have a good life. Oh my gosh it makes me cry and think how wonderful you are. How blessed I am beyond measure to have you. How much easier life would be if everyone had a best friend to soften the blows of this life.

Each morning, I long for that quiet place where I can hear from God again. I seek it but can’t quite find it against the backdrop of noise. But there is this. When I open your Book, I am comforted once again. I open it and feel eternity, life, wholeness there. I cling to the hope and knowledge of its rightness, for in between its pages there is the breath of the Holy Spirit. I don’t even have to flip to the back, I know the ending.

No matter what happens in this life, God already completed the master stroke when He said, “IT is finished.” The “It” in this instance is everything. The whole long story from creation to the end of all things. 

Redemption for creation happened in one terrible magnificent instant, making all things new when He rose from the grave. Breaking chains of all kinds forever. The old dead oak standing in the field laughs and starts to bud, the cows run out of the gate to fresh grass, no more slaughterhouse for them. Thorns grow soft and bloom. No humans or animals wake with hunger pains ever again. We all eat kale, except Heaven’s kale will taste like nothing we’ve ever had before. No one kills or dies ever again. And contagious laughter will forever ring through the halls of Heaven.

And the little will chicks peep for joy. 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:3,4

Coming Home

“Those who live in the shadow of the most high will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.’ Psalm 91:1-2

It’s been so long since I’ve been here that I feel as if I have crept into the back door of my childhood home, letting myself in with the spare key. I can almost hear the creak of the screen door. I actually did do a recording of that squeak once, not wanting to forget what it sounded like. I drive by there from time to time to check on my brother’s rental that was put in the trust when he died, since its about 3 doors down.

The explanation for why I haven’t been here. I guess it’s just that the words haven’t come, not for lack of things happening in and outside of my life but for lack of thinking that any of it matters to anyone else. I tell myself it’s all part of the journey of writing. I hear people talk about it, the silence. I guess there is a place for it, otherwise why the 400 years of silence between Isaiah and the New Testament?

I recently started a Bible Study that I’m really enjoying. My childhood friend invited me and it’s held at a small Baptist Church that reminds me of church the way it used to be. We gather together in the sanctuary with the leader ( a little 4’11” dynamo) with a sparkle in her eyes and her spirit and a humble heart. We sing a hymn (from an actual hymnal) then she prays for us and we are released into our small groups and work through our study with a leader. We then meet back in the main hall where Pam goes through all our questions with a final lecture. I find myself looking forward to each lesson. I feel it bubbling through me like living water.

Getting back to the theme of home, where I think this is all going. Anytime we delve into Scripture, it’s a bit like coming home all over again. That is, if we put a bit of work into it. And this actual home we moved into, oh my friends, we are enjoying it so much. Eight years of living in a very small space does a number on you. For those who forgot or didn’t know, when we moved back here, we lived on my aunt’s property on the Mokelumne River. (Click on link to see) It fed my nature loving soul and it was a beautiful setting for sure. That part of it I miss but it was so restrictive in many ways. (And tiny) Constant worry over maintenance of an older RV and 50-year-old trees falling among other things and we were done.

So, we are home. This is the final resting place this side of Heaven unless there is an earthly purgatory in the form of a care home (God forbid). Not being able to care for yourself is a real downside of getting older. As my aunt says (she’s 92 now) “It’s not for sissies.”

It’s kind of weird how God and life work if you pay attention. About 40 years ago I came to this very same mobile home park. I went out on a spiritual limb and said yes to God (it was actually my aunt and uncle) but the much bigger yes is the one I said to God when he asked me to sing with their small group. ( A solo with canned background music) To this day I’m not sure why I said yes. Singing a solo was about as far from my personality as it gets. But He came through for me then and He has never left my side. All these years later, here I am and here He is.

So thank you for anyone here still reading and caring. The kittens we got from the Balam Foundation in Mexico are thriving. Atticus has attached himself to me and Scout has made Elaine his mama. Of course, we love them both equally. Needless to say, there will be no Christmas trees inside this year. We got some decorations up and I found Santa on the ground this morning with a few small parts missing. So far that is the only casualty. And for the first time in 9 years, we are cooking a turkey for Thanksgiving. Life is good friends. Most importantly God is good.

If you are still here, thank you for slogging along with me. I hope you and yours have a very Blessed Thanksgiving this year from my humble Prayer Closet……Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Lori