Feelin on the fringe today…….

“Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho.  Now behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector, and he was rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not because of the crowd, for he was of short stature. So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way.” Luke 19:1-5

I have always loved this story. Maybe because I am short too. I was always on the end in choir. I was always one of the shortest in my class at school. Sometimes it made me feel marginalized, on the fringe. I also didn’t like that song by Randy Newman about “short people.”

What I love about this story is that Jesus noticed Zacchaeus up in that tree. He knew he was there beforehand because he paused right at the very spot where he was, perched there on the branch. Then he did something nobody expected……he invited him to dinner.
Jesus refused to let people feel marginalized. He noticed them……put them center stage. He got flack for it too, but He didn’t care. He wasn’t afraid to do the unpopular thing when it meant lifting someone else up, making them shine.

And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said to him, “Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house.” So he made haste and came down, and received Him joyfully. But when they saw it, they all complained, saying, “He has gone to be a guest with a man who is a sinner.” 5-7

If you are feeling somewhat on the fringe today, the outer limits of life…….remember that Jesus notices you.

He sees you on the sidelines.
With your back against the wall.
The one that doesn’t want to be center stage.
The one watching from a distance.

The one watching from the tree.

Upside down justice

“Can anyone teach God knowledge to God, Since He judges even the highest? One man dies in his full strength, being wholly at ease and secure; his body is well-nourished, his bones rich with marrow. Another man dies in the bitterness of his soul, never having enjoyed anything good.” Job 21:22-25
Does it ever seem like we are living in an upside down world? Evil acts go unpunished. Something in us wants, craves justice. Sometimes we feel like taking matters into our own hands. There have been several movies that portray someone doing just that. The other night I happened upon one. I was over at someone’s house and a movie started. There was a heartfelt scene with a Dad and his daughter lovingly interacting. Then it all went terribly wrong. A home invasion. Three men burst in, killed the wife, kidnapped and later killed the daughter. The father barely survived. It was merciless, they killed without remorse. I left after the first scene.  
I later found out what happened. The “perps” got off, so the Dad ended up finding all three and ingeniously divising each one’s torturous death. He ended up terrorizing the whole town and in the end, he was blown up. Death by napalm. It wasn’t a satisfactory end for anyone. No one got justice, and nothing he did gave him any satisfaction in the end. He died clinging to a necklace his daughter made for him. It was hopeless.
We may say about someone, why is this person still taking up air? They do no good for anyone, they are miserable and life seems like a chore to them. There is no joy in their days, and they weigh others down with their bleak outlook. Why, we wonder, can’t they just die peacefully in their sleep? But thankfully, that is not up to me to decide. I am sure I would get it all wrong.

When my thoughts meander in that direction, the only way I know to get peace is to give God back His sovereignty. At times like that, it is tempting to wrestle it away from Him. But He alone has control of how many breaths, years, months, anyone has. We must give back to God’s what is God’s. When I let it rest with Him, He blesses me with the peace and strength I so desperately seek.

My thoughts calm.

I don’t have to worry about justice. I know that belongs to God. All that is wrong will one day be made right. And in the meantime, I will rest in Him. I remember how mercifully He has dealt with me.

The Word is a tremendous comfort in times like these. When I read these words in Job today, I was reassured. Others have felt the same way down through the ages. But God doesn’t change. And one thing is for sure. I can rest in His justice, and mercy. For really, what does any of us deserve?

It is because of His great love and mercy He has saved us from what we all deserve.

Because of His love for me, I get what I don’t deserve.

All Creatures Great and Small

“If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.” Saint Francis of Assisi
Today I honor our animal friends with a photo essay of “Briggs.” I am so thankful for the joy and the laughter our pets bring to our lives, and for the comfort they so unreservedly give, expecting nothing in return. They leave their footprints across our hearts and change us for the better. I am thankful for all those who volunteer in shelters, giving their love and time and extending their compassion to all God’s creatures who have been left behind and abandoned.

“Oh, no she has that black thing out again that clicks and flashes the bright light………must you do that nooowwww?”

“Okay, if you insist on doing that, I will just do my best to ignore you and take a bath……”

“Doing my best to look thoughtful and pensive……how am I doing?”

“This is all so very tiring…..I think I will just lay here and guard my mouse.”

“A cat’s work is never done……”

Thankful today for all the ones I have held and known, run and played with throughout my life. Thankful for a loving God who saw fit to create them for us as wonderful companions in the journey of life.

Briggs is the king of the house and loves everyone…..Sydney adopted me as his own and follows me everywhere, flopping upside down in my lap every night…..

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
Cecil Frances Alexander

holy experience

Morning Journal

When morning gilds the skies my heart awaking cries:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
Alike at work and prayer, to Jesus I repair:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
When you begin the day, O never fail to say,
May Jesus Christ be praised!
And at your work rejoice, to sing with heart and voice,
May Jesus Christ be praised!
German hymn, author unknown
The birds were busy this morning,  as they crisscrossed staccato clouds. Roused from their nightime secrets places of slumber, they now have places to go, things to do.
Bunny is busy too, zig-zagging further down the street. It was a gilded sunrise, everything washed in peach……I had a great night’s sleep and I feel rested, first time in four days.
The moon still hangs lazily above the cloud bank to my right. I guess she is not ready to wake up on the other side of the world just yet.
What a luxury it is to sit here and watch the world wake up.
In my memory, I see myself, my Dad, a group of us standing in a circle holding hands on a green lawn, still damp with dew. We are singing the song, “Morning Has Broken.” Celebration in the air……
It is Easter sunrise.
Today I had another.
 

Just today…..

“In the days before his death,his Aunt Louisa asked him if he had made his peace with God.
His answer was “I did not know we had ever quarrelled, Aunt.” Attributed to Henry David Thoreau
The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”
Thank you God for placing me here in this world you have created. I could have been born anywhere or not at all, and I thank you that I was. Each day holds a glimpse of Your Heaven. Help me not fail to notice the small moments of wonder happening all around me. Too many days have passed when I haven’t.
Consider just one bird….the cactus wren, so busy, so industrious is this couple that they build not one nest, but two….one as a backup, or maybe a decoy to fool predators?
And when I consider the full moon hanging there just so, its own presence daring us not to believe. I wonder how anyone can deny that kind of majesty and say that it was not created…..
that….. it….. just….. happened
We are all born with a spark of Grace…..made for eternity.
No matter how bad I think things are, there is always so much to thank you for. Sometimes it helps to do just that.
So today, I pause.

Because God is Real

photo of clouds behind my house

People may ask, what does it matter what you do? What you watch? What you listen to? Does anyone really care? In this age of anything goes, does it matter anymore? It matters greatly because we greatly matter to God! It matters more than ever.

Not only is God alive to us, He wants to be involved in everything we do. He has a personal investment in us! It is the difference between feeling like a latchkey kid, always having to let yourself in the door at night, and being a kid whose parents want to know where you are and who you are hanging with. Not because they are busybodies, or nosy, or want to rule your life….but because they care and want the best for you.

Not only that, but He comes alongside and helps me back up when I fail miserably. He understands that I will, but because He looks on my heart, He knows my motive. He can see if love is what drives me or something else.

This morning I was tossing and turning……It was three o’ clock and I had to get up at four. I rolled over after looking at the clock, and was glad I had another hour. But I couldn’t go back to sleep. I tried the 23rd Psalm, that usually works to lull me back to slumber. But this morning I got stuck on lines. The first one actually…..

“The Lord is my Shepherd……the Lord is my Shepherd…….the Lord is my Shepherd”…..Thoughts crash in like ocean waves……I wonder how much time I left with my parents, Dad is turning 83 this week…..what will I do if I get a phone call saying they are gone and I didn’t get to say goodbye…..What is our President doing with our money? Will we have anything left to call our own after he gets done playing monopoly with it? Maybe I should sell everything and move into the RV and put my money in a coffee can.

I shall not want, I shall not want, I shall not want…….He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.

He leadeth me beside still waters…..

In Him, I have everything I need, and yet I toss and turn some more. I never go back to sleep. 3:10…..3:20…..3:50……

This morning, my first cup of coffee having cleared my head, I was thinking about Psalm 23 again. This image stayed with me. I pictured My Shepherd, His body laying down across the sheep gate in the night, the sheep gate of my life, my heart…… protecting the sheep (me) from preditors in the night…..

thoughts that go astray…….worries that won’t sleep.

He says: “Don’t worry, I got you covered.”

Picture credit of sheep: Google images

The Final Frontier

One sings in her wheelchair as she is pushed along the halls, mostly Que Sara, Que Sara, sometimes Amazing Grace. She has an amazingly strong voice. We try to meet all their faces as we pass, and say hello and smile. You have the sense of wanting to give them back their humanity in this land of the seemingly lonely and forgotten.
When I first started to do the nursing home thing again, I recoiled. It felt like the Land of the Lost. My friend calls it the Roach Motel. You check in but you don’t check out.
Where my Uncle is staying there is a gentleman there who insists that he will get to Heaven by train. When my Aunt sees him, he makes the announcement, “I have my ticket, I am leaving today at three o’clock.” Hey I kind of like that idea, like going to Heaven on the Hogwart’s Express! One lady, mutters constantly….”I don’t know what the hell I am doing in this place.” Once she never stepped out of her house looking anything less than dressed to the nines with hair perfectly styled. Now my Aunt says she looks like a street person. Unrecognizable as the woman she once was.
They give these places fancy sounding names like “Rehabilitation Center” “Care Centers” “Guest Homes.”
I have to say, now that I have been “doing the circuit” again, there is something else that is clear to me. It is not all hopeless. I walk past rooms that are decorated in pictures from home, their pets, Scripture verses, shelves of books, colorful quilts in bright colors.
All in all, I have made up my mind that you die the way you lived.
If you are positive when you were young, you will be positive all the way to the end. Unless you don’t have your mind, that is. Then it’s different.
I walk along the halls and see signs of life and hope, and see signs up giving up.
It all comes down to life and death in the end.
I am determined that I will choose life no matter what. That is the hope I have in Jesus. That is the hope that Henry has. Elaine met him walking the halls. They got to talking and he told her he comes from a long line of ministers. He told her with a sparkle in his eye, “Today I am reading the book of Numbers!”
If I ever end up in one of these places I want to be like Henry.
Or the guy waiting for my three o clock train to Heaven.
And honestly, sometimes it doesn’t sound too bad. No responsibilies, a shelf full of books, three square meals….I just really hope that I can keep my eyesight and my mind.
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38

Even while we sleep……

Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin…….my steps have held to your paths; my feet have not slipped….Psalm 16:3,5

I was tossing and turning over a situation. It was a fitful night, but this morning I awoke to the sound of rain….welcome rain on the rooftop. I heard the gentle patter of it off and on while it was still dark, and though my sleep was not totally restful I was somehow always lulled back to sleep.
I needed the comfort of the Psalms this morning and so I opened my Bible to my old friends that never fail to give me the peace I need in every situation.

Imagine, even while we are sleeping, God is working for us……..”I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:7,8

I am praising and thanking the Lord today, for Godly counsel. For the wisdom I find in His word and for those He has lovingly placed in my life who say just the right thing at the right time.

holy experience  I am giving thanks for my Mom today, who said just the right thing this morning when I needed it. What a solid rock you are! I can always find the right perspective when I talk to you. I thank God for you.

God sees behind our windows

With all your science – can you tell how it is, and whence it is, that light comes into the soul? ~Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes I like to imagine the life behind the window……who it is that lives there, what it is they do. I imagine all kinds of scenes. I see someone rising early before the world awakes, moving soundlessly on stockinged feet to start the coffee or tea. Arising to enjoy some solace, maybe praying, maybe writing in a journal and sitting behind this window watching passersby like me walk by.

Or maybe they are old and alone, hoping for a knock on the door. A visitor to swap stories with.

Maybe they wonder about me, the walker…….

God knows all of our stories, everything behind our windows.

He wants to open the window of your soul and let some light in. He wants to open the windows of Heaven and fill your heart to overflowing.

Jesus is that visitor who wants to come in and hear your story. He is knocking, oh so softly.

If you open the door, I promise you will never be the same……

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” Revelation 3:20

When we all get to Heaven

If I could write a book, that would be the title. It’s one of the songs that my family used to sing when we got together. We used to call them “sings.” I guess you could call them jam sessions to use a more modern term. My Uncle played the sax but not very well. Uncle Bill played the banjo very well, having been self taught. One of Mom’s sisters Aunt Mayvis or Esther would be on piano or organ, and  singing Alto, and my Dad would play what we used to call the “gut bucket,” also known as the “washtub bass.” (As barefoot Larry illustrates above) He played his alternating two notes right on time. My Mom would do lead soprano and Aunt Lois and all of us kids would round out vocals, when we weren’t holding our ears in mock horror.

Those choruses roll over in my mind and I love hearing them. They are part of the fabric of my being. Uncle Bill and Aunt Esther have been gone several years now. Aunt Mayvis is sorting through my Uncle’s things now, since he won’t be coming home again. Aunt Lois has been alone for years now, and my cousin was home last weekend helping her out at the house. My Mom and Dad, thankfully are going strong.

But we are all getting closer and closer to “that time.” Even me. It gives me pause.

It also gives me strength to honor all their memories by taking care of myself…..living well….and keeping their stories alive.

I want my niece to know what kind of people she comes from, how strong they were and how proud I am of them all. For their stories are all of our stories. Their lives were marked with sacrifice and hardship and they never gave up. They were thinking of the future, theirs and ours.  

So every now and again I resurrect the stories here…..to honor them.

I find myself wishing I could have been there when my Aunt and Uncle and two friends all got perms when they came to California in the late 1930’s in their old Ford piled with everything they could put on top. The relatives thoughtfully had a place ready for them to live……in the chicken coop. But they didn’t know that then.

Or seen my Grandmother and Grandfather rescue the baby chicks that didn’t drown in the rainstorm, bringing them in by the wood stove to dry.

I think I can almost see them looking back as they left their farm behind in North Dakota to move to California…. I know they shed many tears for the little girl they left behind, her small 2 year old body marked with a lamb on the stone……and all their animal friends, each one of whom were named. They were their working partners through several harsh winters.

And I wish I could have seen my Mom win my Dad back after they had a fight in high school, she in her black dress and gold lame shoes, singing a love song on stage at the school talent show. She and my Dad reconciled that night.

I remember them all today. Their lives encourage me to take care of myself and do my best to make them proud, and to cherish every year God gives me, and to never ever give up.

Always keeping their stories living, breathing, with me.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1