Walking with God

Showdown in the Desert

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

I struggle with this post today. How to get into words what I feel this year? This particular advent? Each year I ask myself the same questions. What did it mean then, and what does it mean today? How can anyone truly understand the wonder of the Living God coming down to earth as a baby? This is why we are celebrating, after all.
Yesterday I saw a sign at a Scottsdale shopping mall describing Santa as “The man of the Season.” Really? I guess for some he is the man of the season, but not for me.
Sometimes…..many times, in our walk of faith we come to a place of decision. That is where I was yesterday. It was difficult to pray. I sat in silence, my heart feeling like a stone. I was struggling. It was a battle I was facing and I had to ask myself a serious question. It was a showdown in the desert. I
Jesus had one too. And He won.
After prayer I came back inside, pacing. Lately I have noticed anger…..resentment bubbling underneath my surface, ready to flare at little meaningless things. I know where it comes from. And I also know that it was a Spiritual battle not a physical one I had to fight.
I know Satan’s tactics. It was between him and me now. I was determined that he would not win. Can I just say to anyone who thinks that Satan isn’t real, that he isn’t absolutely bent on our destruction, just look at our world today. That my friends, is not the work of God.
What He created was and is perfect. Take the human element out of this world and you would be left with the same perfection as in the day of creation. Still and always, good. But thankfully, there is a good human element in play as well. All around us there are those who hold back the tide. And let’s just call it what it is…..evil.
I realized yesterday morning, that if I can’t handle one old, stinky bad tempered woman, yes I did say stinky. We are going on week six of no shower. She gets absolutely hostile and angry when Elaine suggests she take one. So we just keep spraying air freshener and lighting candles throughout the house.
If I can’t handle this situation, then my faith means nothing. I am a fraud as a Christian. I may as not sing one Christmas carol. You see, that was and is the battle. Yours might be different, but we are all in one once we claim the name of Christ. It is not about flesh and blood at all. 
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 
It is an old battle and nothing new. Yesterday I determined that God and I together would win it. Peace will reign in this home, in my heart. I will lay my struggle down at the feet of Jesus. I will let the Spirit take over instead of trying to fight it on my own.


“Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:12

Once I made up my mind……peace flooded into my heart. That is what advent means to me this year. It means peace, it means victory, it means we may have battles, but Jesus has won the war for us!
I continue my count today with renewed gratitude……..Decorating with joy for the season…….A best friend who understands and shares my burdens in prayer and conversation…..Christmas lights that work…..Snowman doormat….new heater in prayer room…….talks by the firelight……Morning chill……a call from my Aunt last night…..laughter when all else fails……Sleigh with stuffed Christmas babies that always make me smile…..#743-#753

I dreamt of snow flurries…….


I have always said, snow can make a scene of beauty out of a dumping ground. It transforms what it touches, like God’s Grace when it reaches us. In Isaiah, the book I have always thought of as the Christmas book God says: “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. – Isaiah 1:18

While I didn’t wake to snow flurries, I did awake to the patter of raindrops……..I sighed and rolled over, “no watering today.” Always a concern in the desert.

As I went out for my morning walk/run the streets were wet with wonderful puddles. Another thing to thank Him for. As I passed by the gate I saw the cars already lined up at 6:30, a stream of cars jostling for position in queue.

I thought of myself, since I will be one of those later on this week.

I thought of the people in those cars…….have they felt the touch of God’s snow white Grace?

As the world is gearing up for the Holidays, I pray that we might slow down instead. Downshift our lives. I pray more than anything for peace during this Thanksgiving, and throughout the Christmas season. That our lives and hearts and souls will be knit together in love.

That we may love each other as One in Him.

I am thankful first of all today for Ann’s calling it to my attention. The counting of the gifts. As I read more from her wonderful book: One Thousand Gifts, and I thought of a few people who I know that would embrace and live the message…..who just may find one tucked under their tree this year.

And I prayed thanks for:

#732-742: The joy of taking pictures……raindrops in the night…..fresh coffee to get me started……fires at night, along with conversation that goes with it…….visits with old friends…….dreams of snow flurries……warm clothes when wind bites…..warm oatmeal cookies……people who believe in me.

photo from google images

Onto the green…..

In everything give thanks……..“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

As I walked outside this morning, I glimpsed one of those magic Arizona sunrises that I knew I had to capture. I got my camera and drove across the street to the golf course, where the golfer’s church, their form of Sunday service I suppose, was just about to commence. The announcer’s voice…..the morning lineup of who would tee off….

I thought, I could just about get used to this kind of service.

I don’t know if God was with them, but He was certainly with me.

Thank you precious Lord, for giving me the eyes to see You.

And this.

Amen

The door of peace

 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
Every day we have a choice. Which door will I walk through? That of the Spirit or that of the world? In every circumstance a door of choice lays before us. Some people don’t even realize a choice exists, they just react, and react badly. I have realized my own capacity to veer wildly off the path, leave the way of peace in the dust and choose to react the way the world does.
I am amazed and ashamed at my own capability for white hot rage, or resentment that sticks like a burr in my heart. One minute I am praying in the Spirit and in the next instant I am ready to lash out……At what someone does, or says. This is the human condition, and one Jesus knew well. It’s one of the reasons He came. He knew we were hopeless and helpless without Him. Without His Spirit indwelling us, working through us and in us, we don’t have a snowball’s chance. (you know the rest)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

Friends, this is a battle. And thankfully it is a battle that Christ has already won. I don’t have a chance of winning it on my own. Many times I still try. 

Today, moment by moment, choice by choice I can choose to lay down my weapons and walk peacefully through the door of the Spirit.

Come with me.

Pray for me and I will pray for you, okay? 

Encouragement from a prison cell

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:9,10

The whole book of Ephesians reads like a prayer of Thanksgiving. Paul is writing from a prison cell, yet this book is enfused with so much joy and hope it is impossible to read it without your spirits lifting. No longer going from place to place putting out fires and encouraging the church, he has endless time in which to write about a future filled with hope in Christ.

It’s all about knocking down the barriers that once separated us from God and each other. Jews and Gentiles, once the most segregated and divided of peoples, now are brought together as one in Christ Jesus……

“But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us.” Ephesians 2: 13,14

Sometimes our circumstances can lead us to feel like we are in a prison cell of our own. And we see no end to it. My best friend sees no end to her caretaking responsibilities right now. She feels as if she has been robbed of her life. She told me yesterday all she keeps hearing is my Aunt’s voice saying, “The caretakers end up dying”……and now it haunts her like a refrain she can’t get rid of……..The caretakers die……the caretakers die, the caretakers die. I do my best to comfort her, encourage her.

The truth is, the hope Paul holds out is real. Present circumstances are just that. They will not last forever. We must grab every scrap of joy we can, and yesterday we had a good day. With Christ, each day is enfused with hope. Without Him, we have no hope at all.

So I am thankful for the good moments we had yesterday, and looking forward to more today, holding each one up to the light and giving thanks to Our Father, who has given His Holy Spirit in generous measure, to do above all we can ask or think.

Going to see the movie Puss in Boots yesterday, it was truly delightful. I was surprised at the amount of adults in the theater without kids, and everyone was laughing. Sorting through old slides of camping days, I volunteered to do this for my Dad…such wonderful memories. Being able to gather with the Body of Believers yesterday, to remember what it all means and celebrate what Jesus did for us. Being able to take our neighbor, who turned 88 to lunch yesterday, and then gathering later for cake and enjoying some laughs. Being able to enjoy some rain, and getting back into my exercise routine…….#726-731

Multitude Mondays on the Road

I am posting my blessings on a Wednesday instead of Monday because I didn’t want to miss an opportunity…….to thank Him again for outshining the stresses with blesses.

As I lay awake after my arrival, my mind swirling….one thousand thoughts converging……

colliding, worries tumbling over and over like a spin dryer.

Everything that comes with wanting to be everywhere at once when visiting family. The excitement of being there, and the sometimes extreme duress that came with traveling with someone extremely unpredictable, and with many special needs and challenges. It all swirled around.

My heart beating, my neck tense…..I prayed and let it all out to Him who listens best and can calm my heart when all else fails.

Still the blessings shine through the darkness. And many smiles were had and much laughter too. Now that I am home, I remember one after the other.

Being able to park the RV at my Aunt’s place on the Mokelumne River, and it was a blessing to her too to have us there. A comfort to her since now she comes home in the dark, her husband spends his days and nights away in a rest home. She said over and over again how she enjoyed it….having us there.

Seeing my Mom’s Bible study gals again…..their faith always shines through whatever they are dealing with, and there are many issues. But oh how we laughed and got a bit of study in too. Sometimes the fellowship is the most important part of the lesson.

Being able to spend time with Lauryn, my niece, my precious girl whose voice I still hear right now…saying my name which I waited so long for her to say. She has captured my heart with all the things she does……As I put scattered Lego’s back in the bag, my heart tugged…..lurched for her and the fun we had. Leaving is so bittersweet.

Enjoying a walk downtown in the crisp fall weather……clicking with my camera and enjoying once again walking all the paths I used to walk.

And of course, being able to do some things for Mom and Dad who are so appreciative of every small thing I do. I only wish it could be more……enjoying great food cooked by my brother, who really missed his calling. He should have been a chef.

Throwing an impromptu party for the “girls” in the Motor home. Elaine cooked a wonderful dinner and we laughed until our stomachs ached. My Aunt came out later and said what a great time she had…..

And to top it off. A spontaneous side trip to the ocean. I promise, pictures will follow………….There was a special place she longed to go, my best friend…..but with her Mom along, there was not much peace or relaxation for her. Let’s just say it was not a real vacation. Her dream of escaping there for a few days didn’t work out, so she asked me……Want to take a side trip to the coast on the way back?

It would mean getting back with no time to spare for work. But suddenly the prospect of going there, standing on the pounding surf, was irresistible. And she beamed like the sun……We turned the “bus” to the West with our hearts singing.

And Oh, the seafood. The magic of the waves, walking for hours and hours on the beach, watching the sandpipers clown around the shore, and the otter who entertained us for a solid hour with his antics.

It was all so wonderful. There is truly nothing like praying by the ocean.

Getting to bed at midnight and getting up at four AM for work is something I have not done in a while. But the memories and bit of peace and relaxation we carried away is worth every bit of sleep lost.

Sleep can be caught up. Moments are for seizing,  and once passed we can’t be sure they will come again.

#714-725

Can you spell STRESS?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds…….James 1:2
Pretty amazing, this verse, when you consider that it was written by Jesus brother James, after he became a Disciple and head of the church in Jerusalem……after Jesus resurrection.
That didn’t really sink in to me until I did alittle digging into which James actually wrote it, there were several in the Bible.
Last night was stressful and there were a few misshaps. There always are while traveling with an Alzheimer’s person. But miraculously there were also moments of joy along with the stress.
We had a wonderful meal by candelight outside.
Elaine tearfully said that……”I can’t let her change who I am, I have to stay myself.”
She deals with so much guilt. I do my best to tell her that the guilt is false, but she thinks she has to be perfectly in control and perfectly patient at all times. And that is not humanly possible. But she still trys. I fear that the trying is what drives people over the edge.
Well, that is all for now. Pulling out of the KOA soon….that is, as soon as I get ready. They are all waiting for the blogger to finish…..Sigh.

Multitudes on Monday

I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way I have stopped physically counting. I posted gratefulness and thanksgiving, to be sure. I have said loud and long how I have remained oh so very thankful for all that God has done and has continued to do and I have……been grateful, that is. But I know now that the counting matters because each one is so important. And if you stop counting, before you know it they all run together and something is diminished…..lost in the shuffle.

It is Ann who made me realize this, in her book of One Thousand Gifts. You see, I didn’t buy it right away; even though I was captivated by her blog from the first time I happened upon it. And even though I don’t know her, I love her. The part of her that comes through her writing anyway……..

There was one copy left at the clearance sale at Borders, and I should have bought it then. When I went back it was gone. So I bought it at Barnes and Noble at full price. I can only say that by page 14, the tears were streaming. It touched some deep place in me that no book has ever done in quite the same way. By page 27 it had paid for itself.

and I will probably buy more for friends and family. This book is not one to read casually, it’s one to take when you are settling down for the night, or when you are settled and still on a rainy day, or at a corner table for one. I would keep tissues handy.

So thank you dear Ann, “without the fanciful e” for getting me to realize how important it is to keep the count alive………

“Rejoice always,  pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good…….” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-20

This is what stood out to me in this verse. I had always misread it! I had always replaced one word with another. God doesn’t expect me to be thankful for all circumstances, but to be thankful in all circumstances. That changes the entire meaning. All this time I had saddled myself with a burden He never meant me to carry.

The count continues again…….thankful that someone comes to collect my trash…..shoes with good soles, shoes that fit……..Never having to have my feet touch the bare ground, unless I want them to…….that I have the money to pay bills……..not losing the joy of simple things, being able to pause even while frustrated or angry to say a prayer of thanks to God for His creation, fresh brewed coffee, even better, people to share it with……a brand new book……that I can let some things slide that I never would before……elderly people around me who have not lost their zest for life or their gratitude for this good earth and their part in its joys and sorrows and last but not least, recapturing my joy in numbering these blessings #700-#713

The LORD is my light and my salvation;Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 21:1

 
Sometimes when words are few…..
A few pictures say some things in a different way……

A stroll around back can give a different perspective…..
A look above can make the heart sigh……
when words are few.
Lately I have found words difficult. They are all swirling around inside me but none will come out the right way. Be still, says the Lord…..And wait on Him. So until He brings the words, waiting is what I am doing.
Maybe we can wait together?
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalm 27:13,14

The God Who Sees

“Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God who sees”; for she said, “Have I even remained alive here after seeing Him?” Genesis 16:13

El Roi…..The God who sees. One of the names of God. Isn’t it wonderful that we have a God who sees us? Who notices what we do?

We all want to be seen……be noticed. Even nature commands our attention……..

It invites us to look…..deeper. And it always points toward its Maker………the Grand Designer of us all.

Our God is the God who has searched us and known us……just as we want to be searched and known by others…..especially the ones we love.

Something in us wants to be remembered……..and we want others to remember the ones we have loved……even little cats spelled with a “K”

Few words this week folks…….one of those “treading water” weeks.

As timing would have it I came down with a killer cold the day before I got a new trainee at work. So I have been drugged up with Dayquil and fortified with Vitamin C during the day, and knocked out at night so I can sleep and get up by 4 am.

Two more days to go……God is good. He has kept me going. I can almost see the end of the week in sight.

Prayers please for my caregiving friend who just may head off to parts unknown really soon if she doesn’t get some relief……

all pics taken in and around Payson, Arizona by me