This’n’that

How Patient Am I?

One line of a book made me think…….”She hung up the phone.” I instantly thought of the old rotary dial phones I grew up with. I instantly remembered the way it sounded to actually hang up a phone. We don’t really hang up anymore. There’s no real finality to it. When you don’t hear that “clunk.” Used to, when you hung up, you hung up. But now, the hang up may be followed by a text…..”Nice talking to you….Oh, forgot to tell you…..” We are totally and completely connected. And then there’s Facebook and Twitter. Pinterest.

Earlier today I went visiting over at Debbie’s place and she challenged me with a question: “Just how patient am  I?” I think, not very. People have told me I am very patient, and I am sometimes, depending on the situation. But lately I am surprised at just how quickly the anger can flare up when the clothing I am trying to get off the hanger wont come off. Or when I am trying to find a parking place at work and someone beats me to it.

I text while in line at the store……Not a minute to be wasted. Or I take out my phone and get caught up on Words with Friends. I wonder……I remember, how would I feel now if I had to wait for that rotary dial to finish dialing that number. I hear it in my mind, and sometimes I wish I could hear it again. I remember my Grandmother’s dial was literally worn down she used it so much. She would have loved texting.

The hang up. The pause. The reflecting on the call that just finished. It seems there are fewer and fewer pauses anymore. That’s why I think it’s important we set out to create them in our lives.

That was the whole idea of doing my blog. Creating a quiet place of rest, carving out some time to meet with God…….getting out of the fast lane of life for just awhile. We need it more and more. I am thinking that our whole society, while dedicated to saving time, actually makes us savor time less.

I think we need more pauses. What do you think?

Multitudes on Monday

The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Isaiah 58:11

This morning I slept in until 7. I must have needed it. It has been a touch two weeks……And it’s amazing what I can do with an extra hour. I pray and collect my thoughts, read some verses, reflect on the day before and hope that something wonderful and inspirational flows out through the keyboard despite me.

 

It is important to create a space of quiet before the clatter of the day……..before everything starts. But today I slept away that extra hour. Now I have a cat that is resting on my arm as I type. He is usually settled at the foot of my bed by now. Right before he came in, he rushed in through the cat door meowing loudly….that was my signal to check the catboxes. Elaine had just cleaned them 5 minutes before. I stepped out to poop on the rug. I cleaned that up and settled once again in front of the keyboard.
 
 
Then Elaine’s Mom got up. She got her first halfcup of coffee. She has a routine. It goes something like this. She pours a cup (which is already warm) she scalds it in microwave then has to cool it down. I hear tap go on and half of the cup goes down the sink. She pours more coffee in because now it is not hot enough.
 
 
Peace be still…….The irritation that rises up is tempered by His grace. I feel it like a cloak that wraps around me. That is a big reason to give thanks.
 
 
This whole routine is repeated sometimes 2-3 times.
 
 
I hear the cat again out in the kitty box room. I go out and he has pooped on the rug again, he must have got inturrupted the first time, because he is still out there. That’s when I startle him and he kicks poop over the threshold. I clean it up for the second time. You have to understand, this is my cat’s only fault, he is perfect other than that. I love him dearly so it doesn’t bother me to clean it up.
 
 
I don’t remember where I was going with this post, but I do remember that it is Monday and that is a day to count my thanks. And I am thankful, because despite everything going on around me, there is a peace. I can still hear the praise of the church body from yesterday………I still feel it, He is near. The peace that passes all understanding. Once again, I experience the miraculous power that is an everyday part of a believer’s life.
 
 
Peace be still. So I count my blessings that continue to flow……..A Mom and Dad that love what I do, and tell me so. A God who loves us and brings us through……friends who support with their prayers…….One more summer out of this air-conditioner, already it is past due being replaced……Little big moments of laughter in the midst of craziness…….Sanity despite insane circumstances……A best friend to worship with, pray with, share life with…….Fresh tomatoes starting to produce, and okra and watermelon reaching for the sky…….Godly teaching from a Pastor who is not afraid to preach right out of the Bible……#900-910
And another stopping place for today, please join Duane Scott as he unwraps the promises of God……Please join me, joining him there as well……You will be blessed, I promise!

Could it possibly be?

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven–Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a reason they call it “THE CHANGE.” As in, not a change, but the change. The mother of all changes. No I don’t think I can write about this, it is too painful. I have been on the other side of the change all my life. So far, I have dipped my toes in that river that takes me to the other side, and I don’t much like how it feels.

It comes with certain symptoms that I remember seeing in my older female relatives. I am ashamed to say that I snickered when they suddenly bolted from the table, looking like might implode from the inside out. I am sure of one thing, I am much too young for this despite what I read on the Web MD. And if I hadn’t read the symptoms? I would probably just have gone on denying it.

To make it worse, when I read some of these off to my very supportive best friend, she said, “That’s nothing new, you’ve been that way ever since I’ve known you…” Ouch.

Usually once a night, sometimes more, I wake up and run for the freezer for my little handy ice wrap thingy. The other night I stumbled out there, the cats blearily looking at me, (they know by now that this is normal, and not time for food yet.)

I velcroed the wonderful coolness around my neck and feeling the chill,  fell back asleep. I really don’t remember putting it on so tight, but I was really really hot. When I awoke awhile later it had lost it’s coolness and felt like a warm boa constrictor. That set off a panic attack. I turned instantly clautrophobic and when I finally wrestled it off I had to laugh in spite of myself. What must I have looked like?

It was a tough night.

I just want to know why they call it Menopause, do Men go through the change too? Not that that is what is happening to me mind you.

Missing her……

I am missing her this morning….that’s my post today. This coming week she will be going to the beach with “Papa’s Mama” (my Mom) and “Papa” as she calls my Dad, and her Daddy. I heard how excited she sounded on the phone the other night. Sitting here at my desk at work, my heart squeezes and I am trying to keep tears from spilling, and failing. I know how she will shriek when she sees the ocean, just like I used to. She will be jumping up and down on one foot and I know my brother will not be moving nearly fast enough for her.

Wasn’t it only yesterday that she left the driveway in her car seat, shortly after she was born? That I collapsed in tears because I knew I wouldn’t be seeing her again for awhile? I saw all those moments I was going to miss. It’s preposterous, that her next Birthday she will be ten….and I shake my head in disbelief and how fast it all went.

Elaine was feeling much the same way last night……Her niece, and namesake, McKenna was in a school play. I saw and felt the pang of sadness in her voice and in her eyes as the pictures came through, knowing she wouldn’t be there to see her perform the part of Charlie Bucket’s mother onstage.

They are all so precious and time is flying by way too fast. Everything is monumental in their lives right now, every moment as big as eternity……I wish I could make a big bubble where we could all live close.

All those moments are magic, you know?

I feel unsettled this morning,  like the world is shifting a bit under my feet. The gravity of home was pulling me back. I even kept slowing down in the car, and for me that is unusual. I got to work and found they had moved my workstation. You would think I would be totally comfortable with change by now after being here 16 years.

Meanwhile, there is a little girl named Isabel still missing here in Arizona. She is only 6. I hope and pray she will have another Birthday,  yet after more than one week missing, I feel guilty in thinking there is little hope that she will…… that is a sorrow that I can’t even fathom. A bottomless grief.

Today I hold out hope along with her parents, that somewhere she is safe.

Please keep Isabel and her family in your prayers…..

Grace Blows Through Our Days

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Not only that, He rose for us too……In light of those two facts, everything else in this life can be worked out. Some days are good mostly all the way through, but the average day holds a bit of everything mixed in. Just living in this world is a challenge. Yesterday was a hodgepodge but overall it was good. The usual worries cycled through my head on the way to work. I started to pray and stared off into the road ahead, my thoughts veer off as I hold study to the wheel.

The weather was beautiful and a bit cloudy, all the more beautiful since May and June are coming, and that’s when the heat starts.  In my heart are the usual faces I send up into the throne of Grace.

I think of my brother, who works for The City of Stockton, a whole city on the brink of bankruptcy. He is caught like so many loyal employees, in the middle. Unsure of his job, unsure of his retirement, having to decide whether to let go and move on, or stay onbeard a sinking ship. A dear friend texted me yesterday, going through many hardships with a son, so much hurt, so much hardship, I could feel the pain in the middle of all the words flashing across my phone…..And my dear friend battling daily her own health issues as well as her Mom’s Alzheimer’s…..

And no matter how someone says, “It’s not really them, it’s the drugs…..it’s the Alzheimer’s…..it’s the whatever” that’s doing it, you still feel the betrayal, the indifference like a knife in your heart. You still feel the fatigue of moving through quicksand each day.

And yet…..there are moments of joy, moments of grace wound throughout our days. We know we are more than conquerors, after all, it’s in the very lifeblood and DNA of our faith and it will not let us go. God gives us a supernatural hope that makes it possible to go on…..even be an encouragement to others.

There was an NPR article about the City of Stockton on the net yesterday and I felt a pang in my heart….so many good people who worked so hard to make a downtown, a marina, a beautiful park where people would want to come with their children, enjoy the weather, live life, and now it is all in jeopardy due to gross mis-management and politics and who knows what all else.

And when my brother got home to tuck into the meatloaf my Mom had made, she said he had a quizzical expression as he said, “Did you do something different to this?” Right away she knew what it was and burst out laughing. She remembered being sidetracked when she saw the syrup bottle on the counter right by the meatloaf. It was left out. And you know that when you have a special needs child around, you have to be on your toes. Lauryn had decided that the meatloaf needed a sauce…..a syrup sauce. In her mind it made perfect sense. Oh how I wish I could have been there watching her when she did it.

In the process, she gave her Daddy and Grandma, and me, when she told me about it last night, a good laugh.

And right then, we felt God’s good grace in what a little girl did.

Thoughts

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. 1 Thessalonians 4:11

There is something divine about the simplistic beauty of doing tasks around the house……around the yard. There are times when everything you set out to do seems thwarted by some sinister being you can’t see, and then there are those times where everything flows and there is a rhythm in it. One task leads to another and there is supreme satistaction that comes when a task is complete. A peacefulness.

That was today.

I wonder about the time when I will no longer be able to “do.” I think that Jesus will come back before then but I really don’t know. The way the world is going, I don’t think He can keep from coming down and straightening this mess out for very much longer. But that’s just me. I wonder about the “full number” the Bible talks about. I picture Jesus on His throne in His Nikes just waiting for that magic number to come up, and Him coming down here faster than a lightning bolt.

I wonder about the trumpet blast. I wonder if I will really be ready or if he will catch me off-guard. Every now and then I go to a movie on a Sunday, and I sincerely hope He doesn’t come back on one of those times. I have just enough Baptist in me not to want that to happen.

Funny the thoughts that float around in this little ‘ole mind of mine.

That’s me today, just thinkin thoughts and writing them down…….

Wishing you a bit of grace

Not much going on around here…..just hanging out waiting to see if there is anything good coming out of the fridge!

Actually, I am at work. Briggs is the one just hanging out. More than likely right now he is dreaming of chasing mice or catnip…..

Until I can get a bit of time to post, I am at my desk.

Hope your Saturday is going wonderfully……

To all in Rome (and the rest of the world) who are loved by God and called to be his holy people:

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 1:7

The other morning before I left for work I grabbed a Bible CD from my bookshelf. I saw that it was Romans so I put it back, (I thought) since I had just read that. When I got in the car, I heard “Romans Chapter 1”

And I was glad, because you can never read the book of Romans too often.

Happy Saturday fellow bloggers and readers!

Next time I’ll sing

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Colossians 3:16

As far back as I can remember, the sound of my Mom’s singing is woven into the background of my memories. I have talked about it before somewhere in earlier posts. Can you imagine how it must have been to hear her wonderful Soprano drifing through the windows as I walked up the driveway from school?

Of course, I didn’t appreciate it then, not nearly as much as I do now.

Last time I was back home she started singing in the car and I really wanted to sing along. The words were right on the edge….oh, I knew them, all right.  But something stopped me and I don’t even know what. Who knows, maybe someone was in the car and I was self-conscious. And ever since I got home it has bothered me that I didn’t join in. She was singing an old song…….maybe you know it.

“This world is not my home, I’m just a passin through
If Heaven’s not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven’s open door
and I don’t feel at home in this world anymore….”
She stopped singing and asked me, “Do you know that song?” I said, “Yes, of course.” Memories washed over me when she said that. We used to all get together and sing these songs and many others. Hour were spent, singing and laughing. No one cared how anyone else sounded, but really, I can remember it sounding pretty good. It sounded like joy.
I was ashamed at myself for not singing with her, for not joining in.
For not keeping the memory alive with her.
She said, “Why didn’t you sing?”
Indeed. I wish I had.
I know there will come a day when I won’t be able to sing with her, and it will make me sad beyond words. Sad that I didn’t sing with her every chance I got. But that time is, thankfully, not yet.
It strikes me that I may be the last generation to know those songs. Kids today know many things, they know Miley, and Justin…….
and Beyonce, and JLo….but they don’t know these songs about Heaven.
And it’s wrong to let them die, just because it may not be “cool” to sing them.
So the next time Mom, I will join you.
I will sing.

Joy in the morning

As dawn colored the sky this morning, I couldn’t help but think that God knew that we would need such a greeting to start the day, and close it too.
Through all the worrying that goes on after dark,
all the tossing and turning.
The mulling over of everything we should have done….
or have left to do.
This I pray for all of us today.
That in all the rushing around of this season,
that we treasure each other and the time we have together.
Help us to have open and honest conversations….
not rushed.
Conversations that bring light and healing to hearts and ears.
Help us bring relief in our actions and a presence of calm.
Help us to be eager to bring relief to anxious and weary eyes.
Help us Lord, to enjoy each other’s company, knowing that though the river
of time never stops…..
That rather than just swimming furiously
or allowing it to carry us swiftly downstream,
we can stop and sit on the shore
for awhile.
Shoulder to shoulder,
quietly watching the beauty of it
flow by.
Thank you Lord for the joy that came yesterday as we decorated the house.
It shimmers with You!
Amen