Reflection

Meditating on His Love

“Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
“In that day,” declares the LORD,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master.
Hosea 2:14-16

This is how much He loves us!

Why is it always easier to anticipate God’s wrath than to perceive God’s joy? Ever expecting to be shot, we’re invariably dumbfounded by a grace we can’t conceive. Belden C. Lane, The Solace of Fierce Landscapes
Kind of like finding water in the desert……
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance.
Isaiah 40:12
Sometimes you don’t need very many words at all, you just need to sit quietly and and find His love in the stillness of little moments throughout the day….and always, remember to listen to the birds no matter what.

My favorite Bible

I have several Bibles, but there is one that is my favorite. I call it “Big Red.” I purchased it as a special edition they had available at church after I attended a “Walk thru the Prophets” seminar back in 1980. When I first got it, I had just re-committed my life to Christ and so I clung to it as a life preserver, devouring its pages. I thought it was the most beautiful Bible I had ever seen. The gilding on the side had a magical sheen to it and I loved the way it looked as the lamplight hit it. I drank it in like the bread of life that it is.
It has many pages of notes taken from many different sermons, Bible studies, and thoughts of my own thrown in. I can page through them and see a bit of my personal history, and it warms me to see all that God has done through the years. I see the year our choir performed Handel’s Messiah and my brother gave his life to the Lord, gallantly striding up the aisle in his white shirt, a grown man looking purposeful and humble all at the same time.  Thoughts I wrote that same morning sitting out in my parent’s yard on Easter, just before the sun came up. I can still feel the peaceful beauty of that morning like a cloak wrapped around me.  
I see a bit of my church history also, which is rather colorful. There are notes from churches I attended in my hometown of Lodi California, Sacramento, Woodbridge, and Chandler and Mesa, Arizona.
It started out Burgundy red leather, and rather stiff, but now it is faded and supple. I had to glue the spine back together  awhile back, and time has dulled the luster of gold from the edges. The words within, however, burn brighter than ever. They have not faded, but only become more brilliant with time. 
There were also seasons in my life when it collected dust, I thought my own wisdom was better.  
There are yellow highlights all the way through it, although much more in some places than others, and there are places where tears of both sorrow and joy have spilled onto the pages. Everyone who touches it touches a part of me. The words in it have comforted me more times than I can count and it comes along to my “closet” when I pray. It is my faithful companion.
Bibles have always played a special part in many family histories. My Mom has my Grandfather’s German Bible, and I have my Mom’s special one, which used to be mine. Remember “The Way” version that came out in the seventies? My best friend has her Grandmother’s and Grandfather’s and I also have my late husband’s Bible that he got from an old girlfriend!
My Grandmother thought that all Bibles had to be black (or white for Baptism) and she only recognized the King James version.
How about you? Do you have a favorite? What has it meant to you? I would love to hear about it!
“Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105

Starting the Day Right


PSALM 143:8-10

Let the morning bring me Word
of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on levelground.

I started the day the only safe way to start it….By rolling out of bed, placing my forehead to the carpet and uttering a prayer….first for strength, then a thank you for another day on the earth….for my health, for the miracle of being able to start again. All over the world, others are waking too. Some with prayers, some with curses, some with a combination of both.

Really, I start the day with an advantage. An advantage of weakness. A knowledge that I can’t do this on my own. When I am off work, I don’t start off nearly this needy. But I should, since I have no guarantee of what may happen on any given day only that You walk beside me.

So I gave my day over, and whatever happens. God is in it. And it will be good because He is with me.

The most wonderful moment of the day is that when creation in it’s innocence asks permission to “be” once again, as it did on the first morning that ever was. Thomas Merton

Merry-Go-Rounds and Roads

Looff Carousel 1911, Santa Cruz Boardwalk

Many summer weekends were spent at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk when I was a kid in California. Disneyland had nothing on it as far as I was concerned. It was pure magic. Oh, the memories of that Boardwalk! Corn dogs, called Pronto Pups that seemed a foot high, entering the Fun house through the clown’s mouth, riding the train and anticipating when that roaring dinosaur was going to rise up from the lake, standing at the fudge shop window watching the taffy pulling machine, mesmerized as it pulled and pulled and never broke. And the beach…..

Holding it all together in the middle of that magic, the piece De resistance was the Carousel. All I had to do was hear that organ music and I was over the top. Keep in mind, I camped growing up. We didn’t stay in fancy hotels. We didn’t have the money and also, my folks thought is was important to teach us about nature. I’m so glad they did. So this Merry-Go-Round was for me, the highlight of our visit. I had my favorite horses, always the ones with head reared back, teeth bared. (I must’ve thought those went faster)

I am happy to say that my niece has inherited my love of this Merry Go Round as well. I got to go on it with her one of my trips back home and I felt the same rapturous joy as I did all those years ago. My brother even caught the ring!

What started this whole memory was that my friend and I were talking after church Sunday and I asked her if she got excited about that Merry Go Round as well, since she used to go there as a kid too. I expected her to light up with the same memory I had. “No,” she said, “I never really saw the purpose, you just go round and round and never get anywhere.” Well, yeah, there is that…..Instead, she shared a special memory of her own with me. She said one of the highlights of her childhood was when she and her brother got a quarter a-piece and went to the store and each picked out a matchbox car. Back then they came in a little box. Her job was to build the roads.

They would come home and she would build elaborate structures out of mud, complete with bridges with support beams underneath, freeways, overpasses, and tunnels. Even back then, she had the mind of an engineer. Her parents never even knew it. When she went to high school and tested extremely high in math and engineering, the counselor told her she better think of something else to do with her life, “because girls just don’t do these things.” After that she pretty much lost interest in the whole educational system.

But God doesn’t care about what some counselor says. Years later she ended up doing engineering work anyway at Intel, Corp. And she is still building things. She can visualize anything and build it, she is a project queen and should definitely have her own show on HGTV. She is a bridge builder between people, in every job she has ever had, she has been asked to be a mediator when situations needed smoothing out.

When God creates you to do a certain thing, it glorifies Him when you are doing those things!

I have always felt a compulsion to write, and I know that comes from God. That is how He created me. Sometimes I have no idea if anything I write makes sense but I still do it because I feel it’s one of the things God made me to do. Sometimes I feel my prayers go round in circles because I still see so many things in me that need changing. But as I look back at all these quiet times of prayer, I see a closeness I have with the Lord now that I didn’t have before. It is a beautiful sculpture that I can only see glimpses of, but when I close my eyes it comes into focus. I see and hear the music, the colors, the joy….and God behind it all. Sometimes life does seem like one big circle, but we can say, victoriously, this is a circle that has purpose. It has no end, and it only gets better!

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:12,13

Prayers with no words….

Windows at St. Mary’s Church, Google Images

Forever O Lord, Thy Word is settled in Heaven……Psalm 119:89

This morning I let my prayer be silence. I meditated on everything I have prayed for before. God has them, I know it. Safe in His golden bowl, He keeps them. This morning it seemed right to just give Him a silent offering. I made a blank canvas, as blank as I could anyway, thoughts always seem to crowd in, and carved out an empty place for God to fill.

Today I rest in who He is, I meditate of His power, glory, omnipotence, love….

Sometimes you just need to see what comes back in the silence, so I made my soul as still as an empty church. Sometimes you just need to make yourself a living Psalm, fill yourself up with your need for God, your need for answers, your need to know He is listening. So today I sat in the hush of His peace, silence of no words. The mourning dove cooing on the eaves of the neighbor’s roof prayed eloquently for me today.

In meditating on His strength, I become acutely aware of my weakness and utter inability to do anything apart from Him. That is a good place to start the day.

After all, as the Psalmist says…..Forever O Lord, Thy Word is settled in Heaven……Psalm 119:89Whatever happens and however out of control you feel, God remains in control. This is a comforting thought.

Thankful today for the peace that only He can give……#411 doves gentle call, #412 prayers in silence, #413 soft music that soothes, #414 the wisdom of His word spoken through wise friends, #415 cats soft purr, #416 real hugs, #417 laughter that heals the soul, #418 much needed rain in the desert, #419 family that taught me His love, #420, the Holy Spirit who puts our soul at rest…..
holy experience

Morning Prayer

Sea of Galilee, Google Images

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35

There must be some time of day when the man who makes plans forgets his plans, and acts as if he had no plans at all. There must be a time of day when the man who has to speak falls very silent. And his mind forms no more propositions, and he asks himself: Did they have a meaning?

There must be a time when the man of prayer goes to pray as if it were the first time in his life that he had ever prayed, when teh man of resolutions puts his resolutions aside as if they had all benn broken, and he learns a different wisdom:

Distinguishing the sun from the moon, the stars from the darkness, the sea from dry land, and the night sky from the shoulder of a hill. Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

Thank you Lord for the quiet hours of dawn, when the world is just beginning to stir and wake. There is nothing quite like the early morning prayer. I feel a closeness with You, knowing You felt the need too, to rise early and meet Your Father. Before the day begins, we come in faith and hope, not knowing for sure what the day will bring, but knowing that You will be in it and through it. And in my mind I see others too, bringing their own offering. I feel a kinship with them, Lord, in these quiet moments, as I add my prayers to other voices, as You set the earth, the planets, this place of beauty in motion once again…..

The glory of being human


It is a glorious destiny to be a member of the human race, though it is a race dedicated to many absurdities and one which makes many terrible mistakes: yet, with all that, God Himself gloried in becoming a member of the human race. A member of the human race! To think that such a common realization should suddenly seem like news that one holds the winning ticket in a cosmic sweepstakes.

I have the immense joy of being a member of a race in which God became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. And if everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun. Meditation from Thomas Merton: A Book of Hours

As awoke this morning at 4:00 AM I wasn’t exactly glorying at being human. I would much rather have slept and gloried a bit later, but just the same, somewhere in my spirit I echoed these thoughts of Merton. What a miracle to be able to get up, live another day healthy enough to work, to praise God for the fact that I am even here….every minute we have on this earth is a treasure and a blessing because God holds us in His mighty palm. Whatever comes my way today, Jesus be my strength!

In spite of my weakness, my frailty and failures, help me be a blessing to someone today, Lord. Amen

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Prayer Thoughts…..

Greer, Arizona

The thought sunk like a stone in my being during prayer this morning. It was out of the blue, I was sitting there in quiet meditation and this thought came: “God is not all that concerned about your happiness.” What?? Where did that come from? The thought hit like a minor chord and stuck in my brain. I stopped praying and asked God what He meant by that. I waited……

“I am not here for you, you are here for Me.”

“But God,” I thought, “I am an American, you know, life liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all that.”

“Yes, well that isn’t in my Book anywhere, go read about my Disciples.”

Ouch.

What does God want from me, from any of us? He deserves my whole self. A heart that is completely His. Undivided with the world. A world that everyday clamors for attention. It shouts, it screams, it jumps up and down and waves its hands wildly.

God whispers.

He cares deeply about me, but He cares even more about His lost sheep, those who aren’t His yet. Today I got a lesson that I wasn’t expecting. A thought that snuck up on me unawares. It made me stop, re-evaluate myself, pay attention to what God was trying to tell me.

I seek happiness. God says lose your life so you can find it. He wants me to be a light in the darkness around me, even if it means doing something that makes me uncomfortable. To my way of thinking God seems to do things backwards. But then I remember how much higher His thoughts are than mine. I seek happiness, and in the end I get something much better. When I seek His kingdom first, I get showered with the fruits of the spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22,23

Thank you Lord, for helping me to realize again that you have already given me everything I could possible need, want or desire in the person of Jesus Christ!

The Gift of Memory


Remembering, we settle into the rocker on the front porch, the front porch of our minds, and gaze out at the view. Sorting through, we pull up the pleasant memories and settle in for awhile. The view is great, and it’s good to remember. Memory is one of God’s best gifts. Practicing selective memory we can even edit out the ones that weren’t so great and go on to the ones that were. Or if there weren’t any, we can even manufacture our own version of the past.

My friend and her brother had an interesting conversation with their Mom once. Their memory was decidedly much different than hers was. You see she worked all the time, wasn’t home, they signed their own report cards and what they heard most of the time growing up amidst the chaos was, “Get out of the house, I need to sleep!” She was saying that she made them cookies growing up. They both looked at each other incredulously, for she had never made a cookie in all their childhood. She didn’t like desserts, so they didn’t get them either. But they do remember making macaroni and cheese together in the middle of the night, that’s one memory they hold onto.

Ask yourself what your child will remember of their childhood. What sights, sounds, smells, images will take them back, and will it be good? Will they remember laughter, or stony silence? Animated dinner conversation or the crackling air of irritation, impatience, anger. Will they remember trips taken as a family with pleasure or will they associate those trips with a sense of anxiety?

The wonderful thing about all memories good, bad or indifferent, is that they can draw us closer if we let them. Even the bad times have a wonderful way of bonding us together when we have traveled down the road a bit. We just have to let them do their work.

God has a memory book called the Bible. It is His Book of Remembrance. If we keep it close we will always remember who He is and who we are. It is His way of saying, “This is what happened, and it is a part of you too, it is your heritage, filled with stories of My people and yours. Read it, live it, and it will become part of you. Most importantly, it will carry you into eternity with Me.”

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Deuteronomy 11:18

Not only that, the Bible is a living book, just like we are all living memories of what has come before and what will come after….

Keeping memories alive today with the counting……#401 opening tent flap disheveled to first heavenly cup of coffee, #402 a juice bar at the end of a hike, #403 rain on tent roof, #404 Mom’s hands curling my hair for picture day, #405 brother and I getting in trouble for laughing at Grandma’s table, #406 warm fronts, cold backs around campfire, #407 getting inside inner tube and rolling down Aunt’s hill, #408 something baked from scratch waiting on counter after school, #409 the sound of metal skates on cement, #410, watching Dad sketch and make a beautiful drawing from nothing…..

holy experience

God Wants You


We can say that God is love and we would be speaking the truth. But in order to fully understand His love, we must grasp His holiness as well. I hear many messages of God’s love and it is good to be reminded of it, but if we preach love only and leave out His holiness, we make God less than what He is. We diminish His character. We leave out what makes His love so perfect and complete. When we understand how Holy God is, and how completely hopeless our situation is apart from Christ, we begin to see the depth of His sacrifice and love. He didn’t want us to be shut out from His presence, it grieved Him so much that He sacrificed a part of Himself, His Son. “I and the Father are One” John 10:30 Only an unimaginably terrible parent would be unaffected by the suffering of their child.

God has not left one thing undone, and there is now absolutely nothing to prevent us from drawing close, being ushered into His presence as His very own sons and daughters. This is what He has always wanted. Don’t we all want a love like that? A love that says, no matter how far you stray, I will do everything I can to get you back, even if it means inflicting pain on Myself! Not only that, He gives us a new identity. You never have to feel misplaced again, unwanted, stranded on the island of misfit toys, without a place to belong.

We serve a God who does not sit on His hands, idly disinterested in the events of the world. Even now He fights for us……”Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died–more than that, who was raised to life–is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” Romans 8:34

That means we never have to go through anything alone again….

God is in the thunder that rolls, and the lightning that splits the sky, but He is also in the gentle breeze that whispers our name. The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3