Reflection

Finding God in the Landscape

Man’s heart away from nature becomes hard. ~Standing Bear
“Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds…..” Psalm 148:7-10
Last evening I went for a walk, I just had to get out…..see a bit of the mountain silhouette against the sky. The Lord originally placed us in a garden, I believe we were meant to gaze on vistas, sit beside still waters. I think when we forget our place in the landscape we go a little bit crazy. We wonder why we get so angry at little things, like when something gets stuck on a clothes hanger and we break the hanger trying to remove it.
That is always a clue to me that I need to go out and get back in touch with a bit of nature……remember my place in it, remember how big God is and how constant. I just get a bit lost sometimes. It strikes me again that the life that most of us are living is unnatural, I really don’t think we were meant for all this chaos.
Our world today is filled with noise, movement, activity and stress. Sometimes it just all sneaks up on us,  
like it snuck up on me last night. I saw the cars whizzing by the freeway between the houses, but beyond that was the mountain……
Nature is the compass that God uses to set me right. Sometimes it doesn’t even take a very big dose. I think when we forget to notice nature, we forget to notice God.

photos from public domain pictures

God loves the unloved……..

“Now Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah’s eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance.” Genesis 29:16,17

Some translations say that Leah had “weak eyes.” Maybe she was nearsighted or farsighted, maybe she just had small eyes. We don’t know for sure. I can relate to this right now. About 3 weeks ago I got new progressive lenses. I noticed about a year ago that I was having a hard time reading. For a book addict like me, this was a problem. So I went to Big Lots and got a three pack of readers for five bucks. They work great, but I still needed my others for distance. I was tired of constantly taking glasses on and off. I was constantly misplacing them.

About $500.00 later, I walked out the door with two shiny new pair. The first thing I noticed that the ground rose up to meet me. For three weeks I felt like I was walking on a slanting sidewalk. I didn’t know where to put my eyeballs. I am used to just looking through glasses in one place. Now I had to put them one place to see, and one place to read. After battling with taking them back, I was on the way to the Mall to turn them in and I suddenly felt like they were do-able.

I identify with Leah. I think we all do. She was overshadowed by Rachel the beautiful. She probably felt very average and unremarkable standing next to her sister, the one everyone wanted to be around, the one everyone complimented. Furthermore, she knew that Jacob loved her sister, not her. But God took notice of her. I love that: “When the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren. So Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben; for she said, “The LORD has surely looked on my affliction. Now therefore, my husband will love me.”

I have to admit, when I read that passage I want to pump my fist in the air and say, “Yeah, Leah!” “Yeah, God!” I say it for every girl that has stood in the background at the dance, for every girl picked last in the Sports lineup. For every girl who has felt unremarkable and unloved.
While Rachel still could not conceive, Leah had four sons. What is more, the lineage of Jesus Christ our savior comes through Judah, Leah’s fourth son. “And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Now I will praise the LORD.” Therefore she called his name Judah.Then she stopped bearing. Genesis 29:35

I like what this all says about God. He notices the one everyone else doesn’t. That is the small part of what I noticed when I read these passages, and that is the part I rested on in my meditation. Who wins in the end? It is hard to say. Jacob probably loved Rachel the most, and also did favor his two sons by her.
In the end, we all win, we all got a Savior!

Eternity in our hearts

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

Jesus first, humbled Himself. He descended to our earthly estate. In this “lower” life, we are all tempted constantly to live according to the flesh, tempted to base our thinking and actions only on what we can see and hear and feel and know with human senses. This is the lower estate into which Jesus came. By His obedience to the Father and His own suffering He entered into our “valley of tears.” Only when we take the same position–obedience to God, patience in all the He leads us through–do we begin to “ascend” in Him. In lowliness we find our heights. Those who want to ascend to spiritual heights without passing through the valley of humility find themselves turned back. Augustine, Homilies on the Psalms:1 
 
Last night I sat outside and watched the moon come up. I was talking to my Mom on the phone. She had  been going through drawers, sorting out memories. She found many things…….read the words of my sister in law, now in Heaven, found the recording of my husband’s funeral. In the remembering she went through all the emotion…..heard their voices again, felt their presence, held them close. As we talked, we felt the curtain between this life and the next lift. It didn’t seem so far away…….We talked of Heaven, and I said, “Do you think that when we are all together once again there in that place, enraptured in the joy of knowing that it will never end, that we will remember this night?”
 
She said, “I don’t know.”
 
I think that when we are there in that place looking around at the faces, feeling the expansion of joy and love that we never dreamed possible, that maybe our minds will brush lightly against the memory of it as something we once held dear. Then we will rejoice all the more, for the absence of the sorrow we left behind.
 
“Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness.” Isaiah 35:10
Picture from public domain pictures by Barb Ver Sluis

A Different Kind of Lent

“Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” 2 Corinthians 4:10

A couple weeks ago I was praying and speculating about whether to give up something for Lent. Being raised in a Baptist church, we didn’t do Lent, but I have always liked the tradition. Coffee, books, sugar….those are the things that came to mind right away. I was keeping my heart open……Soon after that, events transpired that made it necessary for my best friend’s mother to move in with us. Suddenly we had to figure out how to make a two bedroom house big enough for three.

My self-sacrificing friend is now sleeping in the Arizona room, which the cats had previously taken over. She gave up her room to her Mom. At first the cats gave the bed a wide berth, a bit apprehensive when they saw it being wheeled out to “their” room, but they are now thrilled at having another place to sleep.

She has a tough job. Her folks are not easy to care for. They are not positive people and never have been. They have taken much and given little. There is one consolation when all is said and done, she will know that there is not one thing more she could have done for them.

There are times, however, when this is not much consolation, especially when your own sanity is in question.
In spite of everything, she remains positive, gracious and a joy to be around. I don’t know how she does it, but then again I do…..loads of Grace, and Prayer. Did I mention her Mom has Alzheimer’s?

In the midst of insanity, and chaos, and stress, there was some humor yesterday.

The remote control was ringing

Lipstick seemed like a good idea on cheeks

She lost her pants, which were in plain sight on the dresser

She programmed the microwave for 1 hour and 55 minutes to heat coffee

And this was all within the first hour of the day. When she saw her Mom furiously scrubbing her face at the bathroom mirror she figured out what she did. And then they both had to laugh…..Grace. Life and death side by side. Things like Alzheimer’s have a way of making death more visible and just when you think it is gone forever the old life comes back……that’s what makes it tough.

And every time we give up something and make room for His grace we wear a bit of the sacrifice of Jesus.

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

Ashes to ashes……

Yet even now, says the Lord,
Return to me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
Rend your hearts and not your clothing.

Today I will wear ashes not on my forehead, but I will be wearing them on my heart. I wasn’t raised in the tradition of ashes, in fact I can’t remember ever seeing someone wearing ashes on Ash Wednesday. My own denomination didn’t do that, but sometimes I wish they had. This morning though, I realized something about myself when I was meditating on everything this season means. I was thinking of my habits. How much do they control me, my little rituals?

I am one of those people who love the little things. By the time I get up, my coffee is done. I would never buy one without an auto-setup. That first cup is eagerly anticipated, coveted. It gets me up  in the morning…..And my books, my piles of books. I have them organized, the ones I am reading now in a stack by the bed, and the ones next on the list on another pile in my bookshelf. I am riddled with habits, rituals.

When did they start controlling me? How easily could I let them go? Lent starts all these questions for many people. What should I give up? I tend to want to control that too. I am going about it all wrong just in the question itself. “What should I give up?” As if it is my decision!…..I am worse off than I thought.

I realized it is an open heart He wants. A pliable, yielding heart……one He can work with.

Return to the Lord, your God,for he is gracious and merciful,


slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love,


and relents from punishing.

It saddens me that we don’t see people wearing ashes anymore. It seems we are too cool for that. I hear the lament all the time, “Nothing is sacred anymore.” It does seem to be true. We used to close businesses on Sundays. Then we stopped selling alcohol on Sundays. Then it was changed to selling it after noon. When nothing is sacred anymore, everyone loses.

I admire Chick-fil-a for sticking to their guns and remaining closed. I am glad they are so successful. They understand that when you do things God’s way, you will be blessed. And even if you are not, you did what you knew to be right.

Today I will be wearing ashes on my heart, the ones God put there. I will try my best to keep it open and soft…..and to release all those little things I hold so dear.

"Thar’s gold in them thar hills…."

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121

I get to have this view every evening when I come home, the beautiful and mysterious Superstition Mountains. Their presence comforts me somehow, they are so strong, so steadfast, so solid. I always think of this Psalm when I gaze up at its beauty, especially when the last rays of the sun turn it a deep magenta.

Somewhere up there, the legend says, the Lost Dutchman’s Gold Mine is hidden. It was named after German Immigrant Jacob Waltz, and said to be the most famous lost mine in the U.S. Many have looked for the mine since the late 1800’s and so far it has never been found.
Moses found treasure one day on a mountain. He didn’t find gold, but something much better, he found God. When I look at these mountains I always think of Moses coming down with those tablets, his face glowing like the sun…..

I can always find God on the mountain.

One particular evening when the sun was doing its magenta magic, I was standing in our community clubhouse. I approached the door because from there you get an unblocked view of the mountain range. Standing in the doorway was a sweet elderly lady who is very sick. She was going home early because she didn’t feel well that night. She paused at the door way, looked up and caught her breath at the magnificent view and said in a hushed voice, “I think God lives up there.”

I said, “Yes, I think He does too!”

Which type are you?

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3:8

Today I am continuing my thoughts and reflections from John 3. Yesterday I came to rest on this section of verse 8: “you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” I stopped……. It seems that Jesus is saying here that I have to be ready at a moments notice to go where He sends, where He leads. This verse was somewhat convicting to me…….I am not crazy about spontaneity, I only like planned change, when I decide!


I am a person who likes to dig in, settle down, burrow in, put down roots. I don’t like uprooting, moving, or picking up stakes. I lived in my hometown for the first 30 years of my life. Then I moved to two different states…..but I wasn’t crazy about it. I did it for work. I am a long term person, I was at my first job for 14 years, and the one I have presently for 15. If I were a vegetable I think I would be a potato, very comfortable and secure in my warm happy place until final harvest. It takes a lot to make me move!
 
When I was a kid, whenever we would come across a dandelion that had gone to seed we just had to blow it. That is just what we did. We didn’t have all the sophisticated games we have now so we had to invent our own. The challenge was to not leave one seed attached left after just one puff…….I was thinking how this relates to God and me and John 3:8. The Holy Spirit, working in me will blow those seeds onto whomever I am rooted next to. Sometimes He needs to help me along by a powerful gust, and sometimes He needs to do something drastic and rip me out by the roots and blow me another direction. This can be a very painful process……and yet, I can see why it is necessary.
 
The truth is, God needs both kinds of people, movers and shakers, and those who like to stay put. He is able to work equally well with both types of personalities. Sometimes I beat myself up for not being more willing to move, to go where He sends, and I am sure others beat themselves up for not being more stable, for always bolting at the next opportunity. He works patiently with each of us, in all of our glorious individuality moving us this way and that.

I think the key is to be open…….to listen with an open heart, to hear and obey when He speaks. To be ready. And He won’t hate me if I don’t, He will lovingly keep prodding me along.

I think a good writing project would be to describe what kind of vegetable you are and why?

The Best Prayer

A simple offering of love….
A prayer that says, “I love you, God.”
Not for anything You have done, but for who You are.
Sometimes those are the best prayers.
Because isn’t that sometimes what you want as a parent?
Doesn’t it make your whole day, to have them run up…..
in the middle of whatever they were doing before
just to give a breathless, “I love you…..”
How does it feel to hear it and know they mean it?
And something changes within the child too…….
Soul of parent and child expand, connect.
A love reunited from ages past and one that will go on
ages from now…..a precious bloom for His eternal collection.
The Holy Spirit smiles……
We warm from inside out.
“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,” 1 Peter 1:8

The Phantom Christian

“So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;  but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.” Romans 7:21-23

Bob George introduces a concept in his book, “Classic Christianity”, that intrigued me, and I immediately recognized what he describes as the Phantom Christian syndrome. It is that image we all have in our head of the person we think God expects us to be. What we expect ourselves to be. You know the one…..the one that never fails to get up early for morning devotions, is at church every time the doors open, volunteers their time sacrificially every weekend, leads Bible studies, never blows up, excels at work and has everyone in rapt attention by their wonderfully interesting devotions around the table at dinner.

The way he describes it is really quite ridiculous, and he means it to be. Do we really think God will love us more if we do all these things? Sometimes I confess I do. I even do it with blogging. Sometimes I think you will love me more if I can just manage to capture those perfect and illustrious posts that I see in my head. The ones that always come out clear and evoke beautiful thoughts and emotions. But the truth is, that is not what God wants any of us to do. He just wants me to be the very best me I can be, expressing in my own words the things He wants me to say. Just like you.

Sometimes it helps to know that others are struggling just like we are, especially those we don’t expect, like the Apostle Paul. When I was at my Mom’s Bible study last week, a lady I greatly admire for her faith and boldness in talking to people about the Lord said that she is a bit upset at the way God not only allowed but actually orchestrated the tragic events in Job’s life. I was surprised, and I admit also a bit comforted by her confession.

It all comes full circle back to Christ. He is the only one who can give us the power and the victory to be the person He wants us to be. The one we are becoming. He sees us as we will be…….And He loves us right now where we stand. He sees the million small decisions we make to be better, to not blow up, to pray more, turn our eyes to Him when we see a beautiful full moon, and thank Him.
“The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:56, 57

photo by Jon Luty http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/

Don’t miss the moment……

“Just the simple observations of a quiet morning walk can sometimes have the power to set the whole world right“….this was taken out in the back forty of my brother’s yard.
Coming home, I realize as always that I have brought them all back with me. I hear their voices still in the quiet moments of reflection. This trip was so good on so many levels. We arrived, my friend and I, on the heels of a storm, a very windy one. We blew good weather in it seems, for the whole week we were there it dawned sunny and bright……unseasonably so. It seems we brought the good weather of Arizona and they were all happy we did. 
The trip all started with a phone call. My Mom told me that my cousin had arranged for a group to attend the performance of  “In the Mood.” It started me to thinking……how often will we all be able to get together like this again, my two Aunts, my cousin, my Mom and I? My friend also needed to see her brother, it was time.
Ever have a trip that seemed God ordained? The timing was right for so many things……This trip was like a string of miracles, one after another. Every now and then a trip works out that way.
How wonderful to be heralded by a little head looking out the window in anticipation of my arrival. She was standing on the bed and as soon as she saw me she started jumping up and down.
My friend went on to Modesto, her home town, where she got to spend two wonderful days on a mostly deserted beach in Moss Landing. From her description, I felt I went there myself. It was a good time for just the two of them, and I prayed that they would get to do that together. Another answered prayer…..
And another miracle, she got to attend church with her Nephew, who has been reunited with his wife, now clean and off drugs….both of them now off the street with their six children, all of them in church and doing remarkably well. To think that so much heartache and pain could lead to this? Only God could do that……so many sleepless nights, so many tears and prayers shed for them. To be able to put all that aside and extend grace to them now, that’s Holy Spirit work!
She was also reunited with a friend of long ago, now a Christian too, and clean and sober after many years of addiction. There was much joy in their reunion, sisters now and friends again twenty years down the road….
Even little miracles happened on this trip……I wandered into Tom’s Used Books, never hoping to find a book I was looking for, since it was several years old, and there on the shelf was one copy!
I got to attend an event in my Old High School auditorium that has now been turned into a theater. I would go again in a heartbeat, it was great! Afterwards we went to my Aunt’s house where she layed out a wonderful buffet, complete with champagne. I know it would have been easy for her not to do it. My Uncle suffers from severe dementia and she is his caretaker now….but still, she created a magical evening for us. It was a precious time spend with wonderful friends and family.
One of the best memories I brought back was when my Mom, my Aunt and I sang at the piano just like we used to for so many years….we sang the old hymns together as my cousin held the flashlight, (My Uncle has broken all the lightbulbs)
All my life I have been surrounded by strong people who in spite of much hardship, have never lost the miracle of the moment. They have taught me how to slow down enough to see the magic happening all around us, all of the time……What a gift! How blessed I am to have learned that lesson from them.
photos taken with iphone