Prayer

Are you ready?

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:66-69

I had just finished reading John chapter 6 during my prayer time a few mornings ago. I closed my eyes as I digested all I had read……this chapter is swirling with action. I needed to reflect for a moment on all I had read. It was just getting light out and I heard a dove calling from a few houses away. My little candle was flickering away silently casting a reflection in the little shop window.

I was surprised by a question that was breathed into my heart…..I had just read that saddest of verses, the one where many of Jesus disciples hit the road. It was another instance where Jesus had just finished confounding people with the truth, and it wasn’t want they wanted to hear.

“Are you ready to be my Disciple?” that was the question I heard.

I sat there conflicted. “Of course I am,” I thought. But then I remembered how many of them ended up.

And what was required. Am I ready to take a plunge off a 500 foot drop? Am I ready to commit the rest of my life to a God who commands the wind and the rain? Who can speak the world into existence? Who is many times unpredictable and scary? Am I ready to go wherever He asks? Wherever He leads?

Then I thought about life itself. If someone would have asked me when I came into this world, knowing what I know now, all I would go through, would I have so been quick to say, “Bring it on?”  I most likely would  have said no, I am not ready. Who is ever ready? 

But do I want to do it anyway, also knowing what I know now? And has it been worth it thus far?

To that I can give a resounding, and emphatical “Yes.”

God, in His great wisdom, chooses to bring us through a bit at a time. He allows some pain for growth, but also baptizes us with joy and wraps us in His love and comfort through His Holy Spirit.

That is where I stand today and rejoice along with the 12, for as Peter so rightly said,  “To where would we go?”

Indeed.

Thank you Lord, for giving me the chance at this wonderful adventure of following you. Everything this world has to offer pales in comparison to what You have to give. Amen

I love you God, but…….

“Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God…….Exodus 3:1

“I love you, God…..” But after I said it, I could hear how it sounded to my own ears. What must it have sounded like to God’s? I was weary of myself so I could understand how He could be weary of me. Of my same prayers…….my same requests. I was feeling like a bad actor before a Holy God. And the act of sitting out there felt like a charade this morning.

Here I am Lord, again. Don’t you get tired of me Lord? I would if I were you. It was a prayer, but there was a “but” behind my “I love you” that didn’t belong.

If I knew how Holy the ground was beneath my feet, these Teva sandals would be off my feet in a New York minute. The truth is, sometimes it is just hard to feel the Holy when we are down here on what feels right now like a grubby little planet. The dirt and debris has piled up near the door from yesterday’s dust storm and I stepped through it to make my way to Him, to the place of our morning meeting.

I’m still the same old me. I have not lost the ten pounds I wanted to lose by the trip to California in July and the month is half over. I will shock everyone with the blinding white of my skin when I put on my bathing suit. I also need to dye my roots.

And today my prayers sounded more like exasperated sighs than reverence for you.

I wasn’t feeling it today. But I know better now. I have learned you can’t always trust feelings. I am, however haltingly, learning to trust Him.

I turned where He directed, to the story of Moses. I wanted to read about the bush that God lit with Holy fire and it didn’t burn up. And then God taught this slow learner another lesson. He showed me that Moses was a big bundle of inadequacy and nerves and fear just like me…..

The words were truth…..leaping out through the pages. Moses was just like me. Over and over again, he tried to convince God of all that he wasn’t.

But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” 

God answered, “I will be with you.”

And later on……after God explained all the wondrous signs and miracles He would do, Moses protests once again……“What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?”

Lesson number two came when God told Moses to grab his staff which has now turned into a snake.

Sometimes you have to grab hold of that snake before God produces the miracle.

Moses then proceeds to work on God’s last nerve, and boy don’t I do that every single day?

Yet God is so full of love for Moses that he produces some help in the form of Aaron. Then the tears came and once again my love for God was as real as the flame in that bush. And there was my prayer, and this time it was real…..

And no buts about it.

A little bird told me

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31

This verse comes just about in the middle of Chapter 10 when Jesus is sending His disciples out two by two. I take comfort in how many times He told the disciples not to fear. I guess I shouldn’t take comfort in that, that they feared, but I do. Let’s face it, the world out there can be a scary place.

Each day He sends us out too, and we never know who or what we might run into.

I guess that’s why I like birds……they remind me that God takes record of every one that falls from the sky and He is taking care of me too.

When I look at this little guy, a little ordinary brown sparrow, I see a master Designer at work. I see a hundred different shades of grey, brown, tan. I look at how the feathers fold so neatly together, how those little feet can grip just about anything. Perfectly suited to their environment.

God has placed His Own Spirit within us, so that we may be totally effective. Not only that, like this little bird, when we are controlled by the Spirit, we are perfectly suited to go out into the world and be God’s hands and feet. But it’s a battle, no doubt about it. At times I read that list of the gifts of the Spirit and I see where I am glaringly lacking.

There are far too many times I take the Spirit places He should never be, with my thoughts, my words, my actions.

And yet, still He strives with me.

Sometimes I pretend, it’s just me and Jesus. And He’s giving me a pep talk in my morning prayer. That is what it really comes down to, every day.

Me and Jesus face to face. And In that moment when I meet Him, the world falls away, and nothing else matters. When He looks in my eyes, He sees my heart.

He still wants me.

In the Stillness

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long suffering;  bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

My prayers this morning were little more than breathing in and out. Some words came, I went down my usual list of those loved ones weighing heavy on my heart. And then as I remembered that sometimes it is okay to just be quiet and listen…..a curious thing happened.

I heard.

I heard the dove song and behind that, the freeway loading up with the morning commute. Another bird of a different kind further away. I retreated further into myself and listened for what the Holy Spirit might be praying for me. He does you know……when we can’t find the words of our own.

I picked up my old Living Bible that I had picked up off the bookshelf on the way outside. It was mine first, then my Mom’s. She carried it out  to me on the day I moved away from her, from my hometown….tears streaming down. Even now, the memory hurts because the years have flown by way too fast. I hold it to my chest, I hug it like I am holding her too.

I see my words, and hers on the front flap. Co-mingled together……Our thoughts of God married together on those pages.

My breathing slows and I meditate on the Lord and how He heals us, draws us together.

I whisper His language…..the one He gave to me, and in between the silent pauses where Heaven and earth connect……We connect, and He tells me again, that it will be okay.

Isn’t it wonderful to know that by thanking Him, we honor Him? And not only that, thanking Him does something supernatural to our heart and soul. It sifts out all the worry and fear and stress, replaces it with joy and peace. It reminds us that God is still and always in control.

846-856

A good appointment at the Doctor for Elaine and her Mom, he saw the situation as it really was, and took time with them. It was like an SOS call that was answered.

First week at new building at work and it wasn’t as stressful as I thought it would be.

Good weather holding out……knowing that soon it will be too hot to go outside for very long.

Good memories made from the trip to California.

School time again for those parents and caregivers who need a break.

New Easter flag flying, bright against the sky.

As we get ready to celebrate the week of Passion once again, we know that really, each sunrise we celebrate Easter all over again.

Found rings, which I looked all over for in a panic yesterday, they turned up in the back pocket of my jeans which I had look through three times already!

Pictures that turn out, most of the time by accident and the fact that I have a really good camera.

Lunch after church……always a special time of the week.

Childlike Faith

But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, “Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” Mark 10:12,13
When Jesus heard the disciples rebuke those parents, He in turn rebuked them. He really upset about it, in fact. I like coming back to this picture of Jesus again and again, because it is clear how much He valued the childlike faith of children.
Why is it so easy for children to believe…..to have faith in something they can’t see? Not only do they have the faith, they act on it. It is no problem for them to grasp the concept of knowing in order for something to really work, they have to put it into practice. They leave money under the pillow for the tooth fairy…..and lo and behold, the money is there when they wake up. It doesn’t really matter to them how it works, they just take it in faith that it will because their parents told them it will.
And somehow it happens just that way. That is, until they find out it was their parents all along hiding the money under the pillow and putting the cookies out for Santa.  
We forget what was once so easy…..so natural. We get too smart to put our faith in something we can’t see. Like God. But the problem is that God says that unless we do just that, we will never see Him. We will never enter His kingdom…..
So we spend the rest of our Christian walk trying to get back to that place of faith.
I miss my childlike faith. I too have cashed in on the world system. Let’s face it, it’s easier. I go to work, I get paid. I buy what I need. I get sick, I go to the doctor. Then if I don’t get better I pray.
It’s a process of going back, all our lives. Of letting go, unclenching our fists to give back to God what was His all along. I miss my childlike faith.
My Mom tells me that when I was first saved at aged 14, I was the one who really gave her the faith to give when she didn’t have it. I remember praying together for a refrigerator when ours went out. My Mom had no idea where the money would come from. There was certainly not enough for one of those. Then, God answered our prayer of faith by supplying one that was almost new…..for 25 dollars!
I remember that refrigerator lasted for years and years.
I love to watch my niece at the beach. It is no problem for her to believe she can build a castle fit for a queen out of water and sand. The water washes it away and she starts all over again……
She has faith that whatever she believes can happen.
Lord, give me that kind again.

Lord of our Harvest

Do you not say, ‘Four months more and then the harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. John 4:35

I have always wondered when people say they can’t pray. I think, Why can’t they? Praying is just talking to God. I have always felt, if you can’t pray, then you need to pray about the fact that you can’t pray……

Lately though, I have found a mountain standing in the way of my prayers. The mountain has a name and it’s name is resentment. It snuck in while I wasn’t looking. Like those weeds that choke out the Word, resentment has crept in and made itself at home in the corner of my heart. It thought I wouldn’t notice it there.

Then I noticed another thing, a very miraculous thing…….Those tares that grow side by side with the wheat? They have not been able to choke out the Thanksgiving. It has become a way of life and now it seems I can’t stop counting the blessings.

It is something Supernatural, and God Himself did it.

And now? When I focus on everything that the Lord has already given, I have a harvest where I thought there was none. It is a different harvest that the one I expected, and it seems the more I gather, the more the resentment is beat back into a dark corner where it belongs.

And here’s another thing I noticed. Now when someone says they just can’t pray?

I understand.

He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalms 126:6

Nature as prayer……

In an interview with Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Dan Rather asked her, “What do you say to
God when you pray?” She thoughtfully said, “I listen.” Flustered, he tried again. “Well, then what does God say?” Mother Teresa smiled…….”He listens.”

Yesterday I felt like the whole day was a prayer. God spoke through His creation once again……

……….and I listened. Nature speaks more clearly of God than anything else I can think of. If we only open our eyes and ears and let Him speak through it. So I give you some photos from yesterday’s trip north to a place I used to live.

The Psalmist wisely says……

“The Heavens are telling of the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the works of His hands. Day to day pours forth speech…..

And night to night reveals knowledge.

There is no speech, nor are there words; where their voice is not heard.

Indeed, God has touched every last corner of the earth with His nature, and only the coldest heart is untouched by it…..

Their line has gone out through all the earth, and their utterances to the end of the world…..

In them He has placed a tent for the sun.

It’s rising is from one end of the heavens, and its circuit to the other end of the world.

Down to the smallest detail……..God has brushed our earth with His divine fingerprints. It is up to us to find His mark…..it is everywhere!
My soul exults. I breathe a prayer of thanksgiving once again for His marvelous works.

All pictures taken in and around Payson, Arizona and Tonto Natural Bridges State Park

Evening Prayer

 
Lord our God,if I have sinned this day in word, deed or thought,
forgive me all, as the good and loving God You are.
Grant me peaceful and untroubled sleep,
and deliver me from every attack and design of the evil one.
Raise me in due time to give You glory;
for blessed are You, with Your only-begotten Son and all-holy Spirit,
now and ever and to the ages of ages. Amen.
One of my favorite moments of the day is when I lay my head on my pillow, give a sigh and say a prayer of thanks. Thanks for what I did right, and maybe what I did not so right, that I have another chance to do it all over again tomorrow, by His grace.
This morning was a tough one. I felt as if everything I have been going through lately caught up with me at once. Tears flowed effortlessly as I stumbled around in the early morning hours getting ready……..I wanted, needed to have a confirmation that God heard my prayer. Knew how I felt.
Sometimes we just need that as humans. We feel far from the angels, even though we know they are there. We need a touch. Sometimes we get the answer throughout the day……little assurances we feel.
Sometimes, He uses others to lift us up and over…..a smile here, and hand on the shoulder there.
And sometimes, like this morning. He shows us right away. It was as if a strong hand…..His, lifted me up and sent me on my way, and I was a little bewildered and amazed by it all….. awestruck that He would do that for me. But He did. Of that I have no doubt.
Thank you, loving Father, for knowing just what I need at the time I need it. I give you my days and my nights, for they all belong to You.
Your love for me is something I will spend my whole life trying to understand.
Prayer at top from source: http://www.orthodoxchristian.info/pages/Evening_Prayers.htm

When resentments cloud our prayers

“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth cannot sustain itself forever, ultimately both parties end up blind and toothless.” Gandhi

Yesterday morning prayer time was wonderful……I went outside and instead of being greeted with stifling heat I was met with a blessedly cool 75 degrees, something that is a distant memory between the months of May through early September here. And something else I have longed for, prayers accompanied by a little sprinkling of raindrops on the roof.

Afterwards, I went to look for my patriotic flag to hang for September 11 and remembered that it was a bit weather worn and I had thrown it out. I decided I needed to fly a real flag, so off I went to Walmart at 6:30 in the morning. Not many people there then. I drove home with my precious commodity and proudly hung it out…..red white and blue……glory against the backdrop of Arizona sky.

Today’s prayer didn’t go quite so well. It was clouded by a resentful thought that I could not dislodge. It came about halfway through prayer and stuck there…..

Instead of praying about it, as I should have done, I decided to keep it for awhile…..mull it over. It started me asking questions. Those irritating whys…..Forgiveness is good and right and Godly……..yet so difficult when you have to live it out day in and day out.

How do you forgive someone when they have hurt someone you love?

When you are the caretaker for someone who has never cared for you, never treated you well, wounded you emotionally?

When you don’t have to live with them it’s easy. Out of sight, out of mind. But what if they are never out of sight? What then? It’s like reopening old wounds every day.

Living out the Christian faith is easy when it’s never tested. Our faith doesn’t grow if it’s not challenged. That’s when we grow closer to Him. When we’re tested. The challenge is proof that He loves us.

It’s our love for God that motivates us to leave behind those things in us that are not Godly. Those things in me He wants me to change. The Holy Spirit does not deserve to live in a body and mind steeped in resentment….fear….anger. It helps to remember the sacrifice.

The terrible price that was paid for us. The ultimate price.  “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6: 19, 20

As I sat in a beautiful church service yesterday, remembering the sacrifice of all those people running into those burning buildings, and saw all the names of those who died streaming down the wall…….my eyes streamed too. Four candles lit, one for each plane down.

They paid with their lives for the evil someone else did. He paid with His life, for what He didn’t do.

“For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Could it be that sometimes God’s blessing comes from those who have been our biggest challenge in life? Could it be that He is heaping treasure in Heaven for us through this very person, these very circumstances that are the source of so much pain?

Is the very act of forgiveness the thing that will bring about the salvation for us all?

This one thing I know to be true…….God is building something eternal in us right here and now. It is something so big and so great we can scarcely imagine it. Everything we do with His help and by His power changes us forever.

Thankfulness wells up again, and again as I remember this…….

Prayer for Texas

A resident evacuates his home
 
 

These pictures tell the story…….1000 homes burned and thousands having to evacuate due to wildfires that are out of control. Please pray for everyone involved and for those fighting these fires. I pray for a day with little or no wind……These people have had no rain for months and conditions are so dry…..

A patio table and chair is all that is left

Father, I just pray that there will be no more deaths and that You calm the winds and comfort those who have lost their homes. Thank you for those who got out with their lives intact. I pray that they may be restored in body and spirit.

A cat rescued

May Your Holy Spirit grant them strength and help during this difficult time……………

Elaine just got off the phone with her cousin who lives in La Grange, Texas and they are ready to leave on a moments notice. There are fires surrounding them on all sides. Her two pet carriers are already by the front door, one for her cat and one for her Mom’s.  Her husband found it humorous that  she grabbed a stuffed gorilla she had given her Dad that he had kept for years, and also the military flag she recieved after his memorial service.

It’s funny, the things we reach for, what we value when all is threatened. It’s not the china or the figurines, but the things that are attached to the ones we love, the memories and pictures.

Despite it all, Sandra is still in good spirits and hoping for the best. Her Mom was at the beauty shop getting her hair and nails done. Sandra says: “I guess she wants to look good in case they have to evacuate!”

Thank you my blogging buddies, in advance for your prayers!

all photos courtesy of the LA times