Prayer

Be Grateful

In Prayer this morning I was reminded again that I have a heritage in the church that I am so grateful for. As far as I look back, I have memories of being with God’s people. Were they perfect? Not by a long shot, but in those hallowed whispered halls of quiet, I learned of God. I heard the stories of David, Samuel, Noah, so much so that they were not strangers to me. WOW, I grew up and realized that not everyone has that. I am SO grateful for every church that I attended, no matter the denomination, folks. Denominations, I believe, only seek to divide us, but we can glean what we can from them anyway if we are open to what God would teach us.

I was thinking what a wonderful thing that heritage is to pass on to the next generation. It only takes one generation to forget God entirely. I guess my point is, be grateful that you have any memories of church, however restrictive you think it was, you heard the Word spoke, and that will never move through your soul without lodging itself somewhere. That somewhere will come out when you least expect it in the words of an old hymn you thought you forgot about. Thank God that someone took you there. Maybe it was VBS where all you remember is gluing colored macaroni together to make a picture of Jesus. Thank God for it.

I remember, oh how I remember now, and I didn’t think much of it then. The rustling of choir robes right before the first note. The procession of the Cross and the Acolytes down the aisle in my short stint in the Episcopal church. Christmas programs and the brown paper sack filled with treats, and nervously trying to remember my verse when my turn came. The night my mom didn’t give in when I wanted to wear my ratty jeans to church. The large line waiting to see the very charismatic Pastor John at my aunts church. My Baptism and the way the white robe billowed around me, and proclaiming my faith at 13 barely knowing what that entailed. God chased me my whole life and now at (almost 66) I have entered an even deeper knowing of Him because a year or so ago, I realized that playing around with the world was not what I should do.

I am SO thankful today. God has been made real to me so many times in my life. Two very pronounced ways, once when I was healed of Anorexia, and once on a quiet foggy morning in an empty house near Christmas where I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit that I don’t talk about much and I will never forget. And now He has drawn near to me again, fulfilling His promise in James that says:

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double minded. James 4:8

And think about this, His Holy Spirit takes up residence inside us when we invite Him in. No matter how we have strayed or lost time, God is faithful. He won’t remind you of it, He will only welcome you back with open arms and redeem the years. That’s the kind of God we serve. I am so grateful for those Pastors and Teachers who speak the Word faithfully. Getting involved again with a Bible Study has been the best decision I have made. Listen to those wonderful sources that have the Living Water flowing through their veins. If you want to know what is going on in Israel today give these wonderful folks a listen here, and if you want sound Biblical teaching from a wonderful friend of mine go here

That is my offering today, folks. Have a blessed and peaceful weekend and remember, God is making all things new as we speak…..Where there is breath, there is hope.

Left at the Altar

(A writers lament)

In my mind I see an altar swept clean……I come before you Lord, waiting, wondering, why I find my altar stripped bare of words, bereft, swept clean. Maybe now I can write what is only for You. Maybe that’s what you wanted all along. I misplaced the words, but You can find them. Arrange them on Your altar of Holiness the way you want them, Lord. 

Fill the place in my soul that aches, tears that have dried up spring unbidden to my eyes as I acknowledge that place I remember. That calm before dawn where I sat with the cat in the swing. Nature calls but I hear traffic. Transform it Lord into something you can use. 

A Holy offering of love. I hear You say, “Those tears will do. “ Sometimes there is a Holy Gift exchange. I do believe that when we give something up here on earth, there is a rift in the clouds of Heaven. This is something I know. God has answered my prayer this year and I am eternally grateful. He has replaced my thirst for alcohol with thirst for the living water that never fails. 

I am the Samaritan woman at the well. Thank you, Jesus, that this well will never run dry. 

Oh God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63: 1

The Law (that leads to the cross)

“Oh, that they had such a heart in them, that they would fear me and keep my commandments always, that it may be well with them and with their sons forever!” Deuteronomy 5:29

This is God’s lament because even as Moses came down from the mountain with the first draft of those tablets that God fingerprinted Himself, He knew it wasn’t to be. He knew it wasn’t remotely possible. It’s human nature after all. You are cruising along in life; all is well until someone (or God) tells you something is forbidden. Even if you hadn’t thought about that “something” whatever it is, now it has your focus.

We’ve been studying Exodus in our Bible Study and as always, I am stunned and amazed at what I have culled from pages I thought I knew well. I have found that I have taken the Ten Commandments for granted. The questions are soul piercing at times. Here’s one:

How different would the world be if we followed these statutes?

The world would be instantly transformed. There would not be much news to report. If any.

As I was meditating on the Word this morning, I thought of the phrase, “All is right with the world.” Is that even remotely possible looking at the world today? It’s a fictional phrase I’ve read in many books, and maybe it used to be much easier to believe that somewhere in the world at least, the statement could be true.

We know that it isn’t. Even as we click off the news we go about the business of living and do what we can to make things right in our own world. We take comfort in the smallest of moments. We string those moments all together; we gather them close like skeins of the softest yarn, and we hold them close to our face to feel that softness before stuffing them all back in the basket.

Today I was feeling kind of distant from God. I’ve actually had a string of those days. Being a believer for so long, I have better learned to weather those days. I know He loves me, I know He’s promised to never leave, and I rest on those promises daily. I also know another thing about our Heavenly Father. He knows how to give good gifts. He specializes in unexpected moments of reassurance to surprise us. (Don’t kid yourself, these little gifts come from Him, they are not accidents)

Today I started a book. I have started and stopped so many lately. They were all MEH. This one was promising and delivered the comfort I my soul was craving. Two English girls go looking for God and a missing woman in their neighborhood FULLSTOP. Complete with assorted characters in said neighborhood. Another FULLSTOP. At last reader Mecca. GIFT.

My joy increased as I played Pandora Praise to run and get a Dutch Bros for my Bestie, (sticker day, y’know) I prayed for the people I saw pushing their carts full of stuff, I prayed for the animal shelter workers who never get a break. I prayed for the Dutch Bros peeps. And then I heard Lauren Daigle sing about “Not Enough” and even though I feel the same most of the time, I know that Jesus plus nothing makes me more than enough. ANOTHER GIFT.

I wish we could post those 10 Commandments everywhere, because I know if people followed even half of them, it would be a much better world. I also know (and this is the most important part) that without Jesus, we couldn’t even hope to follow even one of them. God held up the Law as a mirror into our impossibly corrupt hearts and Jesus stepped into our place and fulfilled every last one. BIGGEST GIFT.

Read your Bible. Let it speak to your weary heart and soul. This world tries its best to beat us down, but don’t let it. Look for the GIFTS big and small.

The Flip Side of Gloom

The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. Isaiah 9:2

Many writers and bloggers choose a word for the New Year. I remember last year I was entertaining this idea and before I could even ask God what word He would whisper to my spirit from His, the word came:

GLOOM

This can’t be right, I thought. Most people get hope filled inspirational words others could latch onto happily like HOPE, JOY, PERSEVERENCE, FAITH, LOVE. But I get Gloom, and it was persistent. Recent circumstances have brought forth the meaning in someone I care about deeply. Something that was supposed to be a relatively low risk surgical procedure has turned into a nasty infection and she is fighting it with everything she has. It’s been almost two months now. We are fighting it together with the Lord and all His angels we can muster. We’ve both had our turn at caretaking both sets of parents, and now it’s her turn to be taken care of. And that’s tough for someone with a caretaking spirit. And we ask why. My best friend is a person who rises each day and sincerely wants to leave someone or something in her world better.

Life can turn on a dime. We all know this. What started out as a procedure that is done each and every day, (with minimal risk, we were told) something both our brothers had done, and my mom had done twice. How could this seemingly innocuous procedure leave someone young(ish) and active, first in the ER, then in ICU? This is my person, my sister in Christ, my best friend of almost 40 years, someone who fixes everything broken. How could this happen?

Three surgeries in 3 weeks, and the days stretched on. An agonizing night in the hospital praying and holding her hand when she awoke battling fear and great pain. You quickly get used to a different life. It’s very hard to watch someone you love suffer, and harder still for them, cast suddenly into a world of IVs, endless rounds of pain meds, not to mention the horrendous pain itself. If all went well, she was supposed to be home 2 weeks ago, doing therapy and walking around.

I re-learned that a whole host of people have been cast unwillingly into this alternative universe. I learned the agony of waiting in the waiting room for any news at all. Of course, I knew that others had this life and I was empathetic, but I wasn’t part of it. Until you are the one standing at the elevator in exhaustion, forgetting what button to push, it is just a sad nod at someone else’s life.

We have now moved from the hospital life to a convalescent life. An alternative universe of still another set of challenges. The first room she shared an adjoining bathroom with a man who wasn’t all there, both physically and mentally. She awoke to him walking through the room stark naked and he then proceeded peeing all over the bathroom floor. (And she fighting a major infection) Then there was the one who yelled for help all night across the hall. It was starting to feel like “One Flew Over the Cuckcoo’s Nest.” We enlisted the help of a wonderful PT who came to the rescue and got her moved to the next wing. (Thanks be to God). It has been better over there. Thankfully, the staff for the most part is good and geared toward getting people out of there if they possibly can.

Thanksgiving came and went in the hospital, and Christmas will come and go in Rehab. Our Holidays have been spent clinging to the Rock (Psalm 18:2) and calling on the name of Jehovah Rapha, our healer. I drove through some of the roughest streets in Stockton at night during Thanksgiving. An adorable porch display on Acacia Street with lights and inflatable turkeys made me cry for some reason but I was grateful for it. Something about the hope in that silly little display touched my heart. In my other life, I would never have driven any of those streets at night, (there was a gang shooting that took place close by that same week), But God delivered me from all fear and brought me safely home each time.

And Satan, ever vigilant to swoop on those who belong to the Lord, one morning got the best of me. My thoughts were blackest of black and his voice taunted me. “Does the Lord always heal?” He then set about reminding me of all those who I had prayed for in the past who had left this earth for eternity anyway.

It’s easy to have faith when you think you know the outcome, but how about when the path ahead is obscured? That takes real faith. It’s the “Help my unbelief” kind of faith.

When my mind was grasping for sanity, there in the dark I cried to the Lord as the Psalmist did:

In my trouble I cried to the Lord, and He answered me. Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue. Psalm 120:1,2

In this case the lying lips were straight from hell, and I don’t belong there. I told him that too. I claimed the blood of Jesus over all of it. And then like a crack of warm oil flowing into my heart God reminded me of how I had been healed so many years ago. “Remember that day, Lori?” Oh yes, Lord I do. Please forgive me for listening to that voice even for a minute. Then I got up and prayed face down upon the chair and felt all the darkness dissipate. The cats were worried.

And the day got better. On the way to the Rehab a rainbow revealed itself as God’s eternal promise. This after weeks of no sun in sight. And later, in the Doctors office, Elaine got both drain tubes taken out. (We prayed for at least one). Later I stopped by the library having dumped the 3 books I couldn’t seem to focus on, there on the new shelf was the new one by Jan Karon. Another God sign, (I’ll take it).

In light of all these things, we hold out Hope because we know the One who can vanquish the darkness of this world. She has been asking everyone in the hospital if they know Jesus. When you have been through the valley of shadows struggling for breath, you realize again what’s truly important.

In the meantime, while we are here in the “Waiting Room” of this world before eternity, here is my Christmas list for those grasping for the Light in a world that has gone very dark.

No more waiting rooms, no more waiting for test results, no more shattered hearts. No more grief that sucks the life out of you. I look for the time of turning swords into plow shears, and hearts softening and turning to Jesus who holds the keys of death and hades, but also holds out the perfect gift which is himself, so we never have to worry about the latter.

You’ve got this because He’s got you. We know firsthand the flipside of Gloom and His name is Jesus.

Earth, strike up your music, birds that sing and bells that ring; Heaven hath answering music for all Angels soon to sing: Earth, put on your whitest Bridal robe of spotless snow: For Christmas bringeth Jesus, brought for us so low. Christina Rossetti

I got nothing


There are those days when I want so badly to write but nothing comes. Today was one. I started a whole blog post but felt as if I were digging into a place I didn’t want to have to dig out of. Mentally. It’s a beautiful Indian summer day. Can we still use that term? I used my fluffy blanket last night which makes me happy going to bed. Even if I have to throw them off during the night in a fit of clammy huffiness. Then I awoke with a feeling of the ground shifting (not an earthquake). It’s not quite fear, just uneasiness. I fished my phone out from under my pillow, pulled up You Tube, and found an Abide called, “Peaceful Night with God (Stories for Sleep) within about 15 minutes I was fast asleep. They don’t work for everyone, my friend tried it and she kept waiting for a story with a beginning, middle and end. They don’t do that, rather they meander around like some Jazz tunes do.

Anyway, I have felt uneasy the last few days, and I remember this morning that the second was the day my mom went to Heaven. The second was Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar; the Day of Atonement. Tradition holds that one’s fate for the coming year is sealed on Yom Kippur, which determines if their name is written in the Book of Life. That’s the really big most important book. This is how you can know you are there: https://bibletruths.org/is-your-name-written-in-the-lambs-book-of-life/

Yom Kippur commemorates the day when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the 10 Commandments which God Himself wrote on with a finger of lightning. Of course, after praying and fasting, he came down and found that Israel had fashioned their own god (small g). They had got tired of waiting. Don’t be too judgmental, I can remember many times in my life when I got tired of waiting for answered prayer and I’m sure you can too. All I have to do is try to put my phone away for two hours and I realized just how close I come to worshiping something man-made.

Anyway, it’s a beautiful day. I’m going over to feed my aunt’s neighbors’ cats, then go to church and after that attend our local Fall Festival downtown. I asked God this morning in prayer if He would shift the insides to sunny instead of cloudy gloom and it seems like He’s done it. (Thank you God) The best thing we can do on any given day is to be thankful. Being thankful is the best way to Worship God. And don’t forget to thank God for your washer and dryer. Having to go to a Laundromat for 8 years is extremely humbling. Just now, a train blew through, and I thank God for that. I always pray that the conductor won’t have to worry about someone passed out on the tracks. (It’s happened many times) I remember how I missed trains in Arizona.

Well, so long for now. And have a blessed day.

Whom Shall I Send?


Until today I hadn’t been able to turn the calendar off of the 10th. It has felt wrong. I listened to a powerful sermon (click the link) on my walk the other day and it echoed what I was feeling. Our culture has reached a point of no return, and I wonder how we can come back from this. There was a visible line stepped over when a large part of our culture celebrated the death of a good man. It was stepped over when a man was brutally murdered in front of thousands for simply trying to bring our youth together despite their differences. We saw pure evil, pure hatred unmasked before our eyes, and we can no longer afford to look away. As a Church, what are we going to do? Can we remain silent? Complacent as we have been for so long?

Charlie Kirk’s life purpose and message were simple. To put God first in everything we do and follow the path layed out for us in Scripture. He put himself out there, as Jesus commanded us all to do in the Great Commission. And evil doesn’t like the truth, it never has. All the enemy knows how to deal with the truth is to silence it however it can.

Or twist it. As Satan did in the Garden long ago.

The evil we saw on full display cannot be contained in that one shooter. He was just carrying out Satan’s bidding, though he may not even have known it. And God’s mercy could still reach him; I pray it does. Eternity is long. And I know Charlie would have been thrilled for him to find Jesus.

Charlie wanted more than anything for young conservatives to have a voice, but he also encouraged those who disagreed most vehemently to come to the front of the line. Charlie had a passion for reaching our youth, many of whom are floundering, with no moral compass. He believed open dialogue was a key factor in bringing people, all people together. This is what he said so often:

"When people stop talking, that's when you get violence. That's when civil war happens."

Dr. Martin Luther King and Charlie Kirk had one thing in common. One wanted the laws of our land to reflect equality for all the races in keeping with our own constitution. Another wanted kids of all opinions to have an equal voice on college campuses and in life. Also, in keeping with our constitution.

Even so, I believe this horrible event has sparked a revival in our country. Just today, I heard a mom say that she is attending church for the first time. She said her kids have been asking, and today she made the choice to go, even though she was unsure what to expect. Just today I heard another one. And yesterday, at the memorial 60,000 heard the Gospel, I’m sure many of them for the first time. One after another, our government leaders got up and delivered messages that sounded more like sermons that speeches.

Our country began to lose its way when we began to believe that our rights came from the Government instead of God. When a country loses its moral compass, it begins to die from the inside out. But the way back to life can start from the inside of all of us individually through the Holy Spirit and the Church once again taking a stand on moral issues.

Charlie’s message on a college campus wouldn’t even have made a stir in the 1960s, I would even go so far as to say the 1970s. It simply wouldn’t have been controversial. The values most of us grew up with then were still intact by and large. I have said this before, when I was in High School (in California no less) in the 70’s, we sang hymns in school. Nobody thought a thing about it. We loved our Rock and Roll, Frampton, Boston and Fleetwood Mac, but we also knew there was respect for faith and room for freedom of expression.

In our postmodern world, what once was taken for granted as a way of life by most people, is now considered radical by many, especially by our youth.

So where do we go from here? We each pick up our crosses. We pray. We dig deep into the word which is our Spiritual life blood. We keep going. Most importantly we don’t back down from speaking the truth, and more importantly living it. Charlie listened to God’s call and obeyed. I don’t know about you, but not many of us would put up a table in a hostile environment and invite dialogue if we knew we would face certain harassment, death threats, and finally death itself. But each of us can walk the walk Jesus has prepared for us with His help.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

Be Still and Know

This morning, I awoke kind of unsettled. I wandered around in the dim early morning light and gave the cats a snack. Then I poured coffee and settled in my chair with shades drawn. It wasn’t time for light. Yet. I felt “Meh” and I didn’t feel like praying. I just sat. Sometimes just the act of being still is exactly what God wants us to do in that moment. So, I just sat. Just so happened that my dial landed on Ecclesiastes today for my reading plan. Perfect. God has a sense of humor, I knew that but sometimes you need to be reminded.

“Cease striving…….”

And don’t we continue to strive even when we are sitting still? Our minds are almost never inactive. As I settled into the quiet, (in my funk) I sensed the presence of the Holy Spirit, and I remembered another morning. He reminded me of when I was so irritated at the traffic noise, and He prompted me to transform my irritation into an offering of prayer. And so, I did. I prayed for every car I heard and the person behind the wheel. I started to feel a love for all those people hurrying wherever they were going, and all the problems and heartaches (and joys) behind each life. Then I heard the train come through and I prayed for everyone on it. I was transformed.

Even now, when I hear the traffic, I hear something different because when you allow God to work, He can change our normal everyday irritations into something much different. And I could ache like I do, for the pines or the ocean and go to go that quiet place, even my closet, and find that I have come out refreshed as if I had just spent time watching the waves crash upon the shore or hearing the wind making the pines sigh.

God uses what we have. And sometimes what we have is not much, but God is God so He can make our nothing into something if we invite Him with only a whisper of a prayer or an almost thought we don’t even remember thinking.

Then, one more thing happened as I sat down to write this blog. I heard David Nevue play “The Lion and the Lamb” and that song always wiggles me because it takes me back to when blogging was new and we were all like neighbors visiting at the back fence or on the porch conversing over a steaming mug of coffee. Those times were so sweet that it almost hurts to remember. But not in a bad way.

Friends, I hope you can glimpse a bit of eternity today. Pause and remember how it must have been when it was all so new. And how it can be right now as you invite God into your everyday normal and precious life.

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:2

Too Much Information

We are all inundated with stuff, news, videos, images, voices and noise all day long. I think of the line from the old show Cheers:

“Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot, wouldn’t you like to get away….”

No wonder we need vacations, staycations, and every other kind of “cation” we can think of. The reason bars and pubs have been such popular hangouts down through the ages is because living is hard for the working class. That’s not to say that rich people don’t have stress, they just have a different kind of stress. They have endless options of things to look forward to. Propel themselves forward in different ways. They hire people to do some of the things that take up so much of the rest of our time, for instance. This is just a small example. This morning, I went to visit my 92-year-old Aunt. The refuse company took her garbage can today, just took the whole can. She called them and got someone from Arizona (we are in California) Hopefully, she will get a new can by next Friday.

Then, she got a letter from the utility company wanting her to reapply for the discount program she is signed up for. There were two full pages of small print for her to fill out. There was another sheaf of papers for her to fill out for her referral for the specialist she is supposed to see. It’s never-ending. Those kinds of things are what we (the masses) have to do on a daily basis. It’s not that hard for me, I can go online but imagine being 92 and never having used a computer or a smart phone.

It’s in these ordinary working, waking, sometimes exasperating moments of life where God can come quietly and give us that Supernatural Rest (click to open AI) with a capital “R.” And that’s very welcome news, because in those moments where you feel “stuck” that is comfort indeed. For me, nature has always been a conduit for God’s rest. Other ways for me are reading certain authors. A book I return to over and over again is Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours. Each Chapter is like breathing fresh air. Another is walking. Nothing untangles my mind like taking a walk. Sometimes I listen to Bach radio on Pandora and sometimes I just focus on sounds. Birds, lawnmowers, people talking.

This year I joined a Bible study which has rekindled my love for the Word and changed certain things in me that never would’ve happened without it. In answering some of the questions we are challenged to be brutally honest with others and ourselves. And when we sing the hymn before dismissal, I find the peace I used to know walking to church on summer evenings (that I never knew I had then, but I know it now.)

Whatever it is for you, find that thing and do it. Pray, seek God. If you can’t find the words to pray, just thank Him for all He’s given you. And most importantly, turn off the news! Have a splendid and wonderful Saturday, folks!

“My soul finds rest in God; from him comes my salvation; my soul finds rest in God; from Him comes my hope.” Psalm 62:1-2