New life in Christ

The Other Side of Easter

The other side of Easter

The Celebration is over, the fanfare, the buildup, the special music, the joy of sharing the Resurrection with other believers. Now what? Seems to be back to business as usual. Back to work, back to school. Even Peter went back to fishing. 

Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will also come with you.” They went out and got into the boat; and that night they caught nothing. John 21:3

Everything had changed for those first century believers. And yet they didn’t seem to know it yet. It’s much the same for us at times. We know the reality of the resurrection, we live it out each day, but there is work, kids, dishes, life. 

I always liked the story of the two believers on the road to Emmaus. When the stranger approached they couldn’t believe he didn’t know the events of Jerusalem. It would be much like living in America the day after 9/11 and not knowing what just happened. 

Afterward, at the table when Jesus broke the bread, their eyes (and hearts) were opened and Jesus disappeared from their sight. “They asked each other, “Were our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” 

Maybe, just maybe they knew but were afraid to hope. Like them, maybe hope seems too good to be true in your circumstances right now. But when everything is darkest around us, it’s easier to see the Light as well. We just have to know and believe He’s there. Believe me, I have faced death down and found comfort in the midst of it. Impossible peace is what He’s best at.

Remember friends, even as the celebrations die down, each day they start anew, for each day is our own Resurrection Day with a capital R. All of life has changed for the better forever. Illness, heartaches, grief and all our uncertainties about the future can’t change that, Praise God, the empty tomb means the Comforter has come for us just as He said.  Everything else is but a shadow that can’t touch us.

Hope is found even in the midst of the cemetery I went to yesterday, new life through the most boring mundane job in the world. (I’ve been there too) With the Holy Spirit the flame of Hope is kindled anew, in the center of right where we are, right now. 

1 Corinthians 15:57: “ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Where is the Lamb?

As we walked by my bunny laden display, I reminded my cousin of the two that were her mom’s, my Aunt Esther’s. She nodded and then said, “Where are your mom’s lambs?” I told her that two were outside. I had also given some to friends of hers after she had passed. She said, “You just can’t hardly find a lamb anymore.” She’s right. I looked. 

You can find chicks and bunnies galore, and every other kind of creature reconfigured for Easter. 

Where are the lambs? In particular, where is the lamb? 

It was a refrain that haunted me the next day as I racked my brain for one particular lamb Mom had. It sat on the small table in her bathroom. It was small and looking up, head slightly tilted to the side, and wearing a beribboned straw hat. Impossibly cute. I seem to remember that it had a broken leg…..but I would have kept it even so. I would have glued it back on. I know it.

For these things came to pass, that the scripture might be fulfilled, A bone of him shall not be broken. John 19:36 

Unlike my lamb, Jesus leg wasn’t broken. 

I wish I could remember what happened to that little lamb. In the cloud of grief after a loved one dies; small things get swept away when big things take over. 

There is one lamb I did have to have, however. It was the big cement one (and I do mean cement) on her porch. It rested there many years peacefully welcoming friends and family from its place in the shade under the Japanese maple. There is another one I kept that now stands on my own porch step (this one actually does have a glued leg.)

All these broken leg lambs, and all this pondering of lambs has made me wonder. Why specifically is the lamb the perfect sacrifice, the metaphor for Jesus? Ever tried to lead a goat or a bull somewhere it doesn’t want to go? Not very easy! The lamb was chosen because it didn’t fight, it didn’t struggle as it was lead along. It was trusting. It had no clue that it was being led to slaughter. Jesus however, did. All His life, He lived in the shadow of the Cross.

Yet it didn’t daunt Him. He healed, He laughed, He taught, He loved, He prayed with unwavering faith……Up until it was time for He Himself to be Passover lamb for us all. John said:

The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! John 1:29

Where is the Lamb? How does He fit into your life today? Have you accepted His plan for your life, the plan that was in play from the foundation of the world? There is a remedy for the chaos we see all around us today. This world is groaning friends, ripe for redemption. It’s already done. It was done when His voice rang out from the Cross.

IT…….IS……FINISHED.

There is a scene that many have talked about. When Jim Caviezel was taking a break from filming the violent and demanding scenes of the crucifixion during the Passion of the Christ, there was a lamb wandering around on set. During a spontaneous moment, he picked up that pure white lamb, and someone shot the photo. For the sake of copyright laws, I will link it here.

I pray that you find moments this Easter season where you reflect on all that Jesus has done for us once again.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. Isaiah 53:7

And I was weeping greatly because no one worthy was found to open the scroll, nor to look-at it. And one of the elders says to me, “Do not be weeping. Behold— the Lion from the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, overcame so as to open the scroll and its seven seals”. And I saw in the midst of the throne and the four living-creatures, and in the midst of the elders, there was a Lamb as-if having been slain, standing, having seven horns, and seven eyes (which are the seven Spirits of God having been sent-forth into all the earth). And He came, and He has taken it out of the right hand of the One sitting on the throne. Revelation 4-7

And they are singing a new song, saying “You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because You were slain, and You bought for God with Your blood some from every tribe and tongue and people and nation,  and You made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they will reign upon the earth”. And I saw, and I heard the voice of many angels around the throne, and of the living-creatures, and of the elders— and the number of them was myriads of myriads, and thousands of thousands—saying with a loud voice “Worthy is the Lamb having been slain to receive the power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing.” Revelation 5:9-12

Amen, even so, come Lord Jesus.

I got nothing


There are those days when I want so badly to write but nothing comes. Today was one. I started a whole blog post but felt as if I were digging into a place I didn’t want to have to dig out of. Mentally. It’s a beautiful Indian summer day. Can we still use that term? I used my fluffy blanket last night which makes me happy going to bed. Even if I have to throw them off during the night in a fit of clammy huffiness. Then I awoke with a feeling of the ground shifting (not an earthquake). It’s not quite fear, just uneasiness. I fished my phone out from under my pillow, pulled up You Tube, and found an Abide called, “Peaceful Night with God (Stories for Sleep) within about 15 minutes I was fast asleep. They don’t work for everyone, my friend tried it and she kept waiting for a story with a beginning, middle and end. They don’t do that, rather they meander around like some Jazz tunes do.

Anyway, I have felt uneasy the last few days, and I remember this morning that the second was the day my mom went to Heaven. The second was Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar; the Day of Atonement. Tradition holds that one’s fate for the coming year is sealed on Yom Kippur, which determines if their name is written in the Book of Life. That’s the really big most important book. This is how you can know you are there: https://bibletruths.org/is-your-name-written-in-the-lambs-book-of-life/

Yom Kippur commemorates the day when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the 10 Commandments which God Himself wrote on with a finger of lightning. Of course, after praying and fasting, he came down and found that Israel had fashioned their own god (small g). They had got tired of waiting. Don’t be too judgmental, I can remember many times in my life when I got tired of waiting for answered prayer and I’m sure you can too. All I have to do is try to put my phone away for two hours and I realized just how close I come to worshiping something man-made.

Anyway, it’s a beautiful day. I’m going over to feed my aunt’s neighbors’ cats, then go to church and after that attend our local Fall Festival downtown. I asked God this morning in prayer if He would shift the insides to sunny instead of cloudy gloom and it seems like He’s done it. (Thank you God) The best thing we can do on any given day is to be thankful. Being thankful is the best way to Worship God. And don’t forget to thank God for your washer and dryer. Having to go to a Laundromat for 8 years is extremely humbling. Just now, a train blew through, and I thank God for that. I always pray that the conductor won’t have to worry about someone passed out on the tracks. (It’s happened many times) I remember how I missed trains in Arizona.

Well, so long for now. And have a blessed day.

Whom Shall I Send?


Until today I hadn’t been able to turn the calendar off of the 10th. It has felt wrong. I listened to a powerful sermon (click the link) on my walk the other day and it echoed what I was feeling. Our culture has reached a point of no return, and I wonder how we can come back from this. There was a visible line stepped over when a large part of our culture celebrated the death of a good man. It was stepped over when a man was brutally murdered in front of thousands for simply trying to bring our youth together despite their differences. We saw pure evil, pure hatred unmasked before our eyes, and we can no longer afford to look away. As a Church, what are we going to do? Can we remain silent? Complacent as we have been for so long?

Charlie Kirk’s life purpose and message were simple. To put God first in everything we do and follow the path layed out for us in Scripture. He put himself out there, as Jesus commanded us all to do in the Great Commission. And evil doesn’t like the truth, it never has. All the enemy knows how to deal with the truth is to silence it however it can.

Or twist it. As Satan did in the Garden long ago.

The evil we saw on full display cannot be contained in that one shooter. He was just carrying out Satan’s bidding, though he may not even have known it. And God’s mercy could still reach him; I pray it does. Eternity is long. And I know Charlie would have been thrilled for him to find Jesus.

Charlie wanted more than anything for young conservatives to have a voice, but he also encouraged those who disagreed most vehemently to come to the front of the line. Charlie had a passion for reaching our youth, many of whom are floundering, with no moral compass. He believed open dialogue was a key factor in bringing people, all people together. This is what he said so often:

"When people stop talking, that's when you get violence. That's when civil war happens."

Dr. Martin Luther King and Charlie Kirk had one thing in common. One wanted the laws of our land to reflect equality for all the races in keeping with our own constitution. Another wanted kids of all opinions to have an equal voice on college campuses and in life. Also, in keeping with our constitution.

Even so, I believe this horrible event has sparked a revival in our country. Just today, I heard a mom say that she is attending church for the first time. She said her kids have been asking, and today she made the choice to go, even though she was unsure what to expect. Just today I heard another one. And yesterday, at the memorial 60,000 heard the Gospel, I’m sure many of them for the first time. One after another, our government leaders got up and delivered messages that sounded more like sermons that speeches.

Our country began to lose its way when we began to believe that our rights came from the Government instead of God. When a country loses its moral compass, it begins to die from the inside out. But the way back to life can start from the inside of all of us individually through the Holy Spirit and the Church once again taking a stand on moral issues.

Charlie’s message on a college campus wouldn’t even have made a stir in the 1960s, I would even go so far as to say the 1970s. It simply wouldn’t have been controversial. The values most of us grew up with then were still intact by and large. I have said this before, when I was in High School (in California no less) in the 70’s, we sang hymns in school. Nobody thought a thing about it. We loved our Rock and Roll, Frampton, Boston and Fleetwood Mac, but we also knew there was respect for faith and room for freedom of expression.

In our postmodern world, what once was taken for granted as a way of life by most people, is now considered radical by many, especially by our youth.

So where do we go from here? We each pick up our crosses. We pray. We dig deep into the word which is our Spiritual life blood. We keep going. Most importantly we don’t back down from speaking the truth, and more importantly living it. Charlie listened to God’s call and obeyed. I don’t know about you, but not many of us would put up a table in a hostile environment and invite dialogue if we knew we would face certain harassment, death threats, and finally death itself. But each of us can walk the walk Jesus has prepared for us with His help.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

To Hear You Breathe

I come in just about every morning and listen, listen. You don’t know it but I come in so I can hear you breathe. It makes me feel a peace inside, a calm assurance that you are here. Then, on the heels of that, I feel the sting and loss of what it would be like if you weren’t. Like a cavern it grows inside me from some dark place that remains hidden. It nips at my soul’s heels like a reminder of how fleeting it all is. This waking life. I feel the whole creation longing for redemption……release from the curse we’ve put on ourselves. 

Every blade, every leaf, every tree whispers it through the air. Animals and humans alike, desperate for food in a parched land, orphans aching for the mother they once knew. So much suffering. Everyone knows something has gone terribly wrong and everyone pitches in their two cents, wondering what the fix is. Because we are human, and we don’t give up so easily we use different and ingenious ways to patch up the gaping hole in our maimed creation.

We wait for the wrongs to be righted. Because we know they must. We see the heartache flashing across our screens, snapshots of someone else’s grief. Our minds scarcely have time to deal with what we just saw and then comes the next, worse than the first. We live in a world that breathes in life and death, and sometimes in the same moment.

You told me how you prayed for the chicks at the Farm store. That they would have a good life. Oh my gosh it makes me cry and think how wonderful you are. How blessed I am beyond measure to have you. How much easier life would be if everyone had a best friend to soften the blows of this life.

Each morning, I long for that quiet place where I can hear from God again. I seek it but can’t quite find it against the backdrop of noise. But there is this. When I open your Book, I am comforted once again. I open it and feel eternity, life, wholeness there. I cling to the hope and knowledge of its rightness, for in between its pages there is the breath of the Holy Spirit. I don’t even have to flip to the back, I know the ending.

No matter what happens in this life, God already completed the master stroke when He said, “IT is finished.” The “It” in this instance is everything. The whole long story from creation to the end of all things. 

Redemption for creation happened in one terrible magnificent instant, making all things new when He rose from the grave. Breaking chains of all kinds forever. The old dead oak standing in the field laughs and starts to bud, the cows run out of the gate to fresh grass, no more slaughterhouse for them. Thorns grow soft and bloom. No humans or animals wake with hunger pains ever again. We all eat kale, except Heaven’s kale will taste like nothing we’ve ever had before. No one kills or dies ever again. And contagious laughter will forever ring through the halls of Heaven.

And the little will chicks peep for joy. 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:3,4

The World is Changing

In the beginning of the Lord of the Rings movie, the narrator Galadriel says:

“The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it…..”

The men and women of the WWII era are dying. The Greatest Generation, they are called. And truly they were. When I think of the 18-year-old boys I see just about everywhere I think of them on the beach at Normandy. These kids have no clue about sacrifice. They think sacrifice is not having the latest version of iPhone. It’s not really their fault. They just don’t know any better. And I hate to generalize, there are still many wonderful kids out there, they just are being raised in a different world than I was.

The world is changing for sure. Things we hear in the headlines are things that if our Grandparents heard about it, they would think we were dreaming up the worst kind of hell. Child porn for example. Who in the world would ever have thought of those two words together. We have graduated into new heights of evil and it’s not good news. Morally we are in a deep decline and there is only one way out. But to believe that you have to believe in some standard of morality and therein lies the rub. Most college kids today have been taught for many years that there is no moral standard. That whatever you think in your mind and heart is what you should do. The Bible says the opposite. From the book of Jeremiah: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I daresay, what we see in the world today is the result.

So, what is the truth? When Jesus was standing before Pilate, condemned for a death that even Pilate didn’t agree with, Pilate was perplexed. He was trying to paint Jesus into a corner, figure it all out.

Pilate: “You are a king, then!” said Pilate. Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

Then Pilate asked the age-old universal question What is truth? It seems everyone is still asking it. But here is the truth and we can know it. The truth is embodied in Jesus Christ alone. Not only is Jesus the embodiment of truth, but He is also the embodiment of God Himself. Most people if asked, would probably say that they are okay just the way they are, pretty good moral individuals. But as humanity we are as broken as we ever were. We only need to look at the headlines again.

There is a song that goes like this:

“Jesus is the answer, for the world today….”

Because God is the embodiment of Love, but also the embodiment of Holiness, He did what only He could do to fix us. He sent the second person of the trinity down to this earth as a Jewish man. He fulfilled the whole letter of the law perfectly, without flaw. He lived the sinless life we could never live and laid down His life willingly for us. (No one took it from Him)

All that remains is that we accept the priceless Gift. But we do have to decide. No decision is a decision against Him. While there is breath there is hope. Jesus told the man next to Him, “Today, you will be with Me in paradise.” Obviously that man didn’t have time to do all the things we normally equate with measuring up. All the Churchy things. The stakes are high. They’ve never been higher, time is short. Here is a message I found by Alistair Begg that illustrates it perfectly.

As usual, my prayers and peace are with all you new or faithful who are still reading my words.

In Jesus love, Lori

Breath of life

Scout and Atticus enjoying the rain on the windows and bird watching.

I used to have a vibrant prayer life, I don’t know why it used to be easy to pray and now it isn’t. But praise? That has always been an easy thing for me to do. It’s a gift I’ve been given, not anything I did on my own. In the half-light, I thought of David and remember thinking, still mostly asleep, “he wrote himself comfort.” He wrote himself (or I should say prayed out) because really, before they were words, they were prayers. As I lay there reciting some Psalms I know by heart I fell into the most delicious of sleeps. I awoke later more refreshed than I have been for quite a while. I don’t have a lot of Scripture memorized but what I do has been so valuable during times before I fall asleep, or times of stress.

I awoke this morning the first time at around 6. It was dark and I heard the gentle patter of rain outside. My first words were “thank you God for the new day, let everything that has breath praise the Lord, squirrels, chipmunks, cows, chickens.” I don’t know why I thought of those particular animals, but I did. I guess because I thought of this crazy squirrel that we almost hit yesterday. I swear he went right through the wheels. It was the same road, and I assume the same squirrel I saw yesterday dart out to the middle of the same road and back. It’s a red squirrel and they are kind of crazy, (kind of like a little red cat I know) Not mentioning any names (Scout) we love him so.

Conjuring up the Christmas Spirit is always hit and miss and sometimes elusive. At certain moments throughout the day, it comes whispering in. I bought this book for myself, and I highly recommend it. It’s called “Let the Earth Receive Her King” by Alastair Begg. This is a passage I highlighted that gave me comfort this morning:

Whatever lies in our past or our present, we are never beyond being used by God to further His glorious eternal plan

This is my first Christmas retired, and I heartily recommend it. Not having to go anywhere in the mornings is like a dream. We put the Christmas tree up on the patio because (the kitten factor) and I love looking at the lights through the window as I sit and read. I can actually bake again since I have a real stove so that has been a real joy. Recently, we had our usual brunch at Grand Island Mansion, a treasure of the California Delta. When we were finishing up to leave, I was shocked, pleased and surprised to see my friend Darrell who was best man at my wedding and my husband’s best friend. They had moved to a neighboring state, and I hadn’t seen them in a few years. It was a great ending to a perfect morning.

It’s been a wonderful Christmas season full of joys, a few moments of melancholy, peace and overwhelming thankfulness for a God who loves us and strives with me each day despite my stubborn nature. Taxes and jury duty and life lurking round the corner but in all these things we are still more than conquerors. (Romans 8:37)

Merry Christmas to all and hope and blessings going forward to the New Year!

New Every Morning

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22

”It’s been a too long time, with no peace of mind and I’m waiting for the times to get better…….” Songwriter: Allen Reynolds

I was meditating on the Lamentations verse this morning and once again filled with thanksgiving that we have this living hope we can stand on. It’s a promise God offers us every single day. What a wonder, in this troubled world we live in. Where are the ready smiles on the street? It seems to me that people are burdened. Then, while watching the Olympics last night there was the commercial with that old Crystal Gayle song. Elaine said, “I Do Not Like that commercial, it’s so sad.” Yes it is, but it seems like an honest depiction of a lot of people’s lives right now. Nothing is getting cheaper, crime is everywhere. We have to really look to find the good. We open our phones in the morning and are assaulted with an endless barrage of whatever the media thinks we need to know.

When I get weary of it all, I usually go to YouTube funny animal videos to cleanse my mental palette.

This morning I prayed for the first time in the new shop. It was a short session but it was a breath of fresh air. I haven’t had a place of prayer in years. I know, we can pray anywhere and I do. Arrow prayers all day. But having a quiet place to go to without interruption is different. My prayer was one of gratitude that even though the world seems to be in chaos all around us. God’s mercies are new every morning. What a gift. I pray that it’s a reality in all our lives.

We thought we would never live here. In this park, I mean. We had another “senior” park all picked out but it just didn’t gel. And we got tired of waiting. When we moved in, our neighbor had quite a few negative things to say about the park and management in general. We thought at the time that he was being nit picky and ridiculous. Now he is gone (the park bought him out). By no means am I bragging when I say we have made this place gorgeous. And management has taken issue with some of our positive changes, while other resident’s places are falling down around them. Mind you, neither one of us has problems with rules, in fact that is part of why we moved here. But when the rules don’t apply equally across the board it doesn’t sit well.

But………we love our home, and we have no intentions of moving. Not to say it hasn’t been a bit discouraging. Oh well, we are living in a strange and broken world. So much is upside down. This is no surprise. The fact is, God knows it too. From the dawn of creation He knew everything that would happen. But He counted the cost and figured it was worth it. He saw that everything he made was good. Perfect in every way. But it was also no surprise to Him when we went after the one thing He told us not to. The lie just sounded so good.

One time long ago, Pilate asked Jesus, “What is truth?” Pilate didn’t even know truth when He was looking right at him. Do we? Anyway, the good news is still the good news. We can have that happy ending since Jesus didn’t back down from restoring all things, and us as well. The redemption that is restoring all things is alive. Because of Jesus, we can wake with hope every single day.

I remember that old hymn we used to sing long ago. “Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe, sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.” We never should have stopped singing those songs.

Until next time, be blessed and keep looking up.

When you lose a sibling

I have been grappling with the right words to write for weeks. It’s been exactly 60 days since I heard the panic-stricken voice over the phone say, “Lori, Ron is dead.” It was my brother’s friend Margaret who went to check on him after he stopped replying to our texts and calls. 

There are moments that split the timeline in a life and that phone call was yet another one.

Three family members in two years, gone. I still pause several times a day and hear the whisper, like a breeze flowing through my soul that tells me he’s not here. And how can that be?

Death, the Bible says, is a mystery. How can people in your life be here, breathing, walking, talking, making decisions (or not); then simply disappear with a wake of a life left behind. I find comfort in knowing he is in Heaven. I was there the day he made his declaration of faith, Easter Sunday 81 or 82 if my memory is correct. 

I remember thinking he looked gallant and humble that day. Handsome and tan in a white shirt walking down the aisle like a lone male bride. My Aunt and I were in the choir that day singing selections from “The Messiah.” 

Flash forward 40 or so years. And time, and time and time, like the Steve Miller band song says, “slips into the future” and my brother’s soul flew like an eagle to his Heavenly home. 

In childhood, I idolized him. He looked after me when we were small. On family trips we slept together in the back of the Volkswagen with the seats folded down. I remember that. Other things stand out. The time we made a pact not to bicker and fight anymore. (Didn’t last) and the Birthday party where he and a friend attached prizes behind the sheet draped clothesline so my friends and I could “fish for prizes.” 

In high school, he was the star athlete, the popular one. I was the quiet book nerd. In the ebb and flow of life, we drifted apart over the years but came together at different times, usually when crisis hit. 

I had utmost respect for him as a caregiver when his first wife got cancer. He never left her side, caring for her until she passed away. And at the worst time of my life when my husband died on our honeymoon he flew to Mexico and stayed until we could bring his body back. 

He has left behind a special needs daughter who will be 21 this December. My brother could always make her laugh with his silliness. She also shares his love and compassion for animals. I’m so thankful she has such a great Mom.

There are mountains of stuff and mountains of decisions to sort through and I am still in somewhat of a state of disbelief. I see a gray Ford truck coming down the street and I still think it might be him. 

I was the first to hug him, all our lives. He never made a move to hug me first. That just wasn’t his way. I wish I would have grabbed him and hugged him the last time I saw him. But I didn’t know. We never know. I also didn’t know how depressed and lonely he was ever since our parents died in 2021. I wish he would have let me in. I wish I would have been more sensitive. 

It sounds like a Hallmark cliche to say that we never know when it will be our last moments but it’s also true. If there is any value, any lesson I can learn (or relearn) from loss going forward it’s this: 

“Do what you can live with after they are gone.” That is the best advice and it’s what my bestie Elaine always did and said while she was caregiving for her parents. 

I miss my brother. I know he is at peace and I am getting there. I will close with a letter he wrote his first wife shortly before she died, and these are his words: 

Your grace and courage in passing from this life cause me to fear death no longer. And, as you said to me one time before you departed, “Ron, I won’t just be waiting for you to arrive in Heaven, I’ll be waving you in.” 

When Church Happens

He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:14

I went to church but I didn’t go all the way in. To be honest, I just didn’t feel like hearing another sermon. I have heard it all before. I have sat and filled in the blanks dutifully, like one more task I have to check off. Done. On to the next thing.

I miss the interaction. I miss how at my old church they would ask if anyone had a burden, a need. And then others standing by would surround them, touch them, hands like gentle doves lighting on shoulders, backs…….. and the Pastor would pray. Sometimes they would cry and we would want to cry too. There is something powerful about the laying on of hands…..passing the Spirit from one to another.

It unifies us all.

Somehow I can’t escape the feeling that we are leaving with our burdens intact. There might be a burning need right next to me, and I would never know it. An inner cry for help like a dial tone unanswered.

We leave as the islands we are. Untouched. Still carrying the heavy load.

I wonder and not for the first time if the Spirit is not quenched with all our organization. Just one Sunday I wish the Pastor would stop and say, “Now everyone turn to your neighbor, not the one you came with, the one you don’t know, and pray for each other for 15 minutes.”

And I miss the altar call. Some say it’s just not needed anymore. It makes people feel embarrassed, singled out. But I disagree. I feel like it’s what draws us all in, and holds us together. Makes us remember when we were the one propelled out of our seat, and how that aisle looked impossibly long.

And when it was just you and the Lord, and no one else. And somehow, you know that this one thing, this one moment will change the course of your eternal destiny. What in the world matters more than that? I believe churches are robbing their congregations when they take this Holy moment away.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in the church more than ever. When I miss it, something is wrong. But I also think that church happens more often than not after we leave the building.

As we sat yesterday with old friends, listening to all they have been through since we had last seen them I felt church happen with the exchange of tears. When she said she was finally getting help in dealing with the death of their little boy. That little boy who was their whole world and in some ways still is.

I can see how that little boy is so alive to them still. And how if he knew what a shadow his death made on their marriage, how sad he would be. I wish I would have told her that if he knew his Mommy was finally getting help, that he would smile from Heaven.

We talked of how it will never go away, he will never go away. But you learn to make some kind of peace with it. And go on for others who still need you.

Church happens when love happens, and not just on Sunday. But over coffee, in between classes, in parking lots, in school buses, everywhere God is.

It happens when we remember the Cross and what was done on it, for us. And that every single thing we bear in this life, He already dealt with.

It was nailed to the cross when He was.

In light of that, we stand at the edge of eternity every day. And with each day, no matter what we have to handle, our gratitude can’t help but grow.

We just can’t stop counting the gifts. Join me today? And Ann at Holy Experience here.