"And when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done is secret, will reward you……"Matthew 6:6
Dawn is making her appearance, as light colors the sky and all around this town people are waking up. The freeway has roared to life, taking people to jobs, jostling briefcases, coffee, lukewarm handheld makeshift breakfasts.
I am blessed to say my Good mornings to You Father, what a privilege. How many will say it? How many know it? How many even entertain the thought? The motion light flashes, AM dog walkers. I think about my own motion light. In Him we live and move and have our being……In Him was the light of men but how many recognized His coming?
A small band of followers that changed the world, and continues to change it through His Holy Spirit on the earth….How long Oh Lord? As we see chaos, wars spilling into every area of the world. Corruption as we’ve never seen before streaming out from our phones, laptops, living rooms.
Are you still here? As the piano softly plays a hymn I remember from childhood, memories come softly as a summer night at Sunday service. I didn’t know then that those times would become something precious I would sit and think about fondly as a distant dream.
Revelation is opened, and we ask the question again and again. Who is able to open the scroll? Who is worthy? No one on this earth for sure, but for the Lamb slain before the foundation of the world we would all be condemned.
Thank you, Lord, again and again. It’s become my prayer of late. Three simple words that mean everything.
“Oh, that they had such a heart in them, that they would fear me and keep my commandments always, that it may be well with them and with their sons forever!” Deuteronomy 5:29
This is God’s lament because even as Moses came down from the mountain with the first draft of those tablets that God fingerprinted Himself, He knew it wasn’t to be. He knew it wasn’t remotely possible. It’s human nature after all. You are cruising along in life; all is well until someone (or God) tells you something is forbidden. Even if you hadn’t thought about that “something” whatever it is, now it has your focus.
We’ve been studying Exodus in our Bible Study and as always, I am stunned and amazed at what I have culled from pages I thought I knew well. I have found that I have taken the Ten Commandments for granted. The questions are soul piercing at times. Here’s one:
How different would the world be if we followed these statutes?
The world would be instantly transformed. There would not be much news to report. If any.
As I was meditating on the Word this morning, I thought of the phrase, “All is right with the world.” Is that even remotely possible looking at the world today? It’s a fictional phrase I’ve read in many books, and maybe it used to be much easier to believe that somewhere in the world at least, the statement could be true.
We know that it isn’t. Even as we click off the news we go about the business of living and do what we can to make things right in our own world. We take comfort in the smallest of moments. We string those moments all together; we gather them close like skeins of the softest yarn, and we hold them close to our face to feel that softness before stuffing them all back in the basket.
Today I was feeling kind of distant from God. I’ve actually had a string of those days. Being a believer for so long, I have better learned to weather those days. I know He loves me, I know He’s promised to never leave, and I rest on those promises daily. I also know another thing about our Heavenly Father. He knows how to give good gifts. He specializes in unexpected moments of reassurance to surprise us. (Don’t kid yourself, these little gifts come from Him, they are not accidents)
Today I started a book. I have started and stopped so many lately. They were all MEH. This one was promising and delivered the comfort I my soul was craving. Two English girls go looking for God and a missing woman in their neighborhood FULLSTOP. Complete with assorted characters in said neighborhood. Another FULLSTOP. At last reader Mecca. GIFT.
My joy increased as I played Pandora Praise to run and get a Dutch Bros for my Bestie, (sticker day, y’know) I prayed for the people I saw pushing their carts full of stuff, I prayed for the animal shelter workers who never get a break. I prayed for the Dutch Bros peeps. And then I heard Lauren Daigle sing about “Not Enough” and even though I feel the same most of the time, I know that Jesus plus nothing makes me more than enough. ANOTHER GIFT.
I wish we could post those 10 Commandments everywhere, because I know if people followed even half of them, it would be a much better world. I also know (and this is the most important part) that without Jesus, we couldn’t even hope to follow even one of them. God held up the Law as a mirror into our impossibly corrupt hearts and Jesus stepped into our place and fulfilled every last one. BIGGEST GIFT.
Read your Bible. Let it speak to your weary heart and soul. This world tries its best to beat us down, but don’t let it. Look for the GIFTS big and small.
The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined. Isaiah 9:2
Many writers and bloggers choose a word for the New Year. I remember last year I was entertaining this idea and before I could even ask God what word He would whisper to my spirit from His, the word came:
GLOOM
This can’t be right, I thought. Most people get hope filled inspirational words others could latch onto happily like HOPE, JOY, PERSEVERENCE, FAITH, LOVE. But I get Gloom, and it was persistent. Recent circumstances have brought forth the meaning in someone I care about deeply. Something that was supposed to be a relatively low risk surgical procedure has turned into a nasty infection and she is fighting it with everything she has. It’s been almost two months now. We are fighting it together with the Lord and all His angels we can muster. We’ve both had our turn at caretaking both sets of parents, and now it’s her turn to be taken care of. And that’s tough for someone with a caretaking spirit. And we ask why. My best friend is a person who rises each day and sincerely wants to leave someone or something in her world better.
Life can turn on a dime. We all know this. What started out as a procedure that is done each and every day, (with minimal risk, we were told) something both our brothers had done, and my mom had done twice. How could this seemingly innocuous procedure leave someone young(ish) and active, first in the ER, then in ICU? This is my person, my sister in Christ, my best friend of almost 40 years, someone who fixes everything broken. How could this happen?
Three surgeries in 3 weeks, and the days stretched on. An agonizing night in the hospital praying and holding her hand when she awoke battling fear and great pain. You quickly get used to a different life. It’s very hard to watch someone you love suffer, and harder still for them, cast suddenly into a world of IVs, endless rounds of pain meds, not to mention the horrendous pain itself. If all went well, she was supposed to be home 2 weeks ago, doing therapy and walking around.
I re-learned that a whole host of people have been cast unwillingly into this alternative universe. I learned the agony of waiting in the waiting room for any news at all. Of course, I knew that others had this life and I was empathetic, but I wasn’t part of it. Until you are the one standing at the elevator in exhaustion, forgetting what button to push, it is just a sad nod at someone else’s life.
We have now moved from the hospital life to a convalescent life. An alternative universe of still another set of challenges. The first room she shared an adjoining bathroom with a man who wasn’t all there, both physically and mentally. She awoke to him walking through the room stark naked and he then proceeded peeing all over the bathroom floor. (And she fighting a major infection) Then there was the one who yelled for help all night across the hall. It was starting to feel like “One Flew Over the Cuckcoo’s Nest.” We enlisted the help of a wonderful PT who came to the rescue and got her moved to the next wing. (Thanks be to God). It has been better over there. Thankfully, the staff for the most part is good and geared toward getting people out of there if they possibly can.
Thanksgiving came and went in the hospital, and Christmas will come and go in Rehab. Our Holidays have been spent clinging to the Rock (Psalm 18:2) and calling on the name of Jehovah Rapha, our healer. I drove through some of the roughest streets in Stockton at night during Thanksgiving. An adorable porch display on Acacia Street with lights and inflatable turkeys made me cry for some reason but I was grateful for it. Something about the hope in that silly little display touched my heart. In my other life, I would never have driven any of those streets at night, (there was a gang shooting that took place close by that same week), But God delivered me from all fear and brought me safely home each time.
And Satan, ever vigilant to swoop on those who belong to the Lord, one morning got the best of me. My thoughts were blackest of black and his voice taunted me. “Does the Lord always heal?” He then set about reminding me of all those who I had prayed for in the past who had left this earth for eternity anyway.
It’s easy to have faith when you think you know the outcome, but how about when the path ahead is obscured? That takes real faith. It’s the “Help my unbelief” kind of faith.
When my mind was grasping for sanity, there in the dark I cried to the Lord as the Psalmist did:
In my trouble I cried to the Lord, and He answered me. Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue. Psalm 120:1,2
In this case the lying lips were straight from hell, and I don’t belong there. I told him that too. I claimed the blood of Jesus over all of it. And then like a crack of warm oil flowing into my heart God reminded me of how I had been healed so many years ago. “Remember that day, Lori?” Oh yes, Lord I do. Please forgive me for listening to that voice even for a minute. Then I got up and prayed face down upon the chair and felt all the darkness dissipate. The cats were worried.
And the day got better. On the way to the Rehab a rainbow revealed itself as God’s eternal promise. This after weeks of no sun in sight. And later, in the Doctors office, Elaine got both drain tubes taken out. (We prayed for at least one). Later I stopped by the library having dumped the 3 books I couldn’t seem to focus on, there on the new shelf was the new one by Jan Karon. Another God sign, (I’ll take it).
In light of all these things, we hold out Hope because we know the One who can vanquish the darkness of this world.She has been asking everyone in the hospital if they know Jesus. When you have been through the valley of shadows struggling for breath, you realize again what’s truly important.
In the meantime, while we are here in the “Waiting Room” of this world before eternity, here is my Christmas list for those grasping for the Light in a world that has gone very dark.
No more waiting rooms, no more waiting for test results, no more shattered hearts. No more grief that sucks the life out of you. I look for the time of turning swords into plow shears, and hearts softening and turning to Jesus who holds the keys of death and hades, but also holds out the perfect gift which is himself, so we never have to worry about the latter.
You’ve got this because He’s got you. We know firsthand the flipside of Gloom and His name is Jesus.
Earth, strike up your music, birds that sing and bells that ring; Heaven hath answering music for all Angels soon to sing: Earth, put on your whitest Bridal robe of spotless snow: For Christmas bringeth Jesus, brought for us so low. Christina Rossetti
Then God said, “Let there be light, and there was light……” in the muck and mire of this world’s mess the way we know it today, there is still and always light. This morning, I was surprised by the crescent moon peeking through the window where I usually see Venus. (She hadn’t come up yet).
I thought, how could someone not believe? How could they just take for granted the moon still hanging there after all these years? Sitting there on this spinning planet, that’s what I thought. And of this verse….
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–His eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20
Everything was perfect. Everything according to God and creation itself, was good, beyond good. In fact, even in our skewed version, dulled and marred by the effects of sin’s corrosion, it is still blindingly beautiful at times. Can you even imagine how it was in the beginning? We are squinting through a keyhole, closing one eye to get a better view. The Bible puts it like this:
“Now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” (by God) my paraphrase in parenthesis.
I always look for hearts in creation. Do you see it? God’s love spills over into all creation, us being His very own crown jewel. His love beats throughout all things. It’s so easy, looking around at the chaos we’ve created down here to forget who is truly in control. But we can be assured, God remains on the throne.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded? 22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. 23 He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing. 24 No sooner are they planted, no sooner are they sown, no sooner do they take root in the ground, than he blows on them and they wither, and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff. Isaiah 40: 21-24
If you haven’t yet sensed it, we are in a Spiritual battle that has raged since sin entered the world. And if you don’t believe in the concept of sin, there is not much I can say. The battle is heating up, but we don’t have to fear. We know the outcome and God is in the business of restoring our crumbling creation, and our crumbling souls too if we let Him.
Israel is being persecuted all over the world, such as we never thought we’d see again after World War II. We are seeing history repeating itself, and God is watching. He is waiting for the right time, and prayerfully, we are waiting with Him. The Prophecies have all been fulfilled. All except one. The time is short, as Billy Graham used to say in every sermon:
“Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” 2 Corinthians 6:2
I leave you with hope and the future as it will be someday, from the book of Isaiah…….God is, and always will be in the business of loving, and restoration:
Isaiah 2: 1-4: The word which Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem. Now it will come about that in the last days, the Mountain of the house of the Lord will be established as the chief of the mountains andwill be raised above the hills: and all the nations will stream to it. And many peoples will come and say, “Come let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of Jacob; that He may teach us concerning His ways, and that we may walk in His paths.” For the law will go forth from Zion and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. And He will judge between the nations and will render decisions for many peoples; and they will hammer their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, and NEVER again will they learn war.
I don’t know about you, but that sounds mighty good to me about now.
There are those days when I want so badly to write but nothing comes. Today was one. I started a whole blog post but felt as if I were digging into a place I didn’t want to have to dig out of. Mentally. It’s a beautiful Indian summer day. Can we still use that term? I used my fluffy blanket last night which makes me happy going to bed. Even if I have to throw them off during the night in a fit of clammy huffiness. Then I awoke with a feeling of the ground shifting (not an earthquake). It’s not quite fear, just uneasiness. I fished my phone out from under my pillow, pulled up You Tube, and found an Abide called, “Peaceful Night with God (Stories for Sleep) within about 15 minutes I was fast asleep. They don’t work for everyone, my friend tried it and she kept waiting for a story with a beginning, middle and end. They don’t do that, rather they meander around like some Jazz tunes do.
Anyway, I have felt uneasy the last few days, and I remember this morning that the second was the day my mom went to Heaven. The second was Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar; the Day of Atonement. Tradition holds that one’s fate for the coming year is sealed on Yom Kippur, which determines if their name is written in the Book of Life. That’s the really big most important book. This is how you can know you are there: https://bibletruths.org/is-your-name-written-in-the-lambs-book-of-life/
Yom Kippur commemorates the day when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the 10 Commandments which God Himself wrote on with a finger of lightning. Of course, after praying and fasting, he came down and found that Israel had fashioned their own god (small g). They had got tired of waiting. Don’t be too judgmental, I can remember many times in my life when I got tired of waiting for answered prayer and I’m sure you can too. All I have to do is try to put my phone away for two hours and I realized just how close I come to worshiping something man-made.
Anyway, it’s a beautiful day. I’m going over to feed my aunt’s neighbors’ cats, then go to church and after that attend our local Fall Festival downtown. I asked God this morning in prayer if He would shift the insides to sunny instead of cloudy gloom and it seems like He’s done it. (Thank you God) The best thing we can do on any given day is to be thankful. Being thankful is the best way to Worship God. And don’t forget to thank God for your washer and dryer. Having to go to a Laundromat for 8 years is extremely humbling. Just now, a train blew through, and I thank God for that. I always pray that the conductor won’t have to worry about someone passed out on the tracks. (It’s happened many times) I remember how I missed trains in Arizona.
Of course we are thinking about 9/11 2001 today. We are also grieving about the senseless act of evil yesterday. The murder of a beloved conservative leader. How do we go about continuing on with life when something like this happens? I remember well, the numb shock of 9/11 so many years ago. I feel much the same today, though circumstances were much different. Disbelief and awe, grief and sadness. How to keep going in the wake of tragedy?
Charlie Kirk was a man who stood unashamedly and boldly for Christ, and Christian values. When he was only 18 he saw a need to create a forum where kids could get together and have free discussion without fear. He founded the organization Turning Point USA. He encouraged open and honest debate on both sides. He worked tirelessly up until the time he was gunned down in cold blood yesterday.
How are we to go on as a nation when people have to fear retribution or death for disclosing their views in a public forum? We have to go on living, but not as if nothing has happened. We go on living but not unchanged. We go on living because that’s what Americans do, but in this time in history we need to stand up and not stand down. For too long we have allowed ourselves to be bullied into submission by a culture that wants us to feel guilty for loving our country or daring to believe what the Bible says.
Never in a million years did I ever think I would see such hatefulness from fellow citizens in my own country. Never did I think I would see two assassination attempts on a current sitting President. I hid my Trump sticker after he won the Presidency, and I would never dare to wear a MAGA hat in public for fear of being shouted down or even shot. Believe me, I’ve seen it. This needs to stop.
For a long time, our American culture has been slowly growing a cancer, and now it has fully metastasized. The question is how did we get here? Somehow, we have become a society that applauds the murder of someone whose views we disagree with. A prominent newscaster yesterday, after Charlie Kirk was mercilessly killed at a public event in view of thousands of people had the audacity and bad taste to say that his words probably caused his murder. I quote: “hateful thoughts lead to hateful words, which then lead to hateful actions.” Please tell me what those hateful words were, because I never heard any.
This is a symptom of a deep soul sickness that desperately needs a cure. I have heard distressing things all over the internet today, of all days, that people were celebrating Charlie Kirk’s death. Last night two little children wondered why their Daddy didn’t come home.
So how do we respond today? We need to pause. We need to silence the voices all around us. Give this the memorial space it deserves, like we’ve been doing for years with 9/11. And those of us who believe know that this is a Spiritual battle that will ultimately be won. So today, we need to pray, and after we’ve collected ourselves, press on. For the good of our country and our world.
There is only one Cure and hope for the nation and the world in which we live. That Cure is Jesus. His redemption plan is the remedy for the sickness of sin and death. He stands ready to deliver us. I need him, Charlie is with Him today, and I pray the shooter finds Him before it’s not too late.
I remember Arizona, walking outside on the first day after a long relentless summer and being surprised by relief. No one knows that except someone that has been through as least one year in the desert. We’ve had a short heat wave here but nothing like those days. To us it’s nothing, for we have the hope of the delta breezes and relief at night. You wouldn’t think I would miss it, and I don’t miss that parts of it. The magic of the desert did a number on my heart and soul that stays with me. It was so easy to see God in the sky, in the storms, in the backdrop of the Superstition Mountains as I came home after a long 12-hour shift.
I got to visit a really unique property yesterday, acres of wide-open spaces and views galore. I miss seeing the sky. I remember my Dad commenting on how much sky you can see in the desert when he came to visit. I didn’t think too much about it until we moved back to tree land. “Dirty nasty trees” is what Elaine calls them. (Using her best Gollum voice) Hence the sap that has settled on my car due to parking downtown last night. Oh well, everywhere has its drawbacks. I did enjoy seeing the bees on our crepe myrtle this morning. Something about watching them go from bloom to bloom reinforces the fact that all is not lost. There are still bees left.
I remember when all the women (and some men) bloggers were jumping on Jen Hatmaker’s bandwagon. I never understood it, and I was skeptical. I won’t say anything about it since Anne says it so much better than I could but give it a read. And enjoy your Sunday. Go to church, and if you don’t have one find one. And don’t try to find a perfect one so don’t try. I have found that I ruin every perfect church I find. The most important thing is that you hear about God there and that they preach out of His book.
In the meantime, I will try to find another chair, Atticus claimed mine when I got up.
It’s gone…..and it was hard, and it was easy. Easy because it was time, hard because I know those times won’t be coming again. There are the memories though, lots of them. Those will be there forever, God willing, hidden and vibrant in the core of my being for a long time to come. I don’t have to work too hard to hear those sounds. Feel the excitement of getting ready, packing, shopping. I don’t know about you, but road trips usually mean getting treats you don’t usually allow yourself. For me, it’s Cherry Poptarts, only Cherry, no others will do. When I was a kid, it was Svenhardts packaged rolls and pancakes over the Coleman stove. Man, those were good. As long as I live, I will hear the noises of Lower Pines Campground waking up in Yosemite. The pounding of tent pegs echoing off those sheer granite cliffs. Stellars jays squawking from branch to branch. The promise of coffee which tasted of liquid gold as the finger of light crept over Sierra Point, warming the edge of the meadow.
Road trips are a special kind of magic because you never know what you might see on the road. We’ve rounded a bend on the Oregon coast to see a car overturned with a man standing outside of it scratching his head. A couch in the middle of the road. An elk the size of a small state just about to cross the road. A windshield wiper blowing off with a storm approaching. And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a thunderstorm rolling across the desert. And all the anticipation of the arrival of your destination in the forefront of your mind.
Many years after the tent camping days of my childhood, the 2004 Fleetwood Flair was purchased. It was a brand-new era. It was more glamping than camping and it was wonderful. All the joy and freedom of camping out with a soft bed and as many shoes and boots as I wanted. Excuse me for a few minutes while I let my mind wander. How can you explain the freedom of hitting the road and finally reaching your destination? Waiting with bated breath as you find out where the camp host has parked you. And then, the setup, which was minimal in the Motorhome, that was the best part. As the camp chairs are finally dragged to the right spot you feel yourself exhale, knowing you’ll be here for a while. Cut off from the cares of jobs, responsibilities, and life. Freedom.
I guess you could say this life is one long road trip, full of good and bad, trial and error, mishaps, mistakes and then finally the times when you coast. Everything going right. You savor those times, and you enjoy the scenery. Maybe you even think about your destination. Not the immediate one, the final one. I think as we get older, we do more thinking along those lines, or maybe we try not to think about it at all. It’s there in the question that frames itself in conversations with others or thoughts before we drift off to sleep. But it’s there just the same.
Jesus had lots to say about our final destinations. Both of them. If you don’t believe in a final destination, you probably don’t think too much about it. As Christian believers, our faith, our life, is centered on the hope that only Jesus has the ticket for our final destination. But even more than a vain hope, it’s a knowledge based on His life, death and resurrection. He’s the One who paid our admission. The only One who can. So, know this:
Life is Good. But life with Jesus the life is everlasting.The most important Road Trip you will ever take.
Lori's Prayer Closet 