What He said

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 8:37

I had a rough start this morning. I was feeling under the weather, but I successfully made it out the door. I have one more day and then I get on a plane to go see friends and family and one little girl who has been very excited that I am coming. Every day for a month she has been asking…..”Lori come today?”  It is somewhat bittersweet……it is hard to leave when I know how difficult it will be without me here. But I have a very gracious friend, and she knows how important it is for me to be there too.

I gave out a relieved sigh as I got in the car and buckled in. I slid the CD into the player, the one I picked somewhat blindly since I didn’t have my glasses on. As the notes filled the car I felt the beauty played by Phil Keaggy flow through my soul. Healing…..incredible, the power that music has to heal.

As I watched the light fill the sky and turn it every different shade of violet, I remembered what I heard last night from Ellen Johnson, president of the American Atheists,  as interviewed by Barbara Walters.

“Heaven doesn’t exist, hell doesn’t exist. We weren’t alive before we were born and we’re not going to exist after we die. I’m not happy about the fact that that’s the end of life, but I can accept that and make my life more fulfilling now, because this is the only chance I have,” she tells Walters.

No, I thought, I don’t accept it, absolutely not.  And everything I see and hear and feel around me tells me otherwise. This is the tip of the iceberg, my friends. And to me, this morning, Heaven felt more real than anything else. And besides, as Elaine said, if we are wrong, then we have simply lived a good life, but if she is wrong……I said, “Yeah, it’s gonna be a very long eternity.”

I have seen people die with Christ, and I have seen people die without Him, and I can tell you this for sure. The ones with Christ have the lights of Heaven reflected in their eyes when they go, I have seen it myself.

I believe the proof I see all around me, and I take Jesus at His word that Heaven is very real indeed. When people ask me what I believe about Heaven, all I need to do is point to Jesus and say…”What He said.”

This is only the beginning.
“But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But, as it is written,”What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” 1 Corinthians 2:7-9

Will there be horses in Heaven?

There is one prayer I have had that was never answered…..From my earliest memory, from the time I actually believed there was a God and that I could pray to Him I prayed that one morning I would wake up and there would be a horse in the front yard. From the time I first saw one, I was instantly in awe. I held them in reverence that was almost godlike.

It started with the pony rides. I didn’t care about anything else at the carnival, if there were ponies going around a ring I was there. My Dad would shell out the two bits. And in Yosemite there was what I would classify as a deluxe pony ride. We got to ride on a track, all around the stables….oh they were pure wonder. Which one would I get? I didn’t care, to me they were all as magical as unicorns.

We used to camp in old Camp 7……and just on the border ran the horse trail. My favorite part of the day was when they would come through. I can still hear my Dad announce, “Here come the horses!”

Oh, I would hear the footfall of those wondrous creatures as they walked through the carpet of dry pine needles that fell across the trail. The sound of them, blowing and breathing and neighing. I would stand stock still as we watched every last one pass.

And when finally the day came that I myself could go……….I was on top of the world. I was taller than anything. My big gentle brown quarter horse with a butt as big as a house was my new best friend. I could have cried as I bent down to hug his neck as he carried me into a place I had never been before, but only dreamed of.

Then, as what happens so often, we grow up and put away our dreams and convince ourselves those joys may be for someone else, but not for us.

And still, as I see them, even now. I remember that magic. And I wonder, will there be horses in Heaven? I think that if God created animals in the first place, he must want them there.

The Bible says He will be riding in on a white horse, after all.

Maybe I will be riding with Him? Maybe we all will…….

I am posting this today because sometimes just remembering something magical is miracle enough.  the joy of living, the joy of memory carries us through.

And it’s all a gift from God.

Joining in with these wonderful folks today just because I want to, not because this post necessarily has anything to do with promises or counting blessings. But then again, maybe it has everything to do with it!


How we can still have hope

“Friends, Jesus come down to a place where every last man, woman, and child is living on death row. You’d think the least thing we could do was draw close and comfort each other, but no. Except for a few loved ones, we close the doors of our hearts and bolt them tight on each other.” Frederick Buechner, Listening to Your Life devotional

As born again believers, we have our feet firmly planted in two worlds. This idea of the Kingdom coming to earth was a theme that Jesus spoke about again and again. Everybody always tried to figure out what in the world He was talking about. He said, it is here, it is now. And they scratched their heads, and so do we. Because as we look around we see a world in a state of disrepair…….a world wounded and cursed.

They were probably thinking, “What world is He living in?”

And yet, there is still so much beauty shining through it. We can see glimpses of how God meant it to be in the very beginning when it was unmarred, perfect…..and so were we.

And all around us, people are on their way to one of two places. There are no other choices. This earth is as close to in between as it gets.

The miracle is that, even as we asks ourselves how we can still have hope, even when friends and family scurry like cockroaches when the light is flipped on. We know the answer.

When we look around and everyone we put our hope in has gone and we are as alone as the woman caught in adultery. We wait for the stones to strike our flesh and to our relief, we hear the thud as they strike the ground instead. And then the miraculous part…..Jesus is there. And with a smile in His voice He says, “Where are your accusers?”

We feel her freedom as she walks away, forgiven and on her way to a new life. That same freedom is ours. And that’s why we can still hope. He is here, He is now, and we aren’t in Heaven yet, but we can see the shore.

And even in the halls of the rest home, where the antiseptic rises up to meet us, and we smell the chaser smells after, the ones the soap and cleanser tries to hide. We feel it here too. The hope in the midst of fear……the Heaven in the midst of hell. In that place, in all places, people are on their way to Heaven.

We hear and sing the songs in church, and we remember the times when they were just nice songs. And then we remember when the inner light was flipped on. When the Holy Spirit collided with ours. Now we sing and the words spring to life.

Thankful today, so thankful for the One who never leaves, and the one who keeps count of our deeds Himself……..#922-932

water that refreshes like nothing else does, garden reaching up to sky, quiet talks that unburden souls, new friends, living water that never runs dry, good medical news for my Mom, courage to put one step in front of the other…again, birds in the fountain, safe trip home for Elaine’s brother, sauce made from home grown tomatoes bubbling on the stove.


 

Morning Prayer

But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open  and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” Acts 7:55,56

From my prayer journal:

Lord, how I love my time with you. Sometimes I sit out here and I feel only myself, all my thoughts, rattling around in my head in knots of confusion. My fears jangling, the world’s emptiness weighing down my soul. Its hard to see you then, but I know it’s all okay. I know you’re still there. It’s the trust you need to build in me, and the trust I need to see in myself.

And without those times of trust and patient waiting, despite how I feel……..the sweetness of this fellowship wouldn’t be nearly as sweet, the joy not as complete. What a reward when you meet me!

How I love to sit at your feet and dream of how it’s going to be that day when finally we meet face to face. It occurs to me that maybe this enjoyment, this sweetness is all an allusion. Maybe I just don’t know any better—like if I realized just how Holy you really were, are…..I could never be here like this. Then I remember what you did to make this all possible.

I remember the cross.

And I imagine what Stephen saw when He saw the Heaven opened as he was being stoned to death. Or rather, stoned to life. I think of the joy I’ll feel when I look at you. My first response will be to fall at your feet in reverence, even fear. Overwhelmed by your Presence……your beauty.

Then I will hear that voice of many waters. The one I have imagined ever since I met you. I will hear the love pouring out, unbelievable love for me. And what wonder, what unbelievable rapture when I lift my head expecting judgment, yet seeing more love in your eyes that I ever knew was possible.

“The one thing I ask of the LORD–the thing I seek most–is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, delighting in the LORD’s perfections and meditating in his Temple.” Psalm 27:4

The enjoyment of being found…..

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; Philippians 3:8,9

I found you! I said as I chased her around the tree and she shrieked for joy……I was playing with my niece when I was back home last. Her new game is hide and seek and she loves being found! She hasn’t quite gotten the hang of tag yet. When she talks on the phone, she walks around the house and thinks I can see what she’s holding up, maybe that’s because she Skypes with her Mommy and sissy……And she doesn’t like saying goodbye……we have that in common. She comes with the joy that is unique to special needs kids.

She is like anyone else, she loves being found, and belonging to someone. Isn’t that what we all want after all? We want to feel that feeling of seeing the one we love winding their way through a crowd to meet us, just us. And then the scrape of the chair when they pull it next to you…..they are there, you are no longer alone, someone has claimed you. They know things about you that no one else does….

Sometimes we even seek to be claimed by those who really don’t have our best interests at heart, but their own.

When Jesus claims us, we can be sure that He has our best interests at heart always. And He will never lead us down a path of destruction, but life, and peace. And because of our relationship with Him, we are also claimed by the Father and the Spirit!

Jesus endured that long, lonely 40 days of temptation in the desert so that we will never have to be without Him again….and those of us who live in the desert know just how bleak it can be, especially in the summer…….He endured the cross so that we can say with the unbridled joy of a child peeking out from behind a tree…..”You found me!”

He rose from that awful death so that one evening not so far in the distant future, in a another place, we will be walking in the cool of the evening in a place we can can only dimly imagine, and He will be there to meet us and say, “There you are, I have been looking for you, just you.”

And that time, we won’t be hiding behind fig leaves……..

Going Deep

Sometimes I wonder why I am content to wade………and I wonder how my life would look if I dared to go deep with God. I have gone deep before so I know how it feels. When things are good and I feel like I have things under control I tend to stay in the shallows. I read my Bible and pray, but just enough……
Then when I get desperate, I submerge myself in Scripture……..Prayer……..Calling out to God…..fasting.….And of course, He is there. He always answers. The truth hits home, for when are we ever not desperate in this life?
When do we not need Him? I wonder how my life would look if I truly lived by the Spirit’s leading. If I listened to that quiet voice when it beckoned more often. 
What is it that prevents me from walking that close, that intimate with my Heavenly Father?
I guess it really comes down to fear of where He might lead, what He might ask….So much so, that I forget all the blessing that He assures me would come with it.

Then I remember that was the first sin of Adam and Eve…….He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid. 
His love for the children of His creation led His steps to the Garden,
To the Cross.
He even went so far as to fill us with His Spirit so that we may never be without Him.

Shouldn’t that be enough to convince me of His love? That where He leads I need never fear?
Yet sometimes I still fear. This life is full of it.
And still His Grace is with me, walking where I walk.
And someday, in that face to face place called Heaven we will walk again without fear in the Garden.
No separation, ever again.
The future is bright my friends.
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

The Song around the throne

Don’t you wonder where it comes from? That hymn that you almost forgot? It shows up when you are tired, or anxious, or fearful. Or maybe it’s a verse that comes just when you need it. They float in and out. Sometimes they are like a little whisper deep in your soul.

That’s the Holy Spirit. He can’t keep from singing….and in the quiet places in my soul, I join in. I may be anxious, or scared, or worried. But when I hear His song, my own spirit sings along. The arrow of truth sinks deep. It’s His way of reminding me.

Jesus is all I need. Jesus is all I need. That’s the one I kept hearing this morning. Yes, I know He is. My mind and all my past experiences and logic tell me so and I know it to be true. He is more than enough. It’s my heart that falters, slow to get the message.

I was worried about my Mom yesterday. They had to give her a new medication because her heart was beating too fast. The Doctor mentioned stroke. I realized again that someday, sooner than later, I will have to live without her, and I don’t want to.

Jesus is enough, yes. But I want her here too. I can’t think that she won’t be here as long as I will.

I was so distracted and worried that it took someone with Alzheimer’s in the passenger seat to tell me that I had the green arrow….that was right after I heard the loud honking behind me.

Then I got irritated at them because they were impatient and I honked back.

As my cousin would say, Onward Christian Soldiers.

Sometimes it does feel like a war.

Inside me He is singing and I am doing my best to sing along. There is an endless song around the throne of God that I like to imagine. And it never stops.

That’s the one the Holy Spirit sings….and its the one we will all sing one day, by and by.

Eden Restored

“Thou hast made us for Thyself, and our heart is restless until it finds it’s rest in Thee.” St. Augustine
Everything the world is seeking so desperately can be found in the person of Jesus. Finding Him is like finding our forever home……
Drinking from the river of life is possible right here and now. I can stand on it’s shore, cup my hand under the crystalline waters and drink deep. Because of Him and what He made possible.
He is my quiet country lane I seek when I want peace…..my cool breeze in the sweltering heat of a desert summer. My bridge to Eden……My everything I have ever longed for, every desire of my deepest longing, even the ones I don’t know about, is satisfied in Him and through Him.
But without Him I am never satisfied.
I could ache like I do, for the pines or for the ocean swells and go to that quiet place, a closet even, and find that I have come out just as refreshed as if I had just spent time watching the waves upon the shore or hearing the wind making the pines sigh.
It is part of my oldest memory, this earth. Part of me and I cannot ever separate myself from it, nor do I want to, for He grew me out of it, this soil, this earth, and to it I will return one day.
Until such time as I reach that Eternal shore where will meet me……Restored.
 He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove his people’s disgrace
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken.

 In that day they will say,
“Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the LORD, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”
Isaiah 25:8,9

Heaven is for Real

“See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:10

Ever want to see what Heaven might look like through the eyes of a four year old boy? I couldn’t resist picking this book up as I strolled by the book aisle at Costco. I usually try to stay away from that section, but this is one I just had to buy.  It beckoned me, it did. I always want to hear what children say, since Jesus thought they were pretty important.

To be honest, my motive for buying it was simple. I wanted a bit of escape from this life for few hours. I had read “90 Minutes in Heaven” and found it to be totally credible. I ended up reading this one in a couple of hours. The book chronicles little Colvin Burpo’s journey to Heaven as he lays in surgery after his appendix ruptures on a family vacation.

To hear Colvin’s descriptions, as only a four year old would tell it, is precious. We have no way of knowing if he actually went there. Maybe it was a very powerful dream, maybe it was a vision. Maybe he actually went. I do believe that in these last days, we are seeing many things that the Bible talks about. I also think that as time goes on, we will see more of them.

“And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.”

This much is true. God wants us to go to Heaven and be with him when we die. In Colvin’s own words:”Well, Jesus told me that he died on the cross so that we could go see His Dad.”

I believe that what little Colvin saw was real. I think there is wonderful potential in these types of books, and that is to point the way to the truth of Scripture. I loved how Colvin’s Dad, who is a Pastor, provides Scripture verses after several examples of what Colvin saw, constantly letting his son tell his story his own way and in his own time. This is a very close family, and a very real family. At one point while Colvin was in surgery and they thought he wouldn’t make it, his Dad tells about how he went into a room and raged at God while praying.

Later Colvin describes that during the time he was in surgery he recalled seeing his Dad in that room praying and his mother in another room, also praying and talking on her cell phone. That gave me chills, since they never told Colvin any of that.

One thing is for sure. Heaven is for real and God wants us to go there.

Sometimes it takes a child to remind us.

From death to life…..

“In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life;” Romans 6:11-13

I wasn’t going to listen to Romans this morning on the way to work. I thought…..I listened to this last week. I have heard it all before…..But I forgot one very important thing about God’s word. It has staying power, the power of life in it. It never fails to bring life to the hearer. As I listened to the words of Paul again, speaking under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I began to get chills up and down my arms.

I was hearing it against the backdrop of everything we have been through these past many months

I got a picture in my mind of impassioned Paul, speaking in front of a courtroom, striding back and forth. One moment Prosecutor of sin, the next brilliant public Defender of the faith, (as if it needed any defending.)

As I listened to the first 6 Chapters the words flowed over me and I reflected on the past 3 days…..that’s where the chills came in. We can go through anything, my friends, because we are a people who have been brought from death to life. That’s how we roll.

That is the reason for the hope that lies within us. That’s the thing that makes it possible to rise up in the morning and do it all again, and with an attitude of hope that no circumstance or person can ever stamp out. That’s the brilliant backdrop, the reality that we can’t see with our eyes, but that we feel with every fiber of our being.

Each one of us knows the truth. We were built to last. Though our bodies are perishing, our God stamp……our spirit, our soul will live on. And one day, we will rise, as He rose, with new bodies. Bodies that can live in God’s world, with Him forever. What a tremendous hope!

 “Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” 1 John 3:2-3

And He is with us now. As I look back on the past few months, I cannot deny God’s hand at work….we have talked about it, Elaine and I. I have stood beside her, helping her to navigate this particular valley of death. That’s what it has felt like anyway.

Dealing with all the stress of a Dad with dementia, one minute angry and accusatory, the next minute apologetic….

His move into a rest home……..

Her Mom’s move in with us…….

Learning to live under the same roof with Alzheimers and everything that goes with it……

The emptying out of their house, which we did ourselves, with the help of some very helpful “angels” to cart off some of the biggest items, finishing only just last Tuesday.

Moving everything left into storage.

And finally, the sale of their home…..I can only say that God has been glorified through it all, because we know the truth of these words……”I will never leave you or forsake you……and He hasn’t…..and He won’t.

And in between all these lines there is the everyday life, the toughest part. Where the nitty-gritty battles are fought day in and day out. The fatigue and stress of living with someone who has lived their whole life through a prism of negativity. The life you escaped from.

I look back in disbelief at what we did……the three of us.

I look ahead with hope, because He showed us again that He will never leave us.