Grace

Meditating on His Love

“Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
“In that day,” declares the LORD,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master.
Hosea 2:14-16

This is how much He loves us!

Why is it always easier to anticipate God’s wrath than to perceive God’s joy? Ever expecting to be shot, we’re invariably dumbfounded by a grace we can’t conceive. Belden C. Lane, The Solace of Fierce Landscapes
Kind of like finding water in the desert……
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance.
Isaiah 40:12
Sometimes you don’t need very many words at all, you just need to sit quietly and and find His love in the stillness of little moments throughout the day….and always, remember to listen to the birds no matter what.

Finding grace along the path


On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?”

Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? What if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him.”

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” Book of John

I think this is the wisest thing Peter ever said. I have wondered about this passage many times. I wonder how these disciples could have been with Jesus, witnessed miracles, and still turned away? To me it is one of the saddest passages in Scripture. Sadder still because I think of my own times of turning away. Moments, years, where I went my own way, did my own thing. Keeping Jesus in the background was my own form of turning away.

But God in His great mercy, pulled me back in, as He did Peter….”But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:32

The more I experience His grace, the less I look back. Like Peter, I can echo, “Where would I go Lord?” There is nothing in the world that I would trade for my relationship with the Lord. Each day that goes by gives me another opportunity and reason to say, “Yes, Lord, I am staying on Your path because it is the only one worth walking down, even when the way is rocky and I can’t see my way around the next bend in the road, because You are on it with me.”

With His Grace, we get the strength to keep walking!

Prayers with no words….

Windows at St. Mary’s Church, Google Images

Forever O Lord, Thy Word is settled in Heaven……Psalm 119:89

This morning I let my prayer be silence. I meditated on everything I have prayed for before. God has them, I know it. Safe in His golden bowl, He keeps them. This morning it seemed right to just give Him a silent offering. I made a blank canvas, as blank as I could anyway, thoughts always seem to crowd in, and carved out an empty place for God to fill.

Today I rest in who He is, I meditate of His power, glory, omnipotence, love….

Sometimes you just need to see what comes back in the silence, so I made my soul as still as an empty church. Sometimes you just need to make yourself a living Psalm, fill yourself up with your need for God, your need for answers, your need to know He is listening. So today I sat in the hush of His peace, silence of no words. The mourning dove cooing on the eaves of the neighbor’s roof prayed eloquently for me today.

In meditating on His strength, I become acutely aware of my weakness and utter inability to do anything apart from Him. That is a good place to start the day.

After all, as the Psalmist says…..Forever O Lord, Thy Word is settled in Heaven……Psalm 119:89Whatever happens and however out of control you feel, God remains in control. This is a comforting thought.

Thankful today for the peace that only He can give……#411 doves gentle call, #412 prayers in silence, #413 soft music that soothes, #414 the wisdom of His word spoken through wise friends, #415 cats soft purr, #416 real hugs, #417 laughter that heals the soul, #418 much needed rain in the desert, #419 family that taught me His love, #420, the Holy Spirit who puts our soul at rest…..
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Prayer Thoughts…..

Greer, Arizona

The thought sunk like a stone in my being during prayer this morning. It was out of the blue, I was sitting there in quiet meditation and this thought came: “God is not all that concerned about your happiness.” What?? Where did that come from? The thought hit like a minor chord and stuck in my brain. I stopped praying and asked God what He meant by that. I waited……

“I am not here for you, you are here for Me.”

“But God,” I thought, “I am an American, you know, life liberty and the pursuit of happiness and all that.”

“Yes, well that isn’t in my Book anywhere, go read about my Disciples.”

Ouch.

What does God want from me, from any of us? He deserves my whole self. A heart that is completely His. Undivided with the world. A world that everyday clamors for attention. It shouts, it screams, it jumps up and down and waves its hands wildly.

God whispers.

He cares deeply about me, but He cares even more about His lost sheep, those who aren’t His yet. Today I got a lesson that I wasn’t expecting. A thought that snuck up on me unawares. It made me stop, re-evaluate myself, pay attention to what God was trying to tell me.

I seek happiness. God says lose your life so you can find it. He wants me to be a light in the darkness around me, even if it means doing something that makes me uncomfortable. To my way of thinking God seems to do things backwards. But then I remember how much higher His thoughts are than mine. I seek happiness, and in the end I get something much better. When I seek His kingdom first, I get showered with the fruits of the spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22,23

Thank you Lord, for helping me to realize again that you have already given me everything I could possible need, want or desire in the person of Jesus Christ!

God Wants You


We can say that God is love and we would be speaking the truth. But in order to fully understand His love, we must grasp His holiness as well. I hear many messages of God’s love and it is good to be reminded of it, but if we preach love only and leave out His holiness, we make God less than what He is. We diminish His character. We leave out what makes His love so perfect and complete. When we understand how Holy God is, and how completely hopeless our situation is apart from Christ, we begin to see the depth of His sacrifice and love. He didn’t want us to be shut out from His presence, it grieved Him so much that He sacrificed a part of Himself, His Son. “I and the Father are One” John 10:30 Only an unimaginably terrible parent would be unaffected by the suffering of their child.

God has not left one thing undone, and there is now absolutely nothing to prevent us from drawing close, being ushered into His presence as His very own sons and daughters. This is what He has always wanted. Don’t we all want a love like that? A love that says, no matter how far you stray, I will do everything I can to get you back, even if it means inflicting pain on Myself! Not only that, He gives us a new identity. You never have to feel misplaced again, unwanted, stranded on the island of misfit toys, without a place to belong.

We serve a God who does not sit on His hands, idly disinterested in the events of the world. Even now He fights for us……”Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died–more than that, who was raised to life–is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” Romans 8:34

That means we never have to go through anything alone again….

God is in the thunder that rolls, and the lightning that splits the sky, but He is also in the gentle breeze that whispers our name. The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3

Thankful for another Birthday!


Lord, I stand before you today so very grateful to have had fifty one years of life. I think of all You have brought me through and I can only stand in awe of how You have loved me. It brings me to tears in quiet times of contemplation when I think of the many times I have turned away from You…..

You remained steadfast, and knew that I would come back. How can I contemplate such a love? A love that does not move, does not budge even with all the meanderings of my heart.

With every passing year, I pray that I bring you more and more of myself and cling to less of everything else.

Lord Jesus, we are silly sheep who have dared stand before You and try to bribe You with our preposterous portfolios. Suddenly we have come to our senses. We are sorry and ask You to forgive us. Give us the grace to admit we are ragamuffins, to embrace our brokenness, to celebrate Your mercy when we are at our weakest, to rely on Your mercy no matter what we may do.

Dear Jesus, gift us to stop grandstanding and trying to get attention, to do the truth quietly without display, to let the dishonesties in our lives fade away, to accept our limitations, to cling to the gospel of grace, and to delight in Your love. Amen
Brennan Manning “The Ragamuffin Gospel

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

Making peace with my spots

My Mom and her dear friend Pat were conversing over coffee, when something in the conversation prompted Pat to say, “I have never liked myself.” She said it softly, looking down at the table. I must preface this to say that Pat is one of the most giving, loving people that I have ever met. When Pat says “I will pray for you,” it is no trite statement, she says it from the depths of her innermost being.

My Mom had her Bible on the table, so she opened it to Psalm 139 and started reading aloud. Then she got to this part:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

Great tears slid down her cheeks, for she was convicted. Pat loves God with a depth that knows no bounds. When she read those lines she knew that she had failed Him and it crushed her.

Since that day her whole countenance has changed. She feels differently about herself now and it shows. Even her daughter noticed the difference! Now she is sharing the message with others. Her new found freedom is infectious. Her enthusiasm has infected me to pass it along…..and learn.

So today I am taking a lesson from Pat, and my Mom. I have never liked my skin. It has given me problems since I was twelve years old. Severe acne plagued me up until such time as they invented Accutane. That drug was a miracle for me….I also have large pores and freckles. I have always coveted beautiful skin. You know the kind, no pores at all, looks like porcelain. My dear friend always leads me around the cosmetics section at Dillard’s and Macy’s. She knows how I feel.

I am making peace with my “spots” as they call them in the UK. All of them. Instead of saying or thinking, “I hate my spots,” I am going to say, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and my skin has made me the person I am today.”

God created my spots, and He created Yours too, whatever they are! I am praying that God will help me to wear them beautifully and with grace. For I am His little spotted lamb!

Redemption and Conversion


“Oswald Chambers said that conversion is a human act — turning away from sin, and a sinful lifestyle. Redemption, however, is something that is received. God does it for us. He wrote that too many so-called Christians have not gotten beyond conversion — they have joined a church, and given up some old habits, but they have not yet received anything from God, and are satisfied as they are.

Conversion is a gift and an achievement. It is the act of a moment and the work of a lifetime. You cannot attain salvation by disciplines—it is the gift of God. But you cannot retain it without disciplines. If you try to attain salvation by disciplines, you will be trying to discipline an unsurrendered self. You will be sitting on a lid. The result will be tenseness instead of trust. “You will wrestle instead of nestle.” While salvation cannot be attained by discipline around an unsurrendered self, nevertheless when the self is surrendered to Christ and a new center formed, then you can discipline your life around that new center—Christ. Discipline is the fruit of conversion—not the root.” E. Stanley Jones

A further illustration of God’s love and grace is demonstrated by the fact that we can’t even willfully turn from sin and turn to Christ without God’s initiation, so the whole thing is one huge act of Grace from start to finish…..”No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day.” John 6:44
To watch the conversion and redemption process in someones life is to witness a true miracle of our modern day. When you begin to see changes in your own life that you know deep down could only come with the help of God, that’s a miracle. When you look back at where you started and see how far you have come….that’s Gods Grace. When you realize how far you still have to go, that’s Grace again. Jesus did the hard part, but now we follow in His steps, however haltingly, yet we have the assurance of victory at the end of the race.

“So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 7:21-25

The Moving Box


I put it out by the curb, this perfectly good moving box. I tried to throw it away but I couldn’t. I took about two steps away from it and then turned and retrieved it and put it back on the shelf. If I had left it out on the curb, that would have meant I was totally committed to six more years here until my retirement. This way, I have a small hope that it will happen sooner.

Sometimes we hold onto something small because it represents something bigger.

The box represents a dream. Of moving back to my hometown. A place of permanence. No more moving. Of spending some good years with my folks before they pass on….of building a relationship with my 7 year old niece, of being a real Auntie instead of a bit player in her life. Of buying a little home with a shelf for African violets, and maybe a garden.

Around the time I thought maybe I heard the call to go back, my home was sold at an unbelievable price, right before the bottom dropped out. God sold that home, not the realtor. Then things happened that made thinking of a move more difficult. The economy took a dive. California, my home state, is now in financial ruin. Everyday I hear the reports of friends there who have lost their jobs. And my job is secure, I have great benefits.

When I started with this company I never dreamed that God would place me in the job I have now. He literally placed me here, of that I have no doubt. I have no college degree, and yet He has given me success here for fourteen years!

Even so, for about 7 years now I have felt like one of the virgins with the lamp stand, ready for the knock at the door. I thought I heard the Bridegroom coming, several times. Maybe I did, and maybe I ignored Him. I get these thoughts:
But if he got me this job, couldn’t He get me another? Is my faith too weak? Is my God too small? Has my job become my god? All these questions run around in my head and I know God is tired of them, I know I am.

I wonder, did I miss the window of opportunity? Did I get the timing wrong? Did I not recognize His voice? Does that mean that He has balled up the master plan and thrown it into the throne fire? No more chances for me? Or is there a possibility that this is all part of the plan itself and I am right where He wants me to be for now? Are you tired, because I sure am.

Softly His voice speaks to my heart, “As I was with the Israelites in the desert so am I with you. I led them with my Presence as I will continue to lead you. I love you with an everlasting love that will never cease and nothing will ever change that.”

Maybe you feel like you missed a window of opportunity. Maybe it was a big one. God was not surprised by that. He is an expert at creating new windows.

“To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:1-3

God cares about our dreams, and longs to give us the desires of our heart. Right now the desire of my heart, even more than my dream is Him. His ways, His path is what matters most. It is the only sure place to step. So I will keep walking, keep lighting the lamp of His word. Keep praying. He has given me tremendous peace at times when I least expected it. And He will do the same for you.

Was there ever a time when you feel like you missed His plan? Did He work it out for good anyway?

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Facing Death with Christ


Had a post in mind today but something I read superceded everything else I was feeling and my perspective has changed, for the moment anyway. Perspectives have a way of changing on a dime, sometimes. It’s God’s way of reminding us what is really important. I could almost hear God saying, “Take that!” He threw the windows of my soul open and I could feel the stale air being replaced by the fresh air of His Spirit.

The story was called “Facing Death with Christ”, (On my way to Heaven) by Reverend Mark Ashton vicar of Saint Andrew the Great in Cambridge, England. As Author and friend Tal Brooke writes, “Mark was from the generation of Oxford men following that of John Stott and Dick Lucas, who were determined to bring back the gospel to the Church of England. Over 700 strong from Cambridge University swelled the pews of this church that occupied so critical a crossroads. It was packed everytime I went.”

In December 2008 Mark had a routine gallbladder surgery and cancer was found. It was past the point of surgical removal or any kind of treatment. He remembers telling the surgeon after he had been told the news that, “what he had just told me was, for a Christian believer, not bad news but good; it was not the end of the story, but the beginning.”

Following are some of the quotes from the article, which is very long and unfortunately I couldn’t get an online version. However, you can order the booklet here at Amazon UK.

“We all die as great sinners saved by the great grace of a far greater God. Funeral eulogies rarely present an honest picture of a person’s life. The good is magnified, the bad excluded. But when Christians are remembered as they really were: including their failures and follies, their bad moods and intolerance, their moments of harshness and unkindness, then Christ is made more glorious. For He is the one who has saved us despite our sin; who has loved us even more in their weakness.”

“While physical things spoil and go dim, spiritual things grow brighter and clearer.”

“I can now see that much of what I have striven for and much of what I have allowed to fill my life these 40 years have been of dubious value, I am not now going to gain any further reputation of achieve anything more of significance, and I realize how little that matters.”

“I need to keep short accounts now, because I may never have time to make amends or apology in this life. The Bible speaks to me about this with every great authority and relevance. Each day as I open it, God speaks straight into my heart by his Word. And it tells me what lies beyond this life, I can see the end of life. It looms over the horizon…..I know that it is God’s work and not mine that will get me there.”

It’s unfortunate that it takes something of this magnitude to make our perspective so clear, but most of the time it does.

Mark Ashton went to be with the Lord on Easter Saturday, April 3, surrounded by his family. His last words were, “I am nearly home.”

“For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.” 1 Corinthians 15:16-19

Keeping count in my heart today……
holy experience