God’s goodness

Merciful proof….

Photo from google

“It is only the infinite mercy and love of God that has prevented us from tearing ourselves to pieces and destroying His entire creation long ago. People seem to think that it is in some way a proof that no merciful God exists, if we have so many wars. On the contrary, consider how in spite of centuries of sin and greed and lust and cruelty and hatred and avarice and oppression and injustice, spawned and bred by the free wills of men, the human race can still recover, each time, and can still produce man and women who overcome evil with good, hatred with love, greed with charity, lust and cruelty with sanctity. How could all this be possible without the merciful love of God, pouring out His grace upon us? Can there be any doubt where wars come from and where peace comes from, when the children of this world, excluding God from their peace conferences, only manage to bring about greater and greater wars the more they talk about peace?”
— Thomas Merton (The Seven Storey Mountain)

There is so much that is good in the world, each day we wake to the possibility of witnessing a miracle, if we could only see it as such. What is it about a spectacular sunrise that gives us hope, makes us believe that it is very worth getting up and doing it all again?

There is a Spirit that lives and breathes, that once moved across the waters of the unformed earth, whose breath continues to fill everything in the universe, who moves in us today.

He is behind it all….behind each new blossom, every drop of rain that falls to the ground. He is behind the wild exultant joy we feel sometimes that makes us want to shout out in praise because He started it all.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements–surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?” –Job 38

He is behind those quiet moments when we feel we are part of a much bigger whole, bit players in a magnificent stage that is living breathing thriving and pulsating with lifethat struggles to survive even when it seems there is a slim chance for it.

Once, in the quiet hush of a crisp October twilight I walked alone in the woods. It was the time of evening when day and night meet and greet, and nature draws itself in close. I had a holy visitor, nary a trace of sound he made as he trotted, this lone coyote, then sprang lightly over a log, blowing puffs in the air. I felt like a guest there in his perfect world, inside his poem.

God and I saw it together……and it was good.

Convicted


Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7,8

I was convicted this morning as I drove to work. I said things about two people last night in conversation that I never should have said. Comments flung out as added commentaries to the story that was being told. Words that didn’t portray them in the best light. It’s not that I said anything untrue, or horribly bad. It just that what I said wasn’t neccessary, or edifying.

I once shed tears with both of these people. I still pray for them regularly. But at the moment I said those words, I let God down.

I let myself down…
I let those present down….
And I let the ones I talked about down…..

Forgive me Lord. For not loving with my words.

Forgive me for letting my tongue fly carelessly. Help me to see that harmless little comments aren’t ever harmless, not if it puts others down. Help me to lift You up in my conversations by using words that build up.

Thank you for this reminder. The two people I talked about have many good and wonderful characteristics and it would have been just as easy to say something kind. Next time help me to remember this and do just that. In Your precious name, Amen.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:29,30

Thoughts in the silence

I heard a song lyric that said…..all of creation knows Your name.
It made me want to sit in the silence for awhile, so I did.
To reflect on all that He is, and who He is to me.

On who He is in this world and the world beyond….
So big that it’s hard to wrap my mind around.
Where did He come from?
When did it all start…..it’s too much!
So I retreat back to the quiet corner of my mind.

I don’t have to know all that, I just know that He is.
And that He is totally good, totally just, totally Holy,
and nothing happens beyond His knowledge or control….
My heart tells me, and His Spirit assures me that
He’s with me.
And He will never leave….
He loves me.
I don’t have to be afraid that I will pull the wrong daisy petal and it will land on “He loves me not”
It will always land on “He loves me.”

And all of creation knows His name…….

Blogging Benefits……

There are two ways to live; one as though nothing is a miracle. The other as if everything is. Albert Einstein

Since the day I passed my one year milestone on blogging, I have been meditating on what this whole experience has meant to me, and done for me. I have learned some things about myself. This whole process has taken me by surprise at times, by how much joy it has given me, what a blessing it has been. I get a comment and my heart soars because I know someone understands, someone relates, someone is encouraged. That makes it all worth it. Then there are times of discouragement when I feel my words are falling flat, going nowhere. Why does that affect me so? Should it? I ask myself a zillion questions. I get caught in a self destructive cycle that spins and goes nowhere.

I am awed by so many brilliant, creative talented writers out there, “Real writers,” I call them. I think how much better their words sound than my own. But then God whispers: your words matter too. All of our words are precious to Him. Like your childs first words, perfect no matter how they sound. And when we join our words together, we become one unified voice in praise to Him. All different, all beautiful.

So I draw back, I dip into the Wellspring of His Word, and I am refreshed, inspired, bowled over by God’s love for me. I remember why I do this, I have to share Him.

It is humbling, this process. And that is good for me because it leads me back to Him, back to where I started. Back to knowing that without Him I can do nothing. He is my strength, my song, my hope, and His love never fails. He gathers me in His arms and sings over me with joy and I am renewed again.

So I am celebrating the blessings of blogging today, and want you to know I pray for everyone following this blog, and everyone who may come across it another way. I continue the counting of the gifts today…..#341 He is my shield, #342 my hiding place, #343 my strong tower, #344 my hope, #345 keeper of my dreams, #346 collector of my tears, #347 my strength, #348 my deliverer, #349 my desire, #350 my inheritance, #351 my salvation, #352 my inspiration.

holy experience

I was thinking….


I was thinking about how God must be very hurt, very saddened by the things going on in the world right now. The world was perfect the way He created it, perfectly in balance, perfect in order. I was thinking it must be all but impossible for Him to stay His hand, prevent the cruelty He sees, the whole earth seems to be in travail. How can He restrain Himself? The answer He whispered to my heart……Mercy, child. It is by my great mercy only that my Hand is stayed.

Yes, Lord.

He is not immovable, immpervious as a stone. He has already done all that He can to redeem mankind by plunging Himself right onto the center stage of our drama…..right in the middle of all the much and mire. So that we might live….

Now we all wait…..and He waits too. “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

He is not willing that any should perish……He is giving us time.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev. 21:4
He is waiting for that day even more than we are….Even so, come Lord Jesus.

God’s furious love…..


Are you struggling to forgive yourself today? Maybe for something you did in the past? Some wrong decision? A turning away from God? Something you have given yourself a life sentence for? Maybe your kids are grown and you see the scars they carry, scars you think were inflicted by you. Maybe you think you’ve failed God, blaming yourself for a failed marriage. You think your verdict is just, fair. You heard the hollow echo of the metal doors you slammed on yourself. You threw the key far away, out of reach. After all, you messed up, right? Here is what God laid on my heart the other day in prayer: “When you don’t forgive yourself you are making yourself into the God you think I am, but I am not that God, I have already forgiven you!”

So many times the guilt we feel is totally false. Useless. Destructive.
If the guilt is real, confess it! He will not only forgive you, He will forget you ever did it!

Our God loves us with a relentless love we can scarcely understand. We are so used to living in a performance based world that we think God is that way too. We even make our churches performance driven! The church should be a safe place. A place we can expose our imperfections, our vulnerabilities, our sickness, a place of reconciliation.

“He (God) is not moody or capricious; He know no seasons of change. He has a single relentless stance toward us: He loves us. He is the only God man has ever heard of who loves sinners.” Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

He loves us! Right now where we stand, without us changing one single thing about ourselves. When that love is grasped, really grasped, only then can we begin to live the life He calls us to live. A life that seeks to please Him, obey His commands, not because it scores us any points, but because we want to return the love that He has so mercifully shown us. We won’t reach perfection, but it’s okay. He will still love us, and there is nowhere His love won’t go to reach us.

His love chases us out to the desert wilderness like He followed a distraught Hagar, whispering His great mercy into her desperation. It sends Jonah to the Ninevites, even grows a shelter for him when he gets ticked because the Ninevites repent. His love is Hosea to our unworthy Gomer. Ultimately it went to a lonely hill and there it reaches us. Outside the gates……at Calvary.

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. Col. 2:13-14

The hope of God is eternal

Bridalveil Falls,Yosemite National Park. Being here is like visiting an old friend, having camped there many times over the years.

I found these verses today when I was reflecting on the last two weeks away….so many memories made, so much joy, and also the sorrow of parting, always mingled in. Why must life be so hard for so many? Why must we always have problems, sadness, mixed in with all the goodness? God answered me this way through the prophet Isaiah….

“Yes, my child, right now in this life there is always some sorrow, some disappointment mixed in with all the blessings, but, look now at what I have done! I have pointed to the hope and assurance that there will come a time when all will be restored, as it was meant to be, for I have promised it! And in the meantime, I have poured out My Spirit who gives a comfort that will never leave you. So that in spite of everything, you can have this perfect hope, and have it now.”

“Until the Spirit is poured out upon us from on high, and the wilderness becomes a fertile field, and the fertile field is considered as a forest.

Then justice will dwell in the wilderness and righteousness will abide in the fertile field. And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.

Then my people will live in a peaceful habitation, and in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places; and it will hail when the forest comes down, and the city will be utterly laid low.

How blessed will you be, you who sow beside all waters, who let out freely the ox and the donkey.” Isaiah 32: 15-20

This is the hope of His Word and it never fails! It cuts through everything with a hope that will last beyond this life, and this world. It will never die.

Earthen Vessels

“For we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves.” 2 Corinthians 4:7

“What do you do when you are always comparing yourself with other people? What do you do when you always feel that the people you talk to, hear of, or read about are more intelligent, more skillful, more attractive, more gentle, more generous, more practical, or more contemplative that you are? What do you do when you can’t get away from measuring yourself against others, always feeling that they are the real people while you are a nobody or even less than that?” Henri J. M. Nouwen, Genesee Diary

Sometimes I am surprised to know that successful people who have accomplished what I consider great things have the same feelings I have and I confess, it makes me feel better! Sometimes I feel like I have two selves, one that I concieve in my mind, the way I would like to be and react to people and things, and the real one, the one I actually see living my life. It’s crazy. Sometimes being human makes you feel crazy.

I open my Bible for a sanity check, I need God’s reality not my own. I read: “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12 and then in verse 18, “For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends.”

Our world system is set up to disappoint us. It is a system masterminded by the enemy and will throw us into turmoil every time. There is always another who is smarter, better looking, more talented, one who does everything wrong and still gets rewarded, even one who seems be be more favored by God. But God’s kingdom has knocked Satan’s system off it axis for good. Everytime we try to live by that “old” system we get discouraged.

So today I bring you Good News…..you are a unique individual fashioned by God Himself and you are perfect! Nobody can do the things you do exactly the way you do them! Don’t fight the Potter, praise Him for His excellent workmanship instead! He has given us the honor of placing His precious Holy Spirit in our humble vessel, this humble clay jug, filled with Heaven’s light.

Forgive me, Lord for comparing myself to anyone else!

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

The Bible, fair and balanced….


I read a fictional book recently called Shades of Blue by Karen Kingsbury. The story revolved around two young people haunted by a decision made when they were young, one with dire consequences. Now years down the road, both are trapped by the past and can’t seem to move on. One couldn’t forgive herself and the one who abandoned her in her time of need, and the other refused to accept his responsibility so he buried his secret and hid behind an image he wanted the world to see. As a result they both lost their faith in God because they both blamed Him as well. Isn’t that just like human nature?

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Genesis 3:10

We all have a past, and God knows all about it! “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Romans 8:1

Does that mean we are automatically sinless from that point on? No, we will fail because we still have that old sin nature we fight with, but thankfully, now we have the Holy Spirit who is stronger than that “old nature.” That’s why the Apostle Paul says this: “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:12,13

Note that he said, “work out”, not “work for.” The more I read and study the Bible I am amazed at just how perfectly balanced it is. It resonates with hope! We no longer have to dwell on the past, we can embrace our future with confidence, knowing we are forgiven. When God looks at me, He sees Jesus!

Blessings in disguise


The mourning doves accompanied my prayer time this morning as I crept out early, first cup in hand. Some people might think it irreverent for prayer posture, jostling my cup out there. They might think I should put first things first and wait for my caffeine jolt, but I think He enjoys that I want to share it with Him.

I prayed at the beginning of this sabbatical away from work, this unbelievable blessing I have, 60 days with pay….what other job does that? I prayed that I would be a blessing, that I didn’t want it to be all about me having time off to do whatever I wanted to do. I wanted to lift the time to Him to see what He would do.

Sometimes He gives the opportunity almost as soon as the prayer is breathed into the air. Be careful what you pray for! Dear friend’s Dad went into the hospital so I have been driving her Mom who has Alzheimer’s from our home to the hospital and back to her home. She has been staying here at night since she can’t stay alone.

As is so often the case in this life, things happen that are just not “just.” My friend has never been treated very well by her folks though she has always been the one to care for them. She is a natural caretaker and does what is right regardless. Preferential treatment brother who has caused them nothing but grief and heartache is, as usual, nowhere to be found.

So I was happy to help her bear this tremendous load. She is already taking care of two households so it is the least I can do. Yet I know it pained her to allow me to do it. I guess I will have to let her in on my prayer…..

As Christ-followers we make the choice to pick up our cross each day regardless, knowing He will be our strength. There is humor in every situation, and as my friend and I have discussed many times, Alzheimer’s can sometimes be a blessing, if you can call it that, in disguise. The disease tends to wash away all old hurts and wounds until there is nothing left but the caring. The looking after from day to day, much like caring for a small child.

I can’t imagine what must go on in her mind. Her Mom, once an excellent nurse who passed out meds everyday, now can’t remember to take her own. Once meticulous about her appearance, she forgets to shower for days at a time, her once perfectly coiffed hair is now disheveled, though to her credit she laughs when she looks in the mirror and realizes she needs to do something with it. It is hard to watch such a metamorphosis, heartbreaking really. Hard to watch when eyes go blank and she says she understands and you know she doesn’t.

I see the pain in friends eyes. It’s always harder when they are your parents, I think. Emotionally anyway. But today I am asking God to help me see her Mom as a young girl with hopes and dreams. She made one very important decision in her life and that was to have my friend when everyone advised her to have an abortion, since she had cancer when she was pregnant. I think of how many lives would not have been blessed, saved really if she had not been born.

“Thank you God, for helping me to serve in this small way. You know I am one who clings to my own free time. You know everything about me and still love me patiently step by step. Help me to learn the lessons you want me to learn. I love You for loving them too God, and for allowing us to keep our sense of humor in trying times and help me see others with Your eyes. In Jesus name, Amen”

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-12