The Moving Box


I put it out by the curb, this perfectly good moving box. I tried to throw it away but I couldn’t. I took about two steps away from it and then turned and retrieved it and put it back on the shelf. If I had left it out on the curb, that would have meant I was totally committed to six more years here until my retirement. This way, I have a small hope that it will happen sooner.

Sometimes we hold onto something small because it represents something bigger.

The box represents a dream. Of moving back to my hometown. A place of permanence. No more moving. Of spending some good years with my folks before they pass on….of building a relationship with my 7 year old niece, of being a real Auntie instead of a bit player in her life. Of buying a little home with a shelf for African violets, and maybe a garden.

Around the time I thought maybe I heard the call to go back, my home was sold at an unbelievable price, right before the bottom dropped out. God sold that home, not the realtor. Then things happened that made thinking of a move more difficult. The economy took a dive. California, my home state, is now in financial ruin. Everyday I hear the reports of friends there who have lost their jobs. And my job is secure, I have great benefits.

When I started with this company I never dreamed that God would place me in the job I have now. He literally placed me here, of that I have no doubt. I have no college degree, and yet He has given me success here for fourteen years!

Even so, for about 7 years now I have felt like one of the virgins with the lamp stand, ready for the knock at the door. I thought I heard the Bridegroom coming, several times. Maybe I did, and maybe I ignored Him. I get these thoughts:
But if he got me this job, couldn’t He get me another? Is my faith too weak? Is my God too small? Has my job become my god? All these questions run around in my head and I know God is tired of them, I know I am.

I wonder, did I miss the window of opportunity? Did I get the timing wrong? Did I not recognize His voice? Does that mean that He has balled up the master plan and thrown it into the throne fire? No more chances for me? Or is there a possibility that this is all part of the plan itself and I am right where He wants me to be for now? Are you tired, because I sure am.

Softly His voice speaks to my heart, “As I was with the Israelites in the desert so am I with you. I led them with my Presence as I will continue to lead you. I love you with an everlasting love that will never cease and nothing will ever change that.”

Maybe you feel like you missed a window of opportunity. Maybe it was a big one. God was not surprised by that. He is an expert at creating new windows.

“To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:1-3

God cares about our dreams, and longs to give us the desires of our heart. Right now the desire of my heart, even more than my dream is Him. His ways, His path is what matters most. It is the only sure place to step. So I will keep walking, keep lighting the lamp of His word. Keep praying. He has given me tremendous peace at times when I least expected it. And He will do the same for you.

Was there ever a time when you feel like you missed His plan? Did He work it out for good anyway?

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

The best reason to praise

Image by flickr
It happens to me at least once a day, especially this time of year with our Arizona monsoons……I am driving or walking and I see something in nature that makes me stop everything for just a moment and breathe a prayer of praise.

It’s a natural and spontaneous reaction that happens when you know that there is a God who is behind it all, and that even nature itself cannot help praising God. When I lift my hands or say, “Thank you God,” for a beautiful sunrise I am simply echoing what all of creation is already doing; praising our Creator for continuing to extend His mercy for one more day. Another day to hope, to believe in Him, to thank Him for His marvelous works and for our redemption.

One of the best reasons I can think of to praise God is because Satan absolutely hates it when we do. It’s like throwing cold water on the wicked witch of the west. He simply can’t succeed in anything he does when we are praising God.

The Bible has much to say about praise and not once does it say to praise Him only when things are going well. It just says to praise Him because He is worthy!
“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 59:16

When Satan came before God’s throne in order to stir up trouble for Job, I believe he thought his victory was a shoe-in and that Job would surely cave in to despair and give up on God. But Job knew that whatever he was going through, it didn’t change who God was. He knew that in spite of everything, that God still loved Him; that for God to allow such grief there had to be a very good reason for it.

Absolute trust.

If you are despairing today, God has not left you. He has promised to be with you and see you through…

Another reason to praise is that we will be doing it throughout eternity, so we might as well practise now!

Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!” Revelation 5:13

Can you picture even the animals bowing their heads or lifting their paws in praise to their Creator? It could happen! How cool would that be?

Can you think of a time when it was very difficult to praise God and you did it anyway?

Tuning in to what’s real


“Here and there among men, there are those who pause in the hurried rush to listen to the call of a life that is more real. How often have we seen them, David, jostled and ridiculed by their fellows, pushed aside and forgotten. He who sees and hears too much is cursed for a dreamer, a fanatic, or a fool by the mad mob who, having eyes, see not, ears and hear not, and refuse to understand.

Only when we can no longer strive in the battle for earthly honors or material wealth do we turn to the unseen and more enduring things of life and hear and see the things we have so long refused to consider.” The Shepherd of the Hills, Harold Bell Wright.

I recently found a little treasure of a book published in 1907 about a worldly traveler who longs to escape his sophisticated city life and retreats to the Ozarks where he meets some people who teach him how to truly live. Leaving behind a successful church in the city, he ends up finding his faith and God in the mountains.

While there he meets Pete, the child who claims to speak with God, who wanders at night under the stars and hears the voices that whisper in the wind. When I look at this picture I can just see little Pete standing there in the sun. We can all learn something from the Petes of this world.

I talk to God all the time and though I have never yet heard an audible voice, I know He answers. The main way He answers me is though His word, but He uses other creative ways as well. I think I am going to listen to the wind more, and tune in to the song of the stars that sing. I am going to try to be more like Pete and tune into the Eternal world where God lives. I might be surprised what I hear!

“When I think of the wisdom and scope of God’s plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is.” Ephesians 3:14-18

Surprised by joy


Here I am Lord and I’m drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

Jesus can you show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other. “East to West”, Mercy Me

This morning my prayer room felt empty. I lit my candle anyway as an offering of faith. It was mustard seed small. I prayed, wondering what I did wrong that I didn’t feel Him there, to make Him turn away. I waited in the silence. So intent on myself and my feelings I forgot to leave room for the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes I think God hides Himself a bit just to see what we will do.

I think sometimes He plays hide and seek in order to encourage us to flex our faith muscles and pray anyway. I waited…..I praised some more, I read the Psalms. I sang…..He surprised me with His joy leaping up like John in Elizabeth’s womb. What mercy. What did I do to deserve this lavish grace?Absolutely nothing.

Then I think, why me? What about the one who prays for days, weeks, months, and never seems to get any confirmation that God is listening? That is dangerous thinking. It is all too tempting to think I did something to get this reaction. I do this, He does that. Like a formula. But God doesn’t work in formulas, and he certainly doesn’t wait around until I hit the right combination of steps in order to reveal Himself. He reveals Himself in His own time, and His timing is always perfect.

He does it because of His great love and grace. Because He loves giving gifts to His children. It pleases Him to do these things. There is nothing I could do that would make God do anything. Or not do something. But here is a very important reason why God reveals Himself in our lives…..so we can encourage and build each other up!

The Bible assures us that He will answer in due time. I entered my prayer closet empty and came out filled….
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him.” Matthew 7:7-11

Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt God was hiding His presence?

Rejoicing today in His eagerness to give good gifts: #393 peace in turbulence, #394 perseverance in difficulty, #395 assurance of Scripture, #396 confirmation that He hears, #397 unexpected joy, #398 laughter when all else fails, #399 dear ones to pray with, #400 His strength in my weakness.

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Merciful proof….

Photo from google

“It is only the infinite mercy and love of God that has prevented us from tearing ourselves to pieces and destroying His entire creation long ago. People seem to think that it is in some way a proof that no merciful God exists, if we have so many wars. On the contrary, consider how in spite of centuries of sin and greed and lust and cruelty and hatred and avarice and oppression and injustice, spawned and bred by the free wills of men, the human race can still recover, each time, and can still produce man and women who overcome evil with good, hatred with love, greed with charity, lust and cruelty with sanctity. How could all this be possible without the merciful love of God, pouring out His grace upon us? Can there be any doubt where wars come from and where peace comes from, when the children of this world, excluding God from their peace conferences, only manage to bring about greater and greater wars the more they talk about peace?”
— Thomas Merton (The Seven Storey Mountain)

There is so much that is good in the world, each day we wake to the possibility of witnessing a miracle, if we could only see it as such. What is it about a spectacular sunrise that gives us hope, makes us believe that it is very worth getting up and doing it all again?

There is a Spirit that lives and breathes, that once moved across the waters of the unformed earth, whose breath continues to fill everything in the universe, who moves in us today.

He is behind it all….behind each new blossom, every drop of rain that falls to the ground. He is behind the wild exultant joy we feel sometimes that makes us want to shout out in praise because He started it all.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements–surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?” –Job 38

He is behind those quiet moments when we feel we are part of a much bigger whole, bit players in a magnificent stage that is living breathing thriving and pulsating with lifethat struggles to survive even when it seems there is a slim chance for it.

Once, in the quiet hush of a crisp October twilight I walked alone in the woods. It was the time of evening when day and night meet and greet, and nature draws itself in close. I had a holy visitor, nary a trace of sound he made as he trotted, this lone coyote, then sprang lightly over a log, blowing puffs in the air. I felt like a guest there in his perfect world, inside his poem.

God and I saw it together……and it was good.

Convicted


Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7,8

I was convicted this morning as I drove to work. I said things about two people last night in conversation that I never should have said. Comments flung out as added commentaries to the story that was being told. Words that didn’t portray them in the best light. It’s not that I said anything untrue, or horribly bad. It just that what I said wasn’t neccessary, or edifying.

I once shed tears with both of these people. I still pray for them regularly. But at the moment I said those words, I let God down.

I let myself down…
I let those present down….
And I let the ones I talked about down…..

Forgive me Lord. For not loving with my words.

Forgive me for letting my tongue fly carelessly. Help me to see that harmless little comments aren’t ever harmless, not if it puts others down. Help me to lift You up in my conversations by using words that build up.

Thank you for this reminder. The two people I talked about have many good and wonderful characteristics and it would have been just as easy to say something kind. Next time help me to remember this and do just that. In Your precious name, Amen.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:29,30

Thoughts in the silence

I heard a song lyric that said…..all of creation knows Your name.
It made me want to sit in the silence for awhile, so I did.
To reflect on all that He is, and who He is to me.

On who He is in this world and the world beyond….
So big that it’s hard to wrap my mind around.
Where did He come from?
When did it all start…..it’s too much!
So I retreat back to the quiet corner of my mind.

I don’t have to know all that, I just know that He is.
And that He is totally good, totally just, totally Holy,
and nothing happens beyond His knowledge or control….
My heart tells me, and His Spirit assures me that
He’s with me.
And He will never leave….
He loves me.
I don’t have to be afraid that I will pull the wrong daisy petal and it will land on “He loves me not”
It will always land on “He loves me.”

And all of creation knows His name…….

Blogging Benefits……

There are two ways to live; one as though nothing is a miracle. The other as if everything is. Albert Einstein

Since the day I passed my one year milestone on blogging, I have been meditating on what this whole experience has meant to me, and done for me. I have learned some things about myself. This whole process has taken me by surprise at times, by how much joy it has given me, what a blessing it has been. I get a comment and my heart soars because I know someone understands, someone relates, someone is encouraged. That makes it all worth it. Then there are times of discouragement when I feel my words are falling flat, going nowhere. Why does that affect me so? Should it? I ask myself a zillion questions. I get caught in a self destructive cycle that spins and goes nowhere.

I am awed by so many brilliant, creative talented writers out there, “Real writers,” I call them. I think how much better their words sound than my own. But then God whispers: your words matter too. All of our words are precious to Him. Like your childs first words, perfect no matter how they sound. And when we join our words together, we become one unified voice in praise to Him. All different, all beautiful.

So I draw back, I dip into the Wellspring of His Word, and I am refreshed, inspired, bowled over by God’s love for me. I remember why I do this, I have to share Him.

It is humbling, this process. And that is good for me because it leads me back to Him, back to where I started. Back to knowing that without Him I can do nothing. He is my strength, my song, my hope, and His love never fails. He gathers me in His arms and sings over me with joy and I am renewed again.

So I am celebrating the blessings of blogging today, and want you to know I pray for everyone following this blog, and everyone who may come across it another way. I continue the counting of the gifts today…..#341 He is my shield, #342 my hiding place, #343 my strong tower, #344 my hope, #345 keeper of my dreams, #346 collector of my tears, #347 my strength, #348 my deliverer, #349 my desire, #350 my inheritance, #351 my salvation, #352 my inspiration.

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I was thinking….


I was thinking about how God must be very hurt, very saddened by the things going on in the world right now. The world was perfect the way He created it, perfectly in balance, perfect in order. I was thinking it must be all but impossible for Him to stay His hand, prevent the cruelty He sees, the whole earth seems to be in travail. How can He restrain Himself? The answer He whispered to my heart……Mercy, child. It is by my great mercy only that my Hand is stayed.

Yes, Lord.

He is not immovable, immpervious as a stone. He has already done all that He can to redeem mankind by plunging Himself right onto the center stage of our drama…..right in the middle of all the much and mire. So that we might live….

Now we all wait…..and He waits too. “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

He is not willing that any should perish……He is giving us time.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev. 21:4
He is waiting for that day even more than we are….Even so, come Lord Jesus.

God’s furious love…..


Are you struggling to forgive yourself today? Maybe for something you did in the past? Some wrong decision? A turning away from God? Something you have given yourself a life sentence for? Maybe your kids are grown and you see the scars they carry, scars you think were inflicted by you. Maybe you think you’ve failed God, blaming yourself for a failed marriage. You think your verdict is just, fair. You heard the hollow echo of the metal doors you slammed on yourself. You threw the key far away, out of reach. After all, you messed up, right? Here is what God laid on my heart the other day in prayer: “When you don’t forgive yourself you are making yourself into the God you think I am, but I am not that God, I have already forgiven you!”

So many times the guilt we feel is totally false. Useless. Destructive.
If the guilt is real, confess it! He will not only forgive you, He will forget you ever did it!

Our God loves us with a relentless love we can scarcely understand. We are so used to living in a performance based world that we think God is that way too. We even make our churches performance driven! The church should be a safe place. A place we can expose our imperfections, our vulnerabilities, our sickness, a place of reconciliation.

“He (God) is not moody or capricious; He know no seasons of change. He has a single relentless stance toward us: He loves us. He is the only God man has ever heard of who loves sinners.” Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

He loves us! Right now where we stand, without us changing one single thing about ourselves. When that love is grasped, really grasped, only then can we begin to live the life He calls us to live. A life that seeks to please Him, obey His commands, not because it scores us any points, but because we want to return the love that He has so mercifully shown us. We won’t reach perfection, but it’s okay. He will still love us, and there is nowhere His love won’t go to reach us.

His love chases us out to the desert wilderness like He followed a distraught Hagar, whispering His great mercy into her desperation. It sends Jonah to the Ninevites, even grows a shelter for him when he gets ticked because the Ninevites repent. His love is Hosea to our unworthy Gomer. Ultimately it went to a lonely hill and there it reaches us. Outside the gates……at Calvary.

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. Col. 2:13-14