God

Day is done…….

 IMG_4465

It’s growing late….earlier I watched stars shyly make their sequined appearance one by one in the cobalt sky. Humans and animals alike have settled into deep breathing for the rhythm of the night has caught us all. The house creaks, and the events of the day flutter, collect, and float down and gather at my feet coming to greet me again here in my quiet chair. I smile, for it was a good day. Soon all the lights will go out for me and I will say a prayer and talk to God unless I fall asleep first. Later, in the deep dark when it’s morning but not quite morning, worry will come to find me. But I am ready for it. I have the 23rd Psalm.

Times like these I reach for Merton’s hours. So now I look for Monday and it’s here:

Let us live in this love and this happiness, you and I and all of us, in the love of Christ and in contemplation, for this is where we find ourselves and one another as we truly are. It is only in this love that we at last become real. For it is here that we most truly share the life of One God in three Persons.

Thomas Merton, A Book of Hours.

Usually, you just don’t need that many words……..I am finding that out. The more I write, the more I realize that to be a good writer, you need to be an even better editor.

(Re)acknowleging my Desperation

Today, Lord I acknowledge my desperate state before you. Anything less means I am walking around in a state of delusion. When things are going well, it is so easy for me to think I have things under control. That I don’t need you quite as bad as when circumstances are:
unpleasant, painful, spiraling out of control………….But the truth is, I need you just as much and in just the same measure every single day.
Sometimes I act like a person holding up a golf club in the middle of a lightning storm. I flirt with the world, I skate on the edge, I get too close to swinging the doors wide open that should remain closed.
And I shouldn’t. Forgive me, precious Lord. Thank you for remembering my dust. Help me to never take advantage of your good grace. I acknowledge again that though you are completely Holy, you are not waiting up there to strike me down when I fail, but waiting with an arms open kind of love.
And forgive me for asking you once again to deliver me from things you have already set me free from. Sometimes I have amnesia. You are infinite Love. I remember again and again the great length you went to save me.
All the way from Heaven to earth.
Goin back to the foot of the cross today.

The enjoyment of being found…..

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; Philippians 3:8,9

I found you! I said as I chased her around the tree and she shrieked for joy……I was playing with my niece when I was back home last. Her new game is hide and seek and she loves being found! She hasn’t quite gotten the hang of tag yet. When she talks on the phone, she walks around the house and thinks I can see what she’s holding up, maybe that’s because she Skypes with her Mommy and sissy……And she doesn’t like saying goodbye……we have that in common. She comes with the joy that is unique to special needs kids.

She is like anyone else, she loves being found, and belonging to someone. Isn’t that what we all want after all? We want to feel that feeling of seeing the one we love winding their way through a crowd to meet us, just us. And then the scrape of the chair when they pull it next to you…..they are there, you are no longer alone, someone has claimed you. They know things about you that no one else does….

Sometimes we even seek to be claimed by those who really don’t have our best interests at heart, but their own.

When Jesus claims us, we can be sure that He has our best interests at heart always. And He will never lead us down a path of destruction, but life, and peace. And because of our relationship with Him, we are also claimed by the Father and the Spirit!

Jesus endured that long, lonely 40 days of temptation in the desert so that we will never have to be without Him again….and those of us who live in the desert know just how bleak it can be, especially in the summer…….He endured the cross so that we can say with the unbridled joy of a child peeking out from behind a tree…..”You found me!”

He rose from that awful death so that one evening not so far in the distant future, in a another place, we will be walking in the cool of the evening in a place we can can only dimly imagine, and He will be there to meet us and say, “There you are, I have been looking for you, just you.”

And that time, we won’t be hiding behind fig leaves……..

Buggy thoughts……

I saw it as I wiped the cleaning rag over my bathroom counter. It was so small I almost thought it was a microscopic particle of dirt or something else, until it moved. Something made me look closer. It was so very, very small. How very large my counter top must look, as big as a whole world! I wondered how it even knew where it was going, for it certainly seemed to have a destination. There was something about the way it was just there. Any other day I may have just scrunched it up in a towel, because, after all…..it was so very small.

It moved me, watching that little bug. I could have smashed it without a second thought….sent it to a watery grave, and yet it didn’t know that. That’s what got to me, I guess. How many people are walking around just like that little bug, clueless that the God who created them has the power to stop their breath in an instant. And His great mercy keeps them going, because He loves them so much.

Loves all of us so much.

It humbled me, thinking of that little bug. So unaware of my bigness and its smallness….So unaware of what I could do. What I might have done another day. I think it was that thought alone that made me take it outside to a safe place. It was just too small to survive indoors. This morning, something in me needed to save it. At first it balked at my efforts to help it, it didn’t know what I wanted to do. I coaxed it onto a tissue and carried it outside and set it tenderly at the base of a shady plant.

Safe for one more day.

Finding God in the Landscape

Man’s heart away from nature becomes hard. ~Standing Bear
“Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds…..” Psalm 148:7-10
Last evening I went for a walk, I just had to get out…..see a bit of the mountain silhouette against the sky. The Lord originally placed us in a garden, I believe we were meant to gaze on vistas, sit beside still waters. I think when we forget our place in the landscape we go a little bit crazy. We wonder why we get so angry at little things, like when something gets stuck on a clothes hanger and we break the hanger trying to remove it.
That is always a clue to me that I need to go out and get back in touch with a bit of nature……remember my place in it, remember how big God is and how constant. I just get a bit lost sometimes. It strikes me again that the life that most of us are living is unnatural, I really don’t think we were meant for all this chaos.
Our world today is filled with noise, movement, activity and stress. Sometimes it just all sneaks up on us,  
like it snuck up on me last night. I saw the cars whizzing by the freeway between the houses, but beyond that was the mountain……
Nature is the compass that God uses to set me right. Sometimes it doesn’t even take a very big dose. I think when we forget to notice nature, we forget to notice God.

photos from public domain pictures

On missing prayer time…..

“Oh Lord how I have missed this time with You. I was doing other things for awhile, important and necessary things, but I have missed this coming before Your throne of Grace….this time of morning quiet. I have had snatches here and there, but it’s not the same.
I know that I can pray anywhere, at any time, but this place is special, Holy…..it is my own little hollow, a little carved out place we have made together. When we come together again, its like we were never apart; a bit like an seeing an old friend, but much better. I settle into Your rhythm of eternity and timelessness, and once again I feel small next to You, and the world gets smaller too.
I back away, realign myself to You…..Your Holiness, Your timeless Grace. I listen and hear You in the quiet. I listen and repeat what You hear day in, day out……”Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is, and is to come.”
One Holy praise for each, Father, Son, Holy Spirit
I reflect once again on Your coming. What it meant then and what it still means today. I can only bow in humble adoration as a simple shepherd did years ago by lamplight in a stable.

“My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.” Psalm 131

Right after I wrote this prayer in my journal, I opened the Bible to the above passage……

A Father’s Love

Photo by Google images
How blessed I am to have felt the touch of a loving father’s hands growing up. They were working hands, strong. Made that way by many hours of county road work, but always soft and gentle with me. I can still remember the way he would tuck covers in around me, or lift me high above his shoulders and then act like he was falling. I was safe in the security of his love and protection and I knew he would always be there just when I needed him.

But others have much different memories of fathers, ones you would just as soon forget. Or maybe you have no memory at all, just a gaping hole where he should have been. Knowing that it was all on you, no father there to set things right or be your safety net.

For all of you I bring you the Father’s love today……for we have a loving father who steps in to be your Dad…..”A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:5

Maybe you never felt like you were wanted, but know this today, Your Father in Heaven did want you. He wanted you because you are here, breathing life right now. He is longing to wrap His loving arms around you and fill all those empty places in your soul where a Dad should have been.

He can bind up every wound, heal every hurtful memory. He can be all you never had right now.

I pray that Father’s Day be something different this year, a time for embracing the Father’s love, letting go of what could have been, and letting God fill you with everything He longs to give you.

2 Corinthians 6:18 “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

Open to wonder….


“We get so preoccupied with ourselves, the words we speak, the plans and projects we conceive that we become immune to the glory of creation. We barely notice the cloud passing over the moon or the dewdrops clinging to the rose leaves. The ice on the pond comes and goes. the wild blackberries ripen and wither. The blackbird nests outside our bedroom window. We don’t see her. We avoid the cold and the heat. We refrigerate ourselves in the summer and entomb ourselves in plastic in winter. We rake up ever leaf as fast as it falls. We are so accustomed to buying prepackaged meats and fish that we never think and blink about the bounty of God’s creation. We grow complacent and lead practical lives. We miss the experience of awe, reverence, and wonder.” Brennan Manning, Ragamuffin Gospel

Lord, may I never lose my sense of wonder in the midst of this fast-paced world of endless information, knowledge gathering, and few real answers. All the answers mean nothing unless they point the way to You. The answer to the question is always, You.

“….always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.” 2 Timothy 3:7

Elohim our creator

More highlights of the last two weeks….
Yosemite Falls, 2,425 feet 5th tallest in the world. I hiked this when I was younger. Most memorable moment of hike was when the hat that I had just bought blew off and my heroic Dad was about to reach under the guard-rail and get it, when God stepped in and blew it down the falls!
Psalm 24:1‑2
The earth is the LORD’s and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters.
Half Dome, my old friend. Hiked to the top when I was 14, 16 miles round trip, with an elevation gain/loss of 5,131 feet, elevation at the top is over 8,000 feet. The last part is reached only by steel cables….believe me, you need both hands!
Psalm 104: 24,30
How many are your works, O Lord, In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures…. When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth.
Houses bordering Yosemite meadow. Many years we have walked by these little houses facing the most beautiful view in the world and thought, who could be blessed enough to live here? This year we were treated to this particular flowering tree we have not yet been able to identify…..
Psalm 96: 12
Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy; they will sing before the LORD, for he comes, he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in his truth.
The mighty Merced River, view from our balcony at Yosemite View Lodge. My folks and my brother generously treated us all to the 2 bedroom suite, what a wonderful gift! The first night, I thought the furnace was running so I got up to check, but it was the noise of the river, even with windows closed you could hear it!
Romans 1:20
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities‑his eternal power and divine nature‑have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

Yosemite is one of those places that is grafted into my soul, having spent so much time there growing up. I encourage you to go if you haven’t been….it is one of those places that you really must see for yourself. To hear the Stellar’s jay call, the sigh of the pines, their tops bending to the wind, the echo of tent pegs being pounded in as camp is set up, all against the backdrop of those wondrous vertical granite cliffs rising straight up off the valley floor….An experience like no other. Thank you for coming along on my journey!

How Big is Your God?


Even now, I can hear my former Pastor Gary Kinnamon’s voice ask the question, “How Big is Your God?” I had heard many messages before on that subject, but for some reason, he brought it home in such a way that I never forgot it.

Being human, I still let circumstances overwhelm me, threaten to make me forget that God is bigger than anything I can ever face, but I never really forget it for long. My prayer is that you will let this one thing sink in today. I have seen God move in ways and situations that I thought were immovable, and I am sure you have too.

He is bigger than:

Any addiction
Any broken relationship
Any illness
Any lost dream
Any circumstance life can throw at us….anything!
“Then the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah: “I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:26,27
He is with you now, ready. Waiting in the wings to come to your aid….just ask. He may not eliminate the “problem” although sometimes He does, He will be with you in the midst of whatever it is you’re facing. We have that assurance in His Word! We can rest in that. “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life….” and “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-”
Psalm 138:7,8