Family

On leaving 2010 behind……

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

You know those Cd’s you can buy with highlights only? I have one with Phantom of the Opera. It’s what you buy when you don’t want to hear everything in between the parts you really like. It isn’t really fair because you are getting a cut and paste version of what was supposed to be a full story. Looking back over the past year is a bit like buying one of those cut and paste versions. Highlights rise to the surface, things I want to remember so I pause and turn them over again in my mind….they are important and I don’t want to forget.
I know the old year is gone and the new one has rushed in to take its place, very fast I might add……but still I find myself wanting to pause for just a moment, still caught a bit in the afterglow of last year. So I share these treasures with you as I hold them dear, I clasp them to my heart and commit them to memory. I write some down so they will be kept safe, though I know they are etched into my heart forever and have already become part of the fabric of my soul.
Catching the dogwood in full bloom in Yosemite……a nature poetry book given to me by my brother with the inscription, “I love you more than you know….”with another note beside his favorite quotation……

Praying with my Dad in the dark of a very early morning…. Hearing my Mom say to me….”That reminds me of a day with you….” After listening to the song A Perfect Day….Cold walks in the park in the evening with my Dad watching my niece hang upside down on the bars….

My wonderful and amazing friend who made my “prayer closet” like home with laminate floors she toiled and installed herself……Helping my Mom get her decorations out for Christmas one more time….surprising my Mom and Dad with a sign on the downtown marquee celebrating their 60th Anniversary.

A full five minute conversation with my very excited niece of 8, words and phrases all jumbled together, but I heard the love loud and clear and I couldn’t stop smiling because I have hoped and prayed for it for so long….I still hear it even now.
Conversations and good times with neighbors who have become friends…….a restored special friendship I thought lost.

Evenings by the fire and learning the hard way that you can’t re-light fake logs without creating much black smoke! Being caught in the rain on first evening in Monterey during sabbatical and running into a cozy pub for a bite knowing I had two months off work ahead of me….with pay….oh the joy, where did the time go?
Well, there are a few of them….I am grateful to God for each and every one of these moments, knowing that He holds them all together and binds us all together in love. I can’t imagine experiencing even one of them without Him in my life……Now make your own list, and see if you don’t smile in the remembering…..

Oh it’s such a perfect day,
I’m glad I spent it with you.
Oh such a perfect day,
You just keep me hanging on….Lou Reed
May your own 2011 be filled with many of those perfect days and God’s comfort and strength when they aren’t……I treasure each and every one of you my blogging friends and readers.
photo from my iphone, Pacific Coast Highway 1

Advice on Marriage from a Single

I realize I am stepping out on a precarious limb today. You may ask, can a person who has lived most of their life single offer advice on marriage? Well, the Apostle Paul was unmarried and he had much to say about it. His advice came straight from God. The Bible is clear on what marriage should be: A beautiful picture of Christ and the Church. So how come the divorce rate is much the same in the church as outside the church? This statistic is very troubling and I wonder how that can be? I think it is because as the church has moved away from teaching directly from the Bible, marriage has suffered the conquences. That and the fact that nobody wants to yield anymore, we all want our rights. Even in the church, we don’t want anyone telling us what to do, and then there are all the outside influences that wreak havoc on relationships. Throw in blended families and the difficulties increase……

Marriage is extremely difficult, that much is clear, even Paul says:  “But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” But marriage done God’s way is a beautiful picture of Christ and the Church.

There is so much focus on what people do wrong in marriage, here are some things I have observed from very strong marriages that are wonderful examples of things done right: (*note I said strong marriages, not perfect marriages!)

Go into it for life, and never threaten divorce. It would be even better in my opinion if divorce were not a topic at all, why go into something already defeated! (My folks have been married 60 years and it was never an option for them.) 

Be able to apologize and not just say “If I did something wrong” but “Will you forgive me?” This I learned from a Bill Gothard seminar years ago.

Be best friends first, be able to talk to each other. Your husband or wife should be the first person you want to share something with. Passion is great, but it will not last forever. Sooner or later you have to talk.

A sense of humor is a must. Find at least one thing you can laugh about together every day.

Be aware of your differences. Yes, despite what our culture says, there are distinct differences between men and women as well as personality differences!

Kindness, kindness, kindness. A soft answer turns away wrath as the Bible says…….Treat your mate as respectful as you treat your boss, your co-worker, your friends. Sometimes I listen to how married couples talk to each other and I think, no wonder the divorce rate is so high. They bark orders and throw sarcastic barbs back and forth like they are participating in verbal jousting matches. To some people this is normal, but it is a destructive way to live, especially with children in the house.

Stay individuals….don’t turn into the same person. Don’t depend on that person for your well-being or happiness. Be happy by yourself first!

The best advice of all is taken from the book of Ephesians………..Reverence for one another as you revere Christ.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

More thoughts on submitting tomorrow…..

Something Worth Singing About

The best way to honor someone’s legacy is to pass it on……. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 15:12

One of the most valuable things I learned, and am still learning from my parents is that no matter what life throws at you, you just keep going, press on, never sink into defeat. You tighten the straps of your backpack and hit the trail again.You can despair for a time, but ultimately you get up and start doing what has to be done, keep the rhythm of life going. For as long as I can remember, my Mom has started the day singing. She does it a bit less now…..her days are long and she has many aches and pains, but she still gets up before everyone else. She presses on. She has always found something worth singing about. She knows the song of redemption.

Love is showing through demonstration that there is always a reason to sing because life is a gift. 

I was raised with music, singing. I was raised with people who believed that there was always something worth singing about. My Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, all of us gathered around while somebody played the piano or organ…..I can still hear their voices even now all these years later, my Grandmother’s warbly soprano, my Aunt’s alto harmonies, the plink-plink of my Uncle Bill’s banjo. What wonderful memories those are, they weaved themselves into the fabric of my very being, they are part of who I am today.

There is something about singing that lifts the spirit when nothing else can. There is power in song. This is part of our very DNA set there by our Creator. He first put the song in our hearts and He sang the stars into existence! Ever notice that kids find it very easy to sing? It just comes naturally. But life can really stifle that song right out of you at times…..you don’t have to let it. Heaven is filled with music we can scarely imagine, and when we sing in spite of how bad things may get down here, we bring part of Heaven down on earth. Turn that old music master Satan’s instrument against him!

I think of the Slaves, singing out through the depths and horrors of bondage, of death all around them. I think of soldiers singing as they march into battle……I think of Paul and Silas’ song in prison and Jesus and His disciples singing a hymn before they went out into the black night of sorrow. They were all thinking of the joy set before them as Jesus was……Freedom, peace, deliverance, Heaven…….

This morning I remembered all those songs. They made me sad for times past, but also encouraged me to pick up the song and sing with them. As I was pouring my coffee, The Holy Spirit breathed a little song into my heart that I had completely forgotten about and I found myself singing it on the way to work, though I had a hard time remembering the melody for the first few bars…….The lyrics say……”You are the reason I sing, You who taught all bells of Heaven to ring, I had no song just drifted along, but now You’re the reason I sing……”

Yes, that redemption song. That’s the best way to honor all who have gone before, and those still with me, I choose to keep singing the song of hope and never stop.

Just Believe……

You have everything you need, if you just believe…… “Believe,” from Polar Express
I have never watched Polar Express all the way through until last night. I stayed up longer than I should have just to see the little boy find the bell. I think I watched it partly for my Dad since he has confessed that this is his favorite movie. Even at 82, when he watches it you can see the glimmer of childhood innocence in his eyes. He told me last time I was home that, “I am that boy in the movie……” Dad’s was a childhood of lost and broken dreams with both parents alcoholics. He says that every Christmas started out great and ended up with both parents in a screaming match. He says every year he hoped that it would be different but it never was.
This leaves a permanent scar on a soul; and to his credit, he made our childhood everything his wasn’t. Our Christmases were filled with magic and promise. He made sure that we had all the security he never had. There were two promises he made to us and to himself. There would never be shouting in our home and there wasn’t, and that we would never see him drunk and we never did.  I have wonderful memories of my childhood because of choices my Dad and my Mom made. 
We can choose to build and repair what is broken or leave it behind us and create a new mess. We can also create something good and watch beauty emerge from a pile of rubble. We can also choose to open the windows and let the bad out, and keep it out. God never expects us to hitch our wagon  to someone else’s negativity and darkness and go over the cliff with them.
As I watched last night, through my Dad’s eyes, I imagined some things about how it must have been for him when Grandpa took off when he was five. How scared he probably was. I was remembering how good it was for me as a child. I thought of an ocean of children out there waiting for the Polar Express to show up for them, the adults who were still waiting. As I watched, I rooted for that little boy.
There is something in a child that God loves. Jesus said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3

God longs to take the lost little child within you into His arms and give you back everything that was stolen from you as a child. He longs to restore you……Even those of us with happy childhoods long to go back to that time when things seemed so simple, when belief was easy and everything was within the realm of possibility.

My Dad’s Mom died young as a result of her drinking, but my Grandfather got married again and quit drinking. He was a part of my life when I was a kid. My Dad had to make another choice to let him back into his life. He saw the benefit of that, and we had some good times together. Sometimes burned bridges can be rebuilt to a certain extent. My Dad and he were never really close, but Grandpa in his later years was a kind man, and he loved us. He took my brother and I to the Elks Lodge every Christmas. I remember the one year I really thought I heard Santa’s Sleigh outside the building.

There is a whole army of people out there that have been brave enough to make something good out of the wreckage of their past. To create wonder for someone else, and magic out of mayhem. To believe that Love is the most powerful thing of all….I was remembering as I slipped into slumber last night. Remembering my own time of magic, when I used to sit by the Christmas tree at night all by myself, lost in wonder.
In the remembering, I felt a tear make its way down the corner of my eye…….
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Notes from a small town……

Downtown Lodi Arch
There is something reassuring about community, I am reminded of this every day and especially when I go back to my hometown. Like a small town newspaper column or letters from home we dream of places where we know the people we do business with. Places we can stop in and get a cup of coffee and they will say, “Don’t worry about it, it’s on the house.” You may think these kinds of places are a thing of the past, but I assure you they are not.
In my hometown, things have changed most definitely, but some things have stayed the same……the train whistles blow through town almost every hour or more. I grew up with them and they make me feel nostalgic and comforted at the same time. In a farming community, trains are part of life……they never stop chugging their bounty from the fields and vineyards to places far away….
In local news,  the annual Christmas Parade of lights had 89 entries this year. When we took my niece to the park the day before the event I noticed that people had already marked out their territory with chairs and signs to get premo seats.
 
It was a cold but beautiful evening that night, the sunset was all pinks and violets and the Christmas lights in people’s houses started to blink on. The downtown lamps came on as well at 5 o’clock, ushering in the night.They have been around since I was a kid, their white round bulbs like full moons, peeking through the trees, lining the streets.
Yes, some things are exactly the same…..
My Dad still writes checks to get gas, my Mom knows the checkers at the store personally and one of them will come around with a hug when she sees her in line. One of the local Deli’s, The Butcher Shoppe is owned by dear friends and has hosted early morning Bible studies and employed many friends and neighbors. I stop in there everytime I go back home for their special seasoning, I have people in several states hooked on it.
My Mom still goes to the Post Office to mail letters and goes to the same bank she has gone to forever to get her bank statements. Of course she knows the tellers there too! She even took a stuffed Santa to her cleaners and they cleaned it for her, though they said in their broken english…..”I never cleaned Santa before!” But they did it for her because she brings a lot of business and they appreciate it.
I went to a Memorial where friends gathered, some of whom have known each other 50 years or more. My folks can still see imprints of their grandparents in town. The houses they lived in, the location where the old blacksmith shop was that my grandfather owned, the house my Mom had her first Birthday party at when she was 12 years old, given to her by big sister Esther. She still sees some of those “girls”, now in their eighties in town.
I drove down my Grandmother’s street while I was there. Her old house is for sale now. I stopped and paused in front of it one night. I parked there, remembering….hearing all of our voices from the past. The screen door was open and it bothered me. I thought about going up and closing it, but then I thought that might be closing the door on a past that I wasn’t ready to close….
I passed the High school where my folks went to high school and I did too……I noticed a family friend had put on the marquee, “Happy 80th Birthday Norman.” I thought how cool it was that I knew these people personally. Had been to dinner at their house many times, and mornings at her table for coffee, held a baby shower there for my sister in lawm had fed their cat and dog while they were away. This is community. The blessing of knowing your neighbors.
It is coming back to my folk’s house and seeing a homemade treat waiting on the front porch, made by their neighbor. It is borrowing things, and lending things knowing they will be returned….
There are still many places left in the world like this. It is not perfect or idyllic the way I have made it seem. The German families that once lived on the east side are no longer there, and you wouldn’t want to venture over there after dark, for gangs have moved in during the past 30 years or so. But still, a community remains where people have grown close, protected and looked out for each other in spite of change.

I now live in a place where I know my neighbors here in Arizona too! Yes, it still does happen.

I like to think of the blogging community as an extension of this. We are here for each other. We share our hopes and dreams. We open our hearts to each other. We step across another kind of street, knock on other kinds of doors and say…..”Come on in, we are glad you could join us!”


Jessie’s grove winery cat

Images from Lodiwine.com

Travelin……

I will be traveling today, driving one state over to see my family in California for a week. The road will look somewhat different than this, mostly desert until we get to the farmland of San Joaquin county……I will have a laptop and plan to spend some time in Panera Bread Company blogging and sipping coffee by the fire!

So, keep checking back in okay? Until then…..

The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”‘
So they shall invoke My name on the sons of Israel, and I
shall bless them.” Numbers 6:22-27



Lauryn’s Angel

Angel by Lauryn

“Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, “‘From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise’?” Matthew 21:16

This drawing may be a bit hard to see, but I had to post it today. My niece Lauryn drew this on the back of her big sister’s homework. They posted it on Facebook and it was a great way to start my day! Lauryn is a very late talker and has some of the characteristics of Autism. She is extremely engaged with those she is close to and very demonstrative now at aged 7. She is using new phrases all the time and I think she is extremely aware of everything going on around her. She is so very precious to me and I can’t wait to see her at the end of the month.

I was reminded of these verses when I saw it:

“And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:3-5

I love how Jesus lifted the status of people, especially those who were considered on the lower rungs of society…..the poor, the lowly, the weak, the sick…..and of course women and children, wherever He went.

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:10,11

I am so proud of you Lauryn, for all you have accomplished in your little life, we all love you! I just know that you spoke to the Angels before you spoke to any of us…..

Thoughts on a Sunday Morning…….

Now the tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Luke 15: 1,2

Jesus knew that they were muttering, and He knew just what they were muttering about……then knowing full well they were hanging on His every word (they couldn’t help themselves) He zings them with the parable about the lost sheep. Luke 15: 3-7

I wish I could have seen their reactions……I was reflecting on how He must think of how we sometimes “do church.” Let me rephrase that, how I do church. I imagine Him answering the question much like this.

“If it doesn’t change your life, make you go out into my world and seek my lost sheep, do the work I sent you to do, then what good is it? I have plenty of people and angels to praise Me right here in Heaven. There is a whole world out there that needs saving, that is broken, hungry, cold, needs shelter, needs to see my Light in you…….Love them as I have loved you.”

I am thinking of happy memories today, grateful for a Baptist mother who wasn’t afraid to let us enjoy the fun parts of Halloween. My Dad came to the Lord later in life and after he did we still enjoyed dressing up and setting up the “spook” in the hall every Halloween. I can never pass a Halloween day without thinking of all of his grand costume ideas, and us carving pumpkins together on a crisp fall day. I just called him to reminisce and laugh about our memories and he told me that there was what was supposed to be a small event for Halloween that quickly turned into 400 people parading through the streets dressed in all manner of evil costumes. It is sad that something so innocent has turned into what it is now for some…..Lady Gaga dressed as meat. What next?

Jehovah Rapha Our Healer

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

I have had the flu for a couple days. You know the feeling, like life is going on all around you and you have stopped moving. But I knew that I would be better, at least I thought I would be better. But what about if I knew that chances were slim to none, barring a miracle, that I would get better at all….that changes things. Everytime I get sick I think of my sister in law who fought so courageously for so long…..so many days waking, working, feeling sick, and then when she could no longer work, endless rounds of chemo. She was always hopeful, always thinking of others, even to the end. She lost her battle with ovarian cancer about 12 years ago now.

Well, she lost the battle but she won the war, for she died at peace with a smile on her face. Everyone who was in the room can attest to that. She died in the arms of our Jehovah Rapha, our healer. Shortly before she passed from this life to the next, she was asking my brother about our Grandfather, who died of cancer when he was in his sixties. She had heard about him, how he loved roses, and being close to the earth, making things grow, and camping.

She asked my brother what color his roses were and he listed them all……she listened thoughfully and then  said, “He told me he liked white roses.” Well, I have no Scriptural basis for this belief, but I happen to believe that there will be someone to greet us when we get to Heaven, and I think that he was probably one of the first to welcome her…..with one of Heaven’s own white roses.

by the wounds of Our Great Healer, we are healed………

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Photo by Kathy Roncarati

Recommended reading: (90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper)

Halleluiah Anyhow!

What I would like to be doing right now…….
What I am doing? Working. But I found a little space of time to pray, and ask for special grace for today.
 I didn’t want to get up early, I wanted to stay home. I was craving a couple extra hours sleep. Last night I lost a big chunk of my tooth and also a big chuck of the bonus I just got……I watched it sprout wings and fly away. I called to get sympathy from my Mom and she laughed when I told her. But that is why I love her. She always looks at the bright side, “At least you have the money to pay for it,” she said, “and a dentist you like.” Okay Mom…..you are right.
I am thankful that I do have the money…..and the tooth (or what is left of it) does not hurt. It would be a very long weekend if it did. Then I went down to use the ATM and it was broke, so I had to get a co-worker to cover me so I could run to the bank. I was irritated at that…..but then I prayed, “Thank you God, that I have a job where I have the freedom to do this.”
Halleluiah anyhow!
As I crossed the parking lot to the car, a bit peeved because I was having issues at work that needed dealing with. I heard the birds singing……I also heard my Mom’s voice saying, “Lori, the birds are singing for you.” She knows I love birds. Then I got emotional……I know that someday I won’t be able to hear her voice. I will have to wait for Heaven…..I wanted to cry.
I got my money, and I figured that since I was out, and that it was a beautiful day, and the sun was shining……and all my co-workers are at work just like me and would also rather be home. I bought three dozen Krispy Kremes to take back. Because I have been fortunate to have been taught, to have learned along the way that if you do something for others, you will be blessed.
So I do feel better now. Everyone loved the donuts. I still have the work issues to deal with, but I have a job. And many people who love me.
And my tooth that needs fixing doesn’t hurt.
And in light of eternity, all these things that I call problems are really small.
There is much to be thankful for…….
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:17
God is good and He is still on the throne!
Halleluiah anyhow….